William John Peniston

PENISTON, WILLIAM J., on Wed., Oct. 21, 1998, beloved husband of Mickey Peniston, dear father of Bradley Peniston, Christy (Jeff) Meyer and James Peniston, uncle of Dave and Dan Ross. Memorial service at Clayton United Methodist Church, 101 N. Bemiston, Sat., 10 a.m. Interment Ham's Prairie Cemetery, Ham's Prairie, MO, Sun. 12:30 p.m. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to Clayton United Methodist Church, 101 N. Bemiston, 63105 or the American Cancer Society, 4207 Lindell Blvd., St. Louis, 63108. LUPTON CHAPEL SERVICE. (Pub. 10/23/98)

Wednesday, October 21, 1998

Bill and Mickey have lived for many years almost directly across the street from the Philpotts - just one house to the west. As I mentioned to some of you our renunion evening, I had a wonderful 20 minute visit with Bill, Mickey and their oldest son, Bradley (there is also Christy and Jamie), before joining our reunion gathering. That evening, and the following Wednesday afternoon when Jer and I spent half an hour with him, Bill retained his powerful and quite demeanor, almost hiding how much effort it was taking to be that way. Pain pretty much kept him in a wheelchair. When a phone call came in, his voice was steady, and I'm sure the person on the other end had little idea that Bill was any different than he had ever been. Such was the magic of his presence that one felt joyful just to be with him! ...Tom Bitting

From: "William C. Bitting"
To: "George C. Bitting"
Cc: "Alex & Shirley Weissenborn"
Subject: WJP ..powerful service
Date: Sat, 24 Oct 1998 17:55:56 -0500

Dear Jer,

A powerful and moving service, with eulogies by nephew Dave Ross, Don Pruett, Gordon Philpott, Charlie Duncker, Bradley Peniston and Jamie Peniston. All were most impressive and very touching. Nephew Dan Ross read several scripture passages. Amazing Grace was one of the hymns. I sat next to Terry Franc. Bradley Peniston had put together a collage of photos which was in the entrance to the church, much like Billy had done for Ken. They were a joy to see. Bill's spirit was everywhere.

Themes were of his devoted love to Mickey, and his children, sister and nephews - his sons and nephew made this so clear. Apparently he told Mickey every day how happy he was in his love for her, and in every way was most loving and encouraging to his children, his new son-in-law, sister and nephews. From Don, Gordon, and Dunk, a focus on his quiet demeanor, inner fortitude, athletic gift, powerful friendships, kindness and consideration at all times for all, modesty, and grace. Beautiful day.

love, Tom

two eulogies

don pruett

Last week I spoke at Sandy McDonald’s funeral. Today I speak for Bill — two of my closests friends. I have known Penes for a long time. He came to John Burroughs as a sophmore from Matoon, Illinois. I asked him many times how that came about, and with the hint of a probable knowing smile, he would shrug his shoulders and say he didn't know. My guess is that it probably didn't hurt that he was one of the best football players around.

I really didn't get to know Penes until our junior year. He played varsity sports from day one, but I had to wait my time until junior year. We both played in the backfield in football. We had some incredible sports experiences along with Charlie Duncker, Gordon Philpott and others — experiences which I will cherish forever.

We went on to Yale and played freshman football and roomed together for four years, and also were in the same social fratnerity. He was in my wedding in Miami, and we have played golf and poker together ever since high school. Needless to say, Penes has been an integral part of my life.

In our senior year in high school, Penes separated his shoulder on the opening kick-off and was out the rest of the year. He was elected co-captain at the end of the season and that’s called respect — and that continued the rest of his life.

In basketball we played a team called Puxico. Four of their five starters received major college basketball scholarships and two went on to the pros. We played them before a packed house at the old Washington University Field House. With 30 seconds left to play, we were behind by one point, and it was none other than Bill Peniston who stole the ball allowing Charlie Duncker to score the winning basket. Penes was gutsy, he was determined. He never gave up and you could count on him — and that continued the rest of his life.

Down through the years we played golf together every Sunday. One day he developed a horrible, debilitating pain in his back and shoulder which prevented him from swinging the club. Not content with sitting on the sidelines, he played with one arm and did amazingly well I might add. But in short, he was stoic — he never complained of pain and he never asked for sympathy — and that continued for the rest of his life.

