HERE AND NOW
Chapter Eleven

They were sinking fast. The bow of the ship was already completely submerged, and the water continued to creep upwards. Only two lifeboats remained. People were pushing, screaming. The officer fired warning shots until he was out of bullets, but it wasn’t doing any good now.

Chaos had broken out among those still trapped on the vessel. Some had given up waiting for a lifeboat and were jumping overboard. Some threw stolen furniture over the side, which they obviously were planning on using as a liferaft. Others began making their way towards the stern, desperate to be as far away from the water as possible. It was pandemonium.

Still trying their chance at getting in one of the two remaining boats, Rose continued to wait with the others. As one of the two boats was about to be lowered, Rose saw Bruce Ismay leap in at the last minute. Until that point, he had been helping the crew to load. Rose scowled at the man being allowed to jump the queue like that. The officer lowering gave Ismay a look of disapproval, but said nothing other than the command to, "Take them down."

"We’re not gonna get in a boat!" Rose realized as she watched the last remaining lifeboat become half-full already.

"Well, now what? We jump overboard?"

"No. We need to stay on here as long as possible. That water’s freezing. None of us should stay any longer than we have to…" Rose explained.

"Rose, are you…" Mandy guessed.

"We’re going to go down with the ship," Rose confirmed. At the horrified looks on the others’ faces, she continued. "The longer we stay in that water, the quicker we’ll freeze. But if we stay dry for as long as we can, we might have a chance of lasting until a lifeboat sees us and picks us up. It’s all we can do."

"Oh, shit…we’re gonna die…" Jack looked panic-stricken and like he was close to going into some kind of catatonic state.

"It’s possible," Rose said bluntly. "This is a sinking ship. But I think we have a chance. We need to go to the stern and hang onto the rails tight. When the ship is near to hitting the water, we’ll take as deep a breath as we can. So we don’t lose each other, I’ll hold Jack’s hand, and Mandy, you hold Parker’s. When we go under, kick until we get to the surface."

"You’re serious…" Mandy couldn’t believe it. Jack, Parker, and Mandy looked at Rose like she was totally off her head.

"It’s the only way we’ll have a chance. You can all stay here and try to get into the one remaining lifeboat that’s nearly full, if you like, but I’m not wasting anymore time. I’m going to the stern now."

Rose began to walk off. Jack and the girls looked at each other, stunned, then followed Rose without anymore protests. Like she had said, this was their only chance now.

*****

The sinking was quick once things really got going. Windows popped out from the pressure of the water and the giant smokestacks broke and fell, crushing people who had the misfortune to be near enough. Water submerged the ship at an incredible speed. People screamed and tore towards the stern, joining those who were already there.

Rose watched the scene of destruction with petrified disbelief as she clung to the railing of the stern. She’d had to actually climb over so that she was actually hanging off the ship. Jack, Parker, and Mandy had all copied her, as had a few others, but most people were hanging off railings on the ship, and from the way the vessel was rising up and up, people were losing their grips and falling into the water below, some hitting objects on the way down.

At one point, the entire stern was sticking up in the air, totally straight and just balancing there. Then the bow snapped off, and the stern plunged forward so fast that it felt like a theme park ride. People screamed even louder. Then the stern rose again before beginning its final descent, which seemed to take an eternity.

Then the water began to rise up. Closer…closer…

This was it.

"Deep breaths, now!" Rose yelled.

Everyone complied. Right before they hit the water, Rose locked eyes with Jack. He looked back and gripped her hand even tighter.

Rose had known that the water was going to be cold, but absolutely nothing on earth could have prepared her for what she felt when her entire body became engulfed by the sea as the mighty ship finally disappeared under the surface of the ocean.

Had she not been underwater and holding her breath, she would have screamed at the shock. But all she could do was fight to regain control of her mind, and she frantically kicked, heading for the surface. It was so dark she could barely see anything, and the saltwater stung her eyes horribly. She tried to see Jack, realizing she’d lost her grip on his hand.

Kick. Just kick, dammit! she told herself.

Just when Rose thought she was going to drown, she felt herself break through the surface. She gasped desperately and inhaled several breaths of air. Then she scanned for Jack…she couldn’t see him. The sea was littered with hundreds of people, some alive and screaming, many dead, just floating lifelessly on the water.

"Jack! Jack!" Rose shouted, not realizing that she likely couldn’t be heard over the din of all the other desperate cries. "Jack! Mandy!"

"Rose!"

