The only sounds audible in the darkened room were the two hearts beating rapidly. They were equal in rhythm and pace and to the young lovers whose bodies encased the hearts it was a delightful sound.
“God, Lou. If I’d known it would be better after we were married, I would have asked you sooner.” Kid McCloud kissed the top of his wife’s head, as she lay naked, wrapped around him.
Running her fingers lazily across Kid’s sweat-soaked chest, Lou pinched at his nipple in retaliation for his comment. “Are you saying it was bad before, Kid?”
“Never, Lou. I swear.” He was horrified that she thought he was serious.
“Relax, Kid. I know you were kiddin’. I do know what you mean though. I should have said yes sooner, ‘cause I think it’s better too.” And she did. Sex had taken on a whole new meaning for her starting with their wedding night only two months before. No longer was it all about hidden trysts and secret rendezvous. Now it was about making love and being in love, as well as their marriage, their commitment to each other and to making a family. She felt closer to the Kid than she ever had. “I love you, Kid.”
He smiled in the darkness just as he did anytime he heard her say those four words. She made him the happiest man alive. “I love you, too.”
Laying her head back down, she shifted the conversation towards their reason for being in the St. Joe hotel. “How do you think Teresa and Jeremiah will take the news?” Lou was genuinely worried about the changes they were about to impose upon her siblings.
Pulling the quilt around them to protect against the mid-October chill settling in the room, Kid contemplated her question. “Can’t rightly say, Lou. I’m still not sure how I feel about it all.”
“Kid! Do you not want to move back to Sweetwater and start our ranch? I thought this was what you wanted. Don’t tell me you’re still thinking about going back to Virginia!” The mere thought had Lou popping up to rest on her elbow and straining to use the dim moonlight to see her husband’s face.
“No, it’s nothing like that! I promised you on our weddin’ day that I wasn’t goin’ to fight. I’ve made my peace with my memories of Virginia. It’s just that everything’s changed so quickly. First we got married, now the Express is over and we got no jobs, we got that gift from Charlotte and now here we are ready to leave the rest of our family over a thousand miles away to move back to Sweetwater and start our ranch. And on top of all that, we’re takin’ on your sister and brother as well. It’s just a lot to think about.”
Lou smoothed the creases she couldn’t see, but knew were forming, in Kid’s forehead. She hated it that he was so worried, but knew in the long run the move would be good for them. “You’re right, Kid. It is a huge undertaking, but I think we’re up to it. As long as we do it together, we can do anything.”
Kid lifted his head and found Lou’s lips. “Of course we can. We’re the McCloud family.” Kid kissed her again a little deeper. “Then again, it doesn’t hurt that Charlotte gave you all that money. It sure was one heck of a weddin’ gift. That old lady you two worked for must have been worth a fortune when she died.”
Lou sighed softly and lay back down without answering. She repositioned herself for sleep and although she enjoyed the feel of Kid curving to her body from behind, and him flinging his arm across her body possessively like he always did, this night it didn’t bring a smile to her burdened face.
Linking her hand with his, she listened to his breathing change as he drifted into a satisfied sleep. Eyes wide open, Lou couldn’t help but think about Charlotte’s gift and the lies she’d had to tell everyone about it.
She’d stumbled out of the barn after an embarrassing run in with Noah and Cody over Kid’s trying on of a new shirt, and had been shocked to find Charlotte Rowan was the visitor who wanted to see her. She hadn’t laid eyes on Charlotte in over four years and although she thought of her often, it was usually in the nightmares that never failed to plague her sleep.
After steering Charlotte away from the curious stares of Kid, Rachel and the rest of her friends, Lou was even more shocked to hear that she was moving to Rock Creek permanently in hopes of starting the dress shop she and Lou had spoken of many a night at the saloon in St. Joe. The prospect of her old friend becoming her neighbor scared Lou, not only because it would be a constant reminder of her past, but also because of the trouble that might be following behind Charlotte.
