"Just leave me alone Kid. I don't want to talk to you about this right now."
"Lou, we have to talk about it."
"Why Kid? Why do we have to talk? Shouldn't we have done that before you decided this? You don't really care about what I think, or you would have asked me before you made your decision. You didn't want to find out how I felt then, and I really don't care to tell you now. Just get out."
"No, Lou. I've been trying to talk to you about this for three days. I'm leaving tomorrow, and I don't want things between us to be like this when I do. Please Lou, I just want you to understand why I have to go; how much Virginia means to me."
"Kid stop. Just stop. Because there is no way I can understand. I could never comprehend how a place; a place Kid, not something living; could ever mean more to you than your family; than me."
"Lou, it's not the place. It's what the place means. It's the memories."
"What about me Kid? What about the memories you've made here, the memories you still have to make; we have to make, together?"
"Lou I'm sorry. This is something I have to do, even if you can't understand."
"I'm sorry too Kid. I'm sorry that Virginia means more to you than I do, than our future does."
Louise ran out of the barn, tears pouring down her face. Kid began to go after her, misery evident on his face. He hated doing this to her, but he needed her to understand why he had to do this, why he had to go fight. This war was tearing apart everything he had ever known; his country, his home, his memories, and his friends. He wasn't going to let it tear his family apart too; not if he could help it.
"Kid, I think she needs some time alone," Rachel spoke from where she was hanging clothes on the line.
"I don't want to hurt her Rachel, but I need her to understand why I have to do this."
"I know that Kid. But this is the first real conversation you have had about this since you told her you were leaving. She needs time to sort it all out."
Lou walked through Rock Creek, not having any particular destination, just wandering. She couldn't even begin to sort out her thoughts; her mind was a jumble. She just walked, not paying any attention to the bustling town around her. After a while she looked up and found herself at the gate to the cemetery. Only a few weeks before she had stood inside this gate with what remained of her family, saying good-bye to one part of it. Now she shuddered as she wondered how many more members of her family would end up here, or in other cemeteries, all because of this cursed war. Cody, Jimmy, Jesse, Teaspoon. All had left to find their places in service for their causes. And now Kid.
Opening the gate, she walked to Noah's grave. Kneeling beside it, she tried to calm down enough to sort out what she was feeling.
"Noah, what's happening here? First Ike was taken from us, then you. Jesse left, then Cody; and Jimmy and Teaspoon must have had an argument or something, probably over this dreadful war. They barely spoke to each other for days, and the day after Teaspoon left for Texas, Jimmy left too. He didn't even say good-bye. When Buck got back from his run that morning, Jimmy's things were gone. We haven't heard from him at all. And Buck hasn't really said anything, but he's thinking about leaving too. I can tell. And now Kid," Lou began to cry again. "And now Kid is going back to Virginia to sign up to fight for the South. He's leaving tomorrow. Oh, Noah, I don't know if I can stand it. How can he leave to fight? For his memories he says. How can memories be worth fighting for when he has a whole future ahead of him? Memories to be made with me. What if I lose him Noah?"
Lou sat beside the grave for over an hour, honestly trying to understand Kid's decision. She thought about her mother and her brother and sister. Her childhood had not held many good memories, but she knew if someone tried to take away the few happy ones, she would fight them.
When she got back to the station, Kid was sitting on Rachel's porch waiting for her. He looked at her hesitantly as she sat down beside him.
"Kid," Lou looked at him. "I'm so sorry. I should have given you a chance to explain why you have to leave."
"I'm sorry too Lou. I should have discussed it with you before I decided anything."
"Kid, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that I completely understand why you have to go, and I'm not gonna tell you I agree with your decision, but I know that you do have to go." She reached out and took Kid's hand. "Just promise me you'll come back."
"Lou, nothing will keep me from coming back to you." Each knew Kid's promise might be impossible to keep, but it was something they both needed to hear.
"Kid,"
"Shh, Lou," Kid kissed her. "Let's not waste our last few hours together by talking about the war."
They sat side by side on the step watching the sunset, not talking but just content to be together. Neither could say what the future would bring; joy, sorrow, pain, happiness. But they both knew they would always have each other, even when they were separated...until they met again.
