No such luck. "Mornin', sunshine," Lou called out cheerily. "Get on out of bed and tell me about your evenin'."

Jack flinched. She heard Lou walking toward her, and suddenly felt the gentle pressure of her weight next to her on the bed. Lou tugged the covers away from Jack's tight hold, and beamed down with a playful grin. "Come on, now, you know I want to hear all about it. You came in late, that must be a good sign." Her eyes were dancing with delight.

The blank expression on Jack's face stilled her good mood. "Jack? What is it?"

"Everything -- everything went completely wrong, Lou," Jack burst out in a controlled sob. She bit her lip, unwilling to let go and lose composure altogether.

Lou recognized the self-control Jack was imposing upon herself unnecessarily and placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. It seemed to be the last straw for Jack. Tears began slipping down her pale face, and she relayed last night's events in a low voice. When she was finished, Lou sat in silence.

"I can't believe you did that, Jack," she said finally.

Jack stared at her, eyes wide. "Lou, I --"

"It just doesn't make a lick of sense! You told me last night you love Jimmy. I know he loves you. Everything was perfect. Why did you run away?"

Jack's eyes filled up again. "I don't know," she whispered. "I was just scared, I suppose."

"Of what? Of Jimmy?"

"Scared that he didn't mean it. And I was right, wasn't I? He didn't mean it."

"You don't know that. You don't know his reasons for what he did. Maybe he was hurtin' and he wanted to be with someone who would make him feel better." Knowing Jimmy, this was probably the truth. He had a fragile sense of self when it came right down to it. For all his tough talk and bravery, inside he doubted himself as much as anyone else.

"Oh, it's useless now," Jack sniffed, pulling the covers back over her head. "I've made a mess of it."

"Are you tellin' me you're givin' up?" Lou was incredulous.

"I never even started, Lou!"

"I cannot believe this. Is this the same girl who came to America to find her parents? Is this the same girl who disguised herself as a boy and joined the Pony Express? What's happened to you?"

Jack shot up in bed and exploded, "I am the same girl, Lou! The same stupid girl who left her family to find something she didn't really need or want! The same desperate girl who disguised herself as a boy and joined the Pony Express because she didn't know what else to do, and she was too scared to go home! That's me, Lou. I'm frightened and lonely and thick-headed, and I make the wrong choices! This isn't such a departure from my normal routine as you seem to think."

They stared at each other, eyes wide, and said nothing. Then Lou stood up and looked at Jack, her expression wistful.

"I'm sorry, Lou," Jack whispered.

"There's no need for you to apologize to me. You haven't done me any harm. I'm just disappointed, that's all." Her meaning was obvious. She smiled softly at Jack. "I'll be downstairs, havin' breakfast. I thought I might do a bit of sight-seein' after that. I'll see you later."

She slipped into her jacket, picked up her parasol, gave Jack one last look, and left the room. When she had gone, Jack felt her absence acutely. Lou had not made a move to invite her along, and it pained her. She had disappointed Lou, she knew that. And she would sooner have cut off her right hand than disappointed Lou. But how could she believe that she had hurt Jimmy? She didn't have that kind of power.

Jack sighed again, deeply, and got out of bed, standing before the large vanity mirror on the opposite wall. Her hair had finally grown to a reasonable length, and she was no longer afraid that her parents wouldn't recognize her. The thick black waves had grown just past her chin. Her complexion seemed paler than usual. She ran a hand through hair and stuck her tongue out at her reflection. "Bloody, bloody, bloody," she cursed freely. "You've made a great, bloody mess of your life, Jill, or Jack, or whoever you are. I don't even know you anymore."

She washed and dressed, and just as she was about to leave the room, there was a knock at the door. Jimmy was on the other side. He was obviously startled to see Jack and that she was alone. "Lou's not here?"

"No, she left a while ago." Jack steadied her shaking voice.

He frowned. "Do you know where she went?"

