But I am going to use an amendment to my advantage, because I also have the freedom of speech just as much as the homeless man on the streets of New York that I'll never see because some of these dramatic people are holding me back from seeing the world for what it is. They're showing me the version they have made for themselves. It's pure immaturity at work that God never intended.

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

So under the First Amendment of the beautiful United States of America, I have the right to say what I want, and I WILL. Whether I lose friends over this or not, I will say it. I'm tired of going unheard, and people stepping all over me thinking I'm someone with no heart. I do have a heart, and a mouth to speak with and I regret not using the mouth I was given at birth to speak upon this subject that enrages me so greatly.

If I do lose a friend over this, it just means you didn't believe enough in our friendship to begin with. So with no further adieu I will proceed past the prologue.

This entry was sparked by some conversations I've had with a few close friends over the past couple of days, things I'm so glad I talked to them about. Those friends *you know who you are* truly listened to what I had to say, and gave insight on what I said. *Big sigh* I think some people can be rather harsh with their words, so I'm going to try to sway from that in what I have to say.

Ok people, I'm tired of being walked on, and treated like a door mat. AND NO I DON'T ASK FOR IT! No one does, I don't care who they are. I don't treat anyone like that, so why should people treat me like that? I will do what I want to do, no matter if it conflicts with someone else's image. I will keep my same country girl image, because that's how I like to be. But I'm going to say and do what I want. No, I'm not going to become some trouble maker *sighs* MOM! But I am going to confront the people that have caused me way too much drama. One friend that I discussed this with, is going through the same thing in one situation. I've known her forever, and I wouldn't have it any other way, and someone is stabbing her in the back, and doing it to a lot of people. I'm not going to whine and complain about oh my gosh, *so and so* you should NOT talk to me like that *edit some words*. I'm going to talk to someone how I want to be talked to. If someone had a problem with me, I'd want them to let me know, so I could try to fix whatever was wrong *thanks Ali, I truly thank ya for that*. But I mean c'mon people, if you're going to live in a world where there is criticism why not tell the person to their face, than hide like a little kid about it! It's childish and odd how that can happen. From now on I'm going to confront my fears of letting people know how I truly feel, because sometimes I just hide it behind this fake person that I knew I didn't want to become. Not because it would have been a bad person, heck no, but because that person would not have been me, hince the word 'fake'. Someone actually slapped some sense into me. But anyhow, what I'm trying to say all through this babble is, quit being a kid and tell a person how you feel, you'll be much better. And heck, the person might not know what they're doing wrong, or whatever it is. Some people only see in straight lines and inside the picture, they never see the outside because they're not someone else looking at them. But in some cases some people judge in the wrong way and tell the wrong things because they don't truly know that person. I would have taken it completely out of proportion if it were someone I hadn't known from my utter childhood, that told me to quit acting punk. I don't mean to act punk, *sorry if I ever did*, it's just something that happened. Plus, it came off as a poser, which is horrible! I'm a little country girl who loves horses, country music and a little bit of everything else. I'm never going to try to be someone I'm not, unless I get such a clouded judgement I can't handle myself. So rather than talk about someone behind their back, which can cause major damage, get it out in the open to them, because it can cause so much pain and tears. Also, never judge someone before you truly know them, because you might be the problem, not them.

Oh yea, to all the people I go to school with that read this, expect a change in my hairstyle for school. *nods* It will be different, but not something out of my comfort zone. *smiles* I actually love how it's going to look. If anyone wants to see how it's going to look BEFORE you see it at school, I'm sorry, I can't tell you. Just know that it's a change, but a change for the good.

thursday, july 24, 2003: quizzie