Chapter Sixteen Dawn broke over the clearing and as the sun rose on another perfect Nebraska morning, the sun set on a part of Lou’s life. She never thought she would have to relive the memories, but she had done so and at the same time, she bared her soul for the man who sat silently across from her. She was laying all of her cards on the table for the Kid and all she could do now, was hope she had the winning hand.
Dawn had always been Kid’s favorite time of day. It was the only moment in time that was truly meant for new beginnings. As he looked at Lou, sitting as still as a statue and waiting for his reaction, he felt a new beginning of their own ride in on the morning air. Rising to his feet, he watched her do the same. They started towards each other at the same time, together bridging the gap that had grown between them. Meeting halfway between here and there, they stood before each other, as close as they could, without touching.
Kid looked down into the face of the most beautiful and amazing woman he had ever known. He could not imagine his life without her, yet he was suddenly without the words to ask her if she would stay. Raising his hand to caress her cheek, he bowed his head and rested his forehead against hers.
Lou didn’t know where to begin. After so many hours of talking she was exhausted and hoarse, but she had to know if he’d heard her, if he fully comprehended her. Her head bent as the Kid’s still rested on hers; she focused on the toes of his boots. “Kid, did you understand what I was trying to say? Why telling you about Flynn was so important?”
Kid raised his head from hers and ducked it to meet her gaze. His voice was barely a whisper as he looked through her brown eyes into her soul. “I understood you completely, Lou. You have the big piece of my heart too.”
It was tears of joy that slipped from her eyes this time. A wave of relief flooded her body from head to toe and she reached out to hug him close to her. She inwardly rejoiced when she felt Kid’s arms close around her and hug back. They were far from a resolution, but it was a start.
Separating, but keeping a hold of her hand, Kid started to walk across the grass towards the stream. “I’m sorry, Lou. I didn’t know.”
Lou chuckled at the irony of Kid’s apology. “How could you know? I never told you and I’m sorry about that. I think I was afraid if I admitted all of that to you, I would be admitting to myself how messed up my life is.”
Kid squeezed her hand for reassurance. “Was, Lou. That’s all in the past.”
“But it’s a part of me.”
“Yes, it is and in a way I’m thankful that you had to go through all that because it brought you to me. Can I ask you a question, Lou?”
“Anything, Kid.” She was done keeping secrets.
“Why did you leave Denver? It sounds like the Malones wanted you to stay with them?”
Stopping at the edge of the water, Lou bent to take a drink before answering. “I stayed on for a few more months after Flynn died. We had a beautiful service and then buried him in the grove behind the house next to the marker they had put up for Kiley. It was strange being there without him, empty in a way. It’s hard to explain the way his laughter filled a room or how he could brighten your day with just a smile. Without him there, all there ever was, was silence.”
Smoothing her skirt, Lou sat on the bank of the stream and watched the water flow by. “Shannon was a strong woman, but I think the heartache of burying a second child took its toll on her. For weeks afterwards, she barely ever left her room. Fallon and I did our best to keep everything going in the house, but you’ve seen my cooking skills and they were worse then. Fallon was getting closer to her baby bein’ born and it made being on her feet tough. Let’s just say that we ate pretty poorly for a while.”
Kid sat down beside her in the dew covered grass and reclaimed her hand without saying a word.
“Had it not been for the birth of Fallon’s son, I believe Shannon would have continued to fade away, but that little boy was too hard to resist. He looked just like his daddy except for the Malone trademark, Irish green eyes. They named him Riley Flynn O’Shea and I think he saved us all.”
“I’m not sure when I decided to leave, but Shannon saw it coming before I could say anything. The memories were overwhelming me and all I could think about was what might have been. She came to me one morning in July, just after breakfast and told me they wouldn’t force me to stay with them. She told me she understood my desire to run because she fought it everyday and promised no one would think less of me if I left. I would always have a home with them. That was all she said. “
“You left that day, didn’t you?” Kid could see by the pain on her face that he was right.
“Actually, I left that night. I’m afraid I took the coward’s way out. I couldn’t face them so I left a note and slipped out under the cover of darkness. I regret that now and would do it differently if I had the chance to do it over again.”
