FOR A PIONEER'S HUSBAND

When a young man gets married

He gets much advice

From friends who

Hope things will work out nice.

But here and now, I'd like to say

That's not the only time

When knowing what's ahead of you

Is worth more than a dime

Another most exciting day and

One you'll long remember,

Is when your wife to Pioneer

Began this warm September

And so I'd like to clue you in:

Tell you what to expect

From living with a pioneer

There are things you don't suspect.

Your diet will see many changes

As new recipes she'll test,

She's looking for a meal that cooks

In 30 minutes or less

Be sure your shirts are wash and wear,

For ironing there's no time

The only attention they will receive

Is to keep them free from grime.

Did you wash my socks today?

"There's some there in the drawer

Can you wear the purple ones?

I didn't get home until four."

The errand that you sent her on

She really meant to do

But a call on Mrs. Interested

Was important too.

The territory you planned to work

This weekend with the group

She finished it Wednesday! It's all done!

But there's no need to droop.

Not-at-homes. Carefully written

Are yours to use in abudnace.

The hoses with the dogs she saved for you

To reach the door is a fun dance.

And, oh, the calls she'll have for you

To go on are a dream.

If they're ever home when you get there

You'll be surprised enough to scream

Your gasoline bill will increase

But then you'll also see

The smile on her face! It's always there.

A happy wife she'll be.

And you'll find yourself

After a wearying day,

Just waiting to hear

What she'll have to say.

"I met a woman today

Who thinks the earth is flat

Can you believe a church would teach

Something absurd like that?!"

"The disgusting thing that Danial foretold

Was fulfilled by women who became so bold

As to stop wearing dresses and begin wearing shorts!

The lady who said so didn't care too much for sports."

"A new name for God I learned today

It came from a Sunday school teacher.

His name is "Hallowed!" That's what she said.

She learned it from her preacher.

"I started a new bible study today."

Will become a famioliar greeting

"We have to leave earlier tonight

She wants to go to the meeting."

And the demonstration you haven't prepared yet....

Who can you ask on late notice?

Probably she will do it for you,

Onlye when you ask her. Don't quote us.

Were you busy after the meeting?

No literature for service?

There's a box full in her closet.

No need to be nervous

A pioneer wife is a happy wife

And when you help her do it

She things you're the greatest man!

And you'll be glad, don't rue it.

So take this advice

I've told you the facts

And a pioneer's expenses

Reduce your income tax.