Chapter Two
The day of Kid's funeral dawned bright and clear. It was Kid's favorite kind of day; a bright blue sky with barely a cloud in it. The air was cool and crisp, and the sun was shining.
Lou turned away from the window and mechanically went through the motions of dressing. It just was not right that Kid was not here to share this lovely day - probably the last nice day they would have until spring - with her. Instead, she would be burying him today. She couldn't help but feel that the weather should be dark and gloomy, to match the state of her emotions.
She spotted one of Kid's shirts on the bed and automatically moved toward it. She had not been able to sleep in their bed since it happened, spending her nights instead in the rocking chair which sat in the corner of the room. The rocking chair was the only piece of furniture they had brought with them from Virginia. Kid had lovingly hand carved it, spending hours upon hours working on it so he could surprise her with it. Lou was expecting their first child, and Kid was almost beside himself with excitement. Before the chair was finished though, Lou had miscarried, and the doctor said she would never be able to have another. The young couple had been devastated. Lou had withdrawn, spending most of her days in bed, barely eating and refusing to talk to Kid. Kid, for his part, sought solace in his craftsmanship. Something drove him to finish the chair, even though he no longer planned to give it to Lou. Their marriage was in serious danger until one day, about a month after the miscarriage, Lou had stumbled upon Kid in the barn, sanding the exquisite chair. The sight had snapped her out of her shell, and they had grieved together for the first time. Lou had insisted Kid put the chair in their bedroom, and they had both drawn comfort from it as they worked through the pain. And so it was that Lou had found herself drawn to it the past two nights, as she faced the biggest loss of her life.
Picking up Kid's shirt, she moved to the rocking chair and sat down. Holding the blue fabric to her nose, she breathed in his scent. She could not believe that it was only two mornings ago that she had kissed Kid goodbye for the last time. How could she go on without him?
***
The entire town gathered for the funeral. In a town like Abilene, funerals were an everyday occurance and did not command much attention, but this one was different. Many turned out just to witness the spectacle. The story of Wild Bill's fatal mistake had spread like wild fire, and many curious eyes watched the funeral service. Reporters were there in abundance also, taking notes and interviewing others in attendence. But many of the people who showed up were there out of love and respect for Kid. Though he had only been in town a short time, Kid had earned the respect of every law abiding citizen in town; and even that of some who were often on the wrong side of the law. While some of the deputies were hot headed, often rushing to judgements, Kid had become known for his habit of learning the whole situation and appealing to justice for all concerned.
"Excuse me, ma'am," one of the reporters approached Lou seconds after the preacher said the final amen. "May I speak to you for a moment?"
"Get out of here," the doctor quickly moved to Lou's side as other reporters made a beeline for her. "Didn't your mothers teach you any manners? Leave Mrs. Williams alone for God's sake." He turned gentle eyes toward Lou. "Ma'am, my wife has instructed me to bring you home for dinner."
"Thank you, really, but I would rather stay here," Lou replied quietly, her eyes focused on the men who were shoveling dirt into Kid's grave. She could not leave just yet, could not face the finality of that action.
"Louise," the doctor spoke firmly. "I can tell you haven't been getting the proper rest and nutrition in the last few days, and as your doctor, I am afraid I must insist that you come with me. These reporters will be hanging around here for a while anyway. If you come with me, and eat, and then get some rest, I'll walk you back here later this evening and fend off any reporters still here myself."
Lou nodded, knowing she could not win the argument. She allowed the doctor to lead her out of the cemetary, away from the curious stares of the onlookers.
***
Two gray eyes followed Lou's back as she walked toward the doctor's house. The eyes reflected a sorrow that penetrated into the very soul of their owner.
Jimmy stood on a hill beyond the cemetary, shielded from the view of those below him by a stand of trees. He watched the funeral, thankful that Lou's back was to him so he could not see her face. He could not bear to see her face, knowing that she would look at him with the same expression she had when she first heard the whole story.
"Lou," he released her from his hold.
"I have to go to him, Jimmy," Lou turned toward the door. "I have to see for myself."
"Lou, wait," Jimmy held her back. "Lou," he paused, gathering the strength to continue; to tell her the truth. "Lou, it's all my fault." He told her the whole story, claiming all the blame. And when he finished, she just stared at him, dispair flooding her eyes, piercing through him like a knife, until she turned and ran from the house. He had not followed her, knowing she was going to see Kid; and he just could not face what he had done. That was the last time he had talked to her.
The day after the shooting, there was an investigation, but there were plenty of witnesses to testify that Jimmy shot in self-defense, and no charges were pressed. As soon as the results of the investigation were given, Jimmy handed in his badge, packed his things, and left town.
That had been last night. He intended to get as far away from Abilene as he could, but he found himself unable to leave without saying goodbye to his best friend. So he watched the funeral from a distance, and he watched as Lou and the doctor came back in the late afternoon, the doctor holding the reporters back so Lou could have some time alone with Kid. He watched as they left at sunset, the reporters trickling away soon after, and finally, under the cover of darkness, he made his way to the cemetary and knelt beside Kid's grave.
"Kid," he spoke, the word coming out in a choke. He could not do it. He could not come to Kid seeking forgiveness. There was no forgiveness for what he had done.
Rising, he walked out of the cemetary and up the hill to where his horse was hidden. Mounting, he rode into the darkness, away from Abilene, never looking back.
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