*Author’s Note: Once the flashback begins, the parts in regular font are of the present. The parts in BOLD are the alternate life.

They stood surrounding the campfire, unable to believe what the demon was asking them. No one spoke.

Finally Jackter sighed heavily. “Come on…I can’t leave you until you tell me what you want to know…unless you don’t want to know…” he added, hopefully.

“Could you go over it again?” Wesley requested.

Jackter’s eyes moved to his. “Are you all dense? Haven’t you ever wondered, ‘hey, if I hadn’t met so and so…where would I be right now?’ It’s like that. You ask, I show you…then you decide which life you like best.”

“So since we found you, we get this wish-thing? What’s the catch?” Xander asked.

Gunn turned to him. “Big catch. What if your other life’s great and you decide you want that one? Or, worse, what if it’s not great? What if you’re dead, or if you’re blind, or…a garbage man or something?”

“Could make you really appreciate the life you’ve got now,” Angel said quietly, “Or make you hate it.”

“You have the option of not seeing,” Jackter told them again. “Honestly, I’d prefer that. Anything to get you people to leave me alone so I can find Harry.”

Spike had been quiet since Jackter had announced his gift. It intrigued him. What would his life had been like if he’d never come to Sunnydale? Or if he hadn’t helped Buffy defeat Angelus so many years ago? What if he and Drusilla were still traveling the world…or if he hadn’t been turned at all?

But honestly, given the past few years…he didn’t care about any of that. Being a vampire was what he knew. His former life, his mortal life, had been one of misery. William the Bloody Awful Poet, living in the age that he had, would have died of typhoid or scarlet fever, or worse, would have lived to a ripe old age as the pathetic wimp he’d been.

Spike adjusted the collar on his jacket and stepped up to Jackter. “I’ve got one for you. I want to know, to see. What would have happened if I’d never gotten this chip in my brain?”

“That’s what you want to know?!” Xander cried.

Spike turned to him. “Well, what do you expect?” he cried defensively. “That I’d ask what my life had been like if I’ve never met you, Harris?” He snorted. “Or that I’d ask what my life would have been like if I’d never met Dru? Never got bit? I can tell you what that would have been like, mate. Misery. Being a vampire’s all I’ve ever been good at. It’s who I am, who I’ve been for the past hundred years. But now that I’ve got this chip, I’m not even really that. It’s the world’s worst identity crisis. So yeah, that’s what I want to know.”

Jackter sighed. “Very well.” He approached the fire and began to speak.

Cinder and ash, flame and fire

‘Tis the other’s life to see we desire

Two roads before us, but one to take

Show the other, the choice not made.

*FLASH!*

*Two years earlier, Sunnydale University Campus.*

Buffy was fighting a vampire as Spike watched from the hill above. “Thanks for the relocate,” she taunted her opponent. “I perform better without an audience. You were thinking, what, a little helpless coed before bed? You know very well, you eat this late...” With one quick motion she staked him cleanly through the heart. “You’re gonna get heartburn. Get it? Heartburn?” She dusts and gets no reaction from the vamp as she does so. “That’s it? That’s all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought-out puns. I don’t think the forces of darkness are even trying. I mean, you could make a little effort here, you know? Give me something to work with.”

Spike stood on the hillside, watching her. “Watch your mouth, little girl. You should know better than to tempt the fates that way. ’Cause the big bad is back, And this time, it’s…” Suddenly he heard the sound of a twig snapping from behind him. Instinct told him not to look back and he threw himself headfirst down the hill, tumbling limb over limb until he collapsed at the bottom. Throwing his weight into it he jumped to his feet and took off running, looking back only when he was sure he wasn’t being chased.

“Ruined a perfectly good monologue…Slayer’s got that right…bloody town never lets you get your jollies.”

He dusted himself off and took out his pack of smokes, lighting one up and going on his merry way.

