Conversations with Vader
Title: Conversations With Vader
Author: Melody Packman
Author email: Mlp1@flash.net
Author homepage:
www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Stadium/5758/ISPY.html
Catagory: Humor
Keywords: Script
Spoilers: None
Summary: A play about a father who goes crazy after seeing Star
Wars and subsequ8ently thinks he is Darth Vader.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created
and owned by Lucasfilm, Ltd. No money is being made and no
infringement is intended.
CONVERSATIONS WITH VADER
ACT ONE
Scene One
Scene opens in a white, sterile looking room in an asylum.
We see a man in black, heavy breathing in and out of a
green hospital mask, occasionally waving back and forth a
skinny cardboard tubing that looks like it was colored red
with a crayon.
FRED
(talking to the air)
So we meet again, Obi-Wan.
CHRIS
(walks in room)
Hello father.
FRED
(turns toward the voice, then back to the air)
Ah, you have taught him well, Obi-Wan. I can feel the power
within him.
(takes deep breath of hospital mask)
CHRIS
Dad, please, when are you going to get better?! Ever since
we went to see the Star Wars film festival, all you keep
doing is talking like Darth Vader. I--I just can't take it
much longer.
FRED
Ah, but you are strong, Luke.
(clenches fists)
Turn to the darkside and together we will rule the universe
as father and son.
(takes deep breath of hospital mask)
CHRIS
Dad! Please! Stop this! I thought I could handle coming to
see you today, but I--I guess not.
(starts heading toward the door)
FRED
Stop Luke!
(hits Chris with red tubing)
Where is your lightsaber?
CHRIS
I'm not Luke Skywalker, Dad! And I have no lightsaber. And
neither do you!
CHRIS
(takes tubing and throws it to the ground)
Snap out of this, Dad!
FRED
The force is strong in you.
(deep breath of mask)
I can feel the anger surging within you. Your anger makes you
powerful, son. With your power combined with mine, we can
conquer the rebel alliance!
CHRIS
(sighs, then looks up at Fred)
Dad, please! You have to face who you really are.
FRED
Yes, it's true. I am your father.
CHRIS
No! I mean REALLY face it...just like--like Darth Vader faced
being Anakin Skywalker. Like, remember at the end of Return of
the Jedi, he confessed to no longer being Vader, but just plain ol'
Anakin. That's what you got to do, Dad! You need to be YOU
again.
FRED
(silence, then deep breath of mask)
There's a disturbance in the force.
(rises from chair and starts to wander off
stage right)
Your sister Leia needs to be spoken to.
CHRIS
(puts head in hands and sighs)
I've got a bad feeling about this.
Scene Two
Curtain opens to reveal a living room set. A brown plush
couch, table, chair and lamp decorate the stage. Lauren, a girl of
her late teens, is seen sitting on the couch reading a book. After a
moment, Chris, her brother, enters the room, his head hung low.
LAUREN
(looks up at the sound of her brother's
footsteps)
Hi Chris. What's wrong?
CHRIS
(sits opposite her in the chair)
I just came back from seeing dad.
LAUREN
(pauses)
Oh. How's he doing?
CHRIS
(sighs)
Not so good. He's still on this kick about being Darth Vader. The
whole time he kept calling me Luke, and saying that I should turn
to the Dark Side so that I could rule the universe with him.
LAUREN
That must've been horrible seeing him like that.
CHRIS
It was. I felt helpless. I wanted so much just to shake him and be
able to bring him back to normal. I was talking to him and all of a
sudden, he was quiet. And you know, for a moment, I thought I
was beginning to get through to him.
LAUREN
Really? What had you been saying?
CHRIS
I reminded him of how Father...I mean...Darth Vader decided just
to be Anakin in the end. I told Dad that that was what he needed to
do.
LAUREN
And he responded well to that?
CHRIS
Well, not really. He just sort of stared off into space and
was quiet a moment like he was reflecting on something. The next
thing he said was he wanted to talk to you.
LAUREN
Me?
CHRIS
Well, Leia.
LAUREN
Oh.
CHRIS
But he meant you, I'm sure of it.
LAUREN
(throws up her hands and gets up to start
pacing the floor)
Oh Chris, why is he like this?! How come all of a sudden he
doesn't know what's reality anymore?
