Secrets of the Night
by Lisa R.
Sweetwater Founder’s Day Celebration, October 1873
Coming from the dessert table, her hands laden with sweet treats, Lou looked over toward the large willow tree where her family and friends had set up their picnic. It was an ever-expanding group and spotting Kid in the crowd playing with their fifth daughter, four-month-old Brenna, she couldn’t stop smiling. It was hard to believe the changes the last five years had brought to all of them.
Famous for the paint mares they bred based on Katy’s bloodline, as well as their other champion lines, the PX Ranch had doubled in size and become a major supplier of horses to those moving west and north to settle the uncharted lands of their great country. The satisfaction from seeing their business grow beyond their wildest expectations brought more richness to the partners than all the money they were making. It was a prosperous and comfortable life that the McCloud and Cross families now lived.
They had long ago added the Hunter family as their third partner when Teaspoon finally decided to retire as Marshal. Relinquishing his badge to Deputy Andrew Stevens on the day his daughter, Molly Louise, was born in September of 1869, Teaspoon was grateful for the extra time with his family. Now four years old, Molly was doted on by her older brothers and was the apple of her parents’ eyes. She looked more and more like Rachel each passing day and her father feared the day the suitors came calling.
Teaspoon had offered the Marshal position to Jimmy, but he had turned it down with some regret. Although he loved being surrounded by his family and especially all of his nieces and nephews, he finally felt he had overstayed his time in Sweetwater. He left for Abilene, Kansas in November of 1869 to become their new Marshal. They still heard from him occasionally, but the letters were becoming fewer and farther between.
Lou missed her old friend the most during celebrations like these. He should be here, she thought. He loved these picnics. Remembering their last conversation, Lou found she had to fight to keep her tears back. They had said their goodbye the night before he was to leave, knowing it would be easier without a crowd.
She sat at the old table in the bunkhouse and watched him pack. “You know, you don’t have to leave here, Jimmy. This is your home too. I know Kid has asked you to partner up with us.”
“We’ve been over this, Lou. It’s time. I’ve been here years longer than I ever expected to be. It’s time for me to see some more of the country.”
“Don’t go layin’ that malarkey on me, James Hickok! Abilene is someplace you’ve been many times before. I would say havin’ Amanda there helped your decision.”
Jimmy turned and smiled at his old friend. “Never could put one past you, could I?”
Rising from the table, Lou walked to his bunk and sat down, absently folding a shirt. “I’m gonna miss you, Jimmy,” she said without meeting his eyes. Only nearly losing Kid had made her heart ache more than it did now.
He stopped his packing and crouched in front of her. “I’m gonna miss you more, Lou.” For him, this was the worst his heart would ever ache.
They fell into each other’s arms and clung desperately, trying to pour almost ten years of friendship and memories into one last embrace.
“You’ve done great here, Lou. Always remember that.” He needed her to know that the people he hated to leave behind would sustain her now.
“I will.”
“You, Kid, the girls, Jackson, you’re a family now and I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.” His praise meant the world to her. “It hasn’t been easy.”
“I’m sure it hasn’t. I bet it didn’t help any when Juliana was born last month.” Lou had just given birth to her and the Kid’s fourth daughter.
“Actually, the irony didn’t even cross our minds until Jackson said something to us.”
“Jackson?”
“We were sitting in the bedroom about three weeks ago. Kid had just put the older girls to bed when Jackson came in. He’s more at ease with us now, but he still seems shy sometimes. He watched me for a while, and then looking at the baby, he asked if we were sad we didn’t have a boy this time. I think he understood why I was so hesitant around him when he first came to live with us.”
Lou smiled at the memory. “I explained that it didn’t matter if she was a boy or a girl. We loved Juliana just as much as we loved all our children. Then he looked at me with those big blue eyes and said, ‘even me?’”
“What’d you say?” Jimmy tried to hide the slight upturn of his lips, amused by Lou’s words. He’d know it was coming. Jackson had come to him first, out of fear, but Jimmy knew it would be okay because Lou had long ago grown to love Kid’s son.
