And just who are the real robbers and the saddened victims in this story? If the robbers only knew!
In reference to a robbery in mid February, west of a small Missouri town, many material items were stolen. They included a huge red Wheel Horse riding lawn mower, an excellent gas bar-b-que, meat from the freezer, a red tool chest with drawers lined with foam back carpeting, well stocked with tools laid out in order according to size, and many other tools with which a farm needs in order to produce. In the third drawer were hand written instructions on "How to Change and To Sharpen the Lawn Mower Blades." There was an assortment of essential and non-essential tools…complete sets and large selections.
This is a story about a victim who smoked and was robbed of living by the Big "C".
This story could have started in August last year when the victim gave up smoking on his 65th birthday! That was the day that he decided that he would never smoke again! But, two weeks later, he was diagnosed with cancer…right lung. Deep linear radiation was administered and 25 treatments later followed by the cool down period and many hours and days of agonizing the outcome on his body, such as, possible lung removal, partial lung removal, necessary permanent oxygen supplement, and even agonizing hours on where it would strike next?
Great fear and trepidation always loomed high! Then, the informative CT scan was revealed, and indeed, he now had beautiful scar tissue in the right lung, the Big "C" had been healed!
For many lung cancer victims the nightmare could stop and they could live happily ever after. No So! That was not the end of the fear and trepidation, which had become his middle name. The CT scan now showed a lymph node on the artery and vein between the kidneys…and a very small tumor in the bladder. Both biopsied. Both malignant.
The bladder tumor was successfully removed by inserting some sort of grabbing instrument into the bladder removing the little bitty bugger and 20 deep linear radiation treatments were administered to the lymph node.
The bearer of these malignant messes had complained of his right shoulder hurting, but nothing was available to be picked up on the CT scan. He complained that "they" wouldn't listen about the pain, so he went to a local Chiropractor. When the Medical doctor heard about his plan of action, she re-x-rayed his shoulder and now a pecan size tumor had made its appearance.
She now executed her plan of action with radiation on the shoulder.
These treatments ended mid January. He was on hold for another cool down period and decided to head south to spend his next round of fear and trepidation with his Snowbird buddies on the Gulf.
It was while he was in Alabama that he received the bad news of a robbery of the other kind in February. He appeared to take this news of the farm robbery harder than the robbery on his life. It was pretty bad…yet it had one good point. While awaiting the remainder of the cool down period following his treatments and the endurance of his anxiety over his return to the medical arena where once again the doctors would assay or verdict his precarious health problems, his mind became obsessed with making spread sheets of possible stolen items. Whereby, upon his return to his Missouri farm he could commence to check off of his list and to complete his report needed to present to the Insurance Company and to the Legal Authorities.
He made a thorough and time consuming list on a 12 page spread sheet on his personal computer, using the one finger approach on his PC num pad. The legal authorities were called and presented his 12-page spreadsheet…of course, nothing was done. The Insurance Company sent a meager check.
The medical assessment did not offer any better news. The only good news on this whole mystery story is about: "Whoever is the unknown recipient of the Wheel Horse lawn mower, the beautiful bar-b-que pit, and the elegant red tool chest that rolls around on wheels, with hand written instructions on how to change and sharpen the three mower blades, in the third drawer."
When his lung cancer was diagnosed, his world started getting a frightened ending. Death became a scary future to him. He was angry, blameful, cynical, demoralized and devastated, edgy, fearful, guilty and gloomed/doomed and grieving. Hateful, indignant, jealous, kaput, lonely, mad, nasty, ornery, pained, quaked, resentful, sorry and sad, terrified, unarmed, vexatious, worrisome, Exasperated, yearning, and zestless.
He had every alphabetized feeling. He went through them frontwards and backwards, getting stuck on a few, stuck on some longer than some of the others…as the list once rampaged his orderly life. The cancer victim was blessed with a very special soulmate who shared each above feeling with him. They were often on the same feeling simultaneously and when they were, there was much harmony. When they were not…much honesty shared forth. They were never behind on shared feelings…sometimes poles apart on how each felt about life until feelings blended once again between the two.
Some of the things he did try to do were to finalize all loose ends. He wanted to teach his scared and saddened soulmate everything that she would need to know after he was gone. His soulmate was never helpless about her life, but she was certainly was helpless about his living. He wanted to teach her everything that she would need to know. It was very painful for her to remember each set of his step by step instructions…which included such items as how to put a heating element in an electric hot water heater; how to wash the filter in the electro static air filter; filling the water softener; changing the rust and iron removing filter; where the water shut off valves were on the well; how to oil the outside air conditioner condenser; and to change the bag on the central vacuum system.
The list seemed endless, but it was so very important for him to finally teach her these things…to give meaning and order to his last days. It was very hard for her to receive these instructions. To her, it was much like some one giving orders from the grave. The irony being: How could he expect her to follow these orders? She certainly never followed too many of his detailed instructions on this side of his grave. She was of such an independent capable responsible nature…but she patiently listened with silent rapport to what seemed endless redundant instructions.
He insisted on teaching her how to change and to sharpen the three blades on the Wheel Horse lawn mower. She finally condescended to listen and to learn…with pencil and pad in hand; she did itemize each step by step instruction.
When the blades were removed and sharpened and ready to return to the mower deck, she proceeded to write the reassembling instructions. He said, "You won't need to write these, you just reverse the process."
To which she said, "Oh, no, I will, too, need to write each one as it is given. Because when you are up there in Heaven and it is time for you to get upset as you did at Steps #7 and #13, I want to wait for you to finish being upset and calm down before I go on to the next step. It is possible that you're being upset with my clumsiness will happen at different places as we reverse these procedures. I wouldn't feel comfortable with you yelling on the wrong step." She really misses her instruction sheet, which is in the third drawer of that tool chest…but the lawn mower is gone too.
Their time together is drawing to a close…and she will miss him much more than any instruction sheets, or, than he would miss his lawn mower. These were merely items to defocus from the pain of his dying. The list will come to a screeching halt! Their time together will come to an end. The memories will never cease. She feels like his Spirit will continue to give her instructions when she needs to make the necessary changes, and she realizes, too, like her life is being mysteriously robbed of him.
***in peace and love…rell
