Chapter Fifteen

Lou was stunned and couldn’t find her voice. She looked up and this time she met Connor’s eyes. Neither spoke.

“What are you looking at him for, Lulu? Does your not saying anything mean no?”

Lou could hear the pain in his voice and continued to smooth his hair to keep him calm. “We can talk about this when you’re better.” The mere thought of losing him was enough to sway her towards marrying him, especially if it meant being able to keep him in her life forever.

“No!” Flynn used all his remaining strength to turn his head and look at her. “I love you, Lulu. I’ve wanted to marry you for as long as I can remember and I want to marry you tonight, if you’ll have me. I want to have something to fight for, a reason to live.”

“But Flynn, you have everything to live for. Your family, the ranch…”

“And you, Lulu. I want to live for you. Will you do it? Will you marry me?”

Lou didn’t know if she could say anything other than ‘yes’. The man lying in her lap was her best friend, her life. If marrying him and spending the rest her life letting him love and care for her was what would help him live to become a very old man, then she would do it. “Yes. I’ll marry you, Flynn.”

“Good. I’ll make you happy, Lulu. I swear.”

“Do you double dog swear?”

“I double dog swear.”

When the wagon reached Shane Malone’s surgery Liam, Henry and the two hands who traveled with them, carried Flynn inside. Connor ran off at Flynn’s insistence to find the priest. He wasn’t going to let Shane operate until he and Lou were married properly.

Shane started to prepare Flynn for surgery so he could remove the bullets and try and repair some of the damage Ethan’s bullets had done. Sensing this would be his hardest operation ever, he sent Henry after his colleague, Dr. Peters.

Flynn continued to fight the ether Shane was trying to administer by shaking his head back and forth thus making it harder for his brother to put the rag over his mouth and nose.

“Damn it, Flynn! Stop this nonsense. I have to put you out so I can work.”

Flynn stopped shaking his head and tried to catch his breath. It was getting harder for him to take air into his lungs. “Please, Shane. Wait for Connor. I gotta marry Lulu.”

“You’re crazy, Flynn. She’s not going anywhere. You’ll do it after I get these bullets out.”

“No! I’m doin’ it now or you just leave me here to die!”

Shane shook his head at his brother’s stubbornness. “You’ve got five minutes more and then I can’t wait any longer. He figured it would take Dr. Peters that much longer to join him. Checking the bandages, he tried to hide his dismay at the continued bleeding. The amount of lost blood was his greatest concern and the more time they wasted the more Flynn’s chances of making it through the surgery decreased.

With a minute to spare, Lou pushed through the heavy curtains pulling Father Hansen behind her. She stopped beside Flynn and took his hand in hers. “He’s here, Flynn. We made it.”

“Good. Shane’s being pushy and didn’t want to wait.”

Lou noticed Flynn’s voice was getting weaker by the minute and she fought back a fresh wave of tears as she looked at his ashen face. “We should really get on with this then so he can fix you up.” Lou waved the priest closer to the table.

“This is highly unusual. Don’t you think we should wait until after the patient’s feeling a little better?” The priest’s doubts about Flynn’s recovery was evident in his voice.

Liam stepped forward and took control of the situation. “Father Hansen, my boy wants to marry this beautiful girl, tonight, and I would appreciate your help. They’ve made up their minds and as a family we stand behind them. Will you proceed?”

Father Hansen could see the urgency on the young couples’ faces and he sensed they knew the desperation of their situation. “I will, but I think we will do the short version tonight. How about another, bigger wedding when you feel up to it, young man?”

“That would be nice, Father.” Flynn pictured Lou in a long, flowing, white dress and it made him sigh peacefully.

“Do you have any rings?” The priest looked at them questioningly.

“We didn’t have time. Can we marry without them?” Lou was panicked at the thought that without a ring they couldn’t be married. She could see Flynn slipping as the minutes ticked by and she wanted the ceremony done so she could ease his mind.

“We can do without them.” The priest could only shake his head and try to roll with the flow. “What’s one more unorthodox moment to this wedding? I just like to have something to bless.”

“The cross, Lulu.”

“What do you mean, Flynn?”