CHRIS
(shakes his head)
I-I don't know, Lauren.
LAUREN
(takes a deep breath, then walks to the couch to lay down)
Do you think it's because of mom?
CHRIS
I would guess so. I guess that he never really got over mom's death.
He took it pretty hard.
LAUREN
But so did the rest of us, but you don't see us flipping out!
CHRIS
Stop it! He's not 'flipping out' as you so nicely put it.
LAUREN
Oh really?
CHRIS
He's just...well, trying to get past a hard time in his life and this is
how he chooses to handle it.
LAUREN
He could've chosen some other way. Maybe if you hadn't taken him
to see Star Wars, he wouldn't be like this!
CHRIS
I only meant for him to have a good time, to get his mind off of
things. I certainly didn't mean for this to happen!
LAUREN
(calming down)
I know, I know. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do anymore.
CHRIS
I guess all we can do is be strong for him.
LAUREN
Oh Chris, I don't know if I can.
(bows her head down)
CHRIS
I wish the force was strong in me like Dad says.
LAUREN
(looks up)
Huh?
CHRIS
Oh Obi-Wan, make me strong so I can help Father.
LAUREN
Uh, Chris, are you okay? What are you mumbling on about?
CHRIS
(shaking his head)
What?
LAUREN
You were...uh...kind of talking to yourself.
CHRIS
I was? What about?
LAUREN
You mean you don't remember doing it?
CHRIS
No. What'd I say?
LAUREN
Something about getting strength from Obi-Wan.
CHRIS
(laughing)
You're kidding, right?
LAUREN
No. Um, maybe going to see Dad took a lot out of you. Maybe you
should go lie down.
CHRIS
Oh c'mon sis, I'm fine. Okay, so maybe I am a little tired, but that
doesn't mean I'm freaking out or anything because of it.
LAUREN
I didn't say that.
CHRIS
No, but that was what you were thinking. I could see it in the way
you were looking at me just then. You looked at me like I was
'flipping out'. You think I'm going crazy like Father.
LAUREN
Okay, okay. Calm down.
CHRIS
I--I didn't mean to get so caught up like that. I must learn to
concentrate more so I don't get so wound up.
LAUREN
Chris, I really think you should lie down.
CHRIS
Nonsense! Actually, Leia--
LAUREN
(turns her head suddenly to look at Chris)
What did you just call me?!
CHRIS
I called you Lauren. That is your name, you know.
(starts to laugh)
What's wrong with you today? You seem weird.
LAUREN
I sound weird? You're the one who just called me Leia! Chris, I--I
think you should go see Doctor Moore.
CHRIS
Oh give me a break. I don't need to go see Dad's shrink just
because you need to get your ears examined. Why in the world
would I call you Leia? Sheesh. Anyhow, like I was going to say
before you got all paranoid, was that I'm going to go practice my
lightsaber...
(shakes his head as if his head was in a fog)
Um, I mean, my fencing.
(exits stage)
LAUREN
Oh! What is happening to this family! I better call Dr. Moore.
Maybe he knows what is happening to Chris. While I'm at it, I'll
see if I can schedule an appointment to see Dad. He did want to see
me. Maybe I can talk some sense into him. I've got to be strong for
this family. Someone's got to take control. Dad has completely lost
it and it seems that Chris is on that same road.
(pauses)
Help me, Obi-Wan, you're my only hope.
(Curtain falls)
Scene Three
Scene opens in the recreation room of the asylum. Inmates are
drawing, painting, working with yarn, and playing games. Fred is
seen standing in the corner, waving his red cardboard tubing and
talking to himself. On the other side of the room, Lauren and Dr.
Moore are seen walking in.
DOCTOR MOORE
So you say Chris is acting a lot like his father?
LAUREN
Yes. I suppose it could just be exhaustion, but--well, it just
concerned me.
DOCTOR MOORE
Hmm, well it could be that Chris is finding this too difficult to deal
with. He may be retreating into your Father's world in order that he
can relate to how his father is feeling.
LAUREN
Great, so now my brother is going crazy too, is that what you're
saying?
DOCTOR MOORE
Now, don't worry about it. We may be jumping to conclusions.
Look, have him get some rest and if he starts to get worse, bring
him in so I can judge for myself.
LAUREN
All right. I will.