It was later that he learned what was following him in the woods that night. The underworld talked, especially when it concerned the Slayer, but most especially when it came to other, new things that were stalking the evil and the undead. The Commandos, the Army boys…anyone in fatigues was to be feared. Dozens of vamps and demons were getting taken night after night, to where, no one knew. It was rumored they were being taken to a secret lab, having experiments done. Spike vowed not to be one of them.

And then there was the monster, Adam. Spike had heard enough, the bloke thought he bloody owned the town and planned to make it known soon enough. Recruiting his armies, he was. Spike was having none of it. “He can have this town,” he spat one night, returning to his crypt after having a gleeful time annoying the Slayer and her pals. Not as much fun without Angel to torment, but seeing as how his visit to Los Angeles had ended badly, like everything in his life as of late, Spike wasn’t losing any sleep over it.

He’d said it before, this town was cursed for him. And it was time he got on with his life, saw the sights, took the tours. Tormenting Buffy and the Superfriends was fun enough, but Sunnydale had nothing to offer him, sorry excuse for a Hellmouth that it was. He needed a change in scenery.

No time like the present. Hopping a train he made his way across the state. Vegas. He’d always wanted to see Vegas and had never made it there. Now was as good a time as any. There were bound to be plenty of people to eat there…and lots of ruckus to stir up. He grinned delightfully at the thought of it.

Vegas proved to be everything he’d wanted. He gambled, he drank, and he drank on a nightly basis, enjoying all that the city offered. Also, he liked the act with the tigers. Someday, he just knew it, one of those giant beasts was going to get tired of taking orders from those pansies in the white jumpsuits and there would be a grand old massacre. He hadn’t remembered having so much fun when he’d been traveling the world with Angelus, Darla and Drusilla.

Drusilla…Dru would adore Las Vegas. All the lights…the confusion…the people. Perhaps it was time to look her up.

It took some doing, first locating her, then convincing her to even speak with him again, which included a bit of groveling on his part, not to mention some torture (which Drusilla adored), but a few weeks later she was at his side. Spike and Dru, together again.

“Darling!” she exclaimed as he drove her down the strip in his De Soto. “It’s simply marvelous!”

He grinned at her. “Yeah…it is, isn’t it?”

Dru scooted closer to him on the leather seat and lay her head on his shoulder. “The lights, the energy! It’s like a carnival…a big, shiny carnival, with rides and prizes…and lots of goodies to eat. We’re going to have fun, aren’t we Spike?” she purred, running a finger up his arm.

“Don’t we always?”

“It won’t be like last time, dearie.”

“What’s that, luv?”

“No distractions this time…not like before,” she said, patting his chest.

Spike tensed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Caw…you surely do. I know I remember well…she broke up our family…took my dear Angel away from me again. And she made you her puppy.”

“Hey!” he cried, gripping her hand tightly. “I’m no one’s bleedin’ dog, least of all the Slayer’s.”

Drusilla looked at him with wide eyes. “You didn’t mind playing the pouch for me…remember…Spike?” she asked him coyly.

Spike grinned sinisterly as he pulled the car over into a parking space. “I remember, luv. But a lesson now and then never did any harm, did it?”

***

Spike grinned as he watched the scene play out in front of him. “Feeding again, causing mayhem…back with Dru…this is what I’m missing with this forsaken chip in my head!” he cried, thumping his skull.

Jackter watched him. “Wait until it plays out,” he said sagely.

Spike snorted. “And best of all, no Harmony, no Sunnydale…and none of the lot of you,” he told the group, but without much feeling.

***

It was like old times as Spike and Drusilla made Las Vegas theirs. As they did in each town they’d ever visited for an extended period, a gang was soon formed, and plans were quickly made. They robbed, destroyed, devastated, and killed.

But it wasn’t enough.

It was tedious.

It was easy.

It was downright boring.

“I need the fight, Dru!” Spike shouted at her.

“We do fight, my sweet. The pretty people, they struggle and we take them, we make them our slaves…our supper.”

“You know what I mean…it’s too easy here…half the folks are stupid drunk and the others are just careless! We’ve got the money, we’ve got the riches…we need more,” he told her.

