Two remained. Buffy and Angel glanced back and forth at each other. “Do you want to go?” Buffy asked him, finally.
Angel stared at her. “I don’t know,” he admitted after a moment. “Do you?”
She shrugged, then gave him a small smile. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Angel gave her an odd look, and nodded. “But you first,” she added quickly.
He took an unnecessary breath and stepped forward. “I’ll go.”
“What do you wish to see?” Jackter asked him.
He looked around at the faces of all his friends. “There’s a lot I’m curious about. My life…I’ve lived a long time. Done things. Seen things. I’ve been catching myself wondering what my life would be like if I hadn’t been turned. But…Spike’s right. I know how that would have gone. I wasn’t a…noble man. I was a bum, frankly. A drunk, a lecher.”
“Good times,” Spike nodded, raising a flask he produced from seemingly nowhere.
Angel ignored him and continued. “I would have ended up dead in a bar fight at some point. There was no future there for me. My parents…my siblings…they would have lived…but that’s over and done with.” He paused for a moment. “And then I was turned, and my world changed. I saw the world…the good and the bad. I was responsible for a lot of the bad. For over a hundred years I was the Scourge of Europe, a title that I created for myself and lived up to as best I could.”
Now his eyes sought Spike’s. “And one night, I fed. Off a gift from Darla…a gypsy girl. And her people exacted their revenge on me with my soul.”
“So you want to know what you’d be doing if you hadn’t gotten your soul back?” Buffy asked gently.
Angel shook his head. “No…I know that, too. I can’t watch myself kill again.”
“So…what, then?” Cordelia asked softly.
His head was down now, his voice very low, very grave. “I lived in New York for a long time…I was…I lived on the streets. Feeding from rats, homeless. Hungry. Alone. I thought alone was good. It wasn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to feed from humans, and I was so…lost. I wasn’t a mortal. And I wasn’t exactly a vampire. I didn’t know what I was, what I was supposed to do in my life. All I knew was that I had to pay for my sins, for all the horror I’d had been capable of, all the lives I had ruined. And then one day, I met someone.”
“Who?” Dawn asked.
“A demon. Half-demon, actually. Whistler. He came to me. He knew what I was. The Powers sent him to me, to guide me. To bring me here, to Sunnydale.”
“I know this…him. I know him,” Buffy said suddenly. “Whistler. He came to me…a long time ago. He told me how to stop Acathla from sucking the world into Hell.”
Angel’s curiosity was peaked, but he pushed it to the back of his mind for now. “Do you remember when I told you that I saw you called?” he asked Buffy. She nodded. “He was the one who brought me to your school. He told me I had the potential to become someone. Showed me you, showed me how hard you were going to have it. The Powers wanted me to help you…all of you.”
They stared at him, eyes wide.
Angel turned to Jackter. “What I’d like to know is…what if I hadn’t agreed to come here with Whistler? What would my life be like? And…what would their lives be like?”
Cinder and ash, flame and fire, ‘Tis the other’s life to see we desire Two roads before us, but one to take Show the other, the choice not made.
*FLASH!* Manhattan, 1996
Angel sighed and shifted against the brick wall, mostly hidden by the night. “I want to know who you are.”
“And I want to know who you are,” the odd little man answered.
“You already do.”
The man shrugged. “Not yet. I’m looking to find out. 'Cause you could go either way here.”
Angel squinted at him. “I don’t understand you.”
His companion let out a short laugh and walked to a hot dog vendor on the corner. Angel reluctantly followed. “Nobody understands me. It’s my curse. My name’s Whistler. Anyway, lately it is.”
“You’re not a vampire.”
The short man in the tacky fedora glanced at him. “A demon, technically. But I'm not a bad guy -- not all demons are dedicated to the destruction of all life. Someone has to maintain balance, you know. Good and evil can't exist without each other, blah blah blah. I'm not like a good fairy or anything, I'm just trying to make it all balance -- do I come off defensive?”
Angel blinked. “What did you mean I could go either way?”
“I mean you could become an even more useless rodent than you are right now, or you could become. . . someone. A person. Someone to be counted.”
For a moment, Angel paused, listening. Then with a jerk of his shoulder he stepped off the street. “I just want to be left alone.”
Whistler followed. “You've been alone for what, ninety years? And what an impressive package you are. The stink guy!”
Angel turned on him unsteadily. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to see something. It's happening very soon, we'd need to leave now. You see, and then you tell me what you want to do.” He watched as Angel considered for a moment.
“Where is it?”
