Story Highlights

•        NEW: Lawyer: Nurse never saw Jackson take, be administered drug

•        Jackson said "I just want to be able to be knocked out and go to sleep," nurse said

•        Cherilyn Lee: I told Jackson "if you take this you might not wake up"

•        Sedative Jackson requested given through IV as anesthetic during surgeries

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Michael Jackson suffered from severe bouts of insomnia and pleaded for a powerful sedative despite knowing its harmful effects, a nutritionist who worked with the singer said Tuesday.

Cherilyn Lee, a registered nurse and nurse practitioner who first met Jackson in January to treat his children for a common cold, said she rejected his requests for Diprivan and informed him of the side effects.

"I told him this medication is not safe," Lee said. "He said, 'I just want to get some sleep. You don't understand. I just want to be able to be knocked out and go to sleep.' "

"I told him -- and it is so painful that I actually felt it in my whole spirit -- 'If you take this you might not wake up.' "

According to the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, nurse practitioners "provide high-quality healthcare services similar to those of a doctor." They can also prescribe medications, according to the academy's Web site.

CNN could not independently verify whether Lee worked with Jackson.

When asked about Lee's account, Jackson family attorney Londell McMillan said:

"I wonder why someone would make a comment about drugs when they haven't seen him take the drug or anyone who administered it."

The drug, known by its generic name Propofol, is administered intravenously as an anesthetic during surgeries. Watch nurse describe Jackson's drug request »

An initial dose puts a person to sleep. An overdose can lead to cardiac arrest, doctors say.

Jackson died June 25 at the age of 50. Authorities are awaiting toxicology results to determine what killed him.

Lee is licensed as a registered nurse, according to the California Board of Registered Nursing Web site. According to her Web site, she is a proponent of alternative medicine that uses a holistic approach.

Lee said that four days before Jackson's death, she received a call from a Jackson staff member who said the singer felt that one side of his body was cold; the other hot.

"I could hear Mr. Jackson saying in the background, 'Please have her come see me now. Can she come now?' "

Lee, who was in Florida at the time, said she told Jackson's staffers to take him to a hospital.

"I was really afraid because of the symptoms they were telling me," she said. "It could have meant something going on in the nervous system or something cardiovascular."

After his death, Lee said she didn't go to the authorities.

"When I saw it on the news, I really didn't know what to do," she said. "I was saddened. I heard there was a physician there."

Lee also could not say why Jackson would call on her, when the last time she saw him was three months ago.

"The only think I can think of is he recalled the symptoms I was telling him," she said.

But, she added, she didn't know of any doctors who would have given him the drug.

"I asked him, 'What doctor gave you this drug?' " she said, when the singer initially brought up the medicine. "He told me, 'Oh it was a long time ago.' "

Dr. Rakesh Marwah of the anesthesiology department at the Stanford University School of Medicine said Propofol can lead to cardiac arrest, which is suspected in Jackson's death.

"Propofol slows down the heart rate and slows down the respiratory rate and slows down the vital functions of the body," he said

•        Highlights

•        Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, Michael Jackson friend, calls him "tortured soul"

•        Jackson was wonderful father, Boteach says, but was lost amid fame

•        In one instance, Jackson saw doctor before speaking in public, came out "woozy"

(CNN) -- Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, the Orthodox Jewish rabbi who is known for his secular outreach and TLC show "Shalom in the Home," was friends with Michael Jackson for several years.

The two worked together on the "Heal the Kids" charitable initiative and stayed in touch until the middle of the decade, when they drifted apart, Boteach has said.

He talked with CNN's Campbell Brown about his impressions of the late entertainer, including his abilities as a father and Boteach's concerns about his emotional state. The following is an edited version of that interview.

CampbellBrown: Rabbi Shmuley, welcome to you.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, family and relationship counselor: Nice to see you, Campbell. Nice to be with you on the set. Thank you for having me.

Brown: Thank you for being here. I want to ask, you were so concerned by what you saw of Michael Jackson's drug use that all the way back in 2004, you told CNN you thought he'd die young.

I mean, what did you see that made you feel that way?

Boteach: Well, there was no one around to stop him. ... People ... are not going to interfere with what Michael was trying to do. And what he was trying to do was curb pain.

Michael always thought that he had ailments of the body. He always had a neck that hurt, a foot that was twisted. Really, he had an affliction of his soul. He was extremely lonely, he was extremely unhappy. He felt purposeless, he felt lethargic. And the way he dealt with that pain -- and he was especially afraid of evasion, of that perhaps his best years are behind him.

And instead of reinventing himself and entering a new phase, he decided to medicate away his pain. And no human body was going to -- would be able to sustain that kind of assault. This was inevitable, it was shocking, it's tragic. But it could have easily been averted.

Brown: You -- we've heard people talk about his use of Demerol, of OxyContin.

Did you talk to him about his drug use? Did you ever tell him you were worried?

Boteach: Are you kidding me?

Here's an example. You know, we went to give a lecture together at Oxford University. One of the main remedies I had for Michael's existence was to get serious. I said very few people in the history of the world, Michael, have achieved your level of notoriety. Do you realize what you could consecrate that to?

So, we gave a lecture together at Oxford University on a children's bill of rights. And Michael brings -- Michael -- he goes into these rooms with doctors, comes out light-headed, very woozy and it was always before a performance.

Michael -- you know, we think that he wasn't afraid of crowds but as I said, I think because he gave the public a key to his own self esteem, because he substituted love for attention, he was. This was always an issue before he went in front of crowds.

And I would say to him, "This is poison. This is killing you. You need to be razor sharp, Michael." And he knew that it was bad for him. But the next night we had dinner together and he stood up during dinner and I said, "Why don't you sit down." He said, "Because I took your advice. My back hurts but I'm not medicating it."