Drusilla regarded him with her vacant eyes. Walking to a lighted candle on the table she stared into the flame. “The fire, it dances for me. It says the Slayer is calling to you.”

Spike’s eyes snapped up at the mention of the Slayer. “What are you prattling on about?”

Dru began to walk lazily around the room. “You’ll go…back to that place…back where it meant death for us…”

“Back to Sunnyhell? Whatever for?”

“There’s something there for you…unfinished business. Men, lots of handsome strangers…hunting us…and the Slayer…she helps them…”

The Commandos.

“What’s there for me, luv? What do you see?”

“Together…we’ll go together. And we’ll finish your business, my sweet Spike. Then you can be free of that place…and of her,” Drusilla told him, taking his arms in hers and dancing him around the room in slow, loopy turns.

“If we go back to Sunnydale…we’ll be free of the Slayer?” he asked her excitedly.

Drusilla opened her eyes and smiled at him. “I’ll take the wand and bibbity-bobbity-boo!” she cried, tapping her finger on his nose.

Spike had, as usual, no idea what Drusilla was talking about. But the thought of killing the Slayer…it got his blood up. It was exciting…and deep down, he knew it was he was always meant to do. Another notch on his belt. Smashing his lips to hers he dragged Dru to the bed and tossed her down, kissing her passionately.

***

As he’d done twice before, Spike drove the De Soto past the “Welcome to Sunnydale” sign and cringed. Even with Drusilla’s portent, this place made his skin crawl. But this time…this time he intended for things to be different.

It had been months, seven months to be exact, since he’d driven like a bat from hell straight out of that town. When he left this time, he planned to do it leisurely…to enjoy it.

Vampires were occupying his old crypt, he discovered, but he made quick work of them. Work for him or die now. A few newbies, ignorant and disrespectful to their elders were dusted quickly, Spike with a smile on his face, thrilled to be back in the fight.

The last to go was a pretty blonde thing who yammered on and on about being able to help him, because she knew the Slayer, had gone to high school with her and they were like this, fingers crossed, then begging him not to ruin her designer sweater. Spike had taken great pleasure in staking her.

***

“I actually did it!” Spike crowed. “Harmony…dusted by good old Spike! It’s about bleedin’ time!”

***

Word spread quickly that Spike and Drusilla were back in town. What members of his gang were left regrouped, bringing stragglers with them that were able to allude the Commandos, or the Initiative, as Spike learned they were actually called. ‘Ponces’ seemed a better term to him.

“Lads, and lasses,” he called out one night as they drank on wine and listened to song. It’s come to my attention that we have a bit of a problem here in Sunnydale. Besides the Slayer…we’ve got some Army Brats to deal with, and that mix-and-match ogre Adam that seems to think he owns the whole bloody place. Well, let me tell you, friends. I was here first. I was tormenting the hell out of the Slayer before he even had all his body parts. But we’ve also got something, or will soon, that they don’t have…that they’ve likely never even heard of…”

“What?” one of his minions called.

Spike grinned. “Across town, in the home of a highly celebrated occult historian, has just been delivered the Wand of Celester,” he said importantly, glancing around the room.

Silence.

“What’s that?” someone called.

Spike rolled his eyes, his shoulders drooping. “Are any of you here over the age of five?! The Wand of Celester! The tool that yields the power to drain the umph right out of anyone…including Slayers…and G.I. Joe soldiers.”

“It can kill the Slayer?”

Spike glared at the vampires in front of him. Walking to the one who’d spoken he took him by the arms and lifted him up. “What it can do, you ninny, is make her vulnerable…and therefore, killable. One touch of the wand, say the magic word…and zap…bye bye super-Betty, hello delicious Power Bar with a ponytail.”

“And then…I’ll be queen,” Drusilla purred, skipping around the room.

Spike smiled at her, releasing his captive. “The prettiest damn queen I’ve ever seen,” he told her, kissing her roughly.

“And we’ll have a party…with music and candles and song and drinks…and dancing…I do love to dance, don’t you know…back and forth, and spinning and spinning and spinning…” Drusilla began to dance around the room, twirling around and around as Spike sat back and enjoyed the thought of killing the Slayer.

