It was almost the third week in January by the time Teaspoon and Rachel rolled back into Rock Creek. Driving directly to Rachel's house, they were surprised to find no one home.

"It's too quiet."

"Now don't go worryin' that pretty little head of yours," Teaspoon teased. The couple had grown closer during their lengthy trip and he was as smitten as a schoolboy in love.

"Be serious, Teaspoon!" she scolded him while swatting at his wandering hands. "There's no sign of the children. No Lou. Nothing. What if they left? She wouldn't do that, would she? Where would they go?"

"Rachel, the children are likely with their friends, enjoying the last days before you start the school again. As for Lou, maybe she's at Charlotte's."

"But they weren't talkin' when we left."

"A lot can change in a month. You know that."

She smiled shyly, nodded in agreement and stepped into Teaspoon's inviting arms. "You're right, maybe it's a good thing that she's not here. I'm only worried that maybe something happened to her or the baby."

"If that were the case, you'd of known. We weren't in another country, just Kansas, for pete's sake. They would've sent for us if there was trouble. Why don't we go into town and check on Jimmy and Buck, see what mess they've made of my office and ask if they know where Lou is. That okay?"

"As much as I never want to ride in another buckboard again, I do need to go with you. I won't rest until I know she's okay."

Entering the Marshal's office, the couple was surprised to find Jimmy the only adult present. Jeremiah sat with him at the checkerboard while Teresa and one of her school friends played with their dolls on the floor.

"Jimmy? Startin' a babysittin' business you ain't told us about?"

Looking up as the front door was pushed wide, Jimmy's pleasure at seeing his friends was evident. "Teaspoon! Rachel!" He leapt up to greet them. "When did you get back into town?"

"Just now," answered Rachel. "There's no one at the house, Jimmy." She kept her voice low to keep from alarming the children.

Jimmy tried to hide his amusement, but failed as playfulness lit his eyes. "I can see you're worried, but there's no need for it."

Rachel had already started to get herself so worked up that she didn't see Jimmy's smile. "Where's Louise? Why are Teresa and Jeremiah here?"

Teaspoon caught Jimmy's mood and smiled back conspiratorially over Rachel's head. He could tell that his young protégé had some sort of good news, but was enjoying toying with Rachel. "Let the boy talk," he scoffed at her. "I'm sure he'll explain what he can."

"I've got a fresh pot of coffee over here. Care for some?" He reached for two more cups when they both nodded their heads. He waited while Rachel went to say hello to Teresa and Jeremiah then poured her cup as she settled in next to Teaspoon. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted movement at the checkerboard. "Jeremiah McCloud, I can see you movin' those pieces! Let 'em be and we'll finish that game."

Jeremiah turned to scowl at Jimmy with a face that was distinctly a McCloud trait. "Well, you look like you're talkin', not playin', so can I go see if Gregory's done with his chores?"

"Sure," Jimmy agreed, "but you can't be gone long." He knew how hard it was to sit still when you were thirteen. Turning back to Rachel and Teaspoon, Jimmy shook his head. "That boy's impossible."

"Sounds like someone I know," chuckled Teaspoon. "Now, you care to tell us how you ended up in charge of them today?"

"Let's put it this way, you missed a lot while you were away."

"How's that possible?" sighed Rachel. "Nothing ever happens around here lately." She was getting noticeably aggravated with Jimmy's evasive storytelling.

"Son, you'd better spill that can of beans you're holding back on us or I can't promise that this woman here won't let loose on you." Teaspoons smile was joking, but his words were serious. He too was losing his patience.

"It happened at Christmas, while we were all away. We should've known to leave 'em be instead of tryin' to push 'em together ourselves."

The sentence hung in the air while Rachel and Teaspoon digested it. "Are you sayin' that Kid and Lou are together again?" Rachel was so excited she was clapping her hands together like a little child.

Jimmy knew his next bit of information would be the real shocker. "They're not exactly.together. They're courtin'."