Brown: So, that's amazing to me. That he would get high and then he would be medicated before he would perform, essentially, in front of a crowd. Was he under the influence of drugs around his kids, also?

Boteach: Well, let me make something absolutely clear: I never saw Michael before a concert. I never saw him in a concert.

I'm speaking specifically as the years went on, I think Michael lived with a profound fear of rejection. And Michael told me once -- and this is a heartbreaking conversation between us -- "Shmuley, I promise I'm not lying to you," he said. "I'm not lying to you." He said that twice. "But everything I've done in pursuing fame, in honing my craft" to quote his words, "was an effort to be loved because I never felt loved." And he used to say that to me all the time.

And you can imagine if you're trying to get love from the crowd and you're not sure how they're going to react to you because time is going on, they [call you] "wacko-jacko," -- you've become a tabloid caricature. You live in phenomenal fear. And I think that a lot of this -- the prescription drugs -- was used to address and alleviate the anxiety. And it was just tragic to watch.

And a lot of questions need to be asked about who facilitated this. Because there are three kids who are orphaned right now and we need to know why this happened.

Brown: Did he separate that part of his life from his children? Were they aware of what was going on with him?

Boteach: Look, I am not someone who whitewashes Michael's sins. Michael was not a saint. He had great virtue and there was a part of him that unfortunately grew corrupt over time.

So, I have no agenda in saying this -- Michael was an extremely responsible father. I know there was that outrageous incident of the baby dangling from that patio but that actually was so out of character because if anything, he was overprotective of his children.

So, he was a very responsible father. He did not travel anywhere without the kids. The kids adored him, he adored them. In fact, in the last years of his life, that was probably the only inspiration he still received. He lived for these children and that's why I'm so concerned about their welfare because there's no mother in their life and now there's no father either.

Brown: You talk about the people around him and that that needs to be followed up on. Who were the good guys? I mean, was his family trying to get him help? I mean, obviously you talked to him but what could have been done?

Boteach: Well, let's be honest. If we in America want to have an honest conversation about Michael Jackson -- who the good guys are.

Look, Michael brought out some of the worst qualities in all of us -- in the media, in good people.

Very few people are around that level of attention. And to be around it ... [it]made you feel special. And you could see a lot of good people who started with Michael and little by little the corruption just grew. So even people who were good guys didn't necessarily remain that way.

If you look at the media circus, we're not even mourning the death of man anymore. We're just sort of thinking about an icon. So all of us are conflicted in this if you want to be honest about it.

So, but the good guys? I tried to be one of the good guys. Being a good guy meant if you had to risk your relationship with Michael, that you had to put your relationship on the line -- you had to look him in the eye and say, "Michael, you are killing yourself," or "Michael, you have -- there's no normality in your life," or "Michael, you have lost spiritual anchor."

I mean, Campbell, Michael was a very spiritual, religious man. He was not only a Jehovah's Witness, he was a missionary. ... He used to knock on people's doors selling Watchtowers. Then suddenly he fell out with the church. So you had this mega attention and nothing to balance and nothing to correct it. Little by little he became more egotistical.

Brown: So what did he say -- when you confronted him, when you said these things to him, how did he react to you?

Boteach: Well, for a year he listened to me and used to tell me how much he loved me and cared about me and we were very close.

I mean, I cannot begin to describe the degree of friendship that existed between us. I tried to be a Rabbi to him. But after a year -- and I believed there was a lot of progress in that year. You know, Michael came with me to synagogue. He was never going to become Jewish but he needed some sort of spiritual base. He used to come for regular Sabbath dinners at our home.

But after a year he really began to see me almost as a nuisance. I would speak to him and I could see a complete difference in body posture. He would begin to cringe. He would almost curl up, evolve into an embryonic position. He was unaccustomed to hearing any kind of criticism.

And -- but then he would get his managers to sort of try to stop me and it came to a head one day in his hotel room. We went to give out books to parents of low-income families in Newark, New Jersey.

And on the way back I could see Michael was angry at me, although he never had a temper so he wouldn't show it, but he was withdrawn. So, I said, "What's wrong?" So, his manager says to me, in front of him, "Shmuley, you want to make Michael accessible and normal. Don't you understand he's famous because he's not normal. And then I understood the full tragedy of his existence. Michael was terrified that the moment he became average that the public would forget him.

And that was the end of our relationship. I knew I could not help him and I -- there was no choice but to sever the relationship.

But at that stage -- you asked who the good guys are -- you have a choice. You can either hang on as a hang-along, or you can move on. Because the orbit of a superstar is just too great to be in there partially. It's an all or nothing sum game.

Brown: Rabbi Shmuley, I mean, there have been so many rumors with regard to this story. What's the one thing that you've heard that you want to clear up about Michael Jackson? What should the public know?

Boteach: More than anything else, I want people to understand as they read all of these very unfortunate stories about Michael. And let's face it, Michael may have -- I don't know -- but may have been guilty of very serious, serious crimes.

I want people to understand that even if it were true and I have no idea if it is or it isn't, that this was a tortured, tortured soul, who from the earliest age did not know love because he felt that he had to perform to earn love. He lived in permanent insecurity. He was one of the most tortured souls I ever came across.

After all the fame and fortune there was a part of him that we almost could not reach and I would hope that the public, in judging and assessing Michael Jackson, would do so ... knowing that that child star suffered these terrible, terrible things.

That's why all you parents out there, when you're sitting with your kids and they show you their report card and it's not an A, please don't say to them immediately, you could have done better. That's what happened with Michael. And so he always had to perform and that's what ultimately killed him.

Campbell, honestly, when they announced these concerts I thought the end was near. He was in no state to do 50-odd concerts. Not a psychological state, emotional state. Michael was burned out. He was just going to get more medication to deal with his inability to live up to his former glory of self and the outcome was going to have to be tragic.

