Far out in the reaches of the galaxy, there was a tiny planet called B037000328073. You could a mile around B037000328073 and come back right where you started. A large atmospherium bubble surrounded B037000328073, keeping the oxygen in place. The planet only contained a house. A tiny brown rodent creature called Cobber Dobber lived there. Cobber was the President and the Governing Body of B037000328073, and he did a fine job at it, since nobody else was around.
There was a parrot in the house. Cobber had been spending a lot of time trying to teach it to say "pieces of eight," but it didn't seem to work.
"Pieces."
Cobber sighed, wiping his nose with his artificial arm. It didn't work, so he used his other arm instead. "Pieces of eight!"
"Pieces?" the parrot cackled.
Cobber slapped his fat racoon tail against the floor, clenching his fists at the sides of his kimono. "Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Pieces, pieces, pieces!"
"Pieces," the parrot agreed.
Cobber's wide pointy ears lowered in frustration. "Aaargh! No! Pieces-Pieces of eight, you stupid bird!"
"Polly," the parrot whimpered, scampering away from him.
"I'm sorry, Polly. I just wanted you to say pieces of eight for me."
"Pieces."
"No, Polly. Pieces of eight. C'mon. I know you can learn how to say pieces of eight."
"Pieces. Awk."
Cobber shook his head. "We'll try this again later, Polly." He stomped up the stairs, to the bathroom.
He had been soaking a wool sweater in a bathtub full of water, concentrated dish soap, and bleach. He took his monocle out of his pocket and leaned over the rim, examining the article of clothing. It had once fit him. Now it was only big enough to fit on a doll. He took it out, staring at it. "Oh Polly!"
The bird flew up into the bathroom, perching on a shelf. "Awk. Pieces."
Cobber approached the bird with the dripping sweater. "Here, Polly..."
"Awk! Pieces!" It flapped away, perching on the bathtub.
Cobber grabbed the parrot by the feet. It squawked and flapped its feathers like mad, but Cobber kept a firm grip. After a lot of flapping and struggling, the sweater was on the bird. It shivered, squirming and struggling to move its wings under the fabric. "Pieces!" It bit Cobber on his good hand. Cobber yelped and dropped it.
The bird hopped about on the floor, hopping around. It said "pieces" and bit Cobber on the foot.
"Ow!" Cobber frowned at Polly. "You don't like the sweater, do you."
"Awk!"
Cobber's ears lowered. "Well I can't wear it. What am I supposed to do with it?"
"Pieces."
Cobber rubbed his chin. "Cut it into pieces? Why, that's brilliant!" He took the sweater off Polly, bringing the tiny piece of cloth downstairs.
The fabric was still dripping. Cobber wiped his hand on his kimono. "Oh. Maybe I should dry it first." He went into the basement, hanging the sweater on a line.
He noticed a rolled up piece of yellowing paper on the floor by the washing machine. "Wow! What's that?" He knelt down and picked it up, staring at it with his monocle. It was a treasure map.
"Wow! A real life treasure map!" His tail slapped the concrete floor repeatedly. "Oh boy! How exciting! I can hardly wait to go treasure hunting!" He paused. "Oh! I'm not even prepared yet!" He dashed up into the attic, and spent the next few minutes rooting around in boxes. He pulled out a giant brown fedora. "Aha!" He placed it on his head, then grabbed a leather jacket from the wall and hurried down the stairs.
He put on the jacket. "Oh! But what if I get hungry? What then?" Cobber paused a minute, then went to the kitchen, packing several peanut butter sandwiches, cookies, chips, two cucumbers, two carrots, an orange, a steak knife, and a Thermos full of milk into a Captain America lunchbox. He threw it into a backpack, and hurried to the basement, poring over the map.
The bird perched on Cobber's shoulder. "Pieces."
"Ohhh!" he said. "I need to *catch a star* to get to the treasure!"
"Pieces?"
"That means I have to leave Cobber removed a butterfly net from the tool bench.
"Pieeeces?"
Cobber put the map in his bag and set the bird on the drier. "Sorry, Polly. You need to stay here and make sure burglars don't break in. Now, there'll be crackers in the cabinet, so don't worry about that, Polly. Just go in and get yourself some."
The bird hopped back on his shoulder. "Pieces?"
"No, Polly."
"Pieces." It looked mournful now.
Cobber went back upstairs and set Polly on her perch. "Goodbye, Polly."
Polly squawked at him.
Cobber shook his head. "Bye, Polly." He took his things and dashed out the door, shutting it before the bird got out.
He walked to a crater, staring at the stars. "Okay, shooting star. Where are you?" None came. He waited a long, long time. He went inside the house, ate a sandwich, gave Polly some more crackers, and shut the bird inside the house again.
There it was. A comet. Cobber slung his backpack over his shoulder and jumped up through the bubble, swinging the butterfly net. He missed.
A few hours later, more comets came. After two or three tries, Cobber caught one, and was speeding through the galaxy, his body encapsulated in atmospherium.
Un baguette, sil vous plait!
Now, a few light years later, Cobber began to see a shiny object. The object became larger and larger, and, voila! It was a space station! After thanking the comet, he jumped off and swam to an airlock, knocking on the door.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" He pushed on a button on a device, activating an intercom. "COBBER DOBBER!"
Ferme la bouche!
This was an entry at the Sci-Furries yahoo group. The inspiration was from The Little Prince. I think they weren't ready for this, so there were long periods of silence. If anyone wants to play a furry campaign set in the old west, please e-mail me and we can keep this story going!
If you want to add to the story, or start your own, Please e-mail the Game Master at akktri@iname.com with your questions.
