CHAPTER TWELVE

"Jimmy, stop."

"Hmm? What?"

"Jimmy! If you keep pawin' it with your dirty, sweaty hands, by the time we get to New York we ain't even gonna be able to read it anymore!" Lou snatched the letter from Jimmy. "Gimme that," she said in exasperation.

Jimmy didn't reply. He didn't need the letter anyway; he'd read it so many times that he nearly had it memorized now.

'Dear Lou, I have not heard from you since my letter of October. I can only hope that it is the winter weather that has slowed your response down, and that something has not gone wrong. I think of you all every day, especially you. And, if I were to be honest, especially Jimmy. New York is exciting and I have made a new life here, but nothing to equal the happiness I found out west when I was staying at Rock Creek. Perhaps I will be able to come visit sometime this year, after Bart's temper is no longer a threat. Please write, Lou, and let me know all is well.'

Love,

Jack

Now Lou had both letters in her hands: the first letter, longer than the second, was also far more damaged. Jack's October letter had arrived in early February, crumpled, ripped at the edges, stained with water, and delivered with Tompkins' profuse apologies; it had been sitting in a forgotten slot since the fall.

Within moments of reading the letter, Lou and Jimmy began packing and heading out to the stables to saddle their horses. They barely stopped to ask Teaspoon for permission, and when they did, it was more as an afterthought. Lou remembered thinking, 'Oh, maybe we should tell Teaspoon we're going to New York', but she didn't recall that it was a terribly important idea to her at the time.Luckily Teaspoon happened to be in the stables at the time, or he would have found himself sitting down to supper a couple riders short.

Now Lou sneaked sideways glances at Jimmy as the train puffed its way to New York. They were in the passenger car, and had been for nearly four days, but instead of looking exhausted and anxious, as Lou knew she herself did, he had been sitting in the same upright position for almost the entire journey. His back was ramrod straight, his hands clasped in his lap, looking for all the world like a little boy trying to be patient during a preacher's sermon. His jaw and mouth were set in equally firm, straight lines, his eyes narrowed.

'Poor Jimmy,' Lou thought pitingly. She reached over and drew both his hands into hers and clutched them in a surge of affection. He didn't look at her. His eyes slid sideways to stare out the window at the scenery slipping by them in a blur. 'Jimmy, I understand,' she thought. 'I really do.'

Lou had never been further east than St Joe, and she was finding New England breathtaking in its early spring splendor. She had spent the past winter worrying herself sick over Jack; it was nice to be able to concentrate on scenery other than the Sweetwater grounds.

Rachel's prediction that the Pony Express would be ending by the spring wasn't entirely unfounded. Though the mail runs continued with the same frequency as before, the telegraph was nosing its way slowly west, and it was clear that by year's end they would be out of a job, if not sooner.

When Jack's letters arrived together, the relief was almost tangible. Worry and suspense had built up to such a frenzy that Lou and Jimmy were nearly impossible to live with. Jack was well, or had been in February, when she'd written the second letter, and that made all the difference in the world. Noah had urged Lou to write Jack a letter, but Lou would have none of it. She was intent on finding Jack herself and hauling her back to Sweetwater, tied down to the wagon buckboards if necessary, and Jimmy supported her one hundred per cent. There was no talking to either of them, and together they were a force to be reckoned with. The others knew there was no hope of reasoning with them the moment Teaspoon took their side, and when Rachel packed them food and stitched Lou a new shirt for the journey, they threw their hands up in defeat and said goodbye to their friends. For once the Kid stepped back and said nothing as Lou readied herself to leave. He merely held her tightly and whispered, "Bring her back safe to Jimmy, and bring yourself back safe to me." That was all, but it was enough to choke Lou up and cause tears to wash in her eyes.

The manly yet understanding handshake that Jimmy and the Kid shared did Teaspoon's heart a world of good. One of his greatest fears was always that these boys would someday leave each other with misunderstanding between them. Love could tear a friendship apart, but Jimmy's love for Jack seemed to be rebuilding the foundation.