Brown: I do want to ask you, you talk about the accusations against him, criminal accusations. Did he ever talk to you about that?

Boteach: Absolutely. He said that they were absolutely not true. He promised me that he would never be alone with a child again. So I said to him, even if they're not true, Michael, after 1993, you can never be alone with a child. And he said he understood that.

I also told him, you're not the children's messiah. Like it was his 44th birthday and he invited me and my family to spend it with him at Neverland. And I could see that he was a bit depressed. I said, what's wrong. He said, I want to help kids but I can't because of all -- everything that happened.

I said, well, the best way to help kids, Michael, is not to help them directly -- you're not a messiah -- it's to inspire their parents to prioritize them. And that's when we started working together to get parents to read to their children, have regular family meals.

So he always said to me, it wasn't true, he could never harm a child, it was all lies, et cetera. I mean, you know, I knew the child who was the second accuser. And the second accusation to be honest, I never believed. I sort of knew the family, I knew the child. I was all around in the first one and he had no business getting so close to other people's children -- that's for certain. And whether he was guilty of a crime or not, he had no right at all -- whatsoever -- to share a bed with a child that wasn't his own.

But Michael crossed lines all the time. And this is part of the problem of being a superstar when no one wants to say no to you and when you simply withdraw from anyone who does say no to you.

And Campbell, I have to make a plea to the Jackson family. I met Katherine who's a very pious, very religious woman, very devout Jehovah's Witness. And I met Joe Jackson. Michael really wanted his father's approval. And he loved his father very deeply. I know that in many interviews he spoke about anger towards his father. But when he was with me he said that he lived for his father's approval and he told this to his father on the phone when I was in the car with him.

And I really think this is the time for the family to really be at the forefront of Michael's legacy and not to cross lines of saying, God forbid, his death as an opportunity for anything aside from that mourning. Because Michael wanted his father's love more than anything else. His father meant the world to him. And I think that one of the things he lived with more than anything else -- the pain he lived with -- was this constant feeling that he never quite earned his father's affection.

Brown: And just finally, for at least now, temporarily, his children are going to be with his mother. Do you think that's the right thing? Is that what he would want? That his family would be involved in taking care of these children?

Boteach: Michael adored, adored his mother. He would always call her the saint. That was the expression he used for her. He introduced me to her on two occasions. Both times she was reading the Bible when I walked in. Michael thought the world of his mother. He wanted his children to be very close to his mother.

From what I witnessed, yes, it would seem to me that that would be his wish. That he trusted his mother implicitly, he trusted her values, he trusted her character, he was inspired of her and he spoke of her with the highest devotion and love. He never uttered even a hint of criticism against his mother.

Brown: Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, so appreciate your time.

Boteach: Thank you, Campbell. And I hope that people will remember Michael in the most charitable light

NEW YORK (CNN) -- Fans of Michael Jackson lined the streets outside Harlem's Apollo Theater on Tuesday for a chance to pay their respects to the late "King of Pop" at the hall that helped launch his career.

The crowd stood eight to 10 abreast in the sun and 80-degree weather for 10 blocks, waiting for hours for a chance to enter the theater. Fans were allowed in 600 at a time, where they lay flowers and other mementos at the foot of the stage and danced to Jackson's music as it played over the sound system.

"We left our house at 4 o'clock in the morning and got here at 9, and we were lucky to get here," said Angela Staples, who came to New York from Pennsylvania with her daughter Jasmine. "I'm so happy about the outpouring of love and the crowd and the people. It's so respectful to Michael."

Those in the hall observed a moment of silence at 5:26 p.m. -- the time Jackson was pronounced dead Thursday in Los Angeles, California. The cause of the 50-year-old singer's death has not yet been determined.

An autopsy on the 50-year-old singer was was inconclusive, leaving authorities waiting on the results of toxicology tests to determine what killed him.

Fans have been gathering outside the theater since last week to remember Jackson, who at age 9 won a 1967 Apollo amateur night showcase with his brothers in the group the Jackson 5.

"While he went on from the Apollo stage to achieve international fame on an unprecedented level, to us and all of you, he's family because he started out here," said Jonelle Procope, the legendary venue's CEO.

Jackson became an idol of both black and white fans and was among the first African-American artists to get widespread play on the music-video channel MTV. But in later years, he was known more for a roller-coaster personal life, including extensive plastic surgery, financial woes and a 1995 trial and acquittal on child-molestation charges.

The Rev. Al Sharpton, the New York civil rights activist who became a friend of the Jackson family, urged Jackson's fans not to let critics "scandalize" a groundbreaking performer.

"Michael wasn't no freak," Sharpton said. "Michael was a genius. Michael was an innovator. You can't take someone with extraordinary skills, extraordinary talent, and make him an ordinary person. He was extraordinary. He lived extraordinarily, and we love him with an extraordinary passion."

The Apollo had been one of the top venues for jazz, gospel and soul artists for decades before the Jacksons' breakthrough. Sharpton said the theater was home to "the best and the baddest."

"You've got to come from the stage of the Apollo and go all over the world to understand Michael," Sharpton said. "We understand his journey, because we were with him every step of the way."

The Jackson brothers' amateur night win led to a $1,000 deal for 31 shows at the Apollo, said Bobby Schiffman, whose family owned the theater.

"Shortly after their appearance, Diana Ross took them on an NBC special that she did, and there was no looking back after that. They just skyrocketed," Schiffman said.

Jackson at the time "was a sweet little boy," he said.

"He was extremely talented, extremely easy to get along with," Schiffman said. "He always had a smile on his face, and it was a pleasure to see him working in the theater."

CNN's Aspen Steib contributed to this report.

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- A will from Michael Jackson written in 2002 has been located, but it may be one of several, the Jackson family lawyer said Tuesday.

"We need a certain amount of time to look at that," lawyer Londell McMillan said, referring to whether other wills exist. "I don't personally know, but it's possible."