Then Charlotte spoke the words Lou had longed to hear for years. “He had his henchmen beat up on the wrong man. Me and the girls gave him a beautiful funeral. Best party St. Joe’s seen in years!” She should have felt relieved, as Charlotte obviously was, but for Lou there was still the inescapable fear that he would find her and drag her back to a life she knew she would never survive.
Lou heard Kid’s breathing turn to deeper snores and rolled her eyes in the darkness under the weight of his arm. It amazed her that he could sleep along so peacefully while she lay wide-awake. Then again, he didn’t know of her troubles. She’d never told him and she hoped she never had to. This was her first visit to St. Joe since Charlotte’s news, but even the knowledge that Ethan Wicks was dead and buried didn’t make it any easier.
Lou envied Charlotte’s ability to seemingly wipe away the years she’d spent as Wicks’ star whore with just the blink of an eye. Lou had only spent one month as his personal ‘favorite’ and she still remembered the detestable touch of his rough hands and the stale stench of his warm breath like it was only yesterday. The only thing that helped push away the pain was the man now sharing her bed. Joining the Pony Express and meeting Kid, her one true love, was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
She’d already spent nearly three lonely years wandering the west, living and working disguised as a boy, when she answered the ad posted by Russell, Majors and Waddell for orphans to join up and work for their new overland mail delivery company. Figuring it would be the perfect place to hide while getting a regular paycheck, she made her mark, accepted her bible and advance in pay, and reported to the Sweetwater Way Station in Nebraska Territory.
Her plan to lay low and work hard while saving money to get her younger sister and brother out of the orphanage would have been fine had she not gotten robbed and shot on her very first run. It was Kid who’d found her face down in the mud and unconscious. Before she could stop him he’d hauled her into the station and shoved her shirt up to her neck to check her wound.
His shock at finding out she was a woman was not surprising to her, but everything that happened from that moment forward was. She fell in love with Kid that very day and her love for him had grown every day since. It had grown to the point where she knew she could not live without him. The knowledge that he loved her just as deeply was helping to heal her ancient wounds. Unfortunately, it was not enough to stave off the nightmares.
“Lou, wake up.” Kid pushed gently on his wife’s shoulder, all too familiar with the whimpers and thrashing that accompanied her nightmares. “It’s just a bad dream, sweetheart. If you open your eyes it’ll go away,” he cooed.
Lou could hear a distant voice calling to her. It was just beyond her reach. Shaking her head violently she tried to rid herself of the images that never changed - Wicks standing over her hunched body the first time he entered her room and told her she was ‘all grown up’…Wicks holding her down as he tore her clothes…Wicks coming back for more every night until he was satisfied he’d broken her spirit like an especially wild horse…Wicks using his fists against her when she dared to say no.
“No!” She knew she had spoken aloud the minute the word was past her lips.
“No what, Lou? Are you okay now?” Kid wrapped his arms around her shaking form and gently rocked her. This nightmare was the worst she’d had in months.
Taking deep, steadying breaths, Lou surveyed her surroundings through the endless darkness and started to relax in Kid’s strong arms. “I’m okay,” she whispered. “Just a bad dream.”
“You can say that again. Was it like the ones you used to get?”
She knew he’d heard her all those months her bunk had been above his. “No, I think this was because of that play we saw tonight at the theater.” Lou hated blaming her troubles on the mystery play Kid had taken her to see. They’d enjoyed their evening out, dressed in their finery, and she hated to spoil the memory.
“It was a bit dramatic, but I didn’t think it was all that scary,” Kid said. He didn’t say another word, instead stroking her hair and continuing to rock her. He knew she’d never tell him the truth. It was a fact that he’d resigned himself to long ago.
Lou wanted to tell Kid it was really about the demon who, no matter how hard she tried, was always with her, but it seemed so silly now. The man was dead, that should have been enough. Yet for some reason, Lou still felt like there was someone watching over her shoulder.