Whistler grinned. “How do you feel about sun and surf? Or…well, just surf, in your case?”
The vampire looked confused. “What?”
“It’s in California. She’s in California, actually. We’ve got a job for you.”
“Who’s we? And ‘her” for that matter?” Angel asked suspiciously.
“We isn’t important. I’ll leave it as ‘the higher powers.’ And she…well, she’s a girl. That’s all I’m saying. I want you to go, to look, and then you tell me what you think.”
“You’re taking me to see a girl? I don’t need a date,” Angel snapped.
“Ha! Humor! What a refreshing change of pace!” Whistler hooted. “Seriously. Come on. Whaddya got to lose? Besides your corner of the alley.”
“I can’t travel,” Angel tried again. “How am I going to get there?”
“How’d you get here?”
“Boats.”
Whistler paused. “Oh. Well, no, we’re not taking the Princess Cruise, sorry. Good old fashioned planes, trains and automobile’s, son.”
“I want to know why.”
“Why what?”
“I want to know why I’m going to see a girl. Who’s the girl?”
“Look, I can’t tell you just yet. You’ve gotta trust me,” Whistler told him, getting impatient.
Angel jerked a shoulder and settled back onto the ground, closing his eyes wearily. “Then I’m not going.”
Whistler’s eyes shot wide. “What?”
“I’m not going,” Angel repeated.
“Whoa, buddy. You don’t know what I’m offering you here.”
Angel’s eyes opened and he stared pointedly at Whistler. “No, I don’t.”
Whistler, defeated, stared back. “Fine. But I’m going to get my demon-hide tanned for this. I’m taking you to California. We’re going to see a girl…the Slayer.”
Angel’s expression changed to one of surprise, then amusement. “Get away from me, I’m warning you now.”
“You couldn’t hurt me right now if you wanted to,” Whistler snubbed, kneeling in front of him.
Angel’s eyes closed, then opened suddenly and he lunged at Whistler, knocking them backwards onto the ground. Angel was inches from Whistler’s face when he hissed. “Go. Away.”
When he backed off, Whistler struggled to his feet. “This could change things for you.”
“Yeah, I guess they could. I could be a big pile of dust.”
“She’s not--”
“She’s a Slayer. She kills vampires. I’m a vampire. I may not be up on the new math, but that still adds up.”
“Look, I know it sounds wacky. I’m not here to play the death march for you, you’re doing that just fine on your own. The Powers sent me to guide you. But I can’t force ya. If you’re not interested, you’re not interested. You could be someone, Angel. With a home, clean clothes, friends…and hey…a purpose! Or you can stay here, tormenting yourself for the next few hundred years until you get up the nerve to just take a step out into the sunlight and end it all.”
He leaned in again, warily, but desperate to make his point. “But it won’t end there, will it? You die, you go to hell. Hundred, thousands more years of torment.” He stepped back. “Yeah. I can see why taking a plane ride is such a bad decision.” With that he turned and walked out of the alley.
Angel leaned against the brick wall, dirty, grimy, and exhausted. Closing his eyes, he tried his best to ignore the hunger in his belly and the sound of Whistler’s voice.
“You were homeless. Really, truly homeless,” Cordelia murmured. “Like, living in a box homeless. Did you even have a box? Or were you more a street person?” She turned back to the fire. “Wow. Angel. Homeless.”
“We get it, Cordy,” Buffy told her.
“Talk about movin’ on up,” Gunn grinned appreciatively.
*FLASH!* Sunnydale, March, 1997
Buffy stood in front of Giles, angry. “It’s my first day! I was afraid that I’d be behind in all the classes, that I wouldn’t make any friends, that I’d have last month’s hair. I didn’t think there would be vampires on campus. And I don’t care.”
Giles whirled on her. “You have no idea what’s going on, do you? Do you think it’s a coincidence, your coming here? That boy was just the beginning.”
“Oh, why can’t you leave me alone?”
Now he stared at her, hard and serious. “Because you are the Slayer.”
*FLASH!*
Giles chased Buffy out into the hall of Sunnydale High, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the side, desperate. “It’s getting worse.”
“What’s getting worse?”
“The influx of the undead, the supernatural occurrences. It’s been building for years and now… There’s a reason why you’re here, and there’s a reason why it’s now.”
“Because now is the time my mom moved here.”
He ignored her. “Something is coming. Something is going to happen here soon.”
“Gee, can you vague that up for me…?”
“As far as I can tell, the signs point to a crucial mystical upheaval very soon – days, possibly less.”
