Kid's hopes for a reconciliation lasted only two days before Lou shocked him and the rest of the remaining Pony Express family. Randall Overton, the newest town lawyer, called on Kid as he sat with Teaspoon and Jimmy at the Marshal's office and served him with divorce papers from Lou. Staring down at the thick packet, he didn't fully understand what he was looking at, confused by both the terminology and his steadfast belief that it was a cruel joke.

Divorced many times himself, Teaspoon was familiar with the papers and knew the finality of the action. He explained it gently to Kid, fearful of the boy's reaction, and then let him alone to smash a table and two chairs as the anger and pain set in.

Kid refused to go see Lou and try and convince her to retract the decree and Lou refused to see anyone who wanted to try and talk some sense into her, including Rachel and Jimmy. She was determined to dissolve their union as quickly as possible. The matter of the divorce was the main topic of conversation for the dinner table and had even prompted Teaspoon to send a telegram to Sam and Emma. He was ready to call in the reinforcements, unwilling to let two of his 'children' destroy their lives so easily.

It was two weeks after the papers arrived and the tension had everyone around Kid and Lou on edge. Rachel was as relieved as the children to leave for the schoolhouse each morning. Teaspoon would have been happy to have his office as a refuge, but Kid had taken up residence in the room above and was spending all his spare time in the jail making everyone crazy.

Hanging out in the office, as was their routine, Jimmy and Buck eyed the Kid warily. He was busy sweeping the cells. Again.

Buck rolled his eyes as he glanced over his shoulder. "He doesn't let up with that broom and they'll be no floor left to sweep."

Jimmy nodded in agreement. "Third time he's done it this week and it's only Thursday," he sighed. "Only break we'll gets when the school lets out."

Buck rose from the checkerboard and indicated for Jimmy to follow him outside. He didn't bother to invite the Kid, knowing full well their friend wouldn't join them. Once the door was shut, Buck started right in with his rant. "I can't take much more of this, Jimmy. Either we get them back together or we're gonna have to ship him off to another town."

Surprised by the normally calm Buck, Jimmy sat on the step before answering. "We gotta give him some time. I want to get them back together just as much as the rest of y'all, but I just ain't sure it can be done." The fate of his friends' marriage was constantly on his mind.

"He's so angry all the time and then sad. It's hard to help him when he's like this."

"Breakin' up with a woman can do that to you."

"Didn't happen to you when you and Rosemary broke it off."

Jimmy contemplated Buck's remark for long seconds. "It's not the same thing." He'd been sad when they'd decided to end things, but in a way relieved. Quietly he added, "She's not Lou."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not really sure, but I guess what I mean is that Lou's the type of woman you don't shake loose so easily. She's the kind who works her way into your heart and plants roots, stays there forever."

Buck watched Jimmy's face for any further reaction and wasn't surprised when he saw none. "Do you really think Lou means it?"

"I ain't got no idea. She sent me away again last night. Claimed she was busy with her brother and sister, but I know she's just avoiding me. I'm worried about her. She don't look so good."

"What's Rachel say?"

"Not much other than she eats only sometimes and more often than not she's throwin' it back up. Sometimes she's snappin', other times she's cryin'. Rachel's about worn out."

"Teaspoon said he ain't heard from Sam and Emma yet. Thinks they're likely on the move, but maybe Emma can come and talk to her."

Shaking his head Jimmy mumbled, "I don't know if we can wait that long and hell, she won't listen to Emma any more than she's listened to us. Her mind's made up."

The conversation stopped as Teresa and Jeremiah walked up the road from the school. It had become their habit to stop by the office each afternoon to spend time with the Kid. Jimmy and Buck were thankful for their presence, as it was the only time Kid wore a smile. He sat with them and talked or helped them with their homework. Sometimes they went for a walk and got candy at Tompkins' store while other days they went for a ride.

Each afternoon he walked them back to the station and said his goodbye just out of sight of the house. He didn't want Lou to see him; afraid she'd make the kids stop visiting him. The children tried to assure him that Lou was spending more time with them, but he was able to gather from some of what they said and snippets of talk he heard amongst the others that she was not feeling well and suffering under the strain. He wanted to be happy that she was hurting as much as he was, but couldn't. He was angry, but not so much that he couldn't still worry about her.

