“No, Xander. We’re going to do this. It’ll be fun. And it will show people that even though you broke my heart, we can still be friends,” Anya reminded the nervous brunette beside her.
“It’s not like I CHOSE it, An.”
“No, you just realized you weren’t in love with me and couldn’t marry me. That’s fine. It was five years ago. Then you realized you were gay. Now I’m very happy with Mike, and I want you to be as happy as I am.”
“And going to a male strip club will make me happy?”
“It will when you see the men stripping. Buffy is going to meet us here later, after she picks up Cordelia.”
“Okay, why did we invite Buffy and Cordelia again?”
“Because this is your coming out party, Xander. We needed girls to come and enjoy the male strippers. And Willow and Tara weren’t exactly on that list, because they prefer breasts.”
“Anya…I feel stupid.”
“Don’t be silly, Xander. We’re going to go watch men take off their clothes and gyrate. It’s really a wonderful experience.”
“If I hate it, can we leave?”
“Of course not, silly! We came all the way to L.A to see men take of their clothes and dance. We’re going to stay for at least 3 hours. Don’t worry, Xander. We’ll buy you alcohol to loosen you up a little bit. Really.”
“Will you shoot me after?”
*~*~*
“Wow. These are great seats. We’re going to be able to see EVERYTHING,” Cordelia gushed from her chair. The three girls and Xander were seated right at the front, directly beside the cat walk. Xander sat stiffly, not looking at the waiters, who wore only tight black slacks and black bowties to match.
“The waiters are hot. Like really hot,” Buffy said, staring unabashedly at the dark-haired waiter that was heading to their table.
“That one looks kind of like Angel,” Anya said, pointing to him.
“Does he?” Buffy said nonchalantly.
“Oh, you know fully well he does,” Cordelia said, rolling her eyes.
“Yes, well…That one is hot, too,” Buffy added.
“Doesn’t he remind you of Riley?” Anya asked.
“THAT’S what Riley looked like? Man, am I sorry I didn’t meet him,” replied Cordy, eyeing the man with scrutiny.
“Can we go home yet?” Xander finally asked, looking around the table desperately.
“Of course not, Xander. The dancers are coming on in like, ten minutes. We’ll watch for a couple of hours, then we’ll take you home, okay?” Cordy answered.
“Why don’t you wanna be here, Xan?” Buffy asked, looking at him.
“I just…I feel weird, you know?”
“Well, you shouldn’t. I mean, there are plenty of guys here to take in the show. And none of them are nearly as cute as you,” Anya told him.
Xander looked around. “I guess you’re right. About lots of guys being here, I mean, not about them not being cute.”
“Right,” Buffy smiled knowingly. “See anyone that tickles your fancy?”
“No.”
“Okay. We’ll watch the strippers then.”
Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and the Angel-lookalike stepped up onto the catwalk with a microphone, earning several catcalls and whistles from the audience.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the Purple Onion, the hottest male strip club in L.A. Tonight we have a variety of eye-candy that’s sure to send you to the moon. We have Tony the Fireman, Andy the Cop, Paul the Postman, and Tito the Elephant man. And they don’t call him that cuz he’s ugly, folks,” Cheers and whistles accompanied the laughter from the crowd. “And we have a special event tonight, folks. For one night only, straight from San Francisco, we have the one, the only, Wil. You’ve heard of him. You know who he is. Nobody looks just as good in leather as out of it like Wil. So sit back, and enjoy the ride. Remember the rules. Stay off the stage and you get to watch the show. The bouncers can and WILL kick your ass. Starting now, Hi-balls are a dollar each for the next two hours. Enjoy the show, and give a big welcome to Tony the Fireman!!!” The waiter stepped off the stage and resumed taking drink orders while the stage was lit up with red and orange lights. A siren wailed from the speakers set up on stage, and an extremely well-muscled man in a fireman’s costume came from behind the curtain. A driving beat accompanied the fading siren, and soon a tribal-type of drumming was added with a melodious piano. Tony, on stage, began to slowly undress for the crowd, dancing all the while.
Buffy, Cordelia and Anya all cheered loudly, waving dollar bills at Tony and at the waiter to order more drinks. Xander watched the stage disinterestedly.
“Do you like?” Buffy asked from beside him. She gave him a look that told him she understood what he was thinking. They’d grown closer over the last four years, and were now the very best of friends that they had been back in high school.
“Not really. I mean, yeah, he’s good looking, but…I guess he’s not my type. He’s to…beefy.”
“You don’t like beefy? Okay. That’s good. That means you won’t go after my old boyfriends,” Buffy replied with a wink.
“Angel? And RILEY? Oh, God,” Xander gasped. Then he started to laugh. “Oh, man, that’s just wrong. Deadboy? And Riley was a friend, but man…no, no way.”