She rolled her eyes. “Come on. This is Sunnydale. How bad an evil can there be here?”
*FLASH!*
“Jesse!” Willow screeched as she ran through the cemetery. Buffy, having raced out of the Bronze and into the night with Xander, was right behind them. She whirled to face her friends. “What’s going on? What is that?”
“That would be a vampire…am I right?” Xander asked, completely serious as he stopped to catch his breath.
Buffy, barely winded, nodded. “Pointy teeth and all.”
“Whoa…vampire? What are you talking about?” Willow asked.
“Vampires are real. I’m a Slayer. Keep it a secret. Any questions?” Without waiting for an answer, Buffy continued to look around for Jesse, frustration evident on her face. “God! How did they get out of here so fast?”
“So…vampires?” Willow asked, her mind still not catching up.
“Maybe we should split up?” Xander asked, at a loss.
“No. I’m going to walk you guys home, and then I’m coming back to look alone.” Buffy sighed.
“Alone?” Willow asked. “But, Buffy, maybe we should stay with you? Just in case?”
“No. There’s nothing you guys can do anyway. You’re going home.”
*FLASH!*
“I’m really sorry. I couldn’t find him,” Buffy said sadly as she walked into the library the next morning.
“Oh, Jesse,” Willow moaned, her face falling dejectedly.
Xander looked almost panicked. “What do you mean, you couldn’t find him?”
“I’m sorry, Xander. I looked all over that cemetery. I couldn’t find even a single vampire, let alone Jesse. Tonight we’ll go back to the scene of the crime…hit up the Bronze. It’s a social spot, lots of people, not too many paying attention to anyone else. Perfect people trap. Maybe we’ll recognize one of the vamps from tonight and they’ll lead us back to Jesse.”
“You’re letting us come this time?” Xander replied sourly.
“Nothing can happen to you at the Bronze,” Buffy replied, ignoring his sarcasm. “It’s way crowded, and I can keep an eye on you.”
*FLASH!*
“Do you see any of them?” Willow looked around again, craning her neck to see as far as possible. They’d been sitting at the same table for an hour, desperately hoping to find one of the cronies from the night before.
“No, but I see…Jesse!” Xander shouted suddenly, and took off running. Willow looked in the direction he headed in, and gave a happy squeal before she and Buffy followed.
“Guys!” Jesse cried. “You are never going to believe this. I can’t…it’s incredible!” he shouted over the din.
“How’d did you get out?” Buffy asked as they led him back to the couches.
Jesse shuddered. “I ditched that chick in the park after she tried to bite me. Bite me! I mean, can you believe it? I ran and hid behind that big clump of trees on the edge of the park, then some guy joined her, so I stayed put. I guess I fell asleep, ‘cause the next thing I know the sun’s up.”
“Yeah, that’ll do it,” Buffy told him. “You were lucky.”
“We were looking for you…or for the people who took you,” Willow added. “We thought they might come back here.”
Jesse grinned when something caught his eyes. “You weren’t wrong,” he whispered, ash white, and pointing a finger out to the crowd.
Their gazes followed and Buffy’s eyes lit on the blonde girl in the Catholic School uniform. She was dancing with a guy they didn’t know when she suddenly took his hand and led him to the door. “Time to go to work,” Buffy murmured and stood up.
“We’re going with you,” Xander told her. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”
Buffy noted his expression and decided against arguing. “Fine. But stay close together and be careful.” They walked outside and Buffy looked around for weapons. An old crate lay on its side next to the dumpster and she quickly broke it into stake-sized pieces. “Aim for the heart.”
“Where’d she go?” Willow asked, looking from side to side. The street was empty.
Buffy sighed. “Great. Ok…new plan. Xander, Jesse, you two go that way, Willow and I will go this way. If you run into trouble…scream like a girl. We’ll come running.”
“What if you get into trouble?” Xander asked them.
Buffy looked at him dead-on. “We won’t.”
The groups separated and Willow practically clung to Buffy’s arm. “Willow…a little breathing room would be nice.”
“Sorry,” she whispered, but didn’t let go.
*FLASH!*
“Jesse, man, it’s so good to have you back. We were worried something happened to you. Like you were dead, or something.”
“Nah, man. I’m more alive than ever,” Jesse grinned as they strolled around the Bronze.
“So…where are we going?” Xander looked around curiously.
Jesse stepped into an alley. “Nowhere, Xander. Just looking around.”
“Yeah, but where are we looking?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Jess said. His voice was a little muffled, and Xander stepped forward.
“Jesse?”