(looks toward Fred)
FRED
(says to the air)
This time I will destroy you, Obi-Wan.
LAUREN
(to the doctor)
He's not getting any better, is he?
DOCTOR MOORE
(Sighs)
I'm afraid not. Maybe your visit will make a difference. Why don't
you go try talking to him.
(leads her over to Fred)
Fred?
FRED
(turns around)
What is your bidding, my master?
DOCTOR MOORE
You have a visitor this afternoon if you don't have any plans.
FRED
(clenches fists)
I will find those plans, my Master.
(turns to look at Lauren)
Where is the secret Rebel Base?
LAUREN
(looks to the Doctor)
Is he always like this?
DOCTOR MOORE
I'm afraid so. Maybe if you play along, he'll snap out of it.
(turns to Fred)
Your daughter is here to see you Fred. Talk with her for awhile.
FRED
(bows his head)
As you wish.
DOCTOR MOORE
(exits the stage)
FRED
Your planet Alderaan will soon be destroyed if you don't tell me
where you've hidden those plans.
LAUREN
(playing along)
Plans? What plans?
FRED
You know very well what plans, your highness. Tell me or your
rebel scum friends will suffer for your allegiance to that Alliance.
LAUREN
You'll never get the information from me. They're hidden far away,
Lord Vader.
FRED
I feel the strength from within you. You're strong...as is your
brother. The force must run strong in your family.
LAUREN
(breaking down)
Oh Father, it does! We are all strong! Even you! If only you could
come back to us.
FRED
You're Father as you knew him no longer exists. I am mostly
machine now.
(takes deep breaths)
LAUREN
No, I won't accept it! You're in there somewhere. I--I can feel it. If
only there was someway to get through to you, to tell you that it
wasn't your fault, and that we understand.
FRED
(looks to Lauren)
LAUREN
Yes Father, you hear me?! We understand that you didn't mean to
kill her! It was an accident. You don't need to hide away from us or
yourself. Come back to us and let us be a family again.
FRED
(sits down, dropping his tubing)
I can't. I am too far gone.
(saying sadly)
If only you knew the power of the Dark Side. It is too powerful for
even me, my daughter. I can't break free from it.
LAUREN
Yes you can and you must, not just for yourself but for Chris' sake
as well.
DOCTOR MOORE
(Walks in and joins Lauren and Fred)
I am afraid that you're time is up, Lauren. It's time for me and Fred
to have our session.
LAUREN
Okay doctor.
(starts to follow the doctor out, when she
decides to look over her shoulder)
Please try and get better, Father.
(exits offstage with Doctor Moore)
(Curtain falls)
Scene Four
Scene opens in Doctor Moore's office, medical certificates hung all
about the room. Doctor Moore has a big mahogany desk at one
end, topped with stacks of papers and a tape recorder. Across from
the desk is a soft, white chair. Doctor Moore is at present sitting at
his desk. Fred sits across from him in the chair.
DOCTOR MOORE
Okay, Fred, for today's session, I'd like to try something a bit out of
the ordinary, but I think in your situation, it just might work. We're
going to try a little hypnosis. Is that all right with you?
FRED
As you wish, my master.
DOCTOR MOORE
Good. Just sit back and relax. Look at the watch, Fred.
(swings pocketwatch back and forth)
Concentrate on the sound of my voice. Count backwards with me
to one.
DOCTOR MOORE AND FRED
(together)
Five, four, three, two, one.
(Fred closes his eyes, as if in a dreamstate)
DOCTOR MOORE
(presses Play on his tape recorder)
Good. Now, Fred, I want you to go back to the day that your son
took you to the Star Wars film festival.
FRED
He...He said he wanted to get my mind off of things for a few
hours.
DOCTOR MOORE
What kind of things, Fred?
FRED
I...I don't remember.
DOCTOR MOORE
Now you went to your seats and the movie started. Were you
enjoying it?
FRED
Yes. Chris knew it was my favorite movie.
Something...Something's wrong though. I'm-I'm no longer in the
theatre.
DOCTOR MOORE
Where are you now, Fred?
FRED
In a car.
DOCTOR MOORE
Is there anyone else with you?
FRED
My wife Julie. We're laughing about something. She has the most
wonderful laugh. Oh, she's saying now that I'm driving a little too
fast than I should be, but no one is on the road with us so I just
laugh it off. As I'm driving we pass a colorful sign that caught my
eye. I realize it's the announcement for the Star Wars film festival. I
turn back so that I catch what it says before we're out of distance
from it.
