JUST WHEN I NEEDED YOU
Chapter Eighteen
May 17, 2003
Rose rocked baby Janelle, trying to get her
to sleep. The twins had been brought into the world five days earlier, during
the early morning hours of May twelfth. They had come home the day before and
so far, were the perfect babies. Janelle's twin, a brother, whom Rose named
Colin, was even more well behaved than Josh had been. Josh himself was elated
to be a big brother and tried helping, though he just ended up getting in the
way most of the time. Both twins were the mirror image of their father, much to
the delight of their mother. "That's a good baby," Rose whispered,
kissing her daughter's head before laying her down in the crib. She sighed
happily as she watched the two of them sleep. Precious gifts from her and
Jack's unrestricted love.
As she made her way down the hall, to where
Josh was playing with the dog, Rose felt a sudden wave of sadness wash over
her. In no way was it fair that she was here, with their three kids, while Jack
was only God knows where. He should be home with them, sharing in the joy of
raising their children. Rose let out a sob before sinking to the floor, tears
falling freely. In the distance, she heard the phone ring and Helga answer, not
really comprehending it. Suddenly, Helga appeared in front of her. "Rose?
Rose, stop crying. The phone is for you."
Rose brushed some tears away. "I don't
feel like talking. Tell whoever it is to call back later."
Helga gave her a stern look. "Believe
me, you want to take this call."
Rose shrugged and went into the kitchen,
where the phone was lying on the counter.
"Hello?" Rose said, half-heartedly.
"Oh, God, Rose," the voice on the
other end cried.
"J-J-Jack?" Rose stuttered.
"It's me. Oh, God, Rose. It's so good to
hear your voice."
Rose broke down into tears. "I miss you
Jack. When are you coming home? Please, you have to come home."
It was all Jack could do to keep his
composure. "Don't cry, honey, please. I'll be home, I promise."
Rose blinked back her tears, realizing Jack
didn't know about the twins. "Jack...you're a dad again."
"You had them?"
"Yes, Saturday morning. A boy and a
girl...Janelle Christine, for your mother, and Colin Michael."
"I'm missing everything." Jack sighed.
"Was everything okay during delivery? Nothing went wrong?"
"It was fine. I was in labor for a long
time though. Nearly seventeen hours."
"Shit! I'm so sorry I wasn't
there."
"I know you are, but don't beat yourself
up over it. You can't control your not being there."
"As usual, you're right. How's
Josh?"
"He's doing really good. Would you like
to talk to him?"
"Could I? Do you think he would?"
"Yes. Hold on a second." Rose
pulled the phone away from her mouth. "Josh! Josh, hon, come here."
*****
Jack heard the sound of footsteps, a dog
barking, and a child's laugh. Suddenly, the phone was picked up again and he
could hear Rose talking to their son. "Your daddy's on the phone. You
wanna talk to him?" Silence. "Okay. Say hi!"
A small voice came on the line.
"Hi!" it exclaimed.
Jack felt like crying. "Hi, Josh. This
is Daddy. Do you remember me?"
Josh giggled. "Dada!"
"Yeah, that's right. I'm your
dada."
Jack could hear him start to jump up and
down. "Mama, Mama! Dada, Dada!"
Rose chuckled at Josh's excitement, despite
the fact it made her want to cry. She took the phone from him.
"Jack?"
"He remembers me," Jack said, in
awe.
"I told you that. He loves you and
misses you immensely."
Jack sighed, debating over something.
"I'm coming home."
"I know you will. You wouldn't break a
promise like that."
"No, I mean I'm coming home now."
"What?"
"There's a bunch of guys in the medical
area, doctors for the injured. They've got this whole thing going...if I break
something small, an arm or something, and let them know I've got young kids at
home, they'll write me up as seriously injured and I can be dismissed from
duty."
"Jack...I want you to come home. Don't
get me wrong. But that's illegal..."
Jack sighed again. "I know. That's why I
haven't done it. But I can't take this. I can't stay here, all the way around
the world from you, from my kids. I need to hold you, Rose. Not just dream
about it."
"I'm not going to try and stop you. I
know better than that. But I don't approve."
"I'm going to think it through before I
do anything. Don't worry, I'm not going to make any rash decisions."
"Okay. Other than...all that, how are
you?"
"Tired. Lonely. Depressed. Hungry. How
are you?"
"I'm all right, minus being sore from
the birth still."
"It's only been a few days. You
complained when Josh was born, too."
"You try pushing a child out of you and
see how you feel."
Jack laughed slightly. "All right, point
taken. Have you talked to your mom lately?"
"Last week. You're never going to believe
what happened, though."
"What's that?"
"Cal killed himself."
Jack fell silent for a minute.
"How?"
"Shot himself, I guess. Mom didn't go
into the specifics."
"Damn. I wish I could say I'm sorry, but
I'm not. Serves the bastard right for what he did to you."
"That was my initial thought, too. But
as much as I hated him, I wouldn't wish death upon him."
"You're a lot more forgiving than I
am."
"I suppose so."
"...fuck!"
"Jack? What's wrong?"
"I have to go. We're all loaded
up."
Rose sighed. "You really have to?"
"Yes. I'll write as soon as
possible."
"Okay. Be careful out there. And don't
be stupid. I want you to come home, but in one piece."
Jack laughed dryly. "All right. Give the
kids a kiss for me. Send Helga my love. And dream of me."
"Consider it done. I love you."
"I love you, too. More then I can say in
mere words."
"I miss you."
"Miss you, too."
"Bye, Jack."
"Bye, Rosie."