Suddenly Jesse turned on Xander, baring his fangs with a growl. “I’m kinda hungry, though.” And he dove for Xander’s neck.
As soon as he felt the prick of Jesse’s new fangs sing into his skin, Xander gave a yelp and bucked. His arms flew out, pushing Jesse back. Jesse growled loudly in dismay.
“Did you just bite me?” Xander cried incredulously. “You did!! You just bit me! I can’t believe you’d try to eat me! I thought we were friends!”
Jesse smirked. “We are friends, Xan! But you were all nervous, and your blood was pumping, and it just sounded really good!”
“You couldn’t have asked?”
“You wouldn’t have said yes!” Jesse cried defensively.
“Well of course I wouldn’t have! I’m not going to let you drink my blood!”
“Well, that’s why I didn’t ask!”
“You know, Jess, man, you never used to be this rude. Just take, take, take.”
“Come on, Xander, I’m sorry. Really.”
“It won’t happen again?” Xander asked, sounding like a mother scolding her child.
“No,” Jesse promised.
“Good.” With that, Xander took off running down the alley, as fast as he could go. However, Jesse’s reflexes were enhanced, and he grabbed Xander by the time he got a couple of steps away.
“Liar,” Xander croaked.
“What can I say, Xan?” Jesse replied, just before sinking his fangs into Xander’s neck. “I’m evil.”
”Oh my God!” cried Willow. “Jesse killed Xander!”
“Jeez. And after everything I did for him when we were kids, too,” Xander said petulantly.
“I think you should pick this one, Angel,” Spike said happily. “I like seeing the wanker get eaten. Makes me hungry.”
“Shut up, Spike,” replied at least four different people.
Willow, Giles, and Buffy walked slowly through the streets of Sunnydale, Buffy with a comforting hand on Willow’s arm.
“I’m really, sorry, Willow. We’ll find them. We will,” Buffy promised.
“But, but what if we don’t?” Willow said, her voice small. “What if something’s happened to them? They were my best friends, Buffy. I grew up with them.”
Buffy pulled her into a hug. “We’ll find them. I’ll find them.”
They released the embrace, and Buffy gave Willow a small smile. The group continued walking. Suddenly Willow stopped. “Xander!” she cried, pointing. Buffy looked into the distance, and saw Xander standing near the Bronze, his back to them. He didn’t turn at the sound of his name.
Willow took off running. “Willow, wait!” Buffy cried before taking off after her. Giles started after both girls.
“Xander!” Willow shouted again. Xander still didn’t turn, and the group continued running toward him. He stepped into the Bronze, disappearing from view. Willow, Buffy, and Giles caught up, and went through the door as well. Into the dark club.
“Okay, this can’t be good,” Buffy said flatly. A spotlight shone on a vampire on the stage, who was just taking his mouth off his dead victim’s neck.
“Xander?!” called Willow into the din. She looked around frantically, seemingly unaware of the vampire on the stage, drinking the blood of her schoolmates.
“Willow!” Buffy hissed. “Shh!”
“Bit late,” snorted someone beside them. They turned to see the blonde female vampire that Jesse had left the Bronze with two nights before.
Buffy pushed Willow toward Giles behind her, and stepped up to the vampire with a cocky expression.
“The schoolgirl look went out a long time ago. You should really rethink that wardrobe,” she said, looking at the vampire’s outfit distastefully.
“Big words from such a little girl.”
“At least I’m not a big skanky ho.”
“But I’ll bet you taste good,” said the vampire, lunging for her.
*FLASH!*
“Okay, what do you think you’re doing?” Cordelia cried angrily, trying to push her way past Jesse and out of the alley he had dragged her into. “You are seriously deranged.”
“Not at all, Cordelia. Just thought you and me could have a little fun, is all.”
“With you?” she cried. “I don’t think. I do have some standards. You’re such a creep. Now get out of my way.”
“I don’t think he’s going to be doing that,” Xander said, stepping up behind Jesse.
“Oh, great, now I’m being cornered by two losers. Lucky me!” Cordelia growled sarcastically.
“Jesse, man, go on inside. Cordelia and I have a little business to attend to,” Xander said, stepping in front of Jesse.
“Excuse me? I don’t think so. Cordelia’s mine!” Jesse argued, whirling to glare at Xander.
“Says who?”
“Says me!”
“Why should you get to kill her?” Xander asked angrily.
“Because she’s ignored me for years! She won’t go out with me! I should get some revenge!”
