Part VBy nightfall that evening, moods had certainly taken a turn for the worse. After finding out how to break the spell on Xander, no one was sure about trying the cure. Willow had offered, but after smooching on Xander for a minute or two and feeling like an absolute fool, she had to give up. Cordy tried a kiss or two, but she had about as much luck as Willow. Buffy was next, but she felt too weirded out to give it a shot. Willow pouted at the blonde slayer.
“Come on! It’s Xander, don’t you want to help him?” Willow pleaded. Buffy crossed her arms.
“I’m not really into the whole saving of the damsel in distress thing.” Buffy tilted her head, thinking. “What we need is a good princess for Xander. Surprised Cordelia didn’t do it…hey, what about Tara? She’s kinda princessy.” Tara colored deeply and shook her head. Willow smirked.
“She’s also a total lesbian. She would do anything for a friend, but kissing Xander would be too much like making out with a brother to her.” Buffy stuck out her tongue, more in frustration than with any ill will towards Timid Tara.
The guys were all watching the female members of the group try and wake up Xander with kisses no more romantic than a grandmother’s. Angel shook his head, disgusted. Giles and Ethan were poring over the fairytale, hoping perhaps there was something to be learned from the old story. Spike simply watched from the door, having been booted out of the bed when the girls decided to try this ridiculous tactic.
“Okay, maybe he needs something else,” Wesley piped up. Angel looked over at him, expectant. Wesley coughed and flushed lightly. “Well, the ladies kissing isn’t doing it, perhaps something a bit more would help?”
“Yeah? And how are you planning on getting that done? None of the girls are going to do much else to help him.” Angel shook his head. “Seriously, this isn’t helping, it’s probably just making him feel more like his dreams are a better place.” He sighed and flopped back into his chair. Spike turned his head to smirk at his Grandsire.
“Maybe we need to invest in a ladybird?” Spike snickered. Angel shot the bleached vampire a glare. Wesley blinked.
“A what?” Wesley asked. Spike rolled his eyes.
“A prostitute, you git,” He stated. Wesley flushed again, shaking his head.
“We are not getting Xander a prostitute, Wesley. It has to be meaningful. He needs something to draw him out, something that makes him feel like reality isn’t as bad as it seems.” Angel spoke slowly, clearing enunciating each word. Willow walked out of the bedroom with Tara in tow, both girls looking as if they were about to start crying.
“That is going to be so difficult,” Willow said, seating Tara next to a dozing Oz. Angel waited for an explanation. Willow sighed and crossed her arms, inhaling deeply. “Xander has a really crap life, Angel. His folks hate him, he never did well at school, everyone used to pick on him all the time and actually that hasn’t changed but now it isn’t bullies it’s demons because they all seem to want a piece of him. He never liked reality much anyway, usually he threw himself into comic books or science fiction shows, anything that would make him feel happy, I guess. His relationships never worked out for him. He just never found that right person.” Willow’s little Xander rant tapered off there. Angel could have laughed at how it seemed Willow never really needed to breath.
Spike was looking at Willow with an expression of both disbelief and cunning. It was a look Angel knew well; Spike was planning something. Oh, boy.
“Red, you just said something interesting,” Spike said, standing. Willow looked a little offended. Spike rolled his eyes. “Not that what you usually say isn’t just the most interesting gab I’ve ever heard.” Willow smiled. “You said person. Not girl. Woman. Bint. Whatever. Person, not specifically female.” Willow blushed a little.
“Um…” She muttered something under her breath. Spike heard her, however.
Xander was bi.
“I knew the boy was more than a skirt chaser,” Spike said smugly, flashing a grin to Angel. Angel rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands.
“As wonderful as that is, I’m not seeing how that changes much,” Angel said. Spike looked at him incredulously.
“It might change, oh, I don’t know, the gender of those kissing him back there?” Spike said, pointing at the bedroom door. Angel gave Spike a flat stare.
“Do you want to give it a shot?” He asked. Spike crossed his arms.
“Well. It might work.” He almost pouted. Angel waved his hand dismissively. Spike smirked and turned, walking into the bedroom.
Cordy and Buffy were discussing what they could try in hushed tones near Giles’ closet. Nothing they were suggesting sounded anywhere near what dreams were made of for human males; soft kisses, snuggling on top of the covers, having his hair played with. Their suggestions sounded more like what girls did to each other at sleepovers. Spike shooed both girls out of the bedroom under the pretense of seeing to changing Xander into something more comfortable.
Seeing the boy sleeping peacefully in the forced dream tugged at something in Spike’s chest. He stalked carefully over to Xander.
"I know those bints aren't half of what you've been wanting," Spike whispered as he leant over Xander, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I stayed with you. I know what you wanked to in the middle of the night when you thought I was out. I know about those dirty magazines you kept between your matress and box spring," His nose brushed Xander's as he hovered over the sleeping boy's lips. "You need a bloke, mate."
The kiss was almost accidental, with how rushed it felt to Spike. Xander's lips felt warm and soft. He knew the inside of Xander's mouth would be even softer, even warmer. Wet. Probably taste of chocolate. That kind of passion could be reserved for later, though, when Xander was awake to appreciate it. Spike backed up and waited for Xander to open his eyes.
And waited. And waited some more.
"Bugger." Spike spat.
"Plan not working out for you?" Angel asked from the doorway. Spike turned quickly and sneered at Angel.
"Okay, so one kiss ain't gonna do it," Spike said, smirking. Angel gave him one of his best 'I Told You So' looks. Spike was not appreciative. "All right, if you think you're so good, why don't you give it a try, ya pouf?" Angel rolled his eyes.
"And what makes you think I will be able to do any better? I told you and everyone else out there, it might be a kiss, it might be sex, we just have no way of knowing." Angel said, crossing his arms. Spike grinned.
"Unless we try, right, Peaches?" Spike winked. Angel sighed. The larger vampire walked around the bed and sat on the other side of Xander, glaring at Spike.
"What do you propose, William?" Angel asked. Spike shook his head and glared back at Angel.
"I hate it when ya call me that," Spike said. Angel chuckled. "How 'bout you and me kiss him at the same time?" Angel looked at Spike incredulously. Spike laughed. "What? I think it'd work."
"What reason is your perverse little mind brewing up that could possibly justify that ridiculous suggestion?" Angel asked flatly.
"Look here, I think I know what I'm talking about. I've spent more time with this boy than anyone else, and I know what gets his pilot lit. Two gents really gets him going, and if he gets his best wet dream come true, maybe it'd wake him up, right?" Spike looked completely convinced. Angel wasn't exactly sure how to reply. After a few moments of thinking over the pros and cons, he shrugged and nodded. Spike grinned back at him and the two of them leaned over Xander.
Angel got to Xander's lips before Spike, so the blonde vamp decided on the next best thing and sucked, kissed and nibbled Xander's neck. The two were so wrapped up in what they were doing that they almost missed the moan escaping from Xander's half parted lips. Spike pulled back first, listening closely. Xander moaned again, shifting, weakly raising one hand to rest on top of Angel's. Only then did Angel notice Xander waking and pulled away.
Chocolate eyes blinked blearily up at two vampires, both of which seemed to be a little too close for Xander's comfort.
"Uh," Xander breathed, his eyes going from Angel to Spike and back again. "What's...going on?"
Back to Part IV
On to Part VI