"Courting?" questioned Rachel, a skeptical look on her face.

"There an echo in here, Teaspoon?" joked Jimmy. "I said courtin'. Now it's more Kid than Lou, mind you, but she's comin' around to the idea."

"But I don't understand."

Teaspoon patted Rachel's knee. "What's to understand when it comes to love? He still bunkin' upstairs?" Teaspoon raised his thumb and motioned at the ceiling to indicate the room overhead.

"Yep, they're doin' it proper like. Kid's insisting on it, well at least for now," laughed Jimmy knowingly. "You should see him, he's all starry eyed like a fool in love."

"And Louise?" Rachel was concerned that maybe her young friend was playing with the Kid's heart for the wrong reasons. "Is she okay with this and the baby and everything else?"

"I can't speak for her, Rachel, but from what I've seen she's more than okay with it. I think she's even beginning to like it."

"Seems strange that two married people are courtin', but then again those two ain't never been normal." Teaspoon sipped his hot brew slowly.

"Well, that's the real kicker. They ain't married anymore."

"What!" Rachel and Teaspoon exclaimed in unison as they both nearly spit out their coffee.

"Keep your voices down," chided Jimmy. "Now you got Teresa and little Christine Hooper watching us." He got up to check on the girls and after whispering into Teresa's ear and dipping into his pocket, he sent them from the office full of grins and giggles. Settling back into his chair, he continued. "Teresa doesn't really know or understand what's going on and I don't think Jeremiah knows much either, so I ain't telling 'em anything, but it seems that lawyer Lou hired dropped off the final notice of the divorce on Christmas Eve. They ain't married anymore."

"That's pure craziness! I've got to talk some sense into that young woman!"

"See Rachel, that's the thing, you don't. Kid took matters into his own hands and that's why they're courtin'. He told me he intends to marry her again. He just ain't told her yet."

Rachel and Teaspoon both visibly relaxed with the news.

"So if they're courtin', where are they now?" asked Rachel.

"Takin' a walk 'round town."

"A walk?"

"Yep, a nice leisurely walk. Apparently exercise was in some note the doc from St. Joe gave Lou and Kid's makin' sure she follows the instructions."

"Well, I'll be," muttered Teaspoon as he watched Kid and Lou stroll past the front of the office talking and smiling like any other young couple. Taking Rachel's hand in his, there was nothing more to do than enjoy the view.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you, Louise?" Rachel watched as Lou buttoned her coat against the cool early February morning.

"No, really, it's okay. Kid's coming for me and he's gonna stay with me. Besides you have to get to the school." Lou was nervous about her visit with Dr. Bailey, but was looking forward to having the Kid take her.

Rachel tried to hide her smile. "You've been seein' a lot of each other lately."

Lou paused with her hand on the doorknob. She and Kid had been seeing a lot of each other in the weeks since Christmas, but until Rachel pointed it out, she hadn't given much thought to it. "Do you think that's bad?" she asked nervously.

"Oh, sweetheart, goodness no!" Rachel pulled Lou into a motherly hug. "I think it's wonderful. We all do. I was just making an observation." Letting Lou out of the hug she held onto her hands. "The most important thing is whether you think it's bad or not."

Lou removed herself from Rachel's hold and started to pace the small entrance way. "I don't think it's bad, but it sure does seem strange. I guess it's just that we're doing things backwards like. You know, before we couldn't take long walks through town or have dinner at the restaurant. Well, not here in Rock Creek at least. And Kid couldn't give me flowers like he does now or any of the sweet things he does and I guess the hardest part is getting used to all that."

"Have you?"

Lou looked up and grinned guiltily. "I think I have. Sometimes it's a bit too much, but I certainly like feelin' so special."

"Louise, he always thought you were special. Why do you think it drove him crazy every time you took a run?"

"I know that, but before he was never good at tellin' me and that's all he does now. It's different. I know he's doing it mostly to make me forget that Wicks is his father."

