My Dearest Casey,
You had your eyes open a little while ago, but now you just want to sleep. I wish you would open your eyes and look at me. My son, my precious child, my angel sent from Heaven…this is one of our last moments together. As I hold you close to me and feel your tiny body warm against my own, I look at you and look at you. I feel as if my eyes can’t hold enough of you. For a little guy so small, there is a lot of you to look at…
in such a short time.

Your cheeks are bruised from the tape you had on your face…they feel so soft to my fingertip, like the wing of a butterfly. You have too many blonde eyelashes to count, and yet I want to engrave them all in my mind. I don’t want to forget anything about you.

Please know that your daddy and I are letting you go because we love you so very much. You have been so strong over the past six days…but your body is tired and it’s okay for you to go. I know that you are worried about me, but your daddy will take care of me and you can watch out for me from Heaven. I wish I could squish you back inside of me – I’m not ready to let you go. If I could just hold you like this forever and never have to face this world without you, would everything be okay? No…I know everything will only
be all right if I let you go.

I knew that you were going to be beautiful, but I had no idea how beautiful. I feel as if my heart is being pulled from my body right through my skin. I had no idea I could feel so much pain. I feel as if I could die. I ask for your forgiveness, as it had to be something I did. This just wasn't fair; my precious little baby was gone. I would never get to do the things a Mother is suppose to, like bathe you, dress you, feed you, watch you grow and all the wonderful things a Mother gets to do for her child. Please know that the last six days and twelve and a half hours have brought me so much joy. Casey, even if I had known my heart would break, I would have loved you anyway. There’s not a touch I would trade, not a moment I would erase. Goodbye, my baby…you will be in my heart always and forever. I love you, I love you…I love you.
Your Mommy