No one was too surprised when Pastor Kidderson became a frequent visitor to the waystation. Everyone knew that the new preacher wanted to see Lou. Most had begun wagering bets on how long until her cold demeanor melted under his relentless interest.
Lou wasn’t sure what bothered her the most - that she had such carnal thoughts about a man of the cloth or that he immediately recognized her gender when no one else had. Either way, he was dangerous to her peace of mind. With the secrets from her past buried deep within her heart and mind, she could never have any kind of relationship with a religious man. ‘If he knew the truth about me, he’d not be interested anyway,’ she reasoned as she lay in bed at night. ‘Besides, he’ll soon lose interest for one of the pretty girls in town.’
Even after a month of Preacher’s almost daily visits, Lou was still trying to convince herself that his interest was only fleeting. Unfortunately, her excuses were wearing thin, even to her own ears.
It was late in the afternoon when the minister rode into the yard. His paint, Katy, knew the path well, and Preacher Kidderson whistled a quirky tune as the horse led him to the bunkhouse. He slid out of the saddle with ease, and several of the boys had moved onto the porch to greet him.
The other riders had quickly forgotten to treat the minister with formality, his profession no longer a barrier to their friendships. As a matter of fact, both Cody and Jimmy had begun to speak of spiritual topics with him. The informal setting, coupled with the preacher’s sincere openness and friendliness, leant itself to a comfortable relationship. Everyone but Lou valued both his friendship and his visits.
“Lou around?” Preacher Kidderson asked softly.
“Yep, she’s in the bunkhouse,” answered Buck.
Lou overheard the conversation and sauntered nonchalantly onto the porch.
“Preacher,” her greeting was stilted and her nod terse.
“Good day ma’am” Preacher tilted his hat. “Great day for a walk.”
Lou merely shrugged her shoulders.
“Care to join me?” Preacher asked.
When Lou didn’t answer, Buck pulled her into the bunkhouse. “We’ll only be a moment,” Buck called over his shoulder.
“Now Lou, I don’t know what your problem is, but that’s a good man out there, and he really cares about you. I ain’t ever seen you treat anyone rude as him,” Buck said quietly.
Tears welled up in Lou’s eyes. “Oh Buck, problem is, I do like him - very much. But look at me,” she waved a hand over her clothes. “I ain’t meant to be with a preacher.” The myriad of other reasons making a relationship impossible tumbled throughout her mind, but she could no more share that with Buck than she could with the man of the cloth outside.
“How do you know? You keep pushing him away, and you don’t even know anything about him.”
“I know he’s a preacher,” Lou began, but Buck cut her off.
“If you judge him on that alone, you ain’t no better than all the people you worry will judge you for being a woman,” Buck pointed out.
Long moments passed as Lou assimilated that point. All the things about her past, things she felt were more a barrier than her clothing, bubbled in her throat, but she just couldn’t talk about that. She was in an impossible situation. She didn't want to lose Buck's respect, but even walking with Pastor Kidderson was like playing with fire -- Lou knew she burned for him already.
A huge sigh escaped Lou’s mouth. “You’re right Buck. Thanks.” She’d walk with the preacher, but she wasn’t going to let him too close. Surely she could keep her own desires under control. One word about her past would send him running anyway. For once, perhaps the sins and shame could be used to her advantage and save her from heartache, if necessary.
“That’s what friends are for,” Buck grinned as she walked back onto the porch.
He heard Lou’s lilting voice. “I’d be happy to join you for a walk,” she said, and for once, she let her guard down and responded in her normal, very feminine voice.
Buck saw Preacher Kidderson’s grin as he walked out of the bunkhouse behind Lou.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The pair walked in silence for several minutes. Pastor Kidderson listened to Lou's soft breathing, reveling in this opportunity to court her. He was surprised that he wasn't nervous, but instead calm, sure and very content. Her very presence at his side brought a peace he'd never encountered, before or since his ministry.
"It's a beautiful day, Miss Louise," he announced with a mixture of pride and happiness.
Lou glanced at his profile cautiously. The satisfied grin across his handsome face made her heart flutter. 'Damn,' she thought, 'a preacher just shouldn't look that good.' She looked away hastily, but not before he caught her eye.
His grin deepened as he began to hum a tune, a tune she didn't recognize.
Lou cleared her throat. "There's no need in you calling me Miss Louise. Everbody just calls me Lou."
