Following Tim’s diagnosis—the second blood test and the X-ray had confirmed what the original tests had indicated—the band left California and headed back into Arizona. Daffodil felt strongly that Tim should stay in California, find a place to live, and undergo treatment, but he refused, saying that if he was going to die, he was going to finish out his life as he had lived before. A settled life had never appealed to Tim.
Daffodil knew that the tuberculosis, at least, was curable, and that it could take years for a person to die from AIDS, especially if it was treated, but that made no difference. Tim was determined to live out the rest of his life as he wanted, regardless of what anyone else’s opinion was. Neither Daffodil nor any of the others could change his mind.
In a way, Rose respected his decision to go on with life as though nothing had changed, to make his own decisions about his life—even if those decisions ended up shortening it. She wondered if she herself would have so much courage under similar circumstances, but knew that she wouldn’t know unless she was faced with such adversity.
Their relationship would never be the same, although she had warmed enough to him again to be his friend. She began assisting Daffodil in her treatment of whatever illnesses and injuries befell the members of the group, and learned quickly. It wasn’t her favorite thing to do—she doubted that she would make a very good nurse or doctor, but she did learn enough to be of help, and to take care of herself if she needed to.
Her zest for life, so recently realized in the aftermath of the Masline earthquake, had not altered, but after this latest close call, she had learned more caution. It did no good to live each moment to its fullest if what she did threatened her life unnecessarily. Much of the fear and naivety she had once carried with her had disappeared, replaced by experience and a willingness to live life to the fullest, without compromising whatever the future might bring.
As the weeks passed, and the band moved from gig to gig throughout the state, Rose continued to sing with them, taking the lead more and more often as Tim’s tuberculosis progressed. Though untrained, her voice was beautiful, soaring through the crowded buildings they sang in, catching the attention even of people determined to ignore them.
Hard Times gave a small outdoor concert in Phoenix just before Christmas, with everyone, even Tim, participating. For the rest of the winter, they rarely lacked for work, but the already-present creative differences increased, especially as Tim began working more and more behind the scenes, rather than taking part in the whole creative life of the band. He still tried to direct the band’s work, but as the others grew more independent of him, the conflicts grew.