Characters

Prologue

[Narrator:]
Long ago, in the faraway land of ancient Greece,
there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraodinary heros,
but the greatest and strongest of all these heros
was the mighty Hercules.  
But, what is the measure of a true hero?
Now, that is what our story ...

[Girl 1:]
Will you listen to him?
he's makin' the story sound like some greek tragedy!

[Girl 2]   Lighten up dude!

[Girl 3:]   We'll take it from here, darling!  

[Narrator:]  You go girls!

[Girl 3:]
We are the muses, godesses of the arts, and proclaimers of heroes.

 [Girl 2:]  Heros like Hercules!

[Girl 1:]
Honey, you mean HUNK-ules.  
Whoo-hoo, I'd like to make some sweet music with him...

[Girl 3:]
Our story actually begins long before Hercules... many eons ago... 

The Gospel Truth I

Back when the world was new,
The planet Earth was down on its luck.
And everywhere gigantic brutes
called Titans ran amok!
It was a nasty place!
There was a mess wherever you stepped.
Where chaos reigned and earthquakes
and volcanoes never slept!

And then along came Zeus-
He hurled his thunderbolt-
He zapped!
Locked those suckers in a vault!
They're trapped!
And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks.
And that's the gospel truth!

The guy was too type A to just relax.
And that's the world's first dish.
Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth.
Though, honey, it may seem inposs'ble-
That's the gospel truth!
On mount Olympus life was neat
and smooth as sweet vermouth.
Though, honey, it may seem inposs'ble-
That's the gospel truth!

The Gospel Truth II

He ran the Underworld,
But thought the dead were dull and uncouth.
He was as mean as ruthless-
And that's the gospel truth.
He had a plan to shake things up-
And that's the gospel truth!

The Gospel Truth III

Young Herc was mortal now,
But since he did not drink the last drop
He still retained his godlike strength-
So thank his lucky star!
But Zeus and Hera wept
Because their son could never come home.
They'd have to watch their precious baby
Grow up from afar.
Though Hades' horrid
Was hatched before Herc cut his first tooth,
The boy grew stronger ev'ry day
And that's the gospel truth!

Go the Distance

I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me.
Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be.
I will find my way, I can go the distance!
I'll be there someday- If I can be strong!
I know every mile will be worth my while.
I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong.

I am on my way - I can go the distance!
I don't care how far - Somehow I'll be strong.
I know ev'ry mile will be worth my while
I would go most anywhere to find where I belong.

Go the Distance (Reprise)

I will beat the odds - I can go the distance!
I will face the world - Fearless, proud, and strong.
I will please the gods - I can go the distance!
'Till I find my hero's welcome
Right where I belong.

One Last Hope

So, ya' wanna be a hero, kid?
 Well, whoop-de-do!
I have been around the block before
With blockheads just like you.
Each and everyone a disappointment -
Pain for which there ain't no ointment.
So much for excuses - Though a kid of Zeus'
is asking me to jump into the fray!
My answer is two words... O.K!
You win, Oh gods, Oy vay!

I've given up hope that someone would come along.
A fellow who'd ring the bell for once, not the gong!
The king who wins trophies - Won't settle for low fees...
At least semi-pro fees, But NO! I get the greenhorn.

I've been out to pasture pal, my ambition gone!
Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn.
But you need an advisor, A satyr, but wiser,
A good merchandiser, and oohh!
There goes my ulcer!

I'm down to one last hope - and I HOPE it's you.
Though, kid, you're not exactly a dream come true.
I've trained enough turkeys who never came through.
You're my one last hope, so you'll have to do!
Demigods have faced the odds and ended up a mockery.
Don't believe the stories that you read on all the crockery.
To be a true hero, kid, is a dying art.
Like painting a masterpiece, it's a work of heart!
It takes more than sinew - comes down to what's in you,
You have to continue to grow... now that's more like it!

I'm down to one last shot and my last high note
Before that blasted Underworld gets my goat.
My dreams are on you, kid - go make 'em come true!
Climb that uphill slope, keep pushin' that envelope!
You're my one last hope and kid it's up to you! 

Zero to Hero

Bless my soul!  Herc was on a roll!
Person of the week in ev'ry Greek opinion poll.
What a pro - Herc could stop a show!
Point him at a monster and you're talking S.R.O!
He was a no one - A zero, zero!
Now he's a honcho - He's a hero!
Here was a kid with his act down pat.
From zero to hero - In no time flat.
Zero to hero - Just like that!

When he smiled the girls went wild
with oohhhs and aahhhs.
And they slapped his face on ev'ry vase
- On ev'ry "VAHSE"
From appearance fees and royalties,
our Herc had cash to burn.
Now nouveau riche an' famous -
He could tell you what's a Grecian urn!

Say amen - There he goes again!
Sweet and undefeated and an awesome 10 for 10!
Folks lined up just to watch him flex.
And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs!
Hercie, he comes. he sees, he conquers.
Honey, the crowds were goin' bonkers!
He showed the moxie brains and spunk!
From zero to hero - A major hunk!
Zero to hero - And who'da thunk?

Who put the "glad" in "gladiator"?
Hercules!
Who's daring feats are great the-a-ter?
Hercules!
Is he bold?  No one braver!
Is he sweet?  Our favorite flavor!
Hercules, Hercules...
Bless my soul, Herc was on a  role - Undefeated!
Riding high, and the nicest guy - Not conceited!

He was a nothin' - A zero, zero.
Now he's a honcho - He's a hero!
He hit the heights with breakneck speed!
From zero to hero... Herc is a hero!
Now he's a hero!  Yes indeed!!!

I Won't Say (I'm In Love)

If there's a prize for rotten judgment,
I guess I've already won that.
No man is worth the aggravation -
That's ancient history, been there, done that!

Who'd'ya think you're kiddin',
He's the Earth and heaven to you.
Try to keep it hidden,
Honey, we can see right through you.
Girl, you can't conceal it,
we know how ya' feel and who you're thinking of.

No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no.
You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh, oh!
It's too cliche, I wont say I'm in love!
I thought my heart had learned its lesson...
It feels so good when you start out!
My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!
Unless you're dying to cry your eyes out!" Oh...

You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling.
Baby, we're not buying, Hon, we saw ya' hit the ceiling!
Face it like a grown up - When 'ya gonna own up
That ya' got, got, got it bad!
No chance. no way, I won't say it no, no.
Give up give in, check the grin - you're in love!
This scene won't play, I won't say I'm in love...

You're doin' flips, read our lips, You're in love!
You're way off base!  I won't say it!
Get off my case!  I won't say it!
Girl, don't be proud, it's O.K. you're in love.
Oh... At least out loud... I won't say I'm in love!

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