How To Tame A Grouch
As you can see from the photos on my website, I am beautiful. So of course, people want to touch me. It’s a tiring process, having to explain the “no touching Dynamo” rule, but I’m used to it. It’s my curse.
Sometimes, however, I will meet someone upon whom I have no effect. I assume they are among the confused group who call themselves dog lovers. It’s a problem of the mind, they can’t help it. And it’s just as well, I have a large family and they all love me. Almost all of them, which brings me to the point of my story.
There is one person in my extended family who really gets under my skin. He struts in, calls me names like “flea bag” and “that cat”.It’s very upsetting. It’s as if I’m a common cat! I know he’s not a dog person, so there’s no easy explanation for this.
In order to protect his identity I will refer to him as The Grouch. I wasn’t too interested in taming him until I realized that he wasn’t willing to share his food with me. He had a plate of something interesting so I walked over and said, “Thanks, I’ll try some.” and dipped my paw into his gravy. He snatched his plate away and said “Get out of here cat!” That’s when I knew something had to be done.
I’ve tried everything. But The Grouch just sits there and says things like “I hope I don’t catch fleas from that flea bag cat.” I was appalled and I would have scratched him, but my person tends to get upset when I attack the guests, so I walked away.
But I had made up my mind. I was going to make The Grouch want to pet me. I thought long and hard, slept on it, and ate a lot of chicken. Okay, I would have eaten a lot of chicken anyway, but that’s not the point. I came up with a plan. It was risky and it all had to be completed during one Grouch visit. I was going….to be cute!
Now, I’m not cute often. I mean, look at me, I don’t need to be. This time I decided to go all out. I would prance, swish my tail, and stare lovingly at him. It was fail proof!
I started by prancing proudly by him while looking as fluffy as possible. That didn’t work. Next I decided to stare at him with love in my eyes and meow sweetly. He narrowed his eyes grouchily, but I took this as a good sign. He noticed me!
I pulled my cottony white paws up by my face and lay there on my back looking absolutely adorable. Then before he could make his getaway I jumped up and collapsed on his feet. This Grouch wasn’t going anywhere.
He looked at me as if he knew my plan. That’s when it happened. He put his hand out and tried to pet me! Of course, I couldn’t let him do that so I swatted his hand lightly to remind him that there are boundaries.
I was feeling very smug. I strutted away as if I owned the place and settled down for a much deserved nap. I don’t mean to sound boastful , but I have a right. Through willpower and the sheer force of my cuteness, I have tamed a grouch!
~by Dynamo~
