The group stood, stunned, after witnessing the horror that was Spike’s alternate life.
Jackter turned to them wearily. “Who is next?”
“Next?!” Xander cried, half-hysterical. “Why in the hell would anyone want to do this after seeing that?!”
“That was…insane,” Buffy murmured, putting a comforting arm around Dawn. Angel glanced at her worriedly, but she gave him a small smile.
Spike had the good graces to look sheepish. “Look, it didn’t happen. This is the life I’m in. This is the life I chose.”
Gunn snorted. “Yeah, but only because in the other one you and Drusilla kicked the bucket.”
Spike glared at him. “That’s not true!”
“Oh yeah, you did it because you realized that what you’ve got here is so much more special,” Xander mocked, clutching a hand to his heart.
“You don’t know anything about me, Harris, or you, Shaft,” Spike bit out.
Gunn’s eyebrows flew up. “Oh no you didn't. Shaft? You got a problem with me, boy?"
Spike's chin came up. "I'm getting one."
"Why don't we do something about that?" Gunn asked, shifting his stance.
"You don't have the ba--"
“I’d like to see,” Cordelia interrupted them, stepping forward to face Jackter. “I want to know.”
Jackter looked into her eyes. “What do you wish to see?”
The group was silent, watching her. She looked at each of them, then back into the demon’s eyes.
“Wait!” Anya broke in suddenly. “Just…don’t ask anything about life without a Slayer. Trust me on this one. You won’t like how that one turns out for you.” She looked at Xander. “Or for you.” Making eye contact with Buffy, then Willow, and finally Angel, she sighed. “Or any of you either.”
Cordelia looked at her strangely but turned back to Jackter without saying a word.
“I’d like to see what my life would have been like if I hadn’t gone to LA to become an actress. If I hadn’t joined up with Angel, and Gunn, and Wesley and Fred.” The brunette swallowed bravely. “I want to know what my life would be like now if my parents hadn’t lost their money.”
“That’s your wish?” Gunn asked, raising an eyebrow at her. “Don’t you wanna know what would have happened if you hadn’t gotten the visions?”
Cordelia smiled at him gently. “Oh, please. Do you know how many chances I’ve had to get rid of the visions? I’ve chosen them every time. I’d like to see something different for a change.”
“All right, all right,” Jackter said, scowling. He turned to the fire.
Cinder and ash, flame and fire
‘Tis the other’s life to see we desire
Two roads before us, but one to take
Show the other, the choice not made.
The group crowded around the fire to see Cordelia, smiling, lounging beside a pool.
“I’m liking this already,” Cordelia muttered happily.
*~*~*
FLASH
*~*~*
The summer after high school graduation.
Things were good. She’d graduated from high school. Check that--she’d survived high school…and the Mayor, and the period of loser that was known as Xander Harris…and she was college-bound. Brown University, get ready for Cordelia Chase.
“Daddy?” she called through the open patio door, to the tall man standing at the kitchen counter. Mr. Chase came out, taking a sip of his brandy, smiling at his only daughter.
“Yes, dear?” he asked her, looking around is grounds happily.
“Did you get everything settled with the IRS?”
“Of course, dear,” Mr. Chase said, laughing heartily. “Were you afraid I wouldn’t be able to, and we’d lose our house or something?”
“Of course not!” Cordelia said. “We’re Chases.”
“Of course,” smiled Mr. Chase.
*~*~*
“That’s what your dad’s like?” Willow said, hiding a smile.
“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?” Cordy replied haughtily.
“No. No problem. He just seems a little…country club cliché.”
“He is,” Cordy said with a grin. “Where do you think I got it?”
“Of course,” Willow said, giggling.
*~*~*
Life was good. She loved Brown and was actually doing pretty well in her Fashion Merchandising courses. As an experienced junior she ruled the campus, and headed up two of the most prestigious organizations, as well as being the Activities Coordinator for her sorority. And best of all, she wasn’t putting her life on the line every night fighting demons and then fighting stains on her clothing the next day. Sunnydale was far behind her.
And…she was finally going on a date with a great guy, not one of the sub-standard losers that seemed to flock in her direction. He was rich and handsome, and he and his parents lived in LA. He attended Brown with her, as a Finance major, and his parents were members of all the right circles. And tonight…tonight was going to be the night. She just knew it. Tonight she was going to go out with The One. The man she would marry…she felt it in her bones.
As she was picking the perfect outfit from her immense selection the phone rang. “Cordelia Chase,” she replied, picking the receiver up and placing it against her ear.
“Cordelia? Hey, it’s Aura. What are you doing tonight?”
Ah, Aura. The only friend from high school she still talked to—but probably only because Aura was also a Brown student. “I have a date with Marc Roberts, remember?” Cordy said snottily.
“Oh, right! I forgot! Sorry. Listen, I was wondering if I’d be able to borrow your blue dress with the bow on the back? For tomorrow night?”
“My blue dress? My new blue dress?” Cordelia asked, doubt in her voice. “Sorry, Aura, but until I’ve worn it once or twice, no one can be seen in it. I have a really cute pink one from a couple of months ago…you could probably squeeze into that.”