“Give him my grandfather’s cross to bless.”

“Of course!” Lou pulled the well-worn bootlace out from under her bloodstained shirt and handed the precious heirloom to the priest.

Father Hansen opened his bible at the exact same moment that Shannon and Fallon rushed in. Already filled in on the sudden wedding they stood silently with their husbands. Shannon made the sign of the cross and thanked God for getting them there in time.

Flipping the pages in his book, Father Hansen cleared his throat. “Well, I guess we’ll skip right ahead. Do you, Flynn Patrick Malone, take Louise Elizabeth McCloud to be your wife? For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish ‘til death do you part?” His head immediately jerked up after his last words. What a cruel twist of fate, he thought.

Flynn paid no attention to the ceremony’s ironic words. He only had eyes for Lou. “I do.”

The priest quickened his pace as he watched the wounded boy start to drift back into unconsciousness. “Do you, Louise Elizabeth McCloud, take Flynn Patrick Malone to be your husband? For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish ‘til death do you part?”

The irony was not lost on Lou as she looked down into Flynn’s eyes. They were eyes that she believed were as green as all of Ireland. “I do.”

Father Hansen said a quick prayer over the Celtic cross and Liam stepped forward to place it around Lou’s neck for his son.

“Repeat after me, Flynn. With this symbol of my love, I do the wed.”

Gazing into the face of the most beautiful girl he had ever known, Flynn reached up to brush away Lou’s tears. “With this symbol of my love, I do thee wed.”

Father Hansen closed his bible and said a silent prayer for the boy’s health and recovery before declaring the couple married. “Then, by the powers vested in me by the Catholic Church, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Lou bent down so Flynn would not try to sit up. She gently placed her lips on his. It was a tender kiss and when they broke, Flynn whispered to her. “See Lulu, I told you the next time I kissed you we would be in front of a preacher.”

“You were right, Flynn. You’re always right.” Lou kept her face close to his and didn’t see the rest of their family retreat from the room. “I’m gonna go wait outside now and Shane’s gonna make you all better. Okay?”

Flynn could barely nod his head, his strength now completely depleted.

Placing his hand gently back on the table, Lou turned her numb body to leave. With one last look back at her new husband, she walked into the front room to begin many long hours of agonizing waiting.

The sun began to rise and Shane and Dr. Peters had yet to emerge from behind the drawn curtains. Lou couldn’t take sitting on the hard, straight-backed chair any longer and stepped out onto the front porch. Both Shannon and Fallon watched her leave and Fallon insisted on following her out.

Sitting on the top step, looking into the rising sun, Lou clutched her necklace and did not look up when Fallon carefully lowered herself to sit beside her.

“It’s too cold out here for you. You should be inside taking care of the baby.”

“Lou, this baby’s gonna be just fine. It’s you I’m worried about.” Fallon placed her arm around Lou’s shoulder and pulled her into an embrace. Stroking her hair, she rocked the exhausted girl as she let all of her emotions pour out.

Taking a deep breath, Lou regained as much control as the situation would allow. “I can’t lose him, Fallon. I just can’t.”

“They’re working on him as best as they can, sweetie. I can’t make you any promises, but he’s a fighter just like you are. And remember, you’ve made it through two scares now.”

Lou smiled at the memories of her near death experiences. “Do you think I did the right thing tonight? You know, marrying him now, when he’s like this?”

“Lou, I know you did the right thing.” Fallon held both of her new sister-in-law’s hands between hers and spoke from her heart. “You mean the world to him, Lou. You always have and I know you care for him too. I’m honored that you would marry him like this, grant his wish, so he can have something to look forward to when he wakes.”

“But what if he doesn’t wake up?”

“Then know that you made him a very happy man as he left this world,” said Shannon.

She didn’t hear them come out of the Surgery, but Lou looked up to see Shannon and Liam standing behind her. She stood and rushed into the arms of the only real mother she had known in over six years. Assuming they meant he was already gone, she nervously asked, “Is he dead?”

“No, child. Shane hasn’t come out yet. I just wanted to, actually we just wanted to come out here and thank you.” Shannon reached for her husband’s hand. “We wanted to thank you for making him so happy, not just today, but everyday.”

