3 GUYS, A GIRL, AND A ROSE
Chapter Forty-Three

Although he was having fun with his friends and Rose, Tommy could only think of Christina. He couldn't believe that he had even told Fabrizio that he was going to give up on her. She would always be the one he loved. There was no chance of him ever stopping loving her.

Right now they were all at Toys ‘R Us. Tommy wasn't really paying much attention. All he could do was picture Christina, wondering what she was doing. Did he really say he was going to give up on her? It sounded bizarre to him now. No sense at all to him. Was I smoking something when I said that? he asked himself.

"Can someone please explain what we're doing in here?" Jack asked.

"Fabri likes to play with the toys," Tommy answered for him.

"I gotta buy something for my niece, Nikki!" Fabri said.

"Why don't you just wrap Jack up and send him to her? You know she'll love that!" Tommy joked.

"It's so flattering to have a seven-year-old girl have a crush on me!" Jack said sarcastically.

"Well, who couldn't love this gorgeous face?" Rose asked, pinching his cheeks. "Who doesn't have a crush on Jack?" Rose's voice was more serious this time, Jack being the only one not knowing what she was talking about.

"Like that's such a hard question," Tommy said under his breath.

"What was that, Tommy?" Jack asked.

"I said, what a cute toy this is!" he said, holding up a Barbie doll, then putting it back down. "I'm gonna go outside. I need a cigarette." He went outside and lit his cigarette up.

Tommy knew what Rose was talking about, as well as Fabrizio. He couldn't understand why Jack wasn't comprehending. Even more, he couldn't understand why Christina was blind. Blind to see how much Tommy loved her.

"Can I get a pull?" he heard Rose ask him.

"Sure." He handed the cigarette over to her.

"You knew what I was talking about in there. Of course you did. What don't you know about Christina?" Rose took a puff and handed the cigarette back to him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not stupid, Tommy. I've been around you guys long enough. I know that you're in love with her. I know that she's in love with Jack. The only people who don't know that are Jack and Christina."

"Doesn't it bother you to know that she's in love with Jack?"

"Deeply."

"But you have Jack. You've been together for nearly a month. He's madly in love with you."

"I sometimes question that. I know he loves Christina just as much. There's nothing I can do about it. There is something you can do, though. You could quit hiding your feelings from Christina. Tell her how you feel."

"I would. But like you said, she's in love with Jack. Nothing I can do about that." Tommy finished the last of his cigarette and dropped it onto the ground, stepping on it, and went back inside.

*****

Christina, bored out of her mind, continued to serve drinks at the bar. Her head was completely somewhere else. As she poured a drink into a customer's glass, her hand shook and toppled the glass over, causing some of it to spill on the customer.

"Shit!" the customer cursed, standing back from his seat.

"I'm sorry! I'll clean that up for you!" She felt bad. She grabbed some paper towels and wiped the bar down, and got some more to give to the customer.

"Are you all right, Christina?" Mr. Smith asked her.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine to me," he said, touching her forehead. "I think you should go home."

"I have to work, Mr. Smith. I need the money. I have a bill to pay in a week!"

"I'll take care of it for you! You know I'll help you out for anything!"

"I can't let you do that."

"Nonsense. Go home," he commanded, and went to the back of the pub.

Christina bent down, grabbing her bag and jacket, which she kept behind the bar. She saw a bottle of whiskey and in an instant, she came up with an idea. No one was watching her. Christina grabbed the bottle and buried it deep in her bag.

"Bye, Will," she said to another bartender. He nodded his head to her as she left the bar. When she exited the pub, she took one last look at it and left to go home.

*****

It was only 7:30 when Christina came home. Although she had only worked two hours, she was completely tired and restless. The minute she had closed the door to her apartment, she threw her bag onto the couch and stripped her clothing off, until she was wearing nothing but her underwear.

As she entered her bathroom, she sat on the side of the tub and turned the water on, and plugged the stopper into the drain. Waiting for the water to rise up, she stared at herself in the mirror for a moment. Analyzing every aspect of her face, she started to feel ugly. Not only was it with her exterior that she felt ugly, but on the inside she felt like her soul was deteriorating.

Was it because of Jack that she felt this way? Because he didn't want her, but Rose? That's exactly what it was. It always referred back to Jack. Right now, all of her friends were with Rose. It felt as if she didn't matter anymore. She no longer belonged to them. Christina wasn't quite sure what had changed from yesterday to today. She had been perfectly fine. Now it felt like her whole world was caving in. She didn't understand why. She and Jack were building their relationship back to the way it had been before Rose. Tommy and herself spent much time together, as well as with Fabrizio. Why the sudden change?

Christina sat herself on the toilet, with her knees pulled up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees, facing the tub. For a few minutes she rocked herself, until she noticed the tub getting full. Standing up, she turned the faucet off.

Before going all the way into the tub, she dipped her toe in. The water was warm enough and got even better when she put her whole body in. Her head rested on the edge as her legs stretched out. She swirled her fingers around the water and hit it, enjoying the water making ripples.

A few minutes later, she took a huge breath, and dunked her head into the water with her eyes open. Her long hair clouded over her face, only leaving a small opening to see. In her head she was counting how long she could stay underwater. Finally, after counting to twenty, she popped back up again. Feeling relaxed, she stood up from the tub and wrapped her towel around her body, then drained the water from the tub.

Afterwards, she went to her room and looked into the mirror. She dropped the towel to floor and went to her dresser. After throwing all her clothes onto the floor, she found a pair of shorts and short-sleeved shirt to put on. She got dressed slowly and went into her living room.

She placed a CD into the stereo and sat by the window. There she felt the breeze to cool her down from the heat. While trying to think, she could only hear a song that reminded her of the heartbreak.