Lou shuffled around the kitchen opening cupboards and tins. She was determined to try and take better care of her siblings and had decided to make dinner for everyone on her own. Her cooking skills were limited, but she knew she could follow Rachel's beef stew recipe easily enough. The methodical cutting of the vegetables helped to pass the time. The sun would be setting soon and she wanted to have everything ready when Teresa and Jeremiah got home. She knew they were still in town with Kid. She let them think she didn't know where they disappeared to each afternoon, but she knew. In a way she was relieved that they had him to turn to. She was trying very hard to spend more time with them, but she found she was often tired in the afternoons and not very receptive to running around and playing or working on reading and sums.

The dinner was to be a turning point, or so she hoped as the pot started to boil over. It was taking all of her energy to keep the stew and the biscuits cooking simultaneously without burning, and her head was beginning to throb with the effort. Lowering the flame and reaching for the oven door, she yelped and jumped back when the handle burned her finger.

"Louise?"

"In here Rachel." Lou stuck her finger in her mouth.

"What happened?" Setting down her teaching books, Rachel surveyed the altered state of her kitchen.

"Me and the stove ain't gettin' along." Lou held out her red finger. "It bit me."

Rachel struggled not to laugh. It was good to see Lou trying so hard and she didn't want to discourage her. "Doesn't look too serious. I think you'll live."

"Likely will, but don't know about y'all after you eat that stew."

Rachel lifted the lid expecting a disaster and was pleasantly surprised by the aroma. Holding the lid aloft she turned to compliment Lou and watched the younger woman's face turn a sickly shade of green.

Lou raced from the room and barely made it to the porch before getting sick. Rachel followed closely and helped Lou back to her bed when the nausea stopped. Tucking her under the covers, Rachel felt for a fever, but didn't expect to find one. Seeing Lou's reaction to the food had helped her start putting some of the clues together. "You don't feel warm, honey."

"Just tired." Lou let her lids lose. "I'll rest for a little while then come back down. I really need to try to do this for Teresa and Jeremiah. They're taking all this mess with me and the Kid very hard."

"I think we all are." Rachel took a deep breath before continuing. "Louise, I need to ask you a personal question. I think it may help explain why you're gettin' sick all the time and why you've been so tired."

Lou couldn't imagine what Rachel thought was wrong with her when she already knew what it was - nerves. "Go ahead." After what Rachel had already seen her through, she had nothing to hide from her friend.

"Sweetie, when was the last time you had your monthly?"

Her jaw dropped open and Lou began to fidget under the covers.

"It's important that you try to remember. Was it recently?"

Lou knew it wasn't and she couldn't be positive when the last time was. Embarrassed, she shrugged her shoulders. "I never really paid much attention to it. I've never gotten it regular like other girls. Why?" It made no sense to her what one had to do with the other.

Rachel dreaded the thought of being the one to have to tell her where all the signs were leading. "Well, with you not knowing when, and then the sickness and the mood changes, and being tired so much.Sweetie, I think you might be pregnant."

At first, Lou said nothing and Rachel wasn't sure if she understood what she'd said. When the compete break down started with first a heart breaking wail and then body wracking cries, Rachel knew she'd been heard perfectly.

She rolled over onto her side and curled into a tight ball. Slowly rocking, Lou cursed herself for not even thinking of the possibility of pregnancy. As if it hadn't been hard enough for her to break her marriage to Kid, now she would have a permanent reminder of what Wicks had done to her. What had she ever done to deserve this? She lived a good life. She worked hard, loved well, was a loyal and honest friend. There were no answers and that only made her cry harder.

"Louise, please calm down," Rachel soothed as she bent forward to hug the shaking girl. "It's okay, we'll take you to the doctor tomorrow and."

"No!" Lou turned to look at Rachel with wild eyes.

"You can't mean that. We have to be positive. We have to see if it could be."

"Wicks'?" Lou snapped as she wiped furiously at her tears. "Of course it's his! His lasting mark on me wasn't to be this scar, but his child."

"I wasn't going to say it was his. I was going to say Kid. It could be Kid's baby too."

The thought made Lou pause and for a brief moment a sense of calm came over her. She wanted to have Kid's baby. It was something she'd always wanted, but now it looked like her only chance at motherhood was going to be the product of an unspeakable ordeal. "And how will I ever know that, Rachel? We made love just the night before, but then he took me and used me. He was on me more times than I can remember. I'll never know whose it is and it just seems more likely it's his. It never happened to me and the Kid in all this time." The tears were flowing again, the anger fading and leaving Lou spiritless.

