Written by Simply Cute Bambi
Based on some situations originated by James Cameron.
I could hear the beeping of
something like a heart monitor somewhere close. My mind was a cloudy haze that
wouldn’t clear up. I was slowly coming around. Back to earth…back from the
black, endless pit I had been thrust into…back to consciousness…
My eyes fluttered open and I
squinted against the sudden light. My head felt like it was being lit on fire,
trampled by a bull and subjected to hundreds of pairs of hands running their
nails down a chalkboard. I noticed tubes crisscrossing all around my torso and
arms and felt the burn of the needles in my skin.
I looked at the needles,
confused, as I scrunched my eyebrows, trying to remember where I was. The last
thing I remembered was a flash of light. I looked around me and noticed that I
was in a hospital room.
"What the…?" I muttered
as I tried to get out of bed. Just the movement alone caused me to wince, and
then, as I tried to swing my legs off the bed, I crumpled to the floor.
I gripped my leg in anticipation
as I waited for any kind of pain to come. It never did. It was like I couldn’t
feel my legs. I was totally numb. I immediately panicked as I leaned my head
against the bed.
I closed my eyes and messaged my
temples as I tried to remember what happened. All I could remember was a bright
light and then the rest was unknown.
Suddenly, I could hear her voice,
almost as if she were right beside me.
Why can’t you be happy for me?
I opened my eyes and I could
almost see her tears running slowly down her beautiful face. Her eyes focused
on the road and yet filled with all the pain and hurt in the world. I racked my
brain, searching for some answer as to why I had made her cry.
My eyes narrowed into slits as I
remembered him. Ugh…just the thought of him made me want to puke. I hated the
way he looked at her--like she was some possession he owned. Like a piece of
meat that had no value…a trophy.
As everything came back slowly,
bit by bit, the door slowly opened.
She couldn’t be dead, could she?
No, she couldn’t. No. No. No. It’s my entire fault.
No.
I could hear the heart monitor
beside me go into a frenzy as my heart raced fast and my pulse quickened. My
breathing became shallow as I struggled to regain my breath.
"Easy now," I heard an
older, compassionate voice say. I looked up and saw an old man with silver hair
holding my arm while injecting something into my tube as I was put back on the
bed.
A minute later I was calm enough.
"What happened to
Rose?" I asked, gasping as my chest hurt.
"I’m afraid your friend is
in critical condition. She suffered a concussion along with several other major
injuries and she broke a few bones and fractured others," he said sadly.
"You, on other hand, are lucky. However, you will never regain the feeling
in your legs."
My face was an emotionless mask.
But instead of feeling numb, I felt a swirling vortex of anger, rage, misery,
frustration, sadness, and guilt.
My mask cracked slightly as I
found my eyes starting to brim with tears as I tried to imagine Rose all
bandaged up and suffering. I shook my head, trying to force the tears away as
they came back with double the force.
How could I have done that to
her?
"Is she going to be
okay?" I asked quietly, afraid of the answer.
"Well…to tell the truth, I
hoped she would, but considering her other injuries, I’m afraid not," he
said sadly as he shook his head.
I allowed the tears to fall
freely now. I was going to lose her and there was nothing I could do… nothing
at all.
"You can either keep her on
life support or let her die in peace," he said as he shook his head sadly.
He walked out, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I couldn’t be responsible for
ending her life like that. I had no right to.
If only I had kept my mouth shut.
If only. If I could switch places with her, I would in a heartbeat. The remorse
was slowly eating me up. I shouldn’t have said anything about him. I shouldn’t
have objected. I would give anything to have her in my arms, even if it was just
for a moment. One more moment to be with her. I raised my hand up slowly and
hit my head over and over, cursing myself for how stupid I was.
That doesn't matter now. It's
in the past. My lips
twisted bitterly as the unrelated memory flashed through my brain. The sadness
overwhelmed me. I knew no matter how much I prayed and prayed, what was done
was done.
I closed my eyes again, willing
myself not to think of her. Her warm cerulean blue eyes. Her soft but fiery red
hair. Suddenly, a thought struck me.
I reached out for my buzzer as I
opened my eyes. The doctor I spoke with earlier came shortly after I buzzed
him.
"I need to know," I
said as I fiddled with my hands, "if there’s any way I can save her."
"I don’t know."
"Please," I begged, the
tears starting to come again. "Please."
"Well, normally I wouldn’t
consider this," he said, sighing. "But since you want to help so
much…it would help her enormously if she had a heart donor," he said as he
took off his glasses and looked at me directly.
"I’ll do it," I said
quietly.
"Are you sure? I mean, the
risk and everything…" He trailed off as he put his glasses back on.
"I’m sure," I said,
more strongly this time.
"Very well, then," he
said as he turned to leave.
"Wait." He turned to
look at me. "Could I see her before I…before…" I said, swallowing
again.
He nodded. A moment later, a
nurse came and wheeled me to Rose’s room. My heart immediately broke at the
sight of her. She was covered in bandages, her chest rising and falling evenly,
her heart monitor steady.
The nurse wheeled me close to her
and then she left and shut the door behind her.
I gently reached for her hand and
stroked it softly.
"I’m sorry," I said,
the tears spilling. "...for everything," I said, fighting my emotions.
She hadn’t moved a muscle. I
tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. I slowly got up and managed to
haul myself onto her bed. I lifted her up gently and held her close for
one…last…moment, smelling her strawberry hair…one more time.
"Hold on to me, love,"
I said as I stroked her hair gently. "You know I can’t stay long," I
said as the tears came more freely. "All I wanted to say was…" I said
weakly as I took a deep, shaky breath. "I love you and I’m not afraid,"
I said as I pulled back to look at her, memories engulfing me. I pressed my
lips to her forehead slowly, gently, and then pulled away.
The End.