“Keep it that way,” Buffy growled playfully.
Xander rolled his eyes and turned back to the stage, drinking his alcohol quickly. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. He was bonding with his friends, getting a few free drinks, and the bartender was kind of cute. Not too tall, and fairly wirey. Xander preferred men who were slightly smaller built than he was. Which Tony the Fireman was definitely not. HE was huge.
Tony had finished his dance, and was collecting the bills from the catwalk while the Angel-waiter hopped back onto the side of the stage. He introduced the next dancer, Andy the Cop. He came out in a police uniform, which he slowly began to shuck to “Roxanne” by The Police.
“How about him? He’s pretty lean,” Buffy whispered in Xander’s ear while Cordy and Anya cheered.
“He’s like, 8 feet tall. Maybe if he were shorter. And blonde. I like blonde,” Xander informed her. Buffy nodded.
“Okay.”
A few more dancers later, Xander was loosening up and having fun, but he still didn’t appreciate most of the dancers. Cordelia had slipped her number to Tito the Elephant man with a 10-dollar bill, and they were now waiting for the infamous Wil to come on stage. The house lights faded to black, and a lone spot appeared in the center of the catwalk, and a pair of heavy black boots and smooth leather shins were revealed in the light. The driving beat of a Sex Pistols song started to waft from the stereo, and one of the booted feet started to tap. The spotlight began to widen slowly, revealing the body of the dancer slowly, inch by inch. Soft black leather hugged narrow black hips, the bottom of a black worn duster visible in the light. The light moved up some more, revealing a looped silver belt buckle, then showing tight, rock-hard abs under a too-tight black T-shirt.
Xander was drooling. He’d never seen anything as sexy as this body. The man was obviously shorter than he was, even though Xander couldn’t yet see above the top of his abdomen, and he was thin and wiry, all compact muscle and cool confidence. Xander swallowed. He couldn’t take his eyes off the dancer. Beside him, Cordy was watching with a predatory smirk, while Anya and Buffy stared in amazement.
“He’s hot,” Cordy breathed.
“Shit, yes,” Xander gasped.
Buffy glanced over at Xander and saw that his breathing had increased. The light on the stage continued to widen, revealing a perfect chest and smooth pale neck. Then it stopped. The guitar chords of the song kicked in, and in time with the rhythm, Wil uncrossed his arms to point straight out to his sides, then dropped them slightly behind them so the long black leather duster dropped to the floor. He whirled around in one quick motion, showing his smooth and muscled back to the crowd, who went wild at the site of his tight buttocks encased tightly in the leather pants. He swayed slightly to the music, but still the crowd couldn’t see anything above his neck. Xander was frustrating. He wanted to see if this man’s face was nearly as beautiful as the rest of him. Not that he minded such a clear view of that lovely ass.
Wil wrapped his arms around himself at the waist, and in one smooth motion slipped the black T-shirt over his head, revealing his pale, creamy back. The crowd screamed. He wasn’t really dancing so much as mesmerizing the crowd. He was gorgeous. Then he turned so the audience could see his front again, and he deftly removed his belt in one move. Beside Xander, Cordy and Anya cheered, while Buffy whistled appreciatively. Xander could only watch in awe.
Wil used nimble pale fingers adorned with silver rings on his thumbs and middle fingers to unzip the fly to his pants, and then he quickly divested himself of his heavy boots. Then he grabbed hold of the waist of his leather pants and gave a mighty pull, literally tearing them apart at the seams and pulling them off. Wil stood there in only a black leather G-string, and he began to circle slowly, his hips moving sensually to the fast-paced Sex Pistols song.
If Xander had looked over to Buffy, he would have seen understanding and shock dawning on her face. He might have seen that she recognized this pale, compact body dancing not ten feet away from her. But Xander’s eyes were riveted on the gorgeous figure. And the spotlight was slowly widening again, revealing a tight-lipped pink mouth, a sharp jawline, and high, pronounced cheekbones. Xander was starting to get a sense of familiarity. He’d seen this man before, maybe? Then the dancer turned again, showing off his pale buttocks while the lights came on full, bathing the pale body in white strobe lights, the music building to a crescendo. Xander, Anya, Cordy and Buffy could see that the dancer had bleached-blonde hair, slicked back with gel. Then Wil turned again, and Xander was met face to face with cool blue eyes, but the dancer mustn’t have been able to see for the strobes and bright lights in his eyes, because no flash of recognition crossed his face at the sight of Xander. Then Wil’s eyes flicked back to the screaming crowd as he slowly backed toward the curtain, removing his gorgeous body from view.
“I…” Xander said intelligently.
“Sp…Spike?” Anya said.
