Goodbye So Soon
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Music: Henry Mancini
Lyrics: Larry Grossman and Ellen Fitzhugh
Performed by: Vincent Price [Ratigan]
Goodbye so soon
And isn't this a crime?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short I'll say so long
And go
So soon
Goodbye
You followed me, I followed you
We were like each other's shadows for a while
Now as you see, this game is through
So although it hurts, I'll try to smile
As I say
Goodbye So Soon (Reprise)
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Music: Henry Mancini
Lyrics: Larry Grossman and Ellen Fitzhugh
Goodbye so soon
And isn't it a shame?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye so soon
We'll go our separate ways
With time so short I'll say so long
And go
So soon
Goodbye
Let me be Good to You
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Written by: Melissa Manchester
Performed by: Melissa Manchester [show girl]
Dearest friends, dear gentlemen
Listen to my song
Life down here's been hard for you
Life has made you strong
Let me lift the mood
With my attitude
Hey fellas
The time is right
Get ready
Tonight's the night
Boys, what you're hopin' for will come true
Let me be good to you
You tough guys
You're feelin' all alone
You rough guys
The best o' you sailors and bums
All o' my chums
So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cosy
Your baby's here
You won't be misunderstood
Let me be good to you
Hey fellas
I'll take off all my blues
Hey fellas
There's nothin' I won't do
Just for you
So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cosy
Your baby's here
Hey boys, I'm talkin' to you
Your baby's gonna come through
Let me be good to you
Yeah!
The World's Greatest Criminal Mind
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Music: Henry Mancini
Lyrics: Larry Grossman and Ellen Fitzhugh
Performed by: Vincent Price [Ratigan],
Barrie Ingham [Bartholomew], et al.
[Ratigan:]
My friends, we are about to embark on the most odious,
the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career.
A crime to top all crimes, a crime that will live in infamy!
[Chorus:] <assorted cheers>
[Ratigan:]
Tomorrow evening, our beloved monarch celebrates her
diamond jubilee. And, with the enthusiastic help of our good friend
Mr Flaversham, it promises to be a night she will never forget.
Her last night, and my first, as supreme ruler of all mousedom!
From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job
That cunning display that made London a sob
Now comes the real tour de force
Tricky and wicked, of course
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I'm at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great criminal brain
[Chorus:]
Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?
You're the best of the worst around
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
The rest fall behind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind
[Ratigan:]
Thank you, Thank you. But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar.
I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate detective,
Basil of Baker Street. For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered
with my plans.
I haven't had a moment's peace of mind. But, all that's in the past!
This time, nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way!
All will bow before me!
[Chorus:]
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're tops and that's that
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
[Bartholomew:]
To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat
[Ratigan:]
What was that? What did you call me?
[Thug 1:]
Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, Professor.
[Thug 2:]
I-it was just a slip of the tongue.
[Ratigan:] I am NOT A RAT!
[Thug 3:]
'Course you're not. You're a mouse!
[Thug 4:]
Yeah, that's right. Right! A mouse.
[Thug 5:] Yeah, a big mouse!
[Ratigan:]
SILENCE! Oh, my dear Bartholomew,
I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me.
You know what happens when someone upsets me.
<bell rings>
[Bartholomew:]
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're the tops and that's that
(Oh dear.)
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
To Ratigan, the world's greatest -
[Felicia:] Meow.
[Ratigan:]
Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby.
Did Daddy's little honey bun enjoy her tasty <unintelligible>?
[Felicia:] Urp.
[Ratigan:]
I trust there will be no further interruptions?
And now, as you were singing?
[Chorus:]
Even louder
We'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do
You're more evil than even you
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're one of a kind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind
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