PRESENT TENSE
Chapter Thirty
Wednesday, July 9, 2003
The change in Jack was remarkable. He no longer
yelled at Rose when she expressed concern, or shut his friends out. Although he
still often acted like he was in pain, and still ate very little, he seemed
much happier, and the others were relieved, and a little surprised, at the
sudden change.
Something about Jack’s sudden change in
attitude bothered Rose, although she couldn’t put her finger on it. Whatever it
was nagged at the back of her mind, but she was so pleased that he was
beginning to behave normally again that she didn’t think too hard about it.
Still, Rose was surprised when, on Wednesday
afternoon, Jack asked her to go out with him that night. Neither of them had
anything else to do, since it was Helga’s turn to cook dinner, and Jack thought
that Helga would appreciate having two less people to cook for, especially
since she was currently suffering from a bad case of all-day morning sickness.
Rose agreed, so they went to a local diner
that served real food rather than fast food. Rose ordered ham and mashed
potatoes, and ate hungrily. Jack ordered less food, only soup and salad, but he
forced himself to eat what he had ordered. Rose watched him surreptitiously,
noting that he was eating better, at least for the moment, but still concerned
for some unfathomable reason.
It was about 7:30 when they left, and still
light out. Rose was reluctant to return home just yet—she was enjoying spending
time with Jack—so she suggested that they see a movie. Jack readily agreed, not
wanting their date to end yet, so they drove down to Southland, since the movie
theater in Masline had collapsed during the earthquake and had not yet been
rebuilt.
Jack let Rose choose the movie—he was more
interested in spending time with her than in watching the movie—so Rose chose a
movie that had just come out that day, Pirates of the Caribbean, which
starred one of her favorite actors, Johnny Depp. Jack was not so enamored of
Johnny Depp as Rose was, though he thought he was a decent actor, but he
thought the movie sounded interesting enough. He was glad she had chosen an
action movie instead of a romantic comedy—he had always fallen asleep at those
even when he was feeling at his best. Now, he hoped he could stay awake long
enough to see even an action movie.
Despite his change in attitude, Jack still
wasn’t sleeping well, and made a regular habit of falling asleep on Rose’s
shoulder in the evening. She usually woke him around nine, at which time he
would make his way to bed and then lie awake for hours, his thoughts whirling.
He would finally fall asleep, only to awaken again in the wee hours of the
morning, and then finally fall into an exhausted sleep around five AM. Since he
had to get up at six, he wasn’t getting much rest.
They sat together at the back of the theater,
Jack’s arm around Rose. Rose leaned against him, eating popcorn. Jack had
insisted that he didn’t want any, and since he had actually eaten dinner that
night, Rose didn’t try to push him.
Jack managed to stay awake, but he paid
little attention to the movie. He felt himself nodding off several times and
had to struggle to keep his eyes open. He had a lot on his mind. He knew what
needed to be done, and he could only hope that the others would understand.
Rose looked up when he pulled her closer, but
most of her attention was on the movie. Jack seemed to be staying awake this
time, so she leaned closer against him, resting her head on his shoulder while
she watched the film. She was enjoying herself, even if Jack did seem to be
more than a little distracted.
It was nearly eleven o’clock when they
finally arrived home. The house was quiet, the others having gone to their
rooms earlier. They came into the house silently so as not to wake anyone.
Rose set her purse down on the table.
"Thank you, Jack," she told him
quietly. "I had fun tonight."
"Glad you enjoyed it." He paused.
"Wait here a minute. I have something for you."
Rose waited, curious. When Jack returned, he
had his portfolio in his hand.
"You’ve been doing your art again?"
Rose asked him.
"A little bit," he told her,
handing her the portfolio. She started to open it, wondering what he had drawn.
"It’s for you," he told her.
"A drawing?"
"No, the whole thing. The whole
portfolio."
Rose looked at him, confused. "Why are
you giving me this? It’s your most prized possession."
He shrugged. "That’s why."
Rose felt even more confused, and the nagging
worries edged back into her consciousness, but she pushed them away again.
"Well...thank you." She paused. "Are you sure you want to give
this to me?"
"I’m sure."
Uncomfortably, Rose set the portfolio on the table
and stepped up to Jack, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you,
Jack," she whispered.
"I love you, too, Rose," he told
her. She looked at him questioningly, and he knew that, with a word, she would
come to his bed, or invite him to hers.
He stepped back. "Good night,
Rose," he told her, turning and walking away, leaving her looking confused
and hurt. But it was for the best, he told himself. If they spent the night
together, it would make it that much harder to do what needed to be done.
After tonight, he wouldn’t see Rose again.