Rachel could tell that all the life she'd seen in Lou earlier in the kitchen was gone and she didn't know if after this blow she would ever get it back. "You can't say that, Louise. You have to have faith."

Lou turned back over onto her side and away from Rachel. "Why? What's the use? Just leave me be. Tell Tessie and Miah I'm resting and I don't think I'll be down for dinner."

"Please, Louise. I'll go with you to the doctor. I'll stay with you."

"No," she sobbed. "I don't want to know that it's his. When it's born will be soon enough."

Rachel tugged at Lou's shoulder and tried to get her to turn over. "You have to take better care of yourself. You need to start eating better." If she couldn't get her to go to the doctor, she would at least do what she could for both Lou and the baby.

Lou shrugged off Rachel's hand and buried her face in the pillow, ending the conversation.

Rachel leaned against the solid door after she closed it behind her. She wanted to cry just as Lou was. It made no sense that one woman should be given so much to deal with in such a short period of time and she was determined to somehow help Lou. She wasn't wholly convinced Lou was carrying Wicks' baby and she was determined to get her to a doctor. Hearing everyone come in for dinner, she knew she'd have to enlist some help.

"God bless it, Rachel! Why me? Why do I always have to be the one to bring the bad news?"

"James Hickok! Are you sayin' you won't do this?"

"Ain't sayin' that. I just want to know why I'm always the guy who has to do stuff like this?"

Rachel softened at seeing his despair. "Honey, it's not done to punish you, but because Kid and Louise love you, nearly as much as they love each other. I think for Kid hearing this news from you, or any other bad news for that matter, would just be easier. They rely on your strength."

Dropping to the settee, Jimmy rubbed at the ache forming at the base of his neck. He pushed back his hat and scratched at his forehead and rubbed his tired eyes. It was all too much for him. "They're good people, Rachel. This shouldn't be happenin' to them. This should be what happens to me."

Rachel moved to sit beside him and took over rubbing his tense neck and shoulders. "You shouldn't say things like that, Jimmy. This isn't meant to happen to anyone. You're a good man too and don't ever think otherwise."

Jimmy couldn't meet Rachel's look. "I think he blames me for not findin' him."

Rachel stopped rubbing and turned Jimmy's anguished face to hers. "He doesn't blame you, sweetheart, you searched yourself ragged for nearly three weeks. Kid knows that. I think he blames someone, but that someone is himself and even that ain't right. What happened to Louise was no one's fault. Well, no one but Ethan Wicks' fault. It's not hers, not Kid's, not Charlotte's and certainly not yours. It was the sole act of an evil man. What we have to concentrate on now is convincing Louise to go to the doctor and on prayin' real hard that this baby ain't his."

Knowing there was no other way, Jimmy relented. "I'll go tell the Kid. If for nothing else at least I know how hard he punches."

"Jimmy!"

"Who are we kiddin', Rachel? We both know he's gonna go wilder than a rooster with an itch when I tell him. You were right to ask me. I can handle this."

Rachel had no reply other than to wish him luck.

"Thanks, I'll need it."

Kid was so excited it looked like he could barely stand still to hold a thought in his head and the reaction left Jimmy baffled. When he gave Kid the message that Rachel thought Lou might be pregnant he was ready for a completely different reaction. Instead of angry, Kid was happy and it appeared as if he hadn't given a moment's thought to the possibility that it might not be his baby - that the child Lou was likely carrying might actually be his brother or sister instead of his son or daughter. Jimmy realized he was envious of Kid. He wished that he could love someone like that. He wished that he could love someone so blindly that you never doubted there was anything but goodness on the horizon.

"I can't believe this! Are you sure?" Kid was rapidly pacing the porch of the Teaspoon's office.

"Well, I ain't no doc and neither is Rachel, but the symptoms are there."

"I knew we'd be okay!"

Jimmy could only stare at his friend dumbfounded. Apparently this was more than Kid not comprehending his words, but more like him blocking them out completely. "Are you even hearin' me, Kid?"

"You said Rachel thinks Lou's havin' a baby."