"Down to breakfast, and then sight-seeing," she replied. She thought, 'Oh, Jimmy, I'm sorry.'

"And you didn't go with her?"

"She didn't invite me."

That surprised him. "You mean you let her go out alone in a big city like this?"

Jack's temper flared. "She didn't exactly ask for my permission, Jimmy."

"You shouldn't have let her go, Jack, that was irresponsible. Lou's a country girl. Anything could happen to her in a city this size!"

"You underestimate Lou. She can handle herself quite well, and there's no guarantee that if anything were to happen to her I could help."

"If anything happens to her...I'd never forgive myself. The Kid sure as hell wouldn't forgive me, either."

Jack winced. Always the concern for Lou above all others, always the relentless pursuit to protect Lou at any cost. She adored Lou, and would fight to protect her if Lou ever needed her, but she had never had the feeling of being anything as special to Jimmy as Lou was. Perhaps that was the biggest fear of all.

"If she's so precious to you, you should go find her!" exclaimed Jack. "If you don't trust her on her own in this city, then take care of her! But do her a favor and don't treat her like a child. She's a strong, capable woman, for God's sake!"

"I know that," he replied angrily.

But Jack plowed ahead. "And while you're at it, do yourself a favor, Jimmy: don't hold every woman up to this impossible standard that only Lou can match. Any woman worth her salt will feel the comparison and know she'll never measure up. No one could bear that, and you may find yourself a very lonely man in the end. So take my advice and be a little more realistic. All women have feet of clay. Even Lou." She felt childish and small-minded and petty, but she just couldn't bear it. She put her hand to the doorknob. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I should start packing. My boat leaves first thing in the morning."

Jimmy reached out a hand to the door and stopped her as she closed it, wedging his foot in the corner to effectively stop it from shutting altogether. He stared at her. "Is that what you think? You think I compare you to Lou?"

"When did this turn into a conversation about me?"

"The second you brought this up."

"Jimmy, let me close the door."

"All right." He stepped swiftly inside and shut the door behind him. "Don't back away now, Jack, you're the one who brought this up."

She stepped away from him. "I don't care to discuss this."

"I thought up a hundred reasons why you ran away from me last night, but I never thought of this one."

"There were a hundred reasons," she replied indignantly. "This...this just happens to be the biggest."

"And by far the dumbest. Maybe you don't feel the same about me, Jack, or maybe you were scared, I don't know. But if you think I compare you to Lou then you don't understand the first thing about me."

Jack blinked back the tears stinging her eyes. "I guess I don't."

"Look...Jack...I don't set much store by words. I believe that you watch and you learn. Words don't mean much when you make note of a person's actions. But if you need this spelled out for you, then I guess I'm willin' to do that, because I don't want you to leave with any misunderstandin' between us."

Jack drew her breath in sharply. "What are you trying to say, Jimmy?"

"I'm tryin' to say that I don't compare you to anyone. You're Jack and you stand on your own merit as far as I'm concerned. And as far as I'm concerned, other women would do well to compare themselves to you. My feelin's for Lou are the feelin's I have for all my friends. You ain't got nothin' to worry about, Jack...because from the moment I met you you're all that's been on my mind."

"Oh, Jimmy." Jack exhaled at last.

"Is that why you ran from me, Jack?"

She nodded, a tear escaping and finding its way down her cheek. "So many reasons, Jimmy. Fear, most of all."

He waited a moment before asking the next question. The answer could make or break him. "I'm doin' all the talkin' here. Is there anything you'd like to add to the conversation?"

He waited. Jack shook her head. "No," she said, and his heart sank.

"Well, then, I guess --"

To his complete surprise, Jack stood on the tips of her toes and reached up to him, wrapping her arms around him and staring eye to eye. She grinned a beautiful, wide grin, radiating happiness, and he didn't even have to think about it, just smiled back at her delightedly. He cradled her face in his palms, lowering his mouth to hers, and this time she didn't run away. This time she stayed.