Chapter V
"Kid..." she breathed, just before she broke into a run.
The rider was galloping toward her. Kid was galloping toward her. It almost looked dangerous, this wild woman in men's clothes, tearing across the rock and dirt and uneven terrain, heading straight into the path of a powerful horse ridden by a man who looked like he might just lose sight of the woman if he didn't ride like the wind. Two people careening towards one another, with only a crash to stop their momentum now.
Tears were blinding Lou's vision as she scrambled up a small slope and found herself directly in the path of a thundering Katy. Too overcome to scream, she stumbled to a near stop. When Kid saw Lou was in his path he pulled Katy hard to the right, skidding her to a near-stop while he simultaneously threw his right leg over the horse and leapt to the ground.
Almost falling, he felt Lou's strong, little arms reach out and grasp him to her. Tumbling against her, he threw his arms around her and together they collapsed to the ground. The moment they each felt the other's touch, a simultaneous cry passed between them, each uttering the other's name.
Tears and dirt and sweat and skin were the first sensations, only tactile. Slowly, weeping could be heard, then the smell of hot horses and paerie grass. The sweet and strange taste of eachother's mouth and face, whatever could be reached in seconds. The tangle of senses countinued on until both were out of breath, holding on for life, grasping at lost time.
A strong wind picked up in the midst of the reunion and swept past the huddled couple, cooling their skin in a sudden blast. Only then did the hold they had on eachother loosen just enough for Lou to take the first look into her husband's eyes. Pulling back from him slightly, her eyes closed, she prepared to see Kid for the first time in four years. Tears still flooded her lashes, streaking her face making wisps of her hair stick to her cheeks. And then she opened her eyes.
"Still blue," she whispered.
***
"Blue...."
"Lou, sweetheart..."
"Still blue..."
"Lou, honey, wake up. Open those beautiful brown eyes for me, please darlin'."
"Wha...Kid?" Lou's eyes fluttered open, but in the dark she could barely make out where she was. Everything seemed to be swimming before her. Lines were unstables, faces were distorted. Only the voice speaking to her was clear as day.
"Don't try to move, Lou. Tell me what hurts first."
"Kid...I...where?"
"Shhhh....you're at home, baby. I'm home. There was a storm. I just got back. You fell. Now tell me where it hurts."
Confusion settled in, and Lou couldn't understand how she'd just been on the prarie with Kid and now, from what she was beginning to sense, she was laying in an awkward postion in the middle landing of their stairway. "But you're back? You came home?"
"Of course I'm home. Didn't think a little ol' storm would stop me from getting my surprise, did ya?" There was a grin in his voice, but she could also hear a fear resting there. It took her a moment to let what he said register and when they did, his words struck her like a blow.
"Oh God....the baby," she was able to moan, just before passing out in Kid's arms.
***
"Louise, you gotta calm down, darlin'."
"Oh God...Oh God....Rachael, it hurts! It hurts so much! Please, please, don't let me lose my baby, God!" Rachael's arms were holding tight to Lou as she cried through the pain. Buck had gone for the doctor after he'd found Rachael in the garden. All Rachael could do was try and keep Lou calm enough for the doctor to have something to save when he got there.
Everything with the pregnancy had been fine. Lou hadn't even known she was pregnant for the first three months. She'd been so used to missing her monthlies while she was riding, three months without an occurance was hardly something she'd noticed. Working so hard while being "puny" had taken care of that. When she started getting sick in the mornings, it was with some trepidation that she allowed Rachael to drag her to the doctor. When it was official, Lou penned an emotional letter to Kid.
My darling husband,
There seems to be no way to introduce what I am about to tell you, so I'll just say it quickly. Kid, you are going to be a father. In six months time, I will be the mother to your child. It's all like a beautiful dream I'm living in, and the only thing that would make it perfect is if you could be holding me in your arms as I tell you this.
I don't know if words can rightly descibe the feelings inside me. The thought that I will give birth to your baby, is more than my heart can hold. I'm bursting with love for you and with the pride that something of you is growing inside me. I never knew I could be this happy.
You did that, Kid. You made this happiness and love grow inside me. And not just the baby, but the way you've made me feel loved from the moment we wed. I know we had a hard time of getting here, I know I was selfish at times, stubborn, too. But I promise you, when our baby is born, all my past mistakes will be made up for.
Kid, I love you. I love you for the gifts you've given me...my life and now our baby.
I'll see you in my dreams. Come home to me soon and ride safe.
Love,
Louise
Everything was fine. Until that fateful morning almost a month later. Lou had been brushing down Lightening when the first pain hit. It was sharp, not like the waves of nausea she'd become familiar with, and it orginiated from deeper within her, deeper and lower. She knew instantly that something was very wrong. Bent over with a second pain, she made her way out of the barn and searched the way station's yard for help. She saw no one and realized with a paralyzing fear that she was alone. The third pain was too much for her, and Lou doubled over in the yard, her knees hitting the ground hard, tearing her dress. Fighting the ache within her, she tried to get back to her feet when the most fearful sensation tore at her body and she screamed out in pain.
She recalled very little of the actual miscarriage. Buck had found her in a heap in the yard. She was weeping, but didn't seem to take notice of him other than to moan as he lifted her into his arms and ran toward Rachael's house. Somehow the doctor had been fetched, Rachael had appeared before the doctor and had been holding her tightly all the while. There was blood on the sheets. It wasn't time. It wasn't time.
"It's not time, Rachael! It's not time, the baby's not supposed to come for months yet!" Lou was sobbing into Rachael's shoulder as the woman held her firmly to prevent Lou from seeing what the doctor was doing. Rachael had seen a lot in her time, and she knew that Lou's baby would not live. That in fact, it was already dead and nothing Louise could do or say or pray would change that. Fighting tears and the memory of her own tragedy, Rachael shushed and rocked Lou as the doctor sadly shook his head and moved away from the bed.
Through Lou's tears, she saw this, and began to whisper over and over the same word, "no." At first Rachael couldn't even tell Louise was speaking, until the "no"s became clearer and louder and eventually, Buck was called in to help Rachael restrain Lou as she screamed out at the unfairness of it all. Shaken and filled with sorrrow, it was almost a relief for them all when Lou passed out from the strain and anguish of losing her and Kid's first baby.
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III ChapterIV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X
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