PRESENT TENSE
Chapter Fifty-Seven

Tuesday, November 4, 2003

Jack and Rose settled into married life quickly. In many ways, nothing had changed—they lived in the same house as before, shared meals with their roommates, and snuggled together in front of the television most evenings. In other ways, things had changed—for the better. Rather than parting each evening, they now retreated to their own room at the end of the day, and awoke together in the mornings, often nestled together, their shared warmth taking the chill off of even the coldest autumn nights. Beyond that, marriage felt different to them, though they could never explain it or define it as such to each other or to anyone else. It was just something that they felt, that they both instinctively knew and understood about each other, without words being said.

Early in November, Rose was at work went she got a surprising phone call. It had been a quiet morning, with only a few calls and no crises, so Rose was relaxed when she reached to answer the phone—but the voice on the other end immediately made her wary.

"May I speak with Rose Dawson, please?"

"Speaking." Rose tensed, recognizing the voice.

"Rose, this is your mother. What time is your lunch break?"

"One," Rose replied, wondering why Ruth was calling. She hadn’t realized that her mother knew where she worked. "What’s going on?"

"I have something I need to discuss with you."

"Why? What’s happened? Did something happen to Nana or David?"

"They’re fine, Rose. This has to do with your husband."

"What about Jack?"

"This is best not discussed over the phone. Can you meet me at the Sizzler on Eighth Street in Southland at one o’clock?"

"Mom, it’s a forty-five minute drive there. I don’t get off for lunch until one, and I can’t drive there and back in an hour."

"Fine. I’ll meet you in Masline, then