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Mama-Moon
~ Mein Tagebuch ~ |
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zurück Juli '03: --29.07. No big news, really. I am writing a lot these days, and I hope to put it all in an extra website soon. Ayla is talking more and more, still mainly German. I got out my old dolls-house today, which isn't a house, just a big room. It's lovely, all made from wood and the furniture is big enough to sit real dolls (not those tiny ones) on it. Ayla can actually sit on the bench or table - I think she plays the giant in the doll's house *lol* She loves it. :-) Yesterday we visited her friend Lisa and Ayla was fascinated by her going on the potty. I was also happy to become aware again, how easy and nice children can be with each other. There was no hitting or pinching, no screaming, no I-want-this-this-is-mine behaviour, or taking things away. The kids spent a lovely and peaceful afternoon without any interruption from us mothers. I do have the firm opinion that our children behave just like their 'role models' do and how they are treated. And also that they co-operate with how we expect them to behave. Oh, yes! Good news: I received the new issue of 'The Mother' and I found my article on carrying babies in it!!! :-) I was so happy to see one of my works in actual print. Last but not least: I'd like to give my love to some people: to Barby (get well soon!), Jana (thanks for reading my story :-), Iris (I love mailing with you!! Hope you have a good holiday), Dave (have a nice time at the camp. Where's the letter??), Vanessa (all the best and all the luck in the world!!), Lena (thanks for listening to my 'relationship-crap'), and to Margret, Babsi, Maike, Anna, Marga and all the other poeple who know me. :-) --10.07. I finally have time to up-date my diary and my website. I closed the forum for a start. I saw today that I came up as the 'forum-god' ?!*lol* How did that happen??? I hope nobody took that serious. ;-) I've been really tired recently. My emotions were up and down, as well. Then I had days/times of doubt about everything that I was doing...What for? Is it any good? Am I waisting my time? Sometimes I find it hard to stay on my track and resist old habbits. It's just so easy to let yourself go again...but it made me frustrated and unhappy, and it is at times like these that I become aware of what I really want and what is important to me, how I want to lead my life, and who I am. Unfortunately I didn't find much time to write - I missed it a bit, but didn't really feel inclined. But I will get back to my 'work' tonight, after this up-date. :-) On the other hand I spent much time out and about. I did my first-aid class in order to start to drive (first driving-lesson this tuesday, yesss!!), Ayla is now in a playgroup in our town, she goes to a creche in Hildesheim once or twice a week for an hour, and I went to a wonderful gospel-concert in the neighbour village last Sunday. (gosh, I nearly started crying when they started to sing, and it was so overwhelming. :-) I hope nobody saw my quivering lip...) Ayla is becoming more strong willed by the day. Not at all like you, Dave, not like me... where did she get that stubborness from?? She also discovered the word 'nein'(no) and uses it frequently. It made me aware again how often I use it without noticing (same for my Mum), and I try to use different phrasing now, or don't say anything and just distract her from a thing or a situation. I also try to incourage her to make dicisions herself. That's really funny! An example: She manages to get into Valentin's room, climbs on the sofa to look at something. I want to go downstairs. I pick her up and she wriggles and yells:"Nein, nein!!" Okay, I put her down and I tell her that I'm going downstairs, and I wave 'bye-bye'. I leave the room and walk half way down the steps and wait. Not long and she comes running 'Mama, Mama!'. :-) It doesn't work with every situation, but it's helpful and it would be great if we could do it more and more in this way. Sometimes I do this when I change her nappy, too. I let her decide if she wants one now or maybe later. It's so cute when she runs about with her naked bum, haha. Oh, she has started to put together two-word-sentences recently. She says things like 'Ayla/Teddy/Baby sleeps' or 'Ayla drink' or 'Nanny car' or 'Doggy peepee' or 'Peepee loo' or 'plane all gone' etc. She's picking up words easier now, unfortunately mainly in German. She also says 'Papa' to photographs of David - it happened the other day when she was emptying my drawer and she found those pix of when Dave was still living with us. She picked up one and said triumphantly: 'oh, Papa!' without me telling her. I was really amazed, as I hadn't realized that she remembers him that well. I wished she could see him more often...not just on a pic. |