“I didn’t do anything special.”

“You did, Louise. You gave him your friendship and your own kind of love.”

“It was easy. He gave me his friendship too. And I always knew he loved me like that, but…”

Liam interrupted her and took his turn to speak. “You don’t ever have to apologize or justify your feelings to us, Lou. We know you love him in your own way and that will always be enough for us. Just as it is for him.”

The four turned to re-enter the surgery and Shannon hung back with Lou for a moment more. “Louise, please know that whatever happens, you were family long before you became my daughter-in-law and you will always have a home with us.”

“Thank you, Shannon. That means everything to me.”

It was another hour before the two weary doctors emerged from the treatment room. Immediately everyone was on his or her feet, but it was Lou who broke the silence.

“How is he, Shane?”

The oldest Malone child shook his head as he spoke. “I don’t know, Lou. I just don’t know. He lost a lot of blood and one of the bullets did damage to his lungs. I’m afraid of them filling with fluid and infection setting in. He’s too weak right now to fight back. He’s in a bed now and I gave him something to make him more comfortable. All we can do now is wait.

“Can we see him?”

“One at a time. Let Fallon go first, I want her to go upstairs and lay down when she’s done.”

“I feel fine, Shane.” Fallon was determined to stay with her family.

“Mrs. O’Shea, I agree with your brother.” Dr. Peters was slightly older and a well respected doctor in the community. “The stress is not good for you or the baby. You can come back and see him later.”

Fallon chose not to argue when double-teamed by the doctors and slipped behind the dark curtains and into the examining room. Lou waited for everyone to make his or her visits and went in last. She climbed onto the bed beside her new husband and leaned forward to kiss his brow. He felt warm and she knew this was the fever from the infection Shane feared. She held his hand, but was too tired to speak.

Lying down beside Flynn, she curled her body to his and tried to will her good health and strength to jump from her body to his. She spent her wedding night sleeping beside her husband and praying he would live to see another day.

The vigil at Flynn’s bedside began to take its toll on everyone as one day rolled into two and two days dragged into three. Flynn had not woken since the surgery and was suffering the effects of a high fever. In his delirium he called out for everyone including Lou, his family, and even Kiley. Sometime during the second night as Lou lay beside him in the narrow bed she woke to his cries for Ethan to let her go. Remembering why they were in this predicament in the first place, she cried herself back to sleep, overwhelmed with guilt.

In the middle of the third day, Flynn began to stir. Lou was alone in the room while everyone else was upstairs at Shane and Charlotte’s pretending they could eat lunch and keep it down. Someone was planning to relieve her afterwards, so she could try and force down her own meal.

Lou watched Flynn struggle to open his eyes. She started to talk to him and encourage him to open them. Fighting a tiring battle, he tried to focus on her melodic voice and pull himself from the dream-like state he was in. Lou continued speaking in hushed tones and he could hear her urging him to wake up and come back to her. After several agonizing tries, his eyes were open and Flynn blinked in an attempt to adjust to the light of the room.

“Flynn, you’re awake! I’ll go get the others. Shane will want to look at you.” She was amazed by his determination, yet she forced herself to ignore the pain that was evident in his eyes.

Flynn squeezed the hand that held his with the little strength he could muster and would not allow her to leave. His labored breathing was making his throat dry and with a nod towards the pitcher beside the bed he asked for some water.

Lou held the cup to his lips and gently cradled his head with her other hand. He swallowed only a sip before indicating he was finished. She returned the cup to the bedside table and climbed back onto the bed beside him. Sitting and facing him, she cradled his cheek with her hand and leaned in close so he wouldn’t strain himself when talking.

“Why can’t I go get the family. They’ll want to know you’re awake.”

“Because I won’t be awake for long, Lou. I wanted to be with just you. I want to be with my wife.” He liked the sound of saying wife and wished he could have lived long enough to use it more often. Flynn needed to talk to Lou and he needed to hold on for just a few more minutes to do so. He had accepted that his time on earth was over and knew it was his time to make this reality easier on her. He wanted to make the letting go less painful for his beautiful, new wife.