Penes was not flashy, but he was solid as the Rock of Gibralter. He was honest and fair and reliable. He was consistent, loving and kind and gracious. He never sought the limelight but was strong and secure in himself. And he was well rounded intellectually. He just seemed to know a lot about everything. He was a quiet person, gentle and not one to gossip. He was a good man full of grace.

Last week I read a verse from Ecclesiastes which says, “there is a time to be born and a time to die.” God gives and God takes away. But our destiny is to live and to die, and we will all die at some point in time. God is the Potter and we are the clay, and I do believe that God has a plan for all of us. Yes, Penes has departed but his daughter Christy is soon to give birth, and here again is new life, and the cycle is completed.

Penes and I have talked several times about death and dying. Our last conversation was when he was in Jewish Hospital, and I told him that we had been together for a long time and that I wanted our friendship not to end at death but to continue through eternity. The Bible says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

We talked about that for awhile but never with a definite commitment. After awhile I got up to leave, and we said our good-byes. I was already out the door when he called me back, and said with a smile, “Prut, I'll see you there.”

So Penes, old friend, this is not the final chapter but just the beginning verse. So read a few pages, and we will see you there.

gordon philpott

It is difficult to lose a friend!! It is devastating to lose two close friends within ten days of each other. We lost Bill Peniston and Sandy McDonald in the last two weeks, and we miss them dearly. The similarities in their lives was undeniable — their schools, their games, their friends, their likes and dislikes, the Brewery, and yes, even the cancers that all too quickly took their lives. Bill and Sandy loved each other, just as we loved them. I cannot forget Sandy’s frequent visits to Bill in the last few months, and who could ever forget Bill’s dogged determination to go to Sandy’s memorial services last week in spite of his pain and suffering. Although they always supported each other, I think that they especially sensed this bond in the last few months. I feel like Sandy is standing beside me now, helping with this memorial tribute to his dear friend Bill.

At first thought, the grief and sadness are almost overwhelming at our misfortune not to have the warm and fun–loving presence of these two anymore. But, on second thought, as long as it was to be, I am glad that they have each other in their new journey. Bill liked his “buddies,” and it’s nice to have a “buddy” when you travel.

Bill had many qualities that endeared him to us all. He was a loving, caring husband and father. And I know he will be watching for his new grandbaby next month. He was smart, both academically and “street–wise,” with good common sense and sound advice. He often looked at things in his own unique and thoughtful way. He was a talented artist and a marvelous athlete. I loved to play poker with him but hated it when he was my opponent who “called” the hand. He rarely lost!

But I think of all the unique qualities of this quiet and powerful man, his most endearing quality was his unrestrainded generosity. His generosity of time — he always had time for anyone who asked his help; his generosity of emotion — he comforted all who needed it; his generosity with material things — he would literally give you the shirt off his back; and most especially, his generosity of spirit. Bill had a wonderful aura about him, a Gestalt if you will, that uplifted your spirits to make you feel good. This generosity of totally giving of himself was unique. I can’t remember ever being with him and not feeling better about things. And I suspect that we all have the same feeling about Bill.

I would like to finish with a little story about Bill that for me so clearly characterizes this quality of generosity. It happened a long time ago, when I played golf, and I suspect that only he and I remember it, for I don't think he ever told anyone.

We were playing our “buddies” on that old University City public course. After our drives on the third or forth hole, we all scattered over the fairway, as we usually did, looking for our golf ball. Bill’s was father down the fairway than mine, also as usual, about 50 yards to the left. When I hit my next shot, trying to lift my ball up onto the green, I shanked it, also just as usual, just as Bill turned around to watch. It hit him right here — in the middle of the forehead.

In characteristic fashion, he was a powerful man, he didn’t collapse, or cry out, or even flinch. As I ran down to him, this big red welt appearing on his forehead, he handed me my ball and said, “Phil, here’s your ball. I stopped it from going in the rough.” He finished that round, beat me soundly and never complained. He was a “gamer,” and a gamer with the most generous spirit that I ever knew.

Bill, Willy Pens, we love you. We miss you and will never forget you. May you walk in Paradise forever with the spirits of your family, Sandy and all your “buddies.”