Until now, the Jackson family has said it has not seen a will for the singer.

Without a legal will, the division of his estate would be decided in court.

The 2002 will surfaced Monday after a Los Angeles judge gave the singer's mother, Katherine Jackson, temporary control of her son's "tangible personal property."

The pop icon's three children -- ages 7, 11 and 12 -- were also placed under the temporary guardianship of Katherine Jackson.

McMillan said he has seen the will but would not disclose its details.

"There is a process called 'probating the will' that will validate any will in due course," he said.

Probate is the legal process to prove whether a will is authentic and valid. The process is used to pass on items in the will from the deceased to the beneficiaries.

The biological mother of Jackson's two oldest children, Debbie Rowe, will be invited to a hearing Monday in which the judge will consider who should have custody of them. She has not publicly indicated whether she will challenge the Jacksons for custody.

CNN's Don Lemon contributed to this story

Ryan White and Michael Jackson shared a special bond. Michael met Ryan, who suffered with HIV after receiving contaminated blood during a treatment, back in 1987. Now, Ryan's mother is sharing a telephone recording that he and Michael had:

Ryan White: Hey Michael, I have tickets to the Batman premier. Want to come?

Michael Jackson: 'Yeah, I would love to Ryan, but I might be recording, have to see.'

Ryan's mother, Jeanne White, says that Michael was truly a good hearted person. “He worked so hard ever since he was a kid, that he didn’t have childhood and when you went to Neverland, you too would act as a kid."

Ms White was in the Chicago airport when she heard the news that Michael had been rushed to the hospital. To her, he was not the King of Pop, but a dear family friend. Michael stood by her and her son during the most difficult moments of their lives. And Michael was there when Ryan passed away.

In 1990, Michael wrote the now famous “Gone Too Soon” dedicated to Ryan. And that is how Ryan's mother now feels about Michael...Gone Too Soon.

By Alan Duke and Saeed Ahmed
CNN

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- More than two dozen TV satellite trucks lined a narrow, two-lane road leading to Neverland Ranch early Wednesday, jostling to reserve space for a public viewing of pop icon Michael Jackson's body later this week.

Jackson's body will be taken to the ranch, north of Santa Barbara, California, on Thursday in preparation for viewing Friday, a law enforcement official said. The family plans a private service Sunday.

The question of what killed Jackson last week has gone unanswered pending toxicology results. Fans across the globe Tuesday continued to mourn Jackson five days after the 50-year-old singer went into cardiac arrest.

A 2002 will from the performer has surfaced, but it may be one of several, Jackson family attorney Londell McMillan said. Until now, the Jackson family has said it had not seen one.

In New York, thousands lined the streets Tuesday outside Harlem's Apollo Theater, the hall that helped launch Jackson's career.

At 9, the singer won a 1967 Apollo amateur night showcase with his brothers.

"We left our house at 4 o'clock in the morning and got here at 9, and we were lucky to get here," said Angela Staples, who came from Pennsylvania with daughter Jasmine.

For many of Jackson's fans, the cause of his death bore less significance than remembering his life.

On Wednesday, the top nine positions on Billboard magazine's top pop catalog albums chart housed Jackson-related titles. Watch how singer's death has spurred sales »

Many fans said they were heartened to learn of Friday's public viewing.

"I came all the way here [to be near where Jackson lived], but to find this out -- that I can make a pilgrimage to his home to say goodbye to him -- that is beyond my wildest dreams," said Donna Lewis, a self-proclaimed "super fan" who drove to Los Angeles from San Francisco to mourn with fellow Jackson lovers.

Planning is under way for a 30-car motorcade carrying Jackson's remains to leave the Los Angeles area at 10 a.m. Thursday for Santa Barbara County, a law enforcement official said.

Jackson's hometown of Gary, Indiana, angled to have its favorite son buried there and planned a massive memorial service at a local ballpark in July.

Gary Mayor Rudy Clay told a Chicago, Illinois, radio station Tuesday that he has been in contact with the Jackson family about the burial.

A burial site could be near a proposed Jackson family museum and a performing arts center, said mayoral spokeswoman Lalosa Burns, who said Clay hadn't received any confirmation.

Clay told WGN that he expects Jackson's body, at the least, will be taken to Gary for a July 10 memorial service at U.S. Steel Works ballpark.

Jackson's father, Joe, has said Neverland Ranch has been ruled out as a burial site, but the family has given no public indication on where the singer's final resting place may be.

Michael Jackson purchased Neverland Ranch -- named for the fictional world in J.M. Barrie's "Peter Pan" -- in 1987 and filled it with animals and amusement rides.

Tom Barrack Jr., the billionaire who engineered Jackson's financial rescue last year and gained control of the ranch through his company, said the property's future will be discussed later.

The focus now, he said, is to ensure that grieving fans who gather there are treated properly.

As for the will, Jackson family lawyer McMillan acknowledged Tuesday that others may exist.

"We need a certain amount of time to look at that," McMillan said. "I don't personally know, but it's possible."

The 2002 will surfaced Monday after a Los Angeles judge gave the singer's mother, Katherine Jackson, temporary control of her son's "tangible personal property."

The pop icon's three children -- ages 7, 11 and 12 -- also were placed under his mother's temporary guardianship.

McMillan said he has seen the will but would not disclose its details.

"There is a process called probating the will that will validate any will in due course," he said.

After the sudden death of Michael Jackson Evan Chandler tells the truth. In 1993, Chandler told a psychiatrist and police that he and Jackson had engaged in sexual acts that included oral sex, the boy gave detailed description of Jackson's genitals. The case was settled out of court for a reported $22 million, but the strain led Jackson to begin taking painkillers. Eventually he became addicted.

Now maybe for the remorse of his death Chandler decides to tell us the truth. " I never meant to lie and destroy Michael Jackson but my father made me to tell only lies. Now I can't tell Michael how much I'm sorry and if he will forgive me ".