“What about me? I’ve hated Cordelia for years! Remember the “I Hate Cordelia” Club?”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re the treasurer. I don’t care, Xander! I wanna kill her!”
“Whoa, okay…what? Killing me? Right. If you two were even the least bit scary I'd be kicking your asses all the way down this alley right about now," Cordelia broke in heatedly. "But you're not. You're pathetic little boys. Now, get out of my way!" With that she wrestled free of their grips and began to storm off.
Jesse and Xander stood, speechless, for a brief moment. "You know…I'd be up for…sharing," Jesse offered.
"Sounds like a workable plan," Xander replied huskily, leering after Cordelia's retreating figure. They took off down the alley and ran around her, blocking her path once more.
Cordelia sighed and put one hand on her hip. "You have three seconds before I embarrass you."
"We don't think so," Jesse growled, and his face morphed.
Cordelia gasped and leapt towards Xander. "Oh my God! Look at--" she looked to his face for comfort and shrieked again as her eyes met bright amber ones.
They moved in.
”You killed me??” Cordelia cried, smacking Xander on the arm. Xander rubbed his arm.
“Ow! I didn’t do it!”
“I just watched you do it!” Cordelia cried loudly.
“Yeah, but that’s vamp-me! I wouldn’t do it if I weren’t an evil soulless vampire!!”
“I’m surprised you had the stones to do it as a vampire, Monkey-Boy,” Spike said, rolling his eyes and taking a drag from his cigarette.
“Shut up, Spike,” most of the group snapped.
“You two need to stay here, and get as many people out as you can,” Buffy directed Giles and Willow, looking after where the blonde vampire had disappeared. “She’s probably going home. I’m going to see who she answers to. You guys be careful. That vamp looks strong.”
Giles started to protest and Buffy cut him off. “I’m the Slayer, it’s my job, and I do it alone. Get them out.” She turned and took off into the night.
Buffy looked around the darkened street, seeing a flash of tacky blue plaid swirl around a corner, and she took off running. She turned the same corner, and looked around again. A flicker of blonde hair, and she was off running again, turning corners, not gaining on the vampire, but not losing her either. Buffy soon found herself in one of Sunnydale’s many cemeteries. From the corner of her eye, she saw movement near the door of a mausoleum, and headed toward it.
Buffy slowly opened the door, and peeked in. Nothing. She almost turned around and left, to go look for the vampire, when she heard a small scraping. She whirled, toward the sound, and noticed that the iron gate toward the back was vibrating a little. Buffy stared at it for a moment.
“Well. That’s a trap. And not a very good one,” she muttered to herself before wrenching open the gate and stepping gingerly into the sewer beyond it.
”I’m following Darla into a trap?” Buffy asked skeptically. “Did Angel make me smarter or something? Because that’s just not in the Buffy Survival Skills Handbook.”
“At least you knew it was a trap,” Willow said, trying to be comforting.
“Biiiiiig help,” replied Buffy.
“Hello? I’m looking for a big scary vampire? Or a little slutty blonde one?” Buffy called into the huge chamber she found. It seemed to be an altar, centered on a large chair that faced away from her. She watched as a figure stood up from the chair and turned to face her.
“Slayer,” He rasped.
“Wow. You’re ugly,” Buffy said with a smirk as she approached the vampire.
“And you’re about to be quite dead,” he replied bemusedly. “And the most glorious part of this entire episode is that you have no idea that I knew of you…that you would come to me…and that you are destined to die by my hand. Albeit, I didn’t expect this so soon.”
Buffy looked bored. “We could listen to you yap for a while longer, or I could just use my handy little stake here to make you dust,” she offered.
“Try it.” He held out a hand and she was forcefully pulled towards him though her body struggled against his magic. Suddenly he was behind her, grabbing her around her chin and arms. He whispered into her ear, “This was inevitable, Slayer. It is your destiny.” Holding her down as his fangs sunk into her neck. He drank for a few moments, until she was so weak she couldn’t move, then let her drop, falling facedown into a pool of sewer water.
“Mmm,” he said. “Slayer blood. Tasty…like a cocktail, with a kick.” He stepped forward with a gleeful expression, and continued walking out of what had, until now, once been his prison.
“The Master killed you,” Angel said, his voice quiet.
“I didn’t even last a week in Sunnydale!” Buffy pouted.
“I think that’s enough,” Angel said.
“No, Angel. We still haven’t seen what happens to you,” Cordelia argued.
Angel sighed. “Fine…but I’m telling you now…if it gets worse, that’s it. It’s over.
“Very well,” Jackter said, continuing the vision.