“What do you think? Of course I told him we loved him too. He looked so relieved, Jimmy. It nearly broke my heart. I think he was afraid that if we had a son, we were going to send him away.”
“He’s been bounced around before, for lesser reasons, mind you. You can see why he’d let his imagination get the best of him.”
“I think it’s a bit of Cody’s theatrics rubbing off each time he stops here, but I think he’s okay now. He even called Kid ‘Pa’ the other day.” Lou could see the changes coming slowly, but Kid had been right. Jackson was thriving as an included member of their family.
“That’s great, Lou. I knew this would all work out for you. I knew it the moment you broke down in my arms at the train depot in Ft. Collins.”
“How’d you know it then?” Lou eyed him curiously.
“You came home out of love.”
“Are you okay, Lou?”
Suddenly realizing that Jenny was talking to her, Lou broke from her daydreams and returned to the celebration at hand. “I’m fine. Just off in the clouds as usual,” she chuckled.
Moving at a quick pace, Jenny pointed back towards the willow tree as she hurried past. “You’d better hurry back with those pies; they’re growing restless.”
“I’m going, I’m going.” She started again towards the picnic, but couldn’t help but turn and watch Jenny walk towards her father’s store with the ‘twin babies’ as her youngest children were often called. They were almost five now, but as the second set of twins in the Cross family, Daniel and Lily would always be known as the ‘twin babies’.
Nearing the assembled group, Lou almost tripped and sent the three desserts flying. Before disaster could strike, a tall, lanky young man grabbed her elbow to steady her and saved the apple pie in the process.
With a quick, “I’ll carry this for you” the pie was gone before Lou could thank her rescuer.
Watching Jackson rush back to the family gathering to share the pie with the other kids, Lou felt a tugging on her heart. She loved to see how at ease he was with everyone now. It had been a long time in coming, but she was proud of the growing they had done together. It was his physical growing that astounded her even more and she was still amazed by how tall he had grown. Today, at sixteen, Jackson looked even more like Kid than he had on the day he’d arrived on their doorstep.
Cradling baby Brenna in one arm and holding Juliana by the hand, Kid came out from the comfort of the shade to greet her. “I see we have a pie-knapper in our midst,” he laughed.
Lou laughed with him as she traded the remaining pies for the children. “I’m not sure he didn’t plant that stone there on purpose just so he could get first dibs.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Kid joked back. “He’s a growing boy.”
She poked at Kid’s stomach as they rejoined their family. “So are some other boys I know.”
“For a woman who I know has eaten a whole one of these before, you sure do a lot of talkin’.”
“That’s when I was pregnant, Kid! You can’t count that.”
Handing off the pies and the younger girls to Mary Emma and Sarah as they reached the tree, Kid friskily pulled Lou into a hug. “It’s okay, Lou. I love you anyway.” He kissed her squarely on the mouth, ignoring the giggles of all the children gathered around them.
“Hey! You two don’t quit it with that and we’ll miss the race,” teased Teaspoon.
“Or they’ll end up with another one of those,” Buck added with a smirk, pointing at the fifth McCloud daughter, Brenna.
Kid and Lou both blushed, but separated. Settling back onto their blanket, they finished their lunch while trying, but failing, to hide the adoring looks that passed between them.
At half past three, everyone gathered on the main street of Sweetwater for the annual Founder’s Day Race.
“Mama, I can see Jackson! He’s in a line!” Four-year-old Juliana exclaimed from atop Kid’s shoulders. “Mary Emma, Sarah, Maddy can you see him?”
Lou grinned up at her daughter as the older girls tried to push to the front of the crowd. They were all anxious to see Jackson ride in the adult’s race for the first time. People had been talking about the race all afternoon. Few expected much out of the young boy, but they were curious to see how his horse would do. He was still riding Midnight, a strong stallion sired by Lou’s horse Lightning, a horse that helped found the PX Ranch.