“Did you ever go back or write them again?”
“I couldn’t. I think I feel more guilty about the way I left, than I do for causing Flynn’s death.”
“You didn’t cause it, Lou.”
“Not directly, but in a way I did. He would have done anything to protect me and he died doing it that time.”
“He died because that guy was a greedy madman.”
“Maybe so, but I still couldn’t go back to the ranch. When I left, I took only my clothes from my disguise and after cutting off my hair again, I returned to my life as a boy. I just drifted and picked up work where I could until I saw Russell, Majors & Waddells’s sign for Pony Express riders in the livery in Cheyenne in March of ‘60. The rest you know. I reported to Sweetwater and met Teaspoon and Emma and all y’all. And here we are now.”
Kid had one last burning question. “Do you regret telling me?”
Lou paused before answering and chose her words very carefully. “I regret the pain I caused you by keeping my past a secret and I regret that we let ourselves get so carried away with the situation that we ruined our future, but what I’ll never regret is telling you.”
“What do you mean ruined our future? Are you still leaving?” Panic set in as Kid stared at her incredulously.
“I don’t know, Kid. I feel like I should, like if I married you now, it would be wrong.”
“How can you say that! I’m the one you’re supposed to marry; don’t you think I should get a say? I don’t want you to go! I can’t live without you and I want us to get married. I love you, Louise McCloud. I’ve loved you since that first run when I found out your secret. And if being with you means living with the knowledge that you had someone in your life before me, then that’s fine. I can do that. If I could thank Flynn Malone, I would. Not for dying or for making you promise to love someone, but for taking such good care of you.”
“You still want me? After all I told you?” Lou was convinced that no one could want someone with a past as sordid as hers.
Kid could see she needed more convincing. “I want you even more, Lou. Now I know the whole you and that just means there’s more to love. Please Lou, don’t leave me. Stay here and grow old with me. Don’t you still love me?”
“More than you will ever know. You see Kid, I loved Flynn because he loved me. He showed me love and how to love and because he was a wonderful friend. I was never in love with him like the way I am with you. He was right. I didn’t need to learn to love you, I just did. Right from that very first kiss. I was able to survive after Flynn died, but I don’t think I could survive if I lost you.”
”But you want to leave, go on with your life.”
“I would move on and exist, but I wouldn’t live. You’re what makes living possible.”
“Then what are we doing, Lou? Why are we fighting it? Why are we fighting each other? It’s simple. Right here, right now we start over. We take the new beginning the dawn is giving us and we trust it. There are no more secrets and there are no more angry words. There is only me and you and our love for each other and with that we can survive anything.”
Lou’s eyes took on a far away look and Kid wondered if she even heard him pour his heart out to her.
Lou’s voice was only slightly above a whisper when she spoke. “From the darkness of the night comes the dawn.”
“What are you saying, Lou?”
She looked up and focused on the man beside her. This was the only man she wanted to spend her life with. They would take today’s new beginning and build from there. “It was a saying Flynn used to have. He believed that there was a light at the end of every tunnel, a rainbow after every storm and a bright new day after every dark night – from the darkness comes the dawn. I guess what I’m saying is you’re right, Kid. There’s only you and me and our love and with that we will survive anything.”
Hesitant at first, the kiss that welcomed the morning became more familiar. Together, Kid and Lou lay in the glow of the rising sun and danced to their own gentle song.
Returning to the station before there were any signs of morning activity, Kid and Lou hitched their horses in front of the bunkhouse. Standing on the porch before going inside to give their family the shock of their lives, they stood and watched the ending of a beautiful sunrise. Standing in front of Kid with his arms wrapped around her, Lou let out a little sigh of contentment.
“What was that for,” asked the Kid.
“It’s amazing how much I put you through, Kid. Yet, you still keep coming back for more.” Shifting her body, she tilted her head back so she could look into his eyes. “Why do you put up with me? Really, why do you love me so much, Kid?”
Leaning down and giving her a quick, soft kiss, he never hesitated. “Because you let me.”
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Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five
Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen Epilogue
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