“Let me just tell them. You can sleep afterwards.”

“Lulu, you’re not listening to me. It’s my time. I can’t fight anymore.”

“Your time? What do you mean, Flynn? You can’t leave me. We just got married. You said if I married you it would give you something to fight for, a reason to live!”

He took several short breaths in an attempt to steady his voice. It hurt every time he inhaled, but he wouldn’t tell her that. “It did. I think I made it this long because I knew you were here with me, but I’m tired, Lulu. I just can’t fight anymore. If I could stay with you forever, I would. I promised I would never let anything happen to you again and now look at me. I’m leaving you.”

“No you’re not, Flynn! You saved me and I won’t let you leave me. What will I do without you?” Her love for him was unwavering and although she didn’t feel the same romantic passion he felt, she knew she would have been happy as his wife. They would have led a good life.

Flynn closed his eyes and tried to stop his tears, but his emotions were too powerful and they slipped from behind his lids. “You’re going to go on with your life, Lulu. That’s what you’re going to do. One day, you’re going to love someone as much as I love you.” “I won’t do that, Flynn. I want to stay here, be married to you. I know we could be happy.” She knew she sounded like a spoiled child, but in this situation, she wanted her way and only her way.

Her denial was making him angry. He had to make her promise to go on, to let someone else into her life one day. “Stop it, Lulu! You have to listen to me. I’m gonna die. We both know that, but I can’t go, knowing you’ll mourn me forever. I won’t have it. You have to promise me that you’ll find someone special and you’ll love him with all the heart and passion you can. Find someone to cherish like I cherish you. Can you promise me that?

Lou shook her head and felt the tears trail down her face. “I won’t! I can’t, Flynn. I’m only learning to love you and now you tell me to go find another man to love.”

“You’ll find him one day, Lulu. You won’t have to learn to love him, you just will. Promise me you’ll do it.” His breathing was becoming more labored and he was desperate for her to make this promise while he could still hear it.

Lou didn’t believe that she would find someone else who would love her like Flynn Malone did or that she would ever open herself up to love again, but if a promise was what he needed so he could rest easier, she would give him that peace of mind. Gently placing a kiss on his lips, she kept her face close to his and looked deep into his sparkling green eyes. “I swear.”

A tiny smile appeared on Flynn’s lips. “Do you double dog swear?”

Lou tried to choke back the sob she felt forming in her throat, but failed as she saw the look in his eyes. He knew he was going to die. She did not see fear or resentment or anger, only relief. He would die happy knowing she would go on. She played his game. “I double dog swear.”

“I love you, Lulu. I always have. I’ll keep you in my heart and you can keep me in yours, but I can only have a small piece. The big piece is for him, remember that.”

His mind at ease, Flynn closed his eyes and Lou lay her head on his chest. Speaking into the blankets that kept him warm, she whispered, “I love you too, Flynn.”

Lou wasn’t sure how long she stayed resting on his chest, but she stayed that way until she no longer felt it rise and fall. Only when she knew he was really gone did she grasp the enormity of his sacrifice for her. He had died saving her in more ways than just protecting her from Ethan’s gun. He died saving her from herself by making her swear to go on with her life and find true love one day. He knew she would never break her word to him.

Placing a final kiss on his lips she removed the necklace that now served as her wedding ring. It was once Flynn’s most important possession. He had given it to her when he left her behind at the orphanage. He had given it to her so she would have some comfort and know he was always near. Now, it was her most cherished possession and she would leave it with him as she left him behind. He would have a small piece of her in heaven. She placed the Celtic cross in his lifeless hands and closed them tightly around it.

Lou looked down at him for the last time and whispered, even though there was no one else around. “Thank you, Flynn Malone. Thank you for being my best friend, for being my husband and for being in my life and in my heart. Good bye, my love. Good bye.”

Her final peace said, she knew it was time to tell the rest of her family. Turning towards the sunlight that streamed through the curtains from the front room, Lou wiped away the last tear she would shed for him that day. She was determined to grieve with dignity and honor his memory always. It was time to prepare for the rest of her life.

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Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five

Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Sixteen Epilogue


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