You call your High Priest Billy Bob.
You call the four elements with a flash light.
You ever cancled a ritual because of a football game.
You've postponed a handfasting to watch payperview wrestling.
Your athame also has a can opener and a nail file on it.
Your ceremonial jewelry is plastic pop-beads.
You celebrate cakes and ale with Beer nuts and a Keg.
The Superbowl is your most important Sabbat.
You use an engine block for an altar.
You've ever marked out the circle with duct tape.
You've ever done a Lotto spell.
Your scrying mirror says "objects may be closer than they appear."
You've ever financed a ritual tattoo.
Your child and your dog have the same magickal name.
You call quarters north, east, south, and over yonder.
Your simple feast is beer and twinkies.
You end your rituals with "Y'all come back now, y'hear?"
Your anointing oil smells like Old Spice.
You've ever worn ritual robes made out of camouflage.
Your Ritual robes are from K-mart, or w/ Harley Davidson patches.
Your idea of ritual garb is cutoffs and a tank top.
You have ever refilled your chalice from a keg.
The god representation on your altar is a velvet Elvis painting.
The goddess representation on your altar is a Dolly Parton album cover.
Your altar cloth is a confederate flag.
When the High Priestess says the circle is open but unbroken, you yell "Yeeeeeeeehaaawwwwww"
If you've ever participated in a ritual where any of the above were used,and didn't immediatly run fer dem der hills!
BLESSED BE......
