Honey, I Shrunk the Audience
Part 3
A section of the stage begins to rotate to show the Dimensional
Duplicator, Professor Barkin's latest invention. Annabelle, Itchy and
Timmy walk over to the machine to begin the demostration.
ANNABELLE: This, ah, Dimensional Duplicator was developed right here by
Charles himself. (To herself) I never knew or had no idea he actually
invented anything...(Looks like Homer Simpson when he thinks to himself)
This fantastic machine can make exact copies of any object at all.
DUPLICATOR: PLEASE INSERT ITEM TO BE DUPLICATED NOW...
Itchy turns the machine on and walks back to join the angel
whippet. They don't notice that Timmy drops his mouse into the chamber
and enters the number 999 for the quantity.
ANNABELLE: Now, as I understand it, Itchy, all you do is you drop the
object into the chamber, select the number of copies, you press the
START button and BINGO. It's so easy, even a puppy can do it, ha-ha!
So now all we need is something to duplicate, (Looks around) but what?
DUPLICATOR: THANK YOU...COMMENCING COPY MODE NOW...
ANNABELLE: (Startled, spins around) What!!
ITCHY: Timmy! Get down from there...Don't play on that thing! It's not
a toy! (He runs over to grab his little brother)
TIMMY: No, Photon! I accidentally put him in there!
ANNABELLE: Itchy! Turn this machine off. Turn it off!
By now the machine begins to overload, the lights on stage
flicker on and off as smoke starts to rise from the Duplicator.
ITCHY: (In a panic) I don't know how. (Frantically he scans the control
panel for the STOP button)
ANNABELLE: (Looks angry) What do you mean you don't know how?! You said
you knew how to work it!
ITCHY: Charlie only showed me how to turn it on. He forgot to mention
about where the STOP button is.
TIMMY: Uh-oh, I think we're in trouble. I made a blooper!
ANNABELLE: Ah! Well, well pull the plug!
STAR: Cut the power! (He yells up to Kaltag & Nikki in the rafters)
ITCHY: There is no plug. It's under nuclear power or something.
STAR: Cut it! (Again gives the command)
ANNABELLE: (Shocked) It's nuclear what?!!
The main power is shut off causing the lights to black out. The
Duplicator begins to whine or slow down very similar to a phonograph
record player slowing down once it is turned off. The room falls silent
except for the sound of squeaking mice.
STAR: (Curious) Where are all the mice going?
ITCHY: Towards the people.
ANNABELLE: Out to the audience?
TIMMY: Oh good grief! (Sounds like Charlie Brown)
The mice have made their way into the audience as the
angel-guests yell & scream with laughter, jumping & leaping about in
their chairs or seats. The only way to get rid of the mice is with a
cat, so Annabelle, Timmy, Itchy turn to Barkin's other invention, the
Pet Holograph machine.
ITCHY: How are we going to get rid of them?
TIMMY: I haven't a clue big brother. (Looks confused)
ANNABELLE: Hmmm...(Thinks for a spell) I think this would be the perfect
time to demostrate Professor Barkin's No-Mess Holopet.
Itchy carefully turns this machine on and a 3D/VR image of a
tabby kitten is projected above the angel whippet's head as she speaks
to the crowd, unaware of what is behind her.
ANNABELLE: It's perfect for those who want the, uh, companionship of a
pet with none of the associated mess. (Cat meows behind her) Or mice,
(Turns to look & gasps) Aiiiiiie! Where did that kitten come from?
TIMMY & ITCHY: HEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Laugh uncontrollably)
ANNABELLE: (Narrowed eyes, paws on hips) I heard that you two jokers!
TIMMY: Aunt Anna afraid of a harmless kitten, nyah-nyah-nyyyyyaaaah!
ANNABELLE: Ooooh, I'm gonna get you. You just wait and see if I don't.
She warns him with a evil grin, pointing finger at puppy with
lightning crackling from tip, eyes glowing with blue fire. She looks
almost like Lord Rayden from Mortal Kombat the Movie.
ITCHY: A little more power.
TIMMY: Yes sir brother. (Manipulates controls)
The kitten morphs into a mountain lion and opens its mouth
making a small snarling growl.
ANNABELLE: Gaaaaaaaaah! What are you doing to that poor kitten?!!
TIMMY: Whoops? Oops, I didn't do it, I didn't do it. (Tries looking
innocent)
ITCHY: (Alarmed) Too much, too much!
ANNABELLE: Oooooooh myyyyyyy gooooooooosh! (Again she has horror on her
face)
The mountain lion morphs into an african lion which gives a loud
roar and lunges towards the audience, trying to swipe at them with its
paws. Screaming, Annabelle throws herself prone onto the stage,
hand-paws covering her head in terror. Itchy starts screaming too,
covering his eyes while Timmy clings to him in fear, eyes wide and too
frightened to scream or move. Angel assistants run away from the
sparking machine as the stage lights flicker once again and go out for
the second time as the illusion is sucked back into the machine which
powers down and shuts itself off. The theater is now cleared of mice,
both the Duplicator and Holopet turned off. Once the main lights come
back on, we notice that Professor Barkin has returned. His HoverPod
flies around the stage once more.