The tune stopped. "Why Miss Louise, I'd never give your real name away in front of others, but you're too much of a lady for me to call you Lou in private."
Lou cast a stern look in his direction. "I'm no lady."
"Well, I think you are," he replied with conviction. As he spoke, he hooked her arm through his and proceeded to walk as if she were in a fancy dress rather than dusty britches.
Lou felt an immediate jolt at his nearness, but stiffened her spine to hide her reaction. 'Ladies didn't have these kind of feelings,' she grumbled to herself. Of course, denying her attraction was becoming increasingly difficult. 'Maybe if I show him that I'm really not a lady, he'll leave me alone,' she thought. A wicked grin tickled her mouth. 'I could scare him off but good!'
Casually, Lou pressed against his arm, drawing it in close proximity to her breast. She glanced up at noticed the good pastor's jaw clinched. 'This will be easy,' she assured herself, 'and better for both of us in the long run.' She then pressed a bit closer.
Pastor Kidderson gently removed her arm from the crook of his elbow, but instead of moving completely away from her, he grasped her small hand into his large palm. Their clasped hands swung easily between them as they continued to walk.
Lou exhaled deeply. "So where are you from, Pastor Kidderson?" she asked. Lou knew that she shouldn't show an interest in his past, but curiosity got the best of her.
Again, the pastor's mouth smiled broadly, apparently encouraged by her question. "Well, I was born and raised in Manassas, Virginia. Went to seminary in St. Louis, Missiouri. This is my first church. Where are you from?"
Lou wanted to hear all the details he didn't say, but was hesitant to inquire further. "I'm an orphan,"she said curtly. "I'm not really from anywhere."
Pastor Kidderson nodded solemnly. "You know, you don't have to call me Pastor Kidderson. Growing up, my family usually just called me Kid."
"I hardly think it'd be right for me to call you that," Lou said in a huff.
"See there, you're acting all lady-like and formal," the pastor pointed out.
Lou made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. They twinkled with merriment as well as some other nameless emotion.
'A girl could really fall for eyes like that,' Lou warned herself. Without even being aware of it, the couple had stopped their stroll. They stood staring into each other's eyes, unaware of the time or their surroundings. Pastor Kidderson thought he'd never seen such deep, soulful brown eyes in all his life. Unconsciously, Lou bit her lower lip as her mind and pulse raced.
Ever so slowly, he moved his face down toward hers, placing a feathery kiss upon her cheek. Lou was unable to move or breathe. When she didn't move away, he placed his mouth upon her cheek again, this time closer to her mouth. His own breath became shallow and ragged. The third time he moved his lips toward her, they gently settled on her mouth, and he traced her soft lips with his own, moving his mouth side to side across hers.
Lou drew in a startled inhalation at his tenderness, shocked that such a simple kiss could send desire coursing through her. Her sudden intake of breath parted her lips slightly, and he was unable to resist the temptation to touch his tongue to her own. The preacher felt the heavy weight of full desire for the first time in his life, and was lost in its consuming heat. The kiss deepened as they both became lost in the taste of each other.
Kid kept his hands clinched on her upper arms, as if he realized that they would stray if he allowed them to move. Lou's palms lay flat against his broad chest. The kiss continued for several more minutes.
When at last Lou backed away slightly, her eyes were closed and her mouth swollen. Unaware, she sighed his name, Kid, while still tasting him on her lips and tongue. Abruptly, reality dawned and she backed up hastily before he could reach for her once again.
She noticed a flush had stolen up his cheeks and saw his lips glistening from her own mouth. She lowered her head, but not before she saw his desire for her straining against the cloth of his trousers. A blush immediately tinted her face as well.
"Miss Louise, I ahhh...," he tried to begin, but floundered with an explanation.
She put up her hand to stop his flow of words. "If you dare apologize, I'll be insulted."
"I know I should, but I'm not gonna apologize. But I think you can call me Kid from now on."
Lou shook her head. "We shouldn't see each other anymore. You need a lady, and I'm not."
"Then I'm not a gentlemen," he grinned.
Lou sadly turned away. 'What is wrong with me, that men...,' but she couldn't continue the thought. Instead, she faced the man who had shown her such tenderness, and then such fevered affection.
"You don't really know me, and I'm not what a Pastor needs. Find a good girl in town," Lou stated firmly. Then she turned and ran as if to flee the flames of hellfire.
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