Sat down and cried today
I can’t look at you while
I’m lying next to her
He laid there staring at the ceiling as another nameless girl moved next to him. He rubbed his hand over his face and sighed then he looked over at the girl that lay next to him, he shook his head disgusted and then got out of the bed. He put his boxers on as he grabbed his wallet out of his pants pocket and went into the main part of the hotel room. He sat down on the couch and opened his wallet and pulled out the picture of her, that he had hidden, so he wouldn’t see it everyday.
He stared at her; her smile, her long dark hair, and her emerald eyes. She was beautiful, he missed her. He hated to admit that, but he did. He always wondered if he had changed his ways would he still be with her, today? He didn’t think he could actually change his ways, he was so used to them they were routine. This seemed to becoming a routine too; waking up at dawn getting out of bed and staring at her picture while the nameless girl slept in the other room. He could never do it with a girl lying there, because he always got emotional.
He leaned back and held the picture up at eye level. He couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his mouth as he looked at the ends of the picture; they were faded and torn slightly, from him looking at it so much and pulling it in and out of his wallet. That smile faded back into the frown that was there before. He put the picture down and sighed as he his other hand ran through his hair. He closed his eyes as he leaned his head back and he began to think about their times together. And before he knew it, he was crying… again.
Frustrated with himself for crying over her again. He put the picture back in his wallet, in it’s secret hiding spot. Then he got up and went back into the other room to try and go back to sleep.
I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same old same how have you been
Since you’ve been gone my world’s been
Dark and gray
He was walking down the street back towards the hotel with a couple of his friends, a few days later, when he saw her. He stopped walking and just stared at her as she got out of the car. He held his breath waiting for her to see him. He wanted to go say something to her, but he couldn’t move. Finally, she looked up and saw him before she walked into the restaurant. She smiled slightly at him and he let out the breath he was holding in and smiled weakly back at her.
She stood there a second, told her friend to go in and then began to walk over to him. He could feel the butterflies grow in his stomach as she got closer. It had been a while since he had seen her. She cut her hair and there was something else that had changed. She didn’t look the same; she was glowing, she looked happy. He frowned slightly when he realized she never really looked like when they were together.
Before he knew it she was standing in front of him and his friends seemed to disappear as he stared into her emerald eyes, bringing back all kinds of feelings and memories.
She smiled. "Hey, how have you been?" She asked as she looked at him.
"Fine." He said plainly.
She nodded. "That’s good."
"What about you?" He asked almost scared of what her answer was going to be.
"Great, I’m fantastic." She said smiling even bigger.
He nodded and then they stood there just looking at each other, in an uncomfortable silence.
"Well, it was good to see you. I have to go." She said as she pointed behind her.
He smiled weakly again and just nodded as she smiled back and then walked off. He watched her walk off and memories of the time she walked out of his life ran through his head. After she walked in the restaurant, he continued to stand there. Finally, one of his friends put their hand on his back and pushed him a little and they continued their walk back down to the hotel.
I thought about you for a long time
Can’t seem to get you off my mind
I found your picture today
I swear I’ll change my ways
He sat on the couch in yet another hotel room all alone this time thinking about her and when he saw her, it had been almost two months since he saw her but he couldn’t seem to get her out of his head. It was worse than before.
Pulling out her picture, he stared at it longing to be with her still. He wanted her. He wanted to be with her again. He was to a point where he would do anything now to get her back. He’d change, he’d do anything she wanted. All she had to do was ask.
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed the number that was still so familiar to him. He didn’t push send; he just stared at the numbers mentally going over what he was going to say to her. He didn’t know what to say, there were so many things he wanted to tell her but he just didn’t know how to get it all out.
Finally, gathering all the strength he could find deep within he held his breath as he hit the send button and put the phone up to his ear. It started to ring and he let his breath out. He began to fidget a little as it kept on ringing. Then she answered.
"Hello?" She asked cheerfully.
He swallowed hard and panicked. He couldn’t find his voice.
"Hello?" She asked again.
"Hi." He said quietly.
He heard her gasp in surprise quietly. He closed his eyes and just sat there waiting for her to say something.
"What do you want?" She asked quietly.
I just called to say I want you
To come back home
I just called to say I love you
Come back home
He sat there kind of shocked how she asked that and just the fact that she had asked that. Well, if it was him he was pretty sure he wouldn’t really want to talk either.
"I just wanted to call and see how you were."
"Why?"
"Well…be- because… I couldn’t… you kno- know… stop thinking about yo-you… after I saw you…" He replied and now he was stuttering. He slapped his forehead and shook his head.
"That was months ago." She replied slightly annoyed.
"I… I… know."
"So what, is that all you wanted?"
"No." He said before he thought about it.
"Then what else did you want?"
"I just wanted to call and tell you I missed you. I want you to come back."
"What? Come back where?"
"To me." He said quietly.
She sat on the other end of the phone surprised. Not really knowing what she should do or say.
"Are you still there?"
"Yeah." She replied softly.
"I just wanted to tell you I love you." He said confidently.
She swallowed hard and replied, "I don’t believe you."
"I do, I love you and I want you back." He said pleading with her.
She didn’t say anything; she just hung up the phone.
He stared at the phone in disbelief that she hung up on him. He felt like the stupidest person in the world, after doing that. He didn’t even know why he did it. Because that was what she wanted to hear. Right? That was what she wanted when they were together, he was positive.
He sighed as he began to cry again, this was becoming a habit he couldn’t stand. He picked up her picture kissed it softly and then put it back in it’s spot. Sighing, he leaned back against the couch and then stood up slowly he walked over to the mini bar and decided he’d just drink her away. At least for tonight.
I put your picture away