A CALIFORNIA ROSE
Chapter Seventeen
Thursday, April 24, 2003
Rose trudged wearily up the steps to the
library. Glancing over at the railing, she remembered the night she had tried
to jump.
Maybe she should have jumped, Rose reflected,
looking down at the now-completed patio far below. None of the events of the
past week would have happened if she had.
Shaking her head, she turned away and went
inside. She didn’t really want to kill herself, she realized. She just wanted
things to be different than they were.
Hefting her backpack onto one of the study
tables, she rummaged through it, looking for her calculus textbook. She had a
midterm in the afternoon, and she needed to study.
Rose had just opened the book when someone
tapped her on the shoulder. Looking up, she saw Jack.
Surprised, she closed the book. “Jack...what
are you doing here?”
“I came to make sure you were okay.”
“What?” Had everyone heard about her ‘fall
down the stairs’?
“You usually return my e-mail, and my phone
calls, right away. I hadn’t heard from you since Saturday, so I came by to see
if you were okay. Your roommates said you went to the library to study, so I
came to see if you were here.”
Several students were looking at them
disapprovingly; their voices were too loud for the study area.
“Jack, this is impossible. I can’t see you.”
She stuffed her book in her backpack and started to walk away.
Jack followed after her, confused. “Rose,
what’s going on?”
She glanced around, then slipped between two
bookcases loaded with magazines and newspapers.
“I just thought it best if we didn’t see each
other any more. Someone might get the wrong impression, and I’m getting married
in two months.”
“We’re just friends.”
“I know, but some people might think
otherwise.”
Jack began to understand what was going on.
He looked at the healing cut on her face. “Did he hit you?”
“No!” Rose answered quickly--too quickly.
Jack looked at her skeptically.
“Rose, you’re no picnic...you’re a spoiled
little brat even, but under that you’re a strong, pure heart, and you’re the
most amazing, astounding girl I’ve ever known, and--”
Rose tried to interrupt him. “Jack, I--”
“Wait. Let me try to get this out. I have
nothing to offer you, Rose. I know that. But I’m involved now. I can’t turn
away without knowing you’re going to be okay.”
Rose’s hands clenched the straps of her
backpack. “Jack, I’m marrying Cal. I love Cal.” She looked up at him. “I’ll be
fine. Really.”
“Will you? I don’t think so, Rose. They’ve
got you trapped, and you’re going to die if you don’t break free. Maybe not
right away, because you’re strong, but sooner or later that fire I love about
you Rose, that fire’s gonna burn out.”
“It’s not up to you to save me, Jack.”
He looked at her. “I know. Only you can do
that.” He paused. “Rose, if you ever need to get away from him, if things don’t
work out, you can always come to me. My home is open to you.”
Rose wanted to throw herself into his arms,
to walk away with him and never look back, but she couldn’t. Instead, she
picked up her backpack and put it on, avoiding his gaze. “Jack, I’m leaving
now. Please leave me alone.”
She hurried away, not waiting to see what his
reaction would be. If there was to be any hope of her marriage to Cal working
out, she had to avoid Jack.
She didn’t have any choice.