***

That night Spike ordered the raid on the historian’s home.

“How are we going to get in?” one minion asked.

Spike smiled at him simply. “Watch and learn.” Walking to the backyard he jumped the fence and returned with a small dog. He strode to the front door and knocked. After a moment a very sleepy man answered the door.

“Yes?” he asked, confused.

Spike grinned and held up the dog. “I think this might belong to you.”

The historian’s eyes flew open. “Ginger! How--how did you get out? I swear…I’m always leaving that gate open…oh, thank you so much, sir.”

“No problem at all…I’m just glad I was walking by and saw her running about. Cute little thing, in’t she?” he asked, ruffling the dogs’ ears.

The historian grinned. “She’s my baby. Well, I must reward you…please…uh, excuse me, I was sleeping…but, come in, come in! I’m sure I can find something for you.”

“Oh no, sir. I don’t need anything, I’m just glad she’s back safe and sound.”

The historian turned. “Nonsense. Come on….I’ve got a few dollars around here.”

Spike grinned as the historian turned his back and walked into the house. Spike followed. Morphing into game face he waited until the historian turned back, then he pounced. Within moments it was over.

With the death came the universal invitation. The vampire gang flooded the house, ripping it apart to find the Wand. Drusilla walked into the home and looked around, her gaze falling on a painting on the wall. Stepping to it she removed the painting from the wall and revealed a safe door.

“Boys,” she called, clapping her hands.

Spike had come prepared. A few squirts of acid around the perimeter of the safe and the door fell to his feet. Reaching in, he removed the Wand.

“Can we try it out?” Drusilla asked, bouncing on her heels. “Can we?”

Spike grinned. Touching it to the vampire closest to him he murmured, “Behold,” and a light flashed. The vampire looked stunned for a moment, then fell to the floor, weak.

“Now see…normally shooting a vampire won’t do much but maybe cancel an evening’s plans,” he told the group, producing a gun from his waistband. “But with the Wand…” he aimed and shot.

The vampire slumped over, dead.

Drusilla and Spike grinned at each other wickedly. “Let’s go look up an old friend, shall we?”

***

“Anyone here not surprised that the first thing Spike wants to do is try to kill us all?” Xander asked.

“Shut up, lackey,” Spike shot back, and went back to staring into the fire.

***

He found her where she always was…fighting in the cemetery, with a guy he didn’t know, but took to be one of the militia types, given the fatigues he wore. Xander and Willow were with them, the witch fervently trying to cast a spell.

“Slayer!” he shouted, interrupting the fight with the Klogdah demon she’d been battling.

Buffy faltered for a moment and looked up, her eyes widening at the sight of him. “Not now, Spike,” she cried, ducking a punch as the army kid jumped on its back.

“Buffy!” Xander called, and tossed her a long sword, which she promptly used to take out the demon’s legs. It fell to the ground, shrieking in pain, and she quickly finished it off.

That done, Buffy walked warily over to Spike, who stood alone against the backdrop of the woods. “I thought I made it clear that you were never to come back to my town,” she said to him, her voice low and dangerous.

“Who’s that?” Riley asked Xander.

“Spike…vampire. Someone Buffy’s going to be killing in about thirty seconds, so no time for introductions,” he replied, taking a stake from his waistband.

Spike smirked at her. “Yeah, I seem to recall you telling me that a few times. Thing is, I got this short attention span. That, and I seem to get fixated on certain things more than I should. Like killing you.”

“Ooh, scary. Whatcha gonna do, Spike? You, all alone, and me, with three back-ups,” Buffy taunted.

Spike glanced back at the boy, Xander and Willow. “Yeah. Witness me not quivering in my boots. And what makes you think I’m alone?” he asked her, as his gang slowly appeared in the brush, surrounding them. “Oh…and I brought someone special with me…someone I’m sure you’ll remember well.”

Drusilla approached them from behind.

Buffy swallowed hard as she took in the site of the vampire gang and Dru. “Remember, yes. Fondly, no.”