"That's not the only reason, Louise. That boy is doing it because he loves you."

Lou dropped her head again to look at her toes. "I know that's the reason too. That's why I'm tryin' hard to forget. I don't know if it'll ever go away. At least not what he did to me, but I think I'm handlin' the fact that they are relations well enough. Kid said something to me the other day that I ain't been able to get out of my head. He said, 'You can't choose your family, the people you're born to, you just deal with the hand your given, but you can choose your friends and the people you make into your family as a grown-up, and I chose you, Lou. I chose Jimmy and Buck, Cody, Teaspoon, Rachel and everyone else we have in our lives now, and that's all that matters to me. It's all that should matter to you.' I about melted when he said that, Rachel."

"When did the Kid go and get so grown up on us?" Rachel reached out and took Lou's hand in hers, squeezing it gently before continuing. "He's right you know, we chose each other and that should be all that matters."

Hearing Kid's footsteps on the porch, Lou reached for the door. "That's what I'm workin' on."

They were quiet on the way home, each so lost in their own thoughts, that while Kid gave no thought to taking her hand in his, Lou nearly stopped breathing when he did. It was the first time he'd actually touched her since the kiss on Christmas morning and every muscle in her body tensed up. She didn't want to take her hand away and upset him, but at the same time she was uncomfortable with the physical contact.

Kid finally noticed Lou's changed behavior and stopped walking. "You okay, Lou? You need to go back to the doc's?" He knew the doctor had given her a clean bill of health and couldn't understand why she suddenly looked so pale. "Lou? Talk to me."

Shrugging her shoulders, Lou had nothing to say. She couldn't explain the emotions running through her and dropped her eyes from his searching ones.

Following Lou's line of sight, Kid looked down at their hands. He hadn't even noticed he'd taken her hand; it just seemed natural to want to hold it while they strolled back to Rachel's house. Holding their entwined hands up he asked, "Is this what's bothering you?"

Lou closed her eyes before answering with a tight nod. When Kid dropped his hold she immediately opened them. Seeing his hurt, she was sorry she'd said anything. "It's not that I didn't want you to, Kid. It's just.it's been a long time since you've touched me, since I've touched anyone, and it sort of felt strange."

"God, Lou, I didn't even think about it, I just took your hand. I don't want to have to think about things like that. I want to be able to hold your hand or hold you without scaring you out of your skin. Can I do that, Lou? Will you ever let me do that?"

Looking around at the townspeople passing by, Lou felt like everyone was staring at them. "Can we talk about this at the house? I'd rather not make a spectacle of ourselves."

"Fine." Kid was frustrated and his tone was curt. "We're certainly managing to ruin a perfectly nice day."

Starting for the end of the street, Lou spoke quietly. "It's not ruined, Kid. We just need to talk about some things. Things we've been avoidin' while we pretend what we're doin' is normal."

"What we're doin' is normal!"

"Keep your voice down, please. I don't need every busybody in Rock Creek to know our business."

"Lou, you can't seriously think they don't know something's goin' on here, do you? I mean I sleep at Teaspoon's office, we ain't wearin' our rings and that lawyer Overton who divorced us has a mouth as big as any lady I've ever met."

She didn't come back at him with a snappy retort because she knew he was right. Yet, at the same time she wanted to argue with him. They'd always argued - it was a part of them. Suddenly, for the first time in weeks, she felt like herself, like the Lou of old, instead of the dignified lady they were trying to pretend she was and she was ready to battle. "Well it sure ain't helpin' with you always over here with flowers and candy and trinkets like a love struck puppy!"

"Are you sayin' you don't like it? I told you I was gonna court you. That's what men do when they court."

"Kid, it just ain't us."

"You mean you want me to stop? I won't."

Reaching the house, Lou walked onto the porch and took a seat in the swing. "Sit here with me?" She waited until he was seated before continuing in a softer voice. "I don't mean I want you to stop, in a way I like the courtin', but at the same time, I know it's not real."