The weeks of travel passed by in a blur, and Lou could hardly tell one small railroad town from the next. She wished she had her horse, but riding a horse in this dress would have been less than ideal circumstances. She smoothed her hand down over the pretty, pale blue skirt. There was nothing like the freedom of a pair of breeches, but it sure felt nice to dress up once in a while. It suddenly struck her that when she and the Kid finally married, it might be expected for her to give up pants altogether and be a proper wife. She wasn't sure she entirely liked that idea.

"Jimmy?" she said suddenly. They were sitting in a small cafe in Landingham, a town about a hundred miles outside of New York City. Jimmy was picking at his food, but Lou was eating her steak with especial relish.

"Hmmm?" He seemed more distracted these days than she'd ever seen him.

She had been intending to ask him what he thought about her chances of wearing pants after she and the Kid got married, but instead another thought, one she'd meant to keep quiet about, burst forth and she asked, "Jimmy, are you goin' to ask Jack to marry you?"

He stared at her. "Good God, Lou, whatever put that idea into your head?"

"Don't pretend I'm imaginin' things." Lou rolled her brown eyes. "I know what I see, Jimmy." When he snorted, she persisted, "Jimmy, I know you. I can read you like a book."

"Lou, you're startin' to sound like Rachel."

"Oh, so what if I am? You're my friend and Jack's my friend, and I want to know. You're in love with her, aren't you?"

"Lou, stop."

"No, I will not stop. You've been just as horrible this past winter as I have, and everyone knows the reason why: we're both worried sick. Only I'm willin' to admit it, and you're not."

"Who says I'm not willin' to admit it? I'm worried, all right? There. I said it."

"Now say why."

"What?!"

"Now say why you're worried."

"Jesus..."

"Just tell me, Jimmy. I didn't travel hundreds of miles with a liar as my companion. Tell me the truth."

"I'm worried because..."

"Because...?" she prompted.

He narrowed his eyes in fury. "Because she's our friend and somethin' bad coulda happened to her."

"James Hickok, I am goin' to lose my temper in about five seconds, and if you don't think a lady in a nice dress can cause a scene in a fancy cafe, you've got another think comin'. Now, I've listened to your sighs and I've watched your mopin', and I've never said a word. Have I ever said a word? No. Now you tell me the truth."

There was a long silence when Lou was sure it could go either way: he could deny it or admit it, but no matter what she would know the truth. She just wanted to hear it from Jimmy finally. The waiter came and took their plates away, and Lou and Jimmy stared at each other. "All right," Jimmy said quietly. "All right, Lou. I love Jack. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Don't act like you're just sayin' it because I want you to say it."

"I'm not. I'm sayin' it because you asked me to, yes, but it's the truth, and I mean it."

"That's all I wanted." But her heart broke for the sadness in his eyes.

They took a walk that afternoon before going back to the rail station. In the morning they would make the final leg of the journey and be in New York City. Lou walked with her hand tucked in Jimmy's arm. They circled the town and glided in and out of a few shops, pretending for a moment that they were here for the fun of it.

Lou sat on the bench outside the rail station, relaxing, while Jimmy went in to buy the tickets. She hummed to herself and used the fan she had just bought to cool herself in the warm afternoon. She suddenly had a very good feeling, and knew without a doubt that they would find Jack, even in New York City.

Jimmy loosened his collar and pulled his shirt away from his chest. Damn, it was hot in that little room, and only April. He was directly behind a young woman in a pale pink dress, and in front of her was a portly businessmen buying five tickets for himself and his family, who stood in the corner, looking miserable in the heat. The girl in front of him had dark brown curls plastered to the back of her bare neck, and she swatted at a fly that buzzed around her head. She smelled nice, like flowers and springtime.

The man in front of them left, and then the girl stepped forward. Jimmy stepped a little closer to her, inhaling her scent just a little more deeply. When she spoke, her accent was familiar, her voice soft and low, "A one-way ticket to New York City, please, on the first available train."

Jimmy's heartbeat accelerated. That voice...that accent. Without thinking he put one hand on the girl's shoulder and spun her around. When the dark blue eyes cleared of sudden shock, they widened in recognition, and Jimmy found himself staring at Jack.


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