Evan Chandler was tape-recorded saying amongst other things, "If I go through with this, I win big-time. There's no way I lose. I will get everything I want and they will be destroyed forever. Under the influence of a controversial father (Jordan Chandler) told his son to tell that Jackson had touched his penis. Jordan Chandler then told a psychiatrist and later police that he and Jackson had engaged in acts of kissing, masturbation and oral sex, as well as giving a detailed description of what he alleged were the singer's genitals. "

Now for the first time i can't bare to lie anymore. Michael Jackson didn't do anything to me, all was my father lies to escape from being poor."

Posted: 06:19 PM ET

Michael was my idol.  He’s been my father figure since my father died.  It’s strange living without him.  I will never be the same, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over this loss.  It’s like losing your companion, someone you always thought would be there.  It’s just not right.  He meant a lot to me.  I feel like a different person than I was before Thursday.  I feel numb — lost.  He was a good friend for so many years.

I treasure the time I spent with Michael.  We’d go shopping together, go to Disneyland, take trips, spend time at Dad’s house.  He’d just come over and set up camp at my dad’s house for a while.  I enjoyed talking about music, eating together and having fun with Michael.  We were just good friends, that’s the best way I can put it.  He was always there for me when I needed him, and I’d like to think I was always there for him.

I don’t really have a single memory of Michael that sticks out.  It’s hard to do when you’ve been friends as long as we have.  My best memories are of the time we spent talking, him hugging me, having good conversations, and making him laugh — I really enjoyed making him laugh.  I could say some things — just a few words in his ear, and I could get a laugh out of him.  And boy, did he have an infectious laugh.

Above all, Michael was a very caring person.  He had a lot of love in his heart.  He cared about everybody, especially the people on the street.  He wasn’t stuck up — he had no ego, and he tried to make time for everybody because he didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  If he thought he did something wrong, it would really bother him.  He had more love than anyone I know.

The Michael I saw everyday was one that loved his kids.  They were his main focus.  He was a very busy man, but he always made sure the kids were being looked after.

What a lot of people may not realize about Michael, is how good a businessman he was.  The tour he was planning is a perfect example.  He was a perfectionist, and he knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it.  Everything regarding the tour had to be approved by Michael.  Just because he hasn’t been on TV or out in public a lot recently,  that doesn’t mean he wasn’t busy and active.  A lot of people have speculated he was really stressed over the tour, but I don’t think he was.  He went through the same routines he did for past tours.

I’ve thought about whether there were any similarities between Michael and my dad, and I cannot think of a single one.  You’ve heard opposites attract?  I think that explains their friendship.  They had absolutely nothing in common, but when you got them together, you couldn’t tear them apart.  He loved my dad, and they spent many days together at Dad’s house and at Neverland.  They were very close.

Michael was instrumental helping my father through the last few years of his life.  For that I will always be indebted to him.  Dad had a hard time breathing in his final days, and he was on oxygen much of the time.  He loved the outdoors, so Michael would invite him over to Neverland.  Dad could name all the trees there, and the flowers, but being on oxygen it was hard for him to get around and see them all, it’s such a big place.  So Michael got Dad a golf cart with a portable oxygen tank so he could go around and enjoy Neverland.  They’d just drive around — Michael Jackson, Marlon Brando, with an oxygen tank in a golf cart.

Some of the best times I spent with Michael were just sitting on a bench at Disneyland’s “Main Street.”  We would just sit there and people watch.  Sometimes Michael would be in a getup so people wouldn’t recognize him — but they always did.  When he was in a bad mood or a little down, I’d just say “Michael, the bench,”  and that would bring him out of it.  If I knew he wanted to have fun, or just get away, I’d say “let’s go to the bench,” and we were gone.

Of course, Michael Jackson in a public place like Disneyland was bound to draw crowds, and sometimes we would have park security with us.  But they weren’t there to protect Michael, they were there to protect the crowds.  He was never really concerned about himself, but that someone would get hurt in the crush of people that wanted to see him.  People would just go crazy when they saw Michael Jackson.

Michael rarely cried, but I think he’d be in tears over the reaction to his death.  He’d be overwhelmed and happy that so much of the love he gave was returned by the people he loved.  I think he’d take a deep breath and just say thank you.

The family is still planning the funeral, but I think Michael would want it to be a celebration.  He would want everybody there.  He loved his fans.  I’ve been around plenty of big movie stars, but Michael’s fans are beyond fans.  He knew the fans were what made him, and he wouldn’t want to leave anyone out.  Everywhere he went, fans would be there.  He’d tell me the fans always knew what he was doing.  I don’t think anyone has ever had fans like that.  So Michael would want a funeral that included his fans and made them happy.  He would want it to say: “I’m still with you and we’ll always be together.”  He was happy, and he wanted to make everybody around him happy.  Finally, he would want love.  Above all, Michael was about love.

By Craig Johnson
Special to CNN

(CNN) -- The star-studded BET Awards got under way without "the greatest star in the world," Joe Jackson, father of the late Michael Jackson, said on Sunday night.

"I wish the world had recognized him when he were living," Joe Jackson told CNN's Don Lemon outside the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California.

"Right now he's bigger than ever. But I wish he was here to see all this, to hear all this," Joe Jackson said.

When asked about circumstances surrounding his son's death, he said, "I have a lot of concerns but I can't get into that. ... I don't like what happened."

The awards opened with a fleet-footed New Edition, with Bobby Brown, performing an energized version of the Jackson 5 hit "The Love You Save," to raucous praise.

Host Jamie Foxx wore a red, leather "Billie Jean" jacket for his opening monologue and did his best to imitate Jackson's backward glide across the floor. See photos of the show's tributes >

In addition to Foxx, presenter Jeremy Piven mixed praise for Jackson with comic relief.

