A LIFE SO CHANGED
Chapter Eight

In the dining room, Rose is seated, flanked by her group in a religious conversation. They are laughing. Rose is staring at her plate, barely listening to the religious babble around her.

Rose: "I saw my whole life as if I'd already lived it...the endless preaching, youth activities, and soul winning. I felt like I was standing, and just wanting to scream, and with no one to pull me back, no one who cared...or even noticed."

Rose turned to Ruth, who was next to her. "I’m not feeling well. Can I be excused?"

Ruth looked at her and saw Rose's statement of depression coming on. "Yes."

Rose got up quickly, and kissed her mother on the cheek, and said good night. She went over to Cal to tell him good night.

"What? You’re tired already?" he asked, with his arm around her shoulders.

"Yes. Good night, Dad," she said with a smile, and a kiss on his cheek.

"Do you want me to escort you to your room?"

"No, I just want to go alone. All right?"

"Okay, Sweetpea."

Rose turns around to leave. As she did, she ground her teeth whenever she heard that name. She walks along the corridor. A couple of kids from her group, coming the other way, greet her, and she nods with a slight smile. She is perfectly composed.

She enters her room. She is alone, and she's very grateful that she’s alone right now. She didn’t want anybody around right now.

Standing in the middle of the room, she is staring at her reflection in the large vanity mirror. She is seeing her dress, her favorite. A red and black beaded gown, and sequined, too, all over her neckline, shoulders, chest, and on the ends of her dress. The V on backwards on the waistline is covered with black sequins.

The most she was staring at was her black laced undergarments. All the girls had to wear them whenever their dress is low-cut. She took down her hair, and she ripped her undergarment off, now showing her cleavage.

Suddenly, she flings everything off the dresser, hers and Lea’s. It flies clattering against the wall. Why? she thought. Why do I have to be this way, why? Then she ran out of the room.

Rose runs along the B promenade. She is disheveled, her hair flying. She is crying, her cheeks streaked with tears. But she is also angry, furious. Shaking with emotions, she doesn’t understand...hatred, self-hatred, and desperation.

A couple of teenagers in her group, who she saw before she went to her room, saw her, and started to come to her and ask her what’s wrong. Rose rudely bumps into them, not caring what they thought, when they saw her. They were shocked at the emotional display in public.

Rose comes down, opening the gate, and running towards the stairs, but stops to catch her breath. She looks up at the stairs, then looks over her shoulders to see where she stood that afternoon, for she knew she was heading towards the end of the boat, towards the end to her life.

*****

Jack is kicked back on one of the benches gazing at the stars blazing gloriously overhead, thinking artist thoughts and smoking a cigarette. He hears something, running feet and sobbing. Rose runs past him. She did not see him. Jack sees her. She runs across the deserted fantail. Her breath hitches in an occasional sob, which she suppresses.

Rose slams against the turn wheel, panting. She looks up to see that she is at the end of the ship. She walks up to the rail. As she did, she turned to see if anybody saw her. Nobody. She’s at the rail, and she stares down at the black water.

Go on. Jump! her conscience said. Jump! Nobody will care if you die; you are better off dead than to suffer this religious world of theirs.

She starts to climb over the railing. She has to hitch her long dress way up, and climbing is clumsy. Moving methodically, she turns her body and gets her heels on the white-painted gunwale. She took one last look at the ship, and the family, she’s going to leave behind, and making sure no one was there to stop her. Her back to the railing, facing out toward blackness below her, the massive propellers are churning the Atlantic into white foam, and a ghostly wake trails off toward the horizon.

In a low angle, Rose is standing like a figurehead in reverse. Below her are the huge letters of the name Titanic. She leans out, her arms straightening...looking down, hypnotized, into the vortex below her. Her dress and hair are lifted by the wind of the ship’s movement. The only sound above the rush of water below is the flutter and the snap of the big Union Jack. Jack is right above her.

"Don’t do it."

Rose whips her head around at the sound of his voice. It took her a second for her eyes to focus.

"Stay back! Don’t come any closer!"

Rose doesn’t know that he’s the one who stared at her. Jack sees the tear tracks on her cheeks in the faint glow from the stern running lights.

"Come on, give me your hand. I’ll pull you back over." He was talking to her, as if he knew her.

"NO! Stay where you are! I mean it! I’ll let go!"

She turns her head over to the water, and then turned to Jack. Jack was throwing his cigarette over the ship into the water, and stayed a few feet away from her.

"No, you won’t."

"What do you mean, no, I won’t? Don’t tell me what I will and will not do. You don’t know me!"

"Well, you would have done it already."

"You’re distracting me. Go away!"

"I can’t. I’m involved now. If you let go, I’m going to have to jump in after you." He takes off his coat.

What? This guy is stupid! she thought.

"Don’t be stupid. You’ll be killed."

"I’m a good swimmer." He unlaced his left shoe.

"The fall alone would kill you."