“Oh. Well, okay then. Thanks, Cordy. Can I pick it up tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Cordelia hung the phone up and rolled her eyes, then went to the closet and pulled out her new blue dress. She took off the red one she’d picked out and slipped into the blue one, smiling. “Perfect.”
The doorbell rang as she was applying her lipstick. “Sarah?” she called to the housekeeper Daddy has insisted she have (and that Cordy hadn’t objected to). “Get the door for me, will you?”
“Yes, Miss Chase,” Sarah called. Cordy hummed to herself as she slipped her shoes on, grabbed her handbag, and headed down the stairs.
“You look stunning, Cordy,” Marc said, kissing her on the cheek when she arrived downstairs.
Cordy gave him her best smile. “I know, thanks. Ready to go?”
“Sure,” Marc smiled, and the two headed out.
It might have been their first date, but it certainly wasn’t their last. Cordelia and Marc dated for a year before he finally took her on a beautiful cruise. Under the stars, he got down on one knee, and looked up into her dark eyes.
“Cordelia, over the past year, I’ve grown to fall so much in love with you that I don’t think I can stop. You’re the perfect woman for me. You know how to behave at my business dinners, you’re beautiful, you make me happy. We look good together. You’ll make a perfect partner for me when I’m a stock-broker. Will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?” Cordelia, of course, agreed, and the two were married in an extravagant ceremony in June. All of Los Angeles society was there, and the wedding went off without a hitch.
*~*~*
“You just up and married him? The first guy you see?” Angel asked carefully, looking over at Cordy. She glared at him.
“He’s rich, and handsome, and perfect for me! I like this! No demon-killing, no migraines, no chipped nails…it’s perfect! And he wasn’t the first guy I saw…did you see that whole period where that lackbrain in my Fabrics class was drooling all over me?”
“Well, it’s just that, what do we really know about this guy? A stockbroker in LA? He could deal with Wolfram and Hart! Maybe he’s a demon who wanted to eat your ex-boyfriends’ brains! Or impregnate you with his demon spawn.” Angel’s voice trailed off as he realized how protective he was being.
“You’re a strange man,” Cordy said, lifting a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. “A very strange man.”
*~*~*
Cordy walked into her large house, her arms full of shopping bags. She looked at her watch, and saw that Marc wouldn’t be home for another five hours, at least. The one drawback to having a rich husband was that he was a workaholic, and worked long hours every day. But she got to spend his money. Marc had insisted that she not work but instead concentrate on fixing up their house so it was suitable to be photographed, so she was okay with it. But sometimes there was only so much shopping you could do…Cordelia shook her head, trying to get that thought out of her brain. Shame on you! she scolded herself.
The phone rang, and she picked it up. “Cordelia Roberts,” she said primly.
“Mrs. Roberts? This is DSL delivery. We have a rather large package here for you, and we just wanted to call to make sure you were at home before we dropped it off. Is now a good time?”
“Sure,” she replied happily. This had to be her new hot tub. It was early, which she didn’t mind at all. She could go for a nice long soak tonight.
She hung up the phone and moved over to the answering machine. No messages. That was fine, she didn’t usually get messages while she was out. She was so rich that people thought she didn’t have time to talk. So she just called them.
She picked the phone up again, and dialed a number.
“Hey, Aura?” she said into the phone when the other woman answered.
“Cordy, hi. Listen, I can’t talk. Jenny just spit up all over my shirt, and I’m trying to make dinner for Frank. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Oh, sure. Bye,” Cordy said into the phone, but Aura had already hung up. That was fine, she’d call someone else.
But everyone was out, or busy, or she had nothing to say to them.
In a last ditch effort, she picked up the phone and dialed.
“Hi, may I please speak with Harmony?” she asked when the call was answered.
Even that was a bust. Apparently Harmony had disappeared right after high school graduation. Huh. Weird.
But the arrival of the hot tub, and the cute delivery man, distracted her from her phone calls. Setup would take a bit, so she went over to the TV. She sat with a bowl of unbuttered popcorn and watched a movie by herself until it was finished, then changed into her bikini and settled herself in the hot tub with a glass of white wine, luxuriating in the bubbling water.
After an hour in the hot tub, she got out and padded up the stairs to her bedroom. She glanced at the clock, and noticed that it was almost ten at night. Marc should be home within the hour, and then maybe they could have a romantic hour before he had to sleep to be up early for work in the morning. She slid into a sexy little silver slip dress and dabbed perfume behind her ears and into her cleavage, then settled in to wait.
Marc came home at 11:15, and Cordy sidled up to him.
“Hey, honey,” she purred, kissing his cheek. He kissed her back quickly before loosening his tie and putting his briefcase down.
“Hi, Cordy. Did you have a good day?”
“I was bored, but now you’re here. Want to entertain me?”
“Hon, I’d love to, but I’ve got some paperwork. Why don’t you go on up to sleep, and I’ll just crawl in when I’m done. I don’t want to keep you up.” With that, he was gone into his office, and Cordy sagged. She went up to their bedroom, and slipped into some flannel pajamas. She crawled into the king-sized bed, leaving lots of room for Marc, because he liked to have room when he slept, curled up into a ball on her side, and drifted off to sleep.