"If it wasn't for Michael Jackson, people like Justin Timberlake would be selling curly fries in the valley," the actor said. "I mean that with love."

This year's performers included, Beyonce, Keyshia Cole and R&B artist Neyo who performed a hard-hitting tribute to the 1990s with appearances by acts Keith Sweat, Guy and Bell Biv Devoe. Watch celebrities walk the red carpet before the show >

Near the end of the show, Michael Jackson's sister Janet Jackson spoke holding back tears: "My entire family wanted to be here tonight. It was just too painful. To you Michael is an icon. To us Michael is family. And he will forever live in all of our hearts."

The presenters included the past and present Uhura of "Star Trek": Zoe Saldana, who starred in the film, and Nichelle Nichols of the TV show.

The show also honored the soulful Ohio trio, The O'Jays, who were presented the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Tevin Campbell performed a rendition of The O'Jays classic "Forever Mine." Johnny Gill, Tyrese and Trey Songz performed a rumbling, soulful medley of The O'Jays hits that had some in the audience wondering if Songz was older than his years.

Among the award winners, Atlanta, Georgia-based singer Keri Hilson, who was nominated in four categories, received best new artist and Beyonce won best female artist.

Debra L. Lee, chairman and chief executive officer of Black Entertainment Television, said Jackson's death both saddened and energized the awards organizers.

"When we heard the news of Michael Jackon's passing we knew immediately we'd have to change the nature of this show," she said.

"We put the show together in a matter of three or four days. It's truly been a labor of love for us," Lee said.

Story Highlights

• Dr. Conrad Murray found Jackson not breathing but with a slight pulse

• Murray believed to be last person to see Michael Jackson alive

• Jackson's father concerned about his son's last moments

• Police conduct "extensive interview" with Murray

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Michael Jackson's father says he is concerned about the last moment's of his son's life and about the personal physician who found pop icon unconscious at the singer's estate.

"I have a lot of concerns," Joe Jackson told CNN's Don Lemon on the red carpet leading up to the BET Awards ceremony Sunday night. "I can't get into that, but I don't like what happened."

Michael Jackson's personal physician, who was questioned extensively by investigators over the weekend, found the singer not breathing in bed when he entered the singer's estate last week, according to the law firm representing the doctor.

However, Jackson did have slight pulse when Dr. Conrad Murray discovered him Thursday, and Murray gave tried to resuscitate the singer as he awaited paramedics, a representative with the law firm of Stradley, Chernoff and Alford law firm in Houston, Texas, told CNN Sunday.

Attorney Edward Chernoff is representing Murray. The law firm said reports that Murray injected Jackson with powerful painkillers, such as Demerol or Oxycontin, were false.

Funeral arrangements for Jackson were pending Sunday. "We haven't gotten to that yet -- we're working on that," Joe Jackson told CNN's Lemon.

Murray voluntarily met for several hours with detectives, the Los Angeles Police Department said late Saturday night.

"Detectives assigned to Robbery-Homicide Division met with Dr. Murray and conducted an extensive interview," a police statement said. "Dr. Murray was cooperative and provided information which will aid the investigation." Watch attorney for Jackson's doctor say his client is not a suspect >

Jackson's family suspects that Murray can answer some lingering questions about the singer's last hours, but they have been unable to contact him, the Rev. Jesse Jackson said Saturday.

"The routine inquiry is now an investigation," Jesse Jackson said. "They (Jackson family) didn't know the doctor. ... He should have met with the family, given them comfort on the last hours of their son." Watch latest developments in Jackson's death investigation >

Jackson family attorney L. Londell McMillan told CNN that a second autopsy is "under way."

"We'll let that process take its course," McMillan, who accompanied Joe Jackson to the BET Awards, told CNN.

McMillan said a will has not surfaced since Michael Jackson's death and that the singer's mother, Katherine Jackson, is seeking custody of his two children.

"Well, if there is no will, then under the state of California it goes to the next of kin. That's an adult to administer and oversee the best interests of the children and that would be Mr. and Mrs. Jackson," McMillan said. "And Katherine Jackson is the duly appointed person."

He added, "She will seek custody of the children. That's who Michael would have wanted to have the children, she loves them dearly."

On Saturday, the founder of 1-800-AUTOPSY, a private firm that conducts autopsies, told CNN that the Jackson family had contacted the business to inquire about possibly having a second autopsy done there.

Jesse Jackson added on Saturday that the family needed "an independent autopsy to get even more answers to questions that are now being driven by the gap between when Michael was last seen alive and was pronounced dead."

There are lingering questions, including: "How long had he stopped breathing? How long had he been unconscious?" Jesse Jackson said.

Michael Jackson was discovered unconscious Thursday by paramedics at his home, where Murray apparently had tried to revive him. He was rushed to a Los Angeles medical center, where he was pronounced dead. Listen to the 911 call >

An autopsy performed by a county medical examiner was inconclusive -- although officials said there were no indications of external trauma or foul play. The Los Angeles County coroner's office has said more tests are needed before a cause of death can be determined. That could take four to six weeks.

Detectives impounded Murray's car, which was parked at the singer's rented home, because, they said, it may contain evidence related to Jackson's death, possibly prescription medications. Police have released no information on what they may have found.

CNN's Ted Rowlands, Traci Tamura, Drew Griffin and Anna Coren contributed to this report.

The Jackson family issued a statement Saturday, conveyed by family patriarch Joseph Jackson. In full, it reads:

In one of the darkest moments of our lives we find it hard to find the words appropriate to this sudden tragedy we all had to encounter. Our beloved son, brother and father of three children has gone so unexpectedly, in such a tragic way and much too soon. It leaves us, his family, speechless and devastated to a point, where communication with the outside world seems almost impossible at times.