"It would hurt. I’m not saying it wouldn’t. To tell you the truth, I’m a lot more concerned about the water being so cold." He took off his shoe, and started on his right.

Rose looks down at the black water. The reality factor of what she is doing is sinking in. She has not thought about that. She looks up, and turns to Jack, trying to make a straight face.

"How cold?"

"Freezing. Maybe a couple degrees over." Taking off his other shoe, Jack stares at her, until Rose looked the other way.

"You...ah...ever been to Wisconsin?"

Rose turns to face him. "What?" she asked, perplexed.

"Well, they have some of the coldest winters around, and I grew up there, near Chippewa Falls. I remember, when I was a kid, me and my father went ice fishing out on Lake Wissota...ice fishing’s where you--"

"I know what ice fishing is!" she snapped, with a loud sigh.

"Sorry. You just seem like kind of an indoor girl. Anyway, I fell through thin ice, and I’m telling you, water that cold...like that right down there..."

Jack looks down at the black water. So does Rose.

"...it hits you like a thousand knives stabbing all over your body. You can’t breathe, you can’t think..." Rose looks at him and gives a soft sigh. "Least not about anything but the pain. Which is why I’m not looking forward to jumping in after you. But like I said..." He takes off his vest. "I don’t have a choice. I guess I’m kind of hoping you’ll come back over the rail and get me off the hook here."

Jack stares at her, and Rose stares back. I can’t believe him! He’s really crazy!

"You’re crazy!" she said accusatorily at Jack, and then she turns to lean over the water.

"That’s what everybody says. But with all due respect, Miss, I’m not the one hanging off the back of a ship here."

He slides one step closer, like moving up on a spooked horse.

"Come on. Give me your hand. You don’t want to do this."

He offers his hand to her. She looks at it, and then stares at the water, thinking about what Jack said about her hanging off the back of a ship. I am crazy. She unfastens one hand from the rail and reaches it around toward him. He reaches out to take it, firmly. She turns around to face him. They were very close, as in nose to nose.

"Whew!" He shakes her hand. "I’m Jack Dawson."

Rose stares at him. He’s so cute. She finds her voice behind her trembling body, with fear. "Rose Black."

"You’re even more beautiful up close," he said, with a smile.

Rose laughs weakly. She now remembers where she saw him. Oh, God. He’s the guy who was staring at me.

"Come on."

Jack helped her to climb over, but when she put her right foot on the lowest rail, she lost her footing, and slips off the edge of the deck. She plunges, letting out a piercing scream. She managed to grab a hold of the lowest rail by her other hand.

Jack, gripping her hand, is jerked toward the rail. "Come on! Pull yourself up!" Rose tries to pull up with all her might. She got close enough to get her knee on the rail, but missed. She let go of her hand that was on the rail.

"HELP! HELP ME!" I’m going die! He can’t hold me!

The teens that Rose bumped into heard her cries, and headed toward her direction.

"Please help me!" Rose tries to get her hand on his arm.

"Listen. Listen to me. I've got you. I won’t let go. Now pull yourself up."

Rose looks at him, and put all her trust on him.

"Come on. Come on. That’s right. You can do it."

Jack holds her hand with all his strength. He finally got her, and holds her like he’s hugging her, only worse. Her arms are tightly around his neck. Jack lifts her over the rail, but didn’t mean to put his hand on her butt. Rose did not notice or care.

"I got you." As he got her over the rail, but they fell down together onto the deck and Jack was on top of her.

Rose was still trembling when Jack slowly backed up to see her face. There were tears coming down her face. Jack cupped his hand on her cheek, and wipes her tears away. Rose stares at him. She felt so safe with him, and falling in love with him, too.

The teens finally came to see that Jack was on top of her. When Jack saw them, he removed himself from her.

"What’s all this?" asked Lewis Parker, one of the teens.

They see Rose crying and shaking. They saw that her dress is torn, and the hem is pushed up above her knees, showing one ripped stocking. They looked at Jack. His shoes and coat are lying beside him.

"You stand back and don’t move an inch!" said Lewis. He turns to the other teens. "Go get Brother Black."

The two boys, Robby Stone and Joe Rogers, went to fetch him. Lewis went over to Rose and gave her his hand. Rose protested angrily. Lewis got a girl from the group to help her, Krissy Rollins. Rose let her get her up, and as she got on her feet, she looks at Jack and mouthed, "I’m sorry," to him. Jack just smiled.

*****

Robby and Joe went into the dining room, and Cal was talking to Pastor Walker and Parrish. Ruth was talking to Molly and Rob Bates.

"Mr. Black. Come quickly!" said Robby.

"Why? What’s wrong?"

"A guy just took advantage of Rose. At the back of the ship."

Ruth heard this, and came over. "What about Rose?"

Cal calmly turned to his wife. "It’s all right. I’ll take care of it."

Cal turns back to the boys. "Let’s go. We’ll get the Master-at-Arms, too."

Pastor Walker and Parrish follow them.