"But it is real, Lou. I want you to have all these things."

"I know you do and I sorta like havin' them, but I guess not all the time. Rachel and I were talking this morning and I said I was getting used to it, but I'm not sure I am. I didn't fall in love with you the first time because you brought me flowers or chocolates. I fell in love with you because we talked and we argued and we laughed and loved and we spent time together doing things. You treated me like a lady, but understood after a while that I was my own person, not like the other girls. I guess what I'm tryin' to say is that's the way I'd like you to court me."

"I don't understand. That's not how it works."

"Who said it had to make sense to anyone but us? We did it our own way before and it would have been fine the first time if." Her voice trailed off. They'd managed to avoid talking about St. Joe for so long she wasn't sure she wanted to bring it up now.

Her words rang true and Kid began to understand what she wanted from him. "I can do it differently, Lou, but we should talk about what happened some. If we don't it will always be between us." He knew if they left it unmentioned they could spend all the time getting reacquainted they wanted, but there would never be any progress in the physical aspect of their relationship. It wouldn't work if they mended only a part of the marriage.

"I know that. I just don't like thinking about it when I'm with you. It's easier if I don't, then I can forget."

"But if we don't, then every time I go to hold your hand or if I try to kiss you, you'll think I'm him and I'm not."

Lou was quiet for several minutes, letting the Kid's words turn over in her mind. Making a conscious effort to start across the bridge that separated them, she reached out for his hand. "I know you're not him and it's taken me a while to separate that in my head. I know I was cruel to you when I said all that stuff, Kid. I was so hurt both in my body and in my mind that I said it anyway. I guess I wanted to hurt you as much as I was hurting."

"You did a pretty good job of it."

The pain in Kid's voice was clear and Lou took no pride in her success. "I know that and I'm still not sure why you want me back so much after all I said."

Turning to sit sideways in the swing, he took her other hand. When she shifted to face him he lowered his forehead to hers. "I think you know why," he whispered huskily. "I love you and I don't think I could survive without you in my life."

"Kid."

"Lou, let me talk. I know that everything you said to me was in anger, but in a way I felt like it was true, like I let you down. I know there's no way I could have known what he did to you as a little girl and that he was the man who had you when you disappeared in St. Joe, but I feel like I should've known. He was a terrible man right from the start of my life and it shouldn't have surprised me what he was capable of, but you have to know that I have lived my life from the very beginning to not be like him. I'll never be like him. I'll never hurt you or our children or run out on you like he did to us. He gave me life, Lou, and that's all. I swear to you he's not a part of me."

Shifting her head, Lou could see the tears that were forming in Kid's eyes. She'd always known that his childhood was equally as terrible as hers, but she hadn't given any thought to the fact that for her it was easier to forget. She wasn't trying to become a different person because of it like he was. She realized he spoke the truth. The man in front of her and the man who'd tried to destroy her were nothing alike. The man who held her heart as gently as he now held her hands was a man of honor, someone she was proud of and someone she would be proud to have as the father of her child. The burst of knowledge was like a tremendous weight taken off her shoulders and tenderly she released his hands to reach up and wipe away his tears. "I know that, Kid. I think I've always known it, I just wasn't ready to realize it."

"Are you saying you'll let me keep courting you?"

The hope in Kid's eyes brought a smile to her lips. "I'll let you keep coming around, how about that?" she teased with a lighter heart.

"And what's gonna happen if I keep comin' around?" he teased back. He was excited to see shades of the old Lou fighting to come through.

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm thinkin' of some things."

"You are, are you? Are they things proper folk do?" He raised one of her hands to his lips and placed a soft kiss on it.

Despite her reservations, Lou felt a blush rising from her neck to the roots of her hair. "I don't know what proper folk do, Kid. We never were that good at bein' proper." Thoughts of their early days together danced in her head.

He carefully pulled her into an embrace and when she didn't squirm or try to get away, he spoke softly into her ear, "That's good to know, Lou. That's good to know."

Chapter 18