You called yesterday to basically say
That you care for me but that you're just not in love
Immediately, I pretended to feel similarly
And led you to believe I was okay
To just walk away from the thing
That's unyielding and sacred to me

Well, I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality, I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile, gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry

So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"?
Do you lash out and say: "How dare you leave this way"?
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away?

Well, I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile, gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry.

Before she let her tears fall to the floor, she quickly prevented them from falling down her face. The pain she felt was unbearable. She cursed herself for even playing the song.

In a rage, she got up and ran into her kitchen. Christina was going to put her plan into full effect. She opened up her medicine cabinet and searched for what she was looking for. Grabbing all the bottles of medication, she shoved them out onto the floor. She bent down, throwing bottles of Tylenol, Advil, Motrin, and others over her shoulder. Then she saw her bottle of anti-depressants. They hadn't been used in well over a year.

Happy to have found them, she rushed into her living room. She grabbed her bag off the couch and took the bottle of whiskey out. Looking at the clock, it read 8:50. Opening the bottle of the medication, she poured a handful, then twisted the cap off of the whiskey. She stared down at her hands for a moment and then made her final decision. Christina shoved the pills into her mouth and downed the whiskey. When the bottle was nearly done, she stopped drinking. The bottle slipped from her hands and broke on the floor.

After a minute, her head began to feel cloudy. She placed her hands over head against the migraine that was coming on. Her vision blurred as she stumbled onto the couch. After a few moments, it felt like someone was kicking her stomach. Taking a hand away from her head, she put it on her stomach, as if it could relieve the pain.

Trying to get up, her body was completely limp. Beads of sweat were falling down her face. Christina slipped off the couch and could barely stand up on her own two feet. She fell down to her knees and began to crawl to the door. Grabbing onto the knob, she lifted herself up and unlocked the door. After opening it, she held onto the door so she wouldn't fall.

Christina tried to gasp for air. However, she just couldn't. Without any last thoughts, she collapsed.

*****

Finally, Tommy was on his way home, after dropping Jack and Rose off. It was only a quarter to nine and he was already tired. Luckily, the Belt Parkway wasn't packed with cars. It took him a good fifteen minutes to stop in front of his apartment.

As he unbuckled his seat belt, he paused himself from getting out of the car. Like always, he took a moment to think of Christina. Without hesitation, he reached for his cell phone and punched the speed dial of the pub.

After three rings, someone finally picked up. "Hello. Lucky Sevens. Will speaking," he said.

"Hey, Will. It's Tommy. Can I speak to Christina, please?" he asked.

"I'm sorry. She left two hours ago. Mr. Smith sent her home," Will answered.

"Okay. Thanks." He clicked the phone off, throwing it onto the passenger seat. Without any thought, he made a U-turn and headed for Christina's apartment.

This was it. He just had to tell her how he felt about her. He didn't know where the urge had come from, but he just had to let her know.

It took him twenty minutes to get there. He immediately found parking and ran out of his car and into the building. Someone held the door for him to enter as they were leaving. Instead of waiting for the elevator, he ran up the stairs. After running so fast, he had to catch his breath, and quickly opened the door to her apartment level.

He made a right turn in the hallway and stopped at the sight of his fallen angel. At first, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him, that his mind was messed up from thinking of what had happened three weeks ago. It couldn't possibly be. There she lay, body sprawled on the hallway floor, flat on her face.

Tommy ran to her side. He swept her up in his arms and looked at her pale face. Her clothes stuck to her skin from the sweat. He picked her up and brought her inside the apartment. Gently, he had her lie down on the couch.

"Christina, wake up. Oh, God, wake up," he whispered to her. He stepped back from the couch and heard a crunching noise. Looking down, he saw shards of glass on the floor, followed by an empty pill bottle. "Oh, shit! What did you do?" he muttered under his breath. Tears began to fall down his face. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He turned back to her and picked her up again. Almost out of the apartment, he noticed her bag on the couch. Thinking twice, he grabbed it and ran out of the apartment.

He could only curse, questioning why she would do such a thing. Immediately, he caught the elevator and punched the buttons hard.

"Come on! Hurry up!" he screamed. "Oh, God, Christina. What'd you do?" He looked at her limp body, putting his hand on her face. The tears flowed freely from his eyes. He couldn't believe he'd have to bring her to the hospital again only after three weeks. This time it was a suicide attempt.

*****

The only thing that they could think about was being with each other. Jack and Rose looked into each other's eyes as if nothing else mattered. Their naked bodies were entwined on his bed as they continued to kiss. They didn't want to let go of each other.

"It's really hot. You sure we should be this close to each other?" Jack asked her. Rose gave him a funny look. "Stupid question," he said, and tilted his head to kiss her. Jack heard her moan and pulled away, smiling at her. "I love it when you do that."

"It seems as if that's all I've been doing this week!" She gave him a devilish grin. "No wonder you love me so much."

"Well, I love everything about you."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Most definitely."

"Let's quit the chatter and just enjoy ourselves," Rose said to him.

Jack did as she said and kissed her mouth. Her hands ran through his hair as she enjoyed every minute of his shower of kisses. His hands moved to her private places and the only voice he heard was her moans. Just as he was about to enter her, the phone rang. Jack got off of her and looked over at his caller ID.

"Do you really have to get that?" Rose asked.

"It's Fabri. It could be something important." Rose grunted.

"Hey, Fabri! It's 10:15. What can you possibly be calling me for?" Jack asked when he picked the phone up. "Fuck, no!" Jack sat straight up in his bed.

Artist: Mariah Carey
Song: Breakdown

Chapter Forty-Four
Stories