“Kid, I’m so nervous for him.” Lou clutched her husband’s arm, digging her short nails into his skin.
Trying to rub his arm without sending Juliana tumbling from his shoulders, Kid smiled at his wife, reassuring her. “He’ll be fine, Lou. He’s a good rider. He learned from the best.”
Lou beamed at the compliment. Riding had been their special time together - hers and Jackson’s. What started out purely by accident - one day they bumped into each other while both were riding through the pastures - quickly became a routine. Lou would wait to take her daily ride until the children were home from school and often she and Jackson would spend an hour alone together before supper.
It had been awkward at first, but eventually their mutual love for the land and the animals they bred opened them up to one another. As they talked, Lou shared more of her stories about her days with the Express. Fascinated, Jackson begged to learn to ride like she and Kid and his uncles had. Lou loved nothing more than galloping across the land and teaching him to ride like the wind.
Today’s race would be different. It would be Jackson’s time to shine and Lou was ready for it. They were off at the sound of the pistol and too quickly, the racers were out of sight.
It was several agonizing minutes before Noah and Isaac Cross came rushing back to the group.
“He’s winning!” cheered Noah.
“No one’s even close to him”, added Isaac.
Kid and Lou leaned forward with the rest of the crowd and could see the horses kicking up the dust as they headed back down the main street - Jackson right in the front of the pack.
Jackson and Midnight finished first that day in record time. Climbing onto the stage in front of the bank, he laughed wildly as he accepted his trophy and the crowd called for a speech from their new hero.
“I don’t know why any of you want to hear from the likes of me, but if you insist…” It had been discovered that Jackson was a natural entertainer once he’d shed his early shyness. “I’d like to thank the Mayor and the Ladies Auxiliary for this fine picnic.” No matter what, he remained a southern gentleman. “And I’d like to thank Mr. Duncan for the prize from the bank.” He held his gold coin aloft to the cheers of his school friends.
“He gets this from you,” hissed Lou jokingly to Kid. She’d never admit it, but she was actually proud of Jackson’s wittiness and ease with people.
Kid laughed as the townsmen continued to slap him on the back and shake his hand in congratulations.
“But most of all, I want to thank my family.” Jackson found them in the sea of faces. “To all of my sisters - Mary Emma, Sarah, Maddy, Juliana and Brenna and most importantly, to my parents, Kid and Lou McCloud, this was for you." He sent them a smile and tipped his trophy to them.
There were no words to describe the feeling of pride that surged in Lou’s heart. He had dropped the Lou and Kid and started calling them 'Ma and Pa' around the age of fourteen, but it still choked her up when she heard him say it. Turning to Kid as he set Juliana on the ground, she stepped into his embrace. “Do you know who that wonderful boy is, Kid?”
“Who?”
“That’s our son.” And she meant it. They had raised him together and they had raised him right.
Looking down into his wife’s shimmering eyes, Kid kissed her gently on her lips. “I knew it would all work out, Lou. I had faith that my secrets wouldn’t destroy us.”
“They couldn’t. I couldn’t let them.” Lou stood on her tiptoes to whisper in Kid’s ear. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”
Their familiar banter still brought a smile to Kid’s face. “By God, Mrs. McCloud. I don’t think you have.”
“Well, Mr. McCloud. I love you.” She always had and she always would.
“Have I told you lately how much I love you?” Kid continued their game, brushing his lips close to her ear.
Lou’s voice was thick with emotion. It scared her to think she could have lost him had she made a different choice five years earlier. “By God, Mr. McCloud. I don’t think you have.”
Kid paused before finishing his part. Looking down into Lou’s radiant face as she gave him a smile that rivaled the sun, he knew there were no words he’d ever meant more. “Well, Mrs. McCloud. I love you.”
Surrounded by the jubilant crowd, Lou and Kid kissed. This was what true love was all about and this would be the kind of moment they would cherish forever.