Jack. She looked around widely and then saw him swimming towards her.

"There’s a lifeboat nearby, over there!" Jack told her "They’re pulling people out of the water. We’ve gotta swim to it."

"But Mandy…Parker…" Rose gasped out the words. She could hardly talk. She’d never felt so cold in her life. It was as though a thousand knives were stabbing her all over her body. She felt so numb, she knew she wouldn’t be able to swim even the short distance that was required. Her teeth were chattering and she felt so much like closing her eyes…she’d never been so cold or tired…

"Rose? Rose, keep your eyes open…you’ve gotta stay with me…" Jack ordered, though his own voice also sounded thin. Rose didn’t know if that was because of her, or because Jack was feeling the effects of the ice cold water, too. "Come on, Rose. We need to get to that boat…"

Jack gripped her hand tightly again and began to drag her off as he started to swim. Although her vision was becoming blurred, she could just about make out the lifeboat, thanks to a green flare that was being waved about and a whistle that was being blown. Shouts of, "Is anyone alive out there?" rang across the sea, which had now grown strangely quiet. She had sure there had been hundreds of cries just moments ago…could it be that she had fallen asleep before Jack had found her? Was that why she felt as bad as she did?

Rose felt her head pound. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t feel her body. It was almost too much of an effort to let Jack drag her behind him as he swam, but she had to keep trying.

"Just…a…bit…further…" Jack urged. Rose was amazed that he could keep going himself. Who knew how long they’d been in the water now? They were both soaked and freezing, and Rose knew she couldn’t last.

Before she could stop herself, she closed her eyes and quickly descended into the depths of unconsciousness.

*****

"Rose? Rose!" Jack shouted in alarm when he realized that Rose had passed out, but it was no use. She wasn’t waking up.

Before, the goal of saving Rose had been keeping him going. After the ship had gone down and he’d found himself in the water, Jack had been separated from Rose and had had to search around quite a bit before he found her again. He’d also searched frantically for Parker and even Rose’s friend Mandy, but had been forced to admit defeat as he had failed to find either of them.

When he’d first located Rose, she’d been out then, too, but he’d managed to bring her around and had dragged her off with him in the direction of the lifeboat. He felt numb and freezing and was unsure how he was even staying conscious himself, but somehow the goal of reaching that one lone lifeboat was enough to keep him going despite everything.

"Is anyone alive out there?" The officer in the lifeboat bellowed the same question over and over.

Jack had tried to yell back, but he couldn’t shout. He could hardly even speak anymore, he was so cold. The temperature of the ocean water was unlike anything he’d ever known, and he couldn’t believe that he was managing to stay alive at all.

And then, before Jack realized it, he was tapping on the side of the lifeboat with a hand he had freed from dragging Rose, trying to get the people in it to notice him.

"H-help…" he breathed.

"Survivors!" shouted the officer. "Pull them on board! Everybody make room!"

Jack wasn’t really aware of much else after that. He felt himself shifting Rose and her body being hauled from his arms and into the boat. Then he felt his own body being lifted out of the water and being laid down on the hard, damp surface of the boat’s floor. He felt a blanket being placed over him and people shouting various orders, but all he could think about was Rose. He could no longer see her, and there was a terrifying feeling that she wasn’t going to be okay. Guilt instantly washed over him. He’d taken too long to find her, to get to a lifeboat. And he’d lost Parker. He hadn’t been able to find his sister anywhere…she was probably still out there somewhere, either waiting for help or worse. And Mandy. Rose’s best friend, also lost. And Rose herself. Passed out from being in the water so long, with likely a good chance that she might never wake up again.

Jack felt his world crumble, but quickly, he, too, felt himself fall into unconsciousness.

*****

"I thought I’d lost you."

Jack couldn’t remember falling asleep. As he came to, his last memory was of being in the water with Rose after the Titanic had gone down. He’d been dragging her towards a lifeboat. She’d been unconscious, and he’d been so sure she’d been dead…but now, here she was, standing and smiling as he lay in a strange bed in a small, strange room that was cluttered with people, noise, and bright lights that hurt his eyes.

"R-Rose," he croaked. His throat burned. His head ached, and the idea of moving made him feel sick. But he was alive. He supposed he should be happy about that, but there was something nagging at him that prevented any feeling of relief or happiness. Quickly, he remembered. Parker.

He hadn’t found her. He’d looked and looked right after the ship had gone down, but he’d had to give up when he’d spotted Rose instead. Guilt tore at him, and he struggled not to cry. Instead, he looked at Rose, silently asking a million questions all at once.