*~*~*
“This is depressing,” Cordelia muttered. “Hel-lo! I look totally hot in that silver Victoria’s Secret nightie! And…I don’t have a job? Why aren’t I working? Like hell I’d just sit around and wait on him all damn night, even if I was getting a hot tub installed.”
*~*~*
And so her life continued. Marc went to work, she attended society meetings and played tennis.
*~*~*
“I don’t even like tennis,” she grumbled.
*~*~*
Marc came home one night to find Cordelia sitting in the living room, waiting for him.
“You’re still up?” he asked, surprised. He sifted through the mail and picked up the phone to check his messages. Once done he walked to her and kissed her on the forehead, then yawned and bid her good night.
“I’ve got golf at 7:30 tomorrow morning,” he grinned. “If I let Herb Kremlar win, I think I’m going to get a hot stock tip.”
Cordelia looked at him evenly. “Marc, I’m bored.”
He cocked his head at her. “Bored? Go to bed! It’s late.”
She sighed. “No, I’m bored in general. I don’t do anything. The house has been perfect for months, I hate my meetings and I suck at tennis. I want to use my degree.”
“Honey,” he said to her simply. “You don’t want to work in retail…as a shopgirl? You’ll have to work weekends and holidays…there’ll be snobby, screaming customers and girls with daddy’s money who come in to order you around.”
Now she glared at him. “I know. I used to be one of those girls. And no, I don’t want to be a shopgirl. I want to do something with my degree. Work for a designer, be a fashion consultant. Something I’m good at and that I enjoy. And that will get me out of this frickin’ house!” she said, the volume of her voice rising.
Marc raised an eyebrow. “You’re just getting upset now. You know that’s not good for you. Why don’t you join another charity?”
“And do what? Just write checks? I can do that from my house, Marc. I don’t need to attend meetings for that. I want to work. I want to do something.”
He rolled his eyes and sat on the ottoman in front of her. “What do you want to do? You know I don’t like the idea of you working. The wives that we run with don’t work. Do you want to be singled out?”
“Yes!” she cried. “I’m Cordelia! I’m supposed to be singled out, in the spotlight. I’m not just your wife!”
“Cordelia,” he warned gently. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I don’t think I like it.”
Her eyes bulged. “You don’t like it?”
“No,” he sniffed. “I don’t think I do. I’m going to bed. I suggest you do the same. I’m sure you’ll find that in the morning you’re thinking much more clearly.” He turned on his heel and walked away.
“Marc, what about children?” she called after him.
Marc stopped but didn’t turn around. After a pause he kept going.
*~*~*
“This isn’t the Cordelia I remember,” Dawn mused, slightly entertained at what she was watching in the dancing flames.
Cordelia shook her head. “No…no it’s not.”
*~*~*
Her last meeting of the day had been cancelled. Thank God. Wearily Cordelia stepped out of her car and thanked George the driver as she staggered into the house, a good three hours earlier than she’d expected. I’m going to lounge in that tub for a solid hour, she thought to herself as she dropped bags and briefcase on the kitchen counter.
Walking up the plushly carpeted stairs she pushed open the door to her bedroom…to find it occupied.
“Oh my God,” she gasped.
“Cordelia!” Marc cried, trying to untangle himself from the buxom redhead beneath him.
Cordy turned and walked out of the room.
The divorce was a long process, mainly because she had no real funds of her own. The trust her parents had set up for her had to be broken and in the end she was awarded very little money, mainly due to the prenuptial agreement she’d blindly signed before marrying Marc.
Sitting in her tiny new apartment, Cordelia Chase, having taken back her maiden name, reevaluated her life. Not the best ten years of my life, she admitted. I’ve done nothing. I have no money, I have no husband, and no friends. She glanced around at the bare walls and peeling wallpaper. I live *here.* And…I think this place is haunted.
And now she needed groceries. Sighing, she picked up her bag and walked out onto the street, running right into a man going the opposite way. She lost her balance and went tumbling to the ground. Sputtering she brushed herself off and looked up.
“Angel?”
*~*~*
“I think I’ve seen enough,” Cordelia said.
Jackter smiled at her. “And which life do you choose? Do you choose to live in this world, or in that one?”
Cordelia glanced at Angel. “I would have met up with you eventually, huh?”
“Often times, fate works to correct itself, no matter what you do,” Jackter told her sagely.
Cordy grinned. “I’ll take the sooner, rather than the later. More near-death experiences, but by far easier than being that other girl. That Cordelia was not me. I choose this life.”
“What?” Spike barked. “Are you daft? You could be rich, and married, and you wouldn’t have to look at the Pouf’s caveman brow every day!”
“Did you see how bored I was? Like I want to be bored. I’d much rather fight demons and be interested in my life than be a puttery little housewife. Although, if I can keep the money…?” she looked imploringly at Jackter, who rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Right. Okay. I choose this life.”
“Very well,” Jackter replied. He glanced around at the group, expectantly.
