Suddenly, the sun comes out. The victim wakes up and realizes that she is strong. She is capable. She is worth something. She is not going to allow herself to be exploited in this way ever again, by any person.
This person suddenly sees a rainbow. Suddenly there are ideas.....ideas that help her to instinctively know where to go for help. She calls agencies..she calls friends..she calls anyone who will listen and give her help.
She has arrived at 'that place' where she, although still shakey, is powerful and determined and mad as hell, and she vows to never take 'it' again.
And we have another survivor.
If you know of a victim of domestic abuse, please listen to them. Don't give them advice about the fact that "YOU wouldn't take that from anyone". We all think that, as rational adults, but if you have never been in that situation, the most valuable thing you can provide is a listening ear and a non-judgemental attitude of caring and concern. Do some research, and find agencies in your area to help, so that when that person who is the victim 'reaches that place', you will have something concrete to offer.
A good place to start is here:
Please take a moment to remember those who do not survive. They should not be forgotten.
The last phase of healing is in the victim's mind and heart. After a while, you learn to forgive yourself. No one else. You realize that what happened to you was NOT your fault, as you were so often told. You realize that you have nothing to be ashamed of, because the shameful thing was not done BY you, but TO you. You realize that you grew because of what you endured. You realize that you understand yourself and others better. And you begin to smile again. You stop worrying about things you do and what those things might 'earn' you in the form of harsh words and hurtful hands.
You begin to help others. And that's when you really are healed.