"We’re on the Carpathia," Rose explained. "It’s a ship that collected us Titanic survivors. I saw your parents and Posey earlier. Don’t worry; they don’t know you’re here. When I came around, I gave the officer who asked a different name when he asked who you were. We just have to be careful not to let them see us, if that’s what you want."

"Parker…?" Jack asked, somehow knowing the answer already.

"I asked, but they said she wasn’t on the list. Neither is Mandy. They’re missing," Rose stated. Jack noted how she didn’t say they were dead…he knew they had to be, but guessed that Rose didn’t want him to get upset when he was already so delicate. He looked at her, standing by the bed he was in, and wondered how she looked so well, considering that she had been in a bad way when he’d found her. He voiced the question aloud.

"How come you’re better off than me?" Jack asked.

"I don’t know. But you got exhaustion from getting me to the lifeboat. At least, that’s what the doctor told me. You’ve got a really bad case of hypothermia, too. I’ve got that, as well, but not as badly as you, and I’ve had two days rest already."

"Wait. What day is this?"

"It’s nearly three o’clock on Wednesday afternoon. You’ve been out of it since maybe an hour after the Titanic sank."

Jack sighed. "What now?"

"I don’t know. The doctor says you still need to rest. The Carpathia’s going to reach New York tonight…do you still want to stay with me?"

"Sure. I was going to, anyway…just because the ship we were traveling on sank and my sister is likely dead…why should our plans change?"

There was bitterness in Jack’s voice, but it wasn’t aimed at Rose…just fate in general. Of all the people in his family to lose, why did it have to be Parker? The one he was closest to and respected the most. It was just another reminder of how cruel and unpredictable life could be. Not even the knowledge that he’d saved Rose or her presence at that moment made him feel better. His sister was dead…it would take him a long time before that knowledge no long hurt him. Still tired, Jack soon drifted back to sleep.

*****

Rose didn’t leave Jack’s bedside at all. She desperately needed a bath, a change of clothes, and something to eat, but she didn’t want to leave Jack unguarded. The one thing that was helping her to keep her mind off the fact that the best friend she’d ever had was dead was being there for Jack. She didn’t allow herself to think about Amanda Phillips, knowing she’d break down if she did. And now wasn’t the time to get clouded by emotions.

The Carpathia would be docking in a few hours, and Rose needed to think about what would happen when they got off the ship. She had no money, and nothing at all other than the clothes she stood in. She didn’t even have any form of identity to prove who she was. Jack, so long as he continued to keep away from his family and use the false name she had come up with for him, was in the same position. Consequently, they had next to no options.

Unless…

Jessica Cates. Rose’s aunt and only known living relative. The sister of her deceased mother, the same aunt who hadn’t wanted to know and who had so casually spent Rose’s whole life acting like her niece didn’t exist. How could Rose think about approaching such a person for help so suddenly after they spent a lifetime ignoring each other? What would it be like, should Rose just turn up out of nowhere on her aunt’s doorstep and expect a place to stay and maybe even some kind of financial help until she was able to get a job and a place of her own? Surely Jessica would just turn her away, tell her to get lost and laugh at the ridiculousness of it…but then, what if she didn’t? And Rose didn’t plan on staying for long. She and Jack would get jobs and an apartment of their own someplace, just like she’d wanted originally.

But where to even begin? First, if she was going to go to her Aunt Jessica’s, she would have to get there, and with no money and no identity, that would likely be extremely difficult. She’d have to stick around in New York a while, with whatever support foundation would be set up for Titanic survivors--and she knew that the city would do something--until she got her identity papers sorted out. Money was a more worrying matter. She had no idea how she was going to make a single dime, let alone enough cash to travel all the way to Santa Monica where Jessica lived.

That was, if Jessica Cates even did live in Santa Monica anymore. Rose would have to try to check first…no way was she going to drag herself and Jack all the way across the country only to find her aunt didn’t even live there anymore. When she got to a phone, when she wasn’t so damned tired, she could call Information and see if they knew. Then, and only then, would she seriously begin to work towards traveling anywhere.

Rose sighed. Hard times were ahead, and she was dreading every minute of what was to come. Like the day her parents had died, there didn’t seem to be any kind of light at the end of the tunnel. It would be a long, daunting road ahead, and Rose just wished that a fairy godmother would appear and make everything all right, because she didn’t know if she could.

Chapter Twelve
Stories