“Xander, what the bloody hell are you doing?”
“I’m watching Bugs Bunny.”
“You do realize that’s a cartoon?”
“Spike, you’ve been living with me for how long now? Several months? And you’re only just realizing now that I like to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?”
“Never up on Saturday mornings, am I?”
“Whatever. It’s Bugs Bunny! It’s like, a cultural phenomenon!”
“It’s a blue rabbit.”
“You’ve never watched Bugs Bunny, have you?”
“Not bloody likely.”
“I can’t believe you’ve never watched Bugs Bunny! That’s like…sacreligious!”
“It’s a cartoon, Xander.”
“You have no culture. Shh! This is a good one!”
“Right.”
“No, sweetie…stay and watch? Please?”
“Fine. You know, I’ll get you back for this.”
“Whatever. See? This is the opera one. Elmer and Bugs sing.”
“Joy.”
“It’s good!”
“Did he just say ‘spear and magic helmet’?”
“Do not pervert my childhood.”
“You’re crazy.”
“This one’s good too.”
“Is that a skunk?”
“It’s Peppy le Pew.”
“Who?”
“Peppy le Pew.”
“That’s it. I’m out of here.”
“Do not run away from ze love!”
“I’m not. I’m running away from you.”
“One more, okay? I promise you’ll be hooked after that.”
“One. Fine. What’s this one, then?”
“Yosemite Sam.”
“Wow…that’s…violent.”
“Getting a little excited over there?”
“This is really violent.”
“Oh, wait until you watch the Roadrunner ones.”
“It gets better?!”
“Okay. This is the Roadrunner.”
“How do you know which one’s coming on before it comes on?”
“Spike, they haven’t made new ones in about 20 years or so. I’ve seen these all a million times.”
“Why?”
“Childhood.”
“And the violence?”
“Well…yes. Okay, just watch.”
“I’m watching.”
“Spike? Spike? Spike, are you okay? Spike?”
“Ha ha…he…and then…ha ha ha…and the cliff…he keeps…ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
“I know, Spike.”
“That’s bloody brilliant!”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh so hard.”
“Violence makes me happy, pet.”
“Yeah. Um…how happy?”
“Very happy.”
“Oh…Spike…”
“I’m going to spear you with my magic helmet.”
“You just scarred me for life.”
“You love it.”
“A little.”
“You wascawy wabbit.”
“Don’t ever do that again.”
“Maybe you should find me something better to do with my mouth then, eh, pet?”