We miss Michael endlessly, our pain cannot be described in words. But Michael would not want us to give up now. So we want to thank all of his faithful supporters and loyal fans worldwide, you ? who Michael loved so much. Please do not despair, because Michael will continue to live on in each and every one of you. Continue to spread his message, because that is what he would want you to do. Carry on, so his legacy will live forever.

In addition, Joseph Jackson wishes to personally convey: "My grandchildren are deeply moved by all the love and support you have shown for them and their father, Michael Jackson."

Joseph Jackson & Family

By Todd Leopold
CNN

(CNN) -- There's a photo of the Jackson family on the cover of the September 24, 1971, issue of Life magazine. In it, Joseph and Katherine Jackson stand at the foot of a set of stairs, their star children -- known as the Jackson 5 -- arrayed behind them.

They appear to be the all-American clan, gold records arranged behind them, the boys loose and smiling, the parents more awkward and serious in their demeanor.

Over the years, that facade crumbled. The brothers bickered; some made accusations of abuse. But the group remained tight-knit through crises, including Thursday's tragedy, when Michael Jackson collapsed at his house and later died at UCLA Medical Center.

The journey began with music in Gary, Indiana. Joseph Jackson, the patriarch, played in a short-lived band called the Falcons (no relation to the Detroit-based group featuring Wilson Pickett) in the 1950s. His primary job, however, was as a crane operator at U.S. Steel.

Katherine Jackson, the musical and devoutly religious woman who he married in 1949, tended to the couple's large family: Rebbie, Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, La Toya, Marlon, Michael and Randy, all born between 1950 and 1961. Daughter Janet arrived in 1966.

By that time, the three oldest boys -- Jackie, Tito and Jermaine -- had started their own group, which Marlon and Michael eventually joined. Joseph Jackson saw a chance for his sons to have the musical career he'd found elusive.

Joseph Jackson admitted being a harsh taskmaster. He drove his sons hard, forcing them to rehearse with a James Brown-like intensity. He wasn't above emphasizing his feelings to his seventh child, Michael.

"My father teased me and I just hated it and I cried every day," Michael told Oprah Winfrey in 1993. He said his father also beat him: "He was very strict, very hard, very stern. ... There's been times when he'd come to see me, I'd get sick, I'd start to regurgitate."

He quickly said, imagining his father's reaction, "Please don't be mad at me."

Joseph Jackson disputed the word "beat," but didn't question Michael's account.

"I whipped him with a switch and a belt," he told the BBC in 2003. He added, "I never beat him. You beat someone with a stick."

In a 2005 interview with CNN's Larry King, Jermaine defended his father's actions.

"We grew up like any other black family. You did something, you got your butt tore up, and it wasn't tore up, it was just, you got a spanking," he said. "I will say this. He kept us off of the streets. He kept us away from drugs. He kept us away from gangs and ... we've been able to project a talent out there and have the support of strong people to entertain the world."

By 1968, when Michael turned 10, the Jackson 5 was a professional musical machine. They'd won an Apollo Theater talent night the previous year and were working the "chitlin circuit" of black clubs when producer Bobby Taylor urged Motown to sign the group. Motown founder Berry Gordy was impressed and made them "the last big stars to come off my assembly line," according to a biography on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Web site.

The group shot out of the gate with four No. 1 hits and gained a huge fan base, along with an animated TV show. But success took its toll, particularly when it wasn't so easy to come by.

In the mid-1970s, the band -- minus Jermaine, who'd married Gordy's daughter Hazel -- moved to Epic Records, where they were produced by the Philadelphia soul-funk team of Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff. The two remember nothing but good times from the sessions, which produced two albums and the Top 10 hit "Enjoy Yourself."

"It was a collaboration," Gamble said. "They all participated in creating. Tito was a great guitarist -- they were all great musicians."

Huff said he visited the Jackson compound during a trip to California and remembered a warm family setting, complete with a "fantastic meal" cooked by Katherine Jackson.

"I've got nothing but respect for the father," added Gamble. "He's a great man. He made something out of nothing."

Even during that era, however, Michael was standing out. Gamble and Huff recalled him taking a keen interest in recording technology and the way he sounded. Going solo with Quincy Jones producing, as he did in 1979, was the right move, Gamble and Huff said.

The family dynamics kept changing as the siblings grew older. After Michael's "Thriller" became the biggest album of all time, the brothers -- including Jermaine -- regrouped for a new album, "Victory," and accompanying tour. But Michael, now the undisputed draw, disagreed with some of the tour plans and ended up donating his earnings to charity.

Michael's brightened spotlight boosted the careers of his siblings; even Rebbie had a hit. But it was Janet who broke out with the most success, including the No. 1 singles "Miss You Much," "Black Cat" and "Again" in the 1980s and '90s.

With the increased interest in the Jacksons came tabloid scrutiny of the family's every move. When La Toya appeared nude in Playboy magazine, the story made headlines. She later criticized Michael and was on the outs for several years.

Jermaine put out a song called "Word to the Badd," an attack on Michael, in 1991; he later changed the lyrics. Janet's relationships were probed in detail, as were the brothers' marriages.

And Michael, of course, was seen as increasingly eccentric, his personality overwhelming his music.

But for all their own bickering, the family closed ranks when a member was attacked. In 1992, Jermaine co-produced "The Jacksons: An American Dream," a TV miniseries based on Katherine Jackson's memoir, which chronicled their rise to stardom. When Michael faced molestation allegations in the early '90s and was tried in 2005, the family rallied around.

"The Jackson family was groomed to be a team," said Linda Johnson Rice, president and CEO of Ebony and Jet magazines' Johnson Publishing and a longtime family friend. "As you can see through their performances, they were always there for each other."

In recent years, La Toya has appeared on the reality shows "Armed and Famous" and the UK "Celebrity Big Brother." She originally had a scene in the forthcoming Sacha Baron Cohen movie, "Bruno," but CNN confirmed the scene has been cut, "out of respect for Jackson's family," the studio told The (UK) Guardian.