"Jesus, Kid! Are you forgetting what happened in St. Joe? What Wicks did to her?" He paused and softened his tone. "The baby may be his, Kid."

The words were like a kick in the gut and the rush of thoughts Kid was fighting to suppress flooded in. He went from exuberant to angry in mere seconds.

Jimmy knew the punch was coming and didn't even try to duck as Kid flew off the porch at him. He knew the contact between fist and flesh would make the Kid feel better and for his friend's mental state, he was willing to sacrifice his jaw.

"Take that back, Jimmy!" Kid was tensed, fists up in the air, ready to punch again.

"I wish I could, Kid, but it's the truth."

The expected second punch never came. Instead, Kid tackled Jimmy to the ground. Straddling his chest, he tried to choke the horrible words back into Jimmy's mouth. "Take it back! That baby's mine!" It was killing him that Jimmy had taken away what should have been the happiest moment of his life and tainted it with the image of Wicks attacking Lou.

Jimmy coughed as Kid let up the pressure on his throat voluntarily, finally climbing off his chest. Slowly standing and wiping the dust from his clothes he watched Kid kick at the nearby hitching post.

Kid kept his back to Jimmy, ashamed that he'd been so cruel to his friend. He knew better than to shoot the messenger, but it didn't make sense. "Why couldn't she tell me herself? Why'd she send you?"

"She don't even know I'm here. Rachel sent me because she's out of her mind with worry about Lou. They only talked about this right before supper, but Lou's been cryin' ever since. She's locked herself in her room and refusin' to see a doc or eat or anything. She's losin' it, Kid, and Rachel wanted me to come for you. She's hoping you can talk some sense into her."

"What kind of sense are you lookin' for?"

"You gotta convince her to go to the doc or to at least let the doc come to her. It's for her own good, and the baby's," he added as an afterthought.

"Jimmy," Kid started with a deep sigh. "How long have you known Lou?"

Jimmy didn't answer and looked at Kid questioningly.

Kid was not deterred. "Come on, Jimmy, how long?"

"Not sure to the day," he answered cautiously, "but I'd say almost two years."

"Okay, and in those two years when can you recall me ever bein' able to talk sense into her!" Kid's voice rose as he continued. "I've got a better chance of convincing a stubborn mule to work on a blazin' hot day than I have of convincin' Lou to see the doc."

"So you won't come back with me?"

Kid rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not sayin' that. I just don't think it's gonna do any good. To be honest, I agree with Lou right now. I don't want to know if it's his either. Damn it, Jimmy! I was still hopin' I could convince her to forget about this divorce nonsense and start workin' on getting back together, but now?" Kid sunk down to rest on the step. "This may be more than even I can handle. I never even gave this a second's thought." He was weary and it showed.

Jimmy would not be deterred. "Kid, the most important thing to remember is that it could be your baby, not his."

"How are we gonna know? We were together while we were in St. Joe, but that was only a day before.before.you know what I'm tryin' to say. With one day there's no way to tell! Even if we wait until the baby's born we might never know. The bastard's my father, we may not look so much alike now, but I'm sure we did once and we'd never know with the baby."

Looking down at his friend Jimmy wasn't sure he wanted to hear what the Kid was saying. "Do you mean you wouldn't help her raise it no matter what?"

Kid hesitated before looking up and answering, "I don't rightly know. I should say yes, but this is so hard."

"Harder on her than us, Kid, but we ain't gonna know anything until she sees the doc. Will you talk to her?"

Kid knew Jimmy was right, but needed some time before he was ready to face Lou. He had to be strong and convincing without letting any doubt show through. Standing up, he headed for the stairs to his room over the office. "Tell Rachel I'll be there by breakfast."

Lou wasn't sure why she finally relented and agreed to go to the doctor. It could have been for the Kid, his desperate pleas and tearful blue eyes nearly enough to push her over the edge, even if she was still mad at him. Or maybe it was for Rachel, the friend who'd been there for her since the moment she was freed from hell and would stay with her through it all. Maybe it was for Jimmy and Buck, friends who had been so understanding of her uneasiness that they would ride to St. Joe to bring the kindly Dr. Bailey to Rock Creek for her. Or maybe it was for Teaspoon and his warm fatherly ways as he'd hugged her and told her they would help her and care for her always. Or maybe it was for herself - so she would know once and for all what she was up against.

Chapter 15