DOCTOR MOORE
What happened next, Fred?
FRED
AAA!!
DOCTOR MOORE
What's going on? What's wrong? Remember that you're safe here.
FRED
A car came suddenly into our lane while I wasn't looking, swerving
into our lane! It hit the car and knocked Julie's side against the
guardrail! The car went right past us and
didn't even check to see if we were okay. Julie! Julie! Wake up!
She's not waking up! It's all my fault! If I had been watching where
I had been going...
DOCTOR MOORE
It's not your fault, Fred. I think I understand the problem now.
When I count to five, you'll wake up and remember everything.
One, two, three, four, five. Wake up.
(presses Stop)
FRED
(opens his eyes)
DOCTOR MOORE
Do you remember anything?
FRED
(nods)
DOCTOR MOORE
Do you know who you are?
FRED
Yes.
DOCTOR MOORE
Who are you?
FRED
(quietly)
Fred.
(pause)
I killed her. Oh poor Julie. I killed her.
DOCTOR MOORE
No, Fred. It was an accident. The driver of the other car was out of
control. It wasn't your fault.
FRED
But if I had been paying more attention--
DOCTOR MOORE
Don't second-guess yourself, Fred. Who's to say that--
(Suddenly, Chris comes in, walking slowly. He is wearing a black
hooded cape that looks it might have one year been a Halloween
costume. Doctor Moore and Fred turn toward him.)
Who are you, and what are you doing in my office?
CHRIS
Don't try to seduce me to the Dark Side, Emperor. It will never
work.
(turns to Fred)
Father, draw your lightsaber. I must finally face you. It is my
destiny.
FRED
Look, son, I really can't take this now. I just remembered what
happened to your mother, and Doctor Moore thinks I may be
getting better. I need to be able to work on that now. I need your
help, along with Lauren's.
DOCTOR MOORE
Yes, Chris. Your father needs all the help and understanding he can
get right now.
CHRIS
(turns to Doctor Moore)
I will never rule the Universe with you. Yoda has taught me well,
taught me how to be strong.
(turns back to Fred)
And now, are you ready to face me Father?
DOCTOR MOORE
(starts gesturing with his hands)
Your father is getting better now. Try to--
CHRIS
(backs away, as if scared)
Not the lightning! Please Emperor! Help me, Father!
(Lauren runs into the office, out of
breath)
LAUREN
I'm sorry, Doctor. Chris has been getting worse and rambling on
about being Luke Skywalker. At one time, he started to talk to our
small vacuum cleaner, and calling it R2-D2. He was trying to
decide whether he should come down here and "face Father". As
hard as I tried, I couldn't stop him from deciding to come down
here.
DOCTOR MOORE
It's all right, Lauren.
FRED
For the last time, Chris, please snap out of this. I'm-I'm going to
fine. Your mother would want you to move on from this. She
would want you to be better. I know now that the car accident
wasn't my fault.
(reaches over to hug Chris)
I love you son.
CHRIS
(Chris is tense at first in his Father's arms, then lets himself be
held comfortably)
Oh Dad, I love you too. I want us so much to be a family again.
FRED
We will. We'll both recover--together, with your sister's help.
(Lauren comes over and joins in the hug)
DOCTOR MOORE
Why don't you three go to the dining hall and get something to eat.
(Fred and Chris start to head out the door)
FRED
Aren't you coming, Lauren?
LAUREN
I'll be there in a minute, Dad. Go on ahead.
FRED
Okay, sweetie. Don't be long.
LAUREN
(closes the door after they leave)
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for all the trouble my father and
brother put you through.
DOCTOR MOORE
Oh it was no trouble at all, Lauren. It's my job to handle patients
such as your family and make them well again. I'm just glad that
everything turned out as well as it did.
LAUREN
(she laughs)
I don't see how my brother could've mixed you up with being the
Emperor. I mean, who could not see you for the scruffy pilot
smuggler that you are. I'll see you later, Han.
(walks out of the room)
DOCTOR MOORE
(long pause, Doctor Moore having a
bewildered look on his face. Aside, saying sarcastically)
Where's that damn Wookie when I need him?
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