*****

A few minutes later, Jack is being handcuffed. Cal is right in front of him, and furious, too. Krissy, who helped Rose, is trying to comfort her on the bench. When she saw Cal after the boys got him, she started to cry again.

Cal grabbed a hold of Jack's shirt and shook him. "What makes you think you can put your hands on my daughter?" Jack looks at Rose. "Don’t look at her! Look at me!"

"Dad!"

Cal ignored her. "What did you think you were doing?"

"Dad!" Rose got up, and pushes Cal away, shielding Jack. "Dad. Stop it! It was an accident."

"An accident?" asked Cal.

Uh-oh. Think quickly, Rose.

Rose stepped back, and she was in the middle of Cal and Jack.

"It was. Stupid, really. I was leaning over and I slipped." Good one, Rose.

Jack looked at her like, Huh? What she is saying?

"I was leaning far over to see the...ah...ah...ah..." She looks at Jack, and Jack gave her a yeah...and? look.

Rose gave Cal a look, like you know what comes after. "The propellers?" asked Cal finally.

"The propellers. Yes, and I slipped. You know how I slip, and I would have gone overboard..." She looks at Jack. "But this man saved me, and he almost went over himself."

Jack now finally gets where she's at. She is lying to her father about what happened.

"She wanted to see the propellers," said Cal to the others.

"Women and machinery do not mix," said Pastor Walker, shaking his head.

"Was that the way of it?" asked the Master-at-Arms to Jack.

Jack looks at Rose. She is begging him with her eyes not to tell what really happened.

"Yeah. Yeah. That was pretty much it."

Jack looks at Rose a moment longer. Now they have a secret together.

"Well! The boy’s a hero, then," said Pastor Walker.

Jack is uncuffed.

"You must be freezing. Let’s get you inside," said Cal to Rose, rubbing her arms.

Rose looks at Jack. She does not want to go. She felt safe with him, not her father. Cal is leaving with her without a second thought for Jack.

"Ah...perhaps a little something for the boy?" asked Pastor Walker.

Cal stops, and looks at Jack. Rose is waiting for his answer.

"Oh, yes. I think a hundred should do it." Cal reaches for his checkbook. Rose stopped him.

"Is that the going rate for saving your daughter, whom you almost lost?"

"Rose is displeased. Mmm...what to do?" Cal turns back to Jack. He appraises him condescendingly. "I know."

Cal walks over to Jack. "Perhaps you could join us for dinner tomorrow night, since you saved my daughter’s life?"

Rose hoped that Jack would know enough to refuse, and yet, another part of her was praying that he would say yes. Why? She had only known him for all of ten minutes, for the better part of which he had annoyed her beyond belief.

"Sure. Count me in." He looked straight at Rose.

"Good. Settled then."

Cal turns to go. He leans close to Pastor Walker. "I don’t believe one word she said."

Pastor Walker turns and looks at him, and said nothing.

They went toward Rose, and she looks at Jack, and gave him a smile, before Cal turned her around to leave with the others.

Jack whistled to Parrish, and Parrish came to him.

"Can I bum a smoke?"

"I don’t smoke. You shouldn't either." Parrish looks down at Jack’s unlaced shoes. "You’ll want to tie those. Interesting that the young lady slipped so suddenly and you still had time to take off your jacket and your shoes."

Parrish’s statement shows Jack that he didn’t believe the story either. He turns away to join the others.

*****

Rose is seated in the sitting room waiting for Cal. He wanted to talk to her before she went to bed. All the teens were in bed. Rose looks down at her dress, ripped down at end. How did I rip it? Then she knew. It got caught under her foot, after she lost her footing.

"I know you've been melancholy. I don’t have to pretend to know why," said Cal.

Rose jumped, and saw Cal standing in the doorway, reflected in the mirror of the vanity on top of the fireplace in front of her. He comes toward her, and from behind his back, he shows Rose a large black velvet jewel case.

"I intended to mail this to your sister, Renee, after we got home, but I thought I wanted Rose to see it first."

Cal slowly opens the box. Inside is the necklace. "The Heart of the Ocean" in all its glory. It is huge. A malevolent blue stone glittering with an infinity of scalpel-like inner reflections.

"Oh, my word!"

"Isn’t it beautiful?"

"Is it a--"

"Diamond? Yes. Fifty-six carats to be exact."

"Can I try it on?"

"Yes."

He takes the necklace out of the box and placed it around her neck. She gets up, and walks up to the mirror. He follows her, and staring, stands beside her.

"It was once worn by Louis the Sixteenth. They call it Le Coeur de la Mer, the--"

"The Heart of the Ocean. I read it inside the box."

Cal gazes at the image of two of them in the mirror.

"Do you think Renee will like it?"

"Yes...I love it." She looked at him.

"Good...now tell me what really happened."

She stares at the mirror, and her hand covers up the necklace. She knew now that Cal did not believe her.

Chapter Nine
Stories