Chapter Six Kid paced frantically back and forth as they listened to Lou's screams for hour after hour. Jimmy had left as soon as he got the telegraph, and he, Buck, and Teaspoon were waiting with Kid, worriedly flinching everytime Lou screamed. **************************************************** Kid paused outside the bedroom door to get control over his emotions. He had precious little time left with Lou, and he didn't want to waste it crying. There would be time enough for that later. He wanted his last moments with Lou to be happy ones.
Suddenly, the screaming ceased, and after a minute of silence--a minute which seemed longer than all the hours of screaming--a baby's cry could be heard.
Kid sighed in relief, and the others slapped him on the back in congratulations, when Rachel came downstairs, crying.
"Rachel, what is it?" Their joy turned to fear as Kid asked the dreaded question.
"You have a beautiful daughter," she tried to smile. "She's very small, and Dr. Taylor says we'll have to watch her very carefully since she's a month early, but he's confident that she'll be fine."
"What about Lou?" Kid could tell there was something Rachel wasn't telling him.
"She was too weak Kid, and the birth was so hard on her. The doctor is doing what he can, but she's not gonna make it. I'm so sorry," Rachel hugged Kid as tears poured down her face.
"Can I see her?" Kid whispered, unashamed of his own tears.
"Doc's doing all he can to make her comfortable, but I know she wants you there," Rachel told him. Kid nodded and walked up the stairs, oblivious to the others.
"I just can't believe this," Jimmy held Rachel tightly as they both wept. They all looked so lost. Lou had always been the strongest of them all. Lou, who went against the odds; Lou, who was in many ways the bond that held them all together; and now they would have to learn to live without her. Jimmy wanted nothing more than to get on his horse and just ride with no idea of where he was going; but he knew Kid would need him. Running away was not an option.
Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and went in. The doctor was wiping Lou's forehead with a cool, wet cloth, which he handed to Kid. "Here," he said. "I'll let you two spend some time together." He moved to the cradle to care for the baby. This was what he had trained for, what years of experience had taught him. It was critical not to let your emotions get in the way of caring for your patients, or you might make a mistake. Life and death were everyday occurrences, things you learned to harden yourself to, or you would become too overwhelmed. He had always prided himself on this, but now his heart went out to the couple before him. They were so much in love, and it wasn't fair. Louise should live a long life and have many babies with Kid. They deserved that; they deserved to grow old together, and it was being ripped from them. He shook his head in sorrow, wondering how life could be so unfair.
"Lou, honey," Kid's voice broke.
"Kid, don't cry, please," Lou reached up to touch his face. She looked toward the doctor. "I want to hold my daughter."
Dr. Taylor brought the baby to her, placing her in her arms.
"Look at her Kid. She's so perfect."
"She looks like her mother," Kid tried to smile. "What are we going to name her?"
"Noelle," Lou smiled tenderly. "She's our Christmas miracle."
Kid swallowed his tears. He had forgotten it was Christmas Eve; a day that was supposed to hold so much joy. "We'll call her Noelle Louise, after the most beautiful woman I've ever met."
"Who could that be?"
"Her name is Louise Macloud, and she's the love of my life." Kid was finding it harder and harder to hold back his tears as he saw Lou slipping away. He took the baby into his arms and was amazed at the joy and love that washed over him, even while he felt utter despair.
"She's beautiful, isn't she," he smiled.
"She has your eyes," Lou whispered.
"And she has your cute little nose, and I can already see she's going to have your hair," Kid couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "Louise, my love. My life. How am I ever going to live without you? Noelle needs us both. How am I going to raise her without you. You're supposed to be there to see her grow up. We're supposed to do this together."
"Kid, you are going to be a wonderful father," Lou reached up to wipe away his tears. "I can't explain why things happen the way they do, but I'm not afraid. Kid, we've had the most precious time together. I love you, I love our daughter; and I don't regret anything."
"I love you so much, Lou, darling." Kid handed Noelle to the doctor and wrapped his arms around Lou.
"Kid," Lou's voice was barely strong enough to be heard, and Kid realized she didn't have much longer. "Kid, promise me something."
"Anything," Kid kissed her cheek.
"Promise me that you will cherish the memories we've made together, but you will move on with your life," Lou knew Kid well enough to know that if he allowed it, he would become bitter at what life had brought them. "Our daughter needs you so much now."
"I promise," Kid knew Lou had just given him her blessing to move on with his life. "And I promise you that Noelle will grow up knowing her mother, and knowing what an incredible woman she is, and how much she loved her."
Lou struggled to take a breath, and Kid pulled her closer, knowing this was the end. "Tell Rachel and Teaspoon, and the boys that I love them. And watch out for Jimmy," Kid nodded, unable to speak. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so much he would never get to tell her.
"I've always loved you," she whispered, taking one last breath. Kid let the tears fall freely as he held her tightly, realizing it was all over.
"I'm so sorry Kid," Dr. Taylor said, knowing how trite it sounded. "I'll let the others know." He quietly left the room, leaving the heartbroken man to mourn the loss of one life, even as he celebrated the beginning of another.
Chapter Seven
Chapter Five