CHANGES
Chapter Thirty
Over the next week, Jack continued to live in
despair, smoking himself to an early grave. Not that it mattered. His soulmate
and daughter were gone, and he highly doubted he'd ever see them again. His
mother had called a few days earlier, relieved she had finally gotten through
to him. She had told him that Rose and Amanda were staying with the
DeWitt-Bukaters and urged him to come out there and try to work things out.
Though the idea appealed to him considerably, Jack knew in the end it would
only cause him more pain. Not only would Rose not forgive him, he'd end up
losing them all over again. So against his mother's wishes, he declined and
continued to wallow in self-pity, not leaving the dark apartment unless
absolutely necessary.
December 2
Jack stood among the chaotic mess he had
created in the kitchen the night before, his face clouded with two weeks' worth
of growth, staring intently at the calendar. Circled in a red marker was the
current date and labeled with the words three years, three months. Those few
simple words had driven him into a frenzy the previous night. As he had
surprisingly reached three weeks alone, the reminder of what would've been an
anniversary pushed him over the edge. The room was evidence of his loosened
grip on reality. The table was turned over, two of the legs broken off, chairs
strewn about and bits and pieces of broken plates and glasses littered the
floor. And in the center of the mess he had found the one item that nearly
caused him to take the knife, now lodged in the wall, and slit his wrists.
Hidden in a random cupboard, he'd come across Rose's engagement ring. He'd put
it there after she had left, so he wouldn't have to stare at the constant
reminder. But now, with tears in his eyes, Jack took the shiny object and slid
down to the floor, every emotion that had run through him in the past three
weeks coming forth. This ring, this tiny simple thing held everything he and
Rose had once stood for. The love, the promises, the life they'd built...the
hurt, the lies, the deception. Sighing in frustration, Jack in a momentary
lapse of sanity, flung the ring across the room and watched as a piece broke
off. Broken.
"Just like me," he murmured aloud.
"Just like me."
*****
"How are you doing?" Ashley asked
as she and Rose sat down in a homey diner in downtown Minneapolis.
Biting her lower lip, Rose shrugged.
"I'm okay, I guess."
Sensing her friends reluctance to talk about
it, Ashley promptly changed the subject. "I talked to Lauren yesterday.
She's trying to get everyone to come out to Los Angeles for a reunion."
"That sounds nice." Rose feigned
interest. "How's she doing?"
"Pretty good. She's working on a TV
series now. You know that one on HBO? Simply Seductive, I think its
called."
Rose had to shake her head at that. "Our
very own porn star."
Ashley giggled, happy to hear Rose joking
around again. "I know. Who would've thought? Then again, if I had grown up
the only child of a minister, I'd probably go buck wild in college, too...hey,
remember that one time you and--"
"Is it wrong that I still love
him?" Rose suddenly interrupted.
Stopping her tirade, Ashley stared at the
woman sitting across from her. "Oh, sweetie, no, it's not wrong. You were
together for three years. You have a child together. You're not going to just
stop loving him."
Rose chewed on her bottom lip, contemplation
written across her face. She was silent for a moment before meeting Ashley's
gaze. "I'm pregnant," she whispered, while tears filled her eyes.
Ashley's eyes went wide and she paled
slightly. "Are you sure?"
"The doctor confirmed it this morning.
Eight weeks to the day."
"Shit," Ashley breathed.
"What am I going to do, Ash? I can't
have a baby now. Especially not now. I can't even put a roof over Mandy and my
heads, let alone another child," Rose cried, the salty tears flowing from
her eyes.
Ashley quickly got up and slid next to her
best friend, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Shh. It's okay. You're
gonna be okay. You can stay with your parents until you can get out on your
own. They'd probably buy you a place if you asked. Everything will be
okay."
Rose shook her head, wiping her eyes with the
back of her hand. "I'm almost twenty-one years old, Ash. I don't want to
depend on my parents for everything."
"Then you'll get a job. You've got a
year and a half in at Harvard. You're more qualified than a lot of people. You
can stay with us, or if worse comes to worse, you can always go to your place
in Duluth."
"No," Rose said. "I can't go
there. There's too many memories." She paused. Her heartache shone clearly
in her once brilliant and vibrant eyes. "God, Ash, it wasn't supposed to
be like this. We were supposed to finish college, get married, have a family.
We were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives. But now look at me.
I'm a single mother." Rose stopped, glancing down at her stomach.
"With two children, that had to run back to Mommy and Daddy for help. God,
I'm so pathetic."
"You're not pathetic, Rose. You're just
going through a rough time. Your parents would do anything for you. There's no
shame in asking them for help right now," Ashley said soothingly.
Rose sighed. "I should've listened to
you that first day when you told me he was playboy and that he'd hurt me. I
should've known. I'm such a fucking moron! How could I have expected things to
be perfect when I ended up with my mortal enemy, right? We weren't meant to be
together. We were meant to hate each other. It was just stupid, plain and
simple, to try and change that."
Sighing, Ashley gave her a sad smile.
"It wasn't stupid, Rose, because you did change that. You two were one of
the most in-love couples I've ever seen. Two children should be proof enough of
that, shouldn't it?" She paused, her face falling a bit at Rose's noncommittal
shrug. "Listen, Rose. Jack fucked up. He did the unforgivable and we all
completely understand you not ever wanting to see him again, but I know you. I
know that beneath all the hurt and anger, you love him, regardless. Something
like this isn't going to just disappear overnight and yeah, it's going to be
hard for awhile. But you're strong. You've got this inner fire and you will
survive, because I know you won't let anyone, even if it's Jack, keep you from
living out your dreams, your life. Just give it time. It heals all wounds,
remember."
Rose listened attentively to her speech.
Every word made sense and she knew she was right. She would survive. Without
Jack.
*****
"Really, Jack, you missed Thanksgiving.
Please come home for Christmas," Elaine pleaded to her son.
Jack sighed and switched the phone to his
other ear. "I can't, Mom. I can't see Rose."
"She's not even going to be here, Jack.
Your father and Joe decided it would be best to spend this year apart. They'll
all be going up the cabin. Please, Jack. We're going to have Mandy for the
three days before Christmas, and I know she'd love to see her father. I
wouldn't mind seeing him either, you know," Elaine said matter-of-factly.
Upon hearing that there was a chance to see
his daughter, Jack was almost too quick to agree. "What day are they
leaving?"
Grinning, Elaine replied happily,
"They're leaving on the twentieth. David is going to take Mandy up there
on the twenty-fourth so she has Christmas Day with Rose."
"Okay, I'll come in on the twentieth
then, and leave before they come back," Jack decided. Glancing down at the
cigarette in his hand in distaste, he quickly snuffed it out. He didn't want to
be such a mess when he saw Amanda.
Elaine yelped in joy. "Oh, I'm so glad
to hear that! Well, I'll let you get everything arranged now. Give us a call
when things are set."
"All right. Love you, Mom."
"I love you, too, sweetie. Bye."
"Bye," Jack hung up. He was going
home.