ANNABELLE: (Cracks bad joke) Professor Charles, care to drop in and join
us?
CHARLIE: Don't worry, this baby stops on a dime. Anybody got a dime?
(He flies towards the back of the stage) OK, get it working. Let me
have it!
The assistants activate the Shrinking-Enlarging Laser, the
brilliant beam striking the german shepherd as he dissapears just out of
view from the crowd. We hear sound effects and glowing lights...
ITCHY: Charlie! (Runs towards backstage) You need help?
TIMMY: Big brother, daddy? (Also runs)
ANNABELLE: Is he all right? (Looks worried, concerned)
ITCHY: He's okay, he's back to normal-size.
ANNABELLE: OK, that'll do, for now I guess. (Shrugs, sighs)
Then Charlie himself emerges from behind the curtain and joins
his two brothers and angel-boss.
CHARLIE: Hey Lucy I'm home! (Mimics Ricky's famous words)
ITCHY: Still got some kinks?
CHARLIE: Gotta get a couple kinks out of that thing, otherwise it flies
beautiful. (Speaks to audience) Oh, ah, sorry for the delay everybody,
but strange things can happen when you're the size of a cocktail weenie.
Just ask my brother Itchy, he'll tell you all about it.
ITCHY: Charlie! Do we have to go through that again? (Looks angry)
ANNABELLE: Charles, I mean Professor, maybe this isn't a good day to
demostrate the Shrinking Laser.
CHARLIE: Oh, nonsense, it's a great day for it. Now, what were we going
to shrink?
STAR: Bring out the family.
ANNABELLE: (Startled, can't believe what she just heard) The family?!
CHARLIE: (Explains) Oh, no-no-no, just their luggage. You see, that's
the amount of luggage that the average family takes on vacation.
A volunteer angel-family steps onto stage, depositing their
suitcases, carry-ons, backpacks, etc. Suddenly they realize they are
the target of the machine, so they drop their things and make a run for
it! Everybody else starts laughing at their antics.
CHARLIE: (Continues to explain) But now, with the help of my new, more
powerful Shrinking machine, all that luggage is going to fit right
comfortably in the palm of my hands.
He activates the start-up process, powering up the main
batteries or generator. Then when everything is ready, gives the GREEN
LIGHT/ALL CLEAR signal to Itchy.
CHARLIE: Let her rip Itch.
ITCHY: Aye-aye Barkin. (Salutes him) Here goes nothing.
He hits the START BUTTON. Suddenly the machine as though it has
a mind of its own tips, lifting a startled Charlie into the air.
CHARLIE: Whooooooooa! (Yells in suprise & shock)
TIMMY: Daddy? Big brother?
Then the german shepherd hits the floor.
CHARLIE: Ouch! Why you stupid, no-good . . .!
ITCHY: Charlie?
The laser spins around, blasting holes in some walls and
scattering the angel technicians. Annabelle begins to panic.
ANNABELLE: Charles! What's going on?
CHARLIE: Everything's under control here.
ANNABELLE: Are you sure?
CHARLIE: Oh yeah. I just have to reach the...(Gets stung by laser) Ow!
You no-good bucket of bolts!
ANNABELLE: (Getting mad) I'm trying to give a demostration here, Barkin!
CHARLIE: Itch, Tim! Help me shut this thing off!
Together all 3 canines attempt to find out how to stop the
machine before something goes wrong. Meanwhile the laser hits one of
the side walls of the stage causing sparks and smoke to go off.
CHARLIE: There's a switch over here, Itchy.
ANNABELLE: Turn it off...
ITCHY: Which one?
ANNABELLE: And we'll do something else...
CHARLIE: The purple one.
TIMMY: Charlie they're all purple.
CHARLIE: They are? Nuts! Darn it! I should have painted them
rainbow colors instead of all one color.
Now Anna stands before the audience, reminding them to make sure
their safety goggles are on. What she dosen't know is that the laser is
now pointed directly at her back, powering up.
ANNABELLE: Please make sure that you have your safety goggles firmly
secured on your forehead.
ITCHY: (Jumps to his feet, runs towards her) Anna! Behind you, look
out!
ANNABELLE: (Spins around) Huh? What-the...(Sees what's about to happen
to her) NOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Cries in terror, arms go up to protect her)
In knocking Annabelle down and pushing her safely out of the way
just in time, Itchy accidentally puts himself in the path of the laser!
Suddenly without warning the machine activates, the laser fires! Its
brilliant beam lashes out like a striking cobra and impacts the audience
of frightened angel-dogs, including Itchy who couldn't get out of the
way in time. Everybody is surrounded by a pulsating, crackling glowing
aura of blue-white lightning. The theater begins to SHRINK!
END OF PART 3
Go to Part 4!