“Oh,” Spike said, as an afterthought, “and I’ve got a new magic trick up my sleeve.” With that he produced the Wand.

Buffy wasted no time and flipped herself backwards, landing squarely in front of Riley and the others. “We could use a little Commando help,” she told him, and Riley promptly got on his radio, calling in their coordinates. Help was on the way, but for now, the fight was on. Spike ran at Buffy with the Wand while the vampires emerged and pounced. Several were taken out initially by Willow, Xander and Riley, who fought them off as best they could but there were too many of them. Riley went down first, the Wand draining his powers, then Spike draining his blood.

“Riley!” Buffy shrieked, staking a vampire and rushing to his side. She knelt, cradling his head in her lap, amid all the chaos around her, but it was too late. He was gone.

A squad of Initiative soldiers suddenly burst onto the scene, decked out in full camouflage and toting serious weaponry. Within minutes they had helped to severely cut down the vampire’s numbers, when suddenly a flood of demons joined the mix. And standing proudly, overseeing it all, was Adam.

Willow was grabbed from behind by a Meltzar demon. Xander rushed in to save her, knocking the demon to the ground, only to have Willow roll right into the waiting arms of Drusilla. “Nighty-night, dearie,” she told the witch before sinking her teeth into Willow’s waiting neck.

***

“Oh my God,” Buffy whispered, watching the scene unfolding in front of her with horror. “Riley, Willow.”

“It’s madness,” Cordelia gasped.

“YES!” Spike cried, jumping up and down. “Take that Captain Cardboard! Why would I not pick this world! Sign me up!” He caught Willow’s horrified expression. “But, terribly sorry ‘bout you, Red.”

***

Willow and Riley were dead and Xander was still fighting as best he could, aided largely in part by the Commandos who were now storming the woods. But for every soldier that joined the fight, another vampire appeared.

Buffy and Xander were left alone with Spike, Drusilla, and several vampires. They had managed to work their ways to the outskirts of the larger battle taking place to the left, directed by Adam.

Shaken, Buffy tried to mentally regroup. And then Slayer-anger took over. Delivering a roundhouse kick she knocked one vamp to the ground, staking him, then another as he rushed to her. Drusilla let out a shriek and ran in to attack, only to meet the sharp end of a stake in Xander’s hand. He’d come out of nowhere. Her dust floated around Buffy as she sprang to her feet, and Spike let out a guttural yell.

“Drrruuuu!!!” he roared, and rushed Buffy, knocking her to the ground. The Wand was held tightly in his right hand as he growled at her. “You’re going to die, Slayer…but not quickly. In fact, it will never be slow enough. Be--”

Buffy didn’t answer him. Instead she managed to pull a knee up, wedging it in between her body and Spike’s, and kicked out. Spike was lifted off her long enough for him to lose his grip on the Wand and send it rolling…and for Buffy to wedge a stake up into his heart. Nonplussed Buffy jumped to her feet.

“Xander, run!” she ordered, but of course, Xander refused to leave her. Grabbing the closest discarded weapon he remained at her side. The Commandos were holding their own against Adam’s army and Buffy ran in to help. In the middle of fighting a Pu-tan demon she was stabbed by an unseen foe from behind.

“You lose, Slayer,” Adam told her. Buffy looked down to see one of Adam’s sharp talons in her gut. With a twist, he ended her life.

***

“NOOOOOO!” Spike cried, falling to his knees in front of the fire as the scene faded from the flames.

Everyone was silent, everyone was pale. Dawn was crying. Buffy crumpled to the ground, stunned at the changes that she’d seen. Finally, Jackter spoke. “What do you choose?”

Spike didn’t answer him, his eyes focused on the flames, a lost expression covering his face.

“What do you choose?” Jackter repeated.

Spike’s eyes ticked to his. “What do you think?” he asked him bitterly. “I’m staying put.”

Jackter nodded. Turning to the rest of the group he looked at them solemnly. “Who is next?”

Chapter 2 - Cordelia
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