Jermaine, who converted to Islam and changed his name to Muhammad Abdul-Aziz, appeared on "Celebrity Big Brother" in 2007. Jackie runs a record label, Tito remains involved in the music business, and according to a 2008 article in the New York Post, Marlon and Randy have struggled financially.

In the hospital emergency room Thursday, Randy and Jermaine were witnessed hugging and crying over their late brother.

"We're a family," Jermaine told Larry King in the 2005 interview. "We're no different than any other family who has feuds and problems. ... But at the same time, we're united, and we have a united front that is very, very strong, and it's supported by God.

"My mother and father did a great job in instilling the morals and principles in us from the very beginning. We feel that with that, that's all you need to go through life."

CNN's Alan Duke contributed to this article

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Michael Jackson's body was moved from a Los Angeles, California, coroner's office to a mortuary Friday evening, a coroner said.

The body was moved in a van about 9:30 p.m. PT (12:30 a.m. Saturday ET), but Jackson's family asked that the location not be made public, said Ed Winter, assistant chief coroner of the Los Angeles County Coroner's Office.

"We ask that you respect the family wishes," Winter told reporters. "They are all grieving in their different ways."

Earlier on Friday, Craig Harvey, a spokesman for the coroner's office, said Jackson's autopsy was completed, but more testing was needed to pinpoint the cause of death. Harvey said the tests would take four to six weeks.

Harvey did say there were no signs of foul play or trauma.

Jackson was in cardiac arrest when paramedics took him Thursday from his home to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, where the music idol was pronounced dead at 2:26 p.m. (5:26 p.m. ET).

In a 911 call released Friday, an unidentified caller told a dispatcher to send help. He told the dispatcher that Jackson was not breathing and Jackson's doctor was performing CPR on a bed. Jackson had been preparing for a comeback tour -- aimed at extending his legendary career and helping him to pay off hundreds of millions of dollars in debt.

Jackson is survived by his three children, Prince Michael I, Paris and Prince Michael II.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened. The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.

I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.

~LMP

June 25, 2009, is the saddest to us all especially to me personally. Since the start of this year two of my beloved relatives was taken away from me now Michael Jackson.

He has given his music, his heart to the world, sadly he gave his all that his fragile body was not able to take it. For us fans we mourn his passing. But we can do more, share the love he gave all of us. Continue helping the people close to his heart Children. No matter what people say us MJ Fans go on. In this way, we can hounor him even more.

To my brother Michael,

Thank you for every you gave us your fans. May you now in His arms feeling love your never felt in your life while you are with us. May He also give peace you longing for.

Peace,

Anna M.

The Legend and Undisputed King of Pop has died at age 50 due to cardiac arrest June 25, 2009. Cause is still unknown.

This webpage will update you or go CNN.

Michael Jackson's brother Jermaine has denied the singer's Neverland was ever for sale- insisting the property would go on the market "over my dead body".

California estate was reportedly scheduled to be sold off if Jackson fail to pay GBP 25.12 million he owned in property taxes by 19 March.

The Thriller hitmaker was believed to have saved his home by ageeing a deal with a investment group that will allow him ownership.

But Jermaine has insisted the property was never under threat.

He tells TMZ.com, " It's very simple . It is not for sale. Not over my dead body. It is not for sale

And when asked if the property would be sold if it went into foreclosure, he added, "That a myth.

Submitted by:

yahoo...

paul(mjcool)

Michael Jackson's brother Jermaine has denied the singer's Neverland was ever for sale- insisting the property would go on the market "over my dead body".

California estate was reportedly scheduled to be sold off if Jackson fail to pay GBP 25.12 million he owned in property taxes by 19 March.

The Thriller hitmaker was believed to have saved his home by ageeing a deal with a investment group that will allow him ownership.

But Jermaine has insisted the property was never under threat.

He tells TMZ.com, " It's very simple . It is not for sale. Not over my dead body. It is not for sale

And when asked if the property would be sold if it went into foreclosure, he added, "That a myth.

Submitted by:

yahoo...

paul(mjcool)

? Story Highlights
? "Thriller," released in Nov. 1982, just out in 25th anniversary edition
? Michael Jackson releases video thanking fans for its huge success
? Jackson: "Still much for to come for Michael Jackson"

NEW YORK (AP) -- Michael Jackson appeared in a video to thank fans for the success of "Thriller," the landmark record the reclusive singer is marking with a 25th anniversary edition.

Jackson will release the new version of the blockbuster album Tuesday, featuring new collaborations with Kanye West, Akon, Fergie and will.i.am.

"It's hard to believe that 25 years ago Quincy Jones and I embarked on an album named 'Thriller,' " Jackson said in a video message to fans released Monday by his record company, Sony-BMG.

It was not immediately clear exactly when Jackson had made the video, or where it was recorded. He also hinted that he's not through recording music.

"There is still much for to come for Michael Jackson," he said. "My passion for music has never stopped. ... It's my hope that 'Thriller' continues to live on for each new generation to discover."

Jackson, 49, soared to superstardom after releasing "Thriller" in November 1982. The instant classic spawned the hits "Billie Jean," "Beat It" and -- of course -- "Thriller," and introduced the moonwalk to legions of fans all around the world.

"To be able to say that 'Thriller' still holds the record as the biggest selling album of all time is just mind-blowing. I have you, my fans, throughout the world to thank for this achievement," said Jackson, who has sold more than 750 million albums worldwide.

Jackson -- whose previous disc, 2001's "Invincible," failed to produce any "Thriller"-level hits -- seemed poised for a career comeback after years of avoiding the spotlight (including a period of self-imposed exile in Bahrain following his acquittal in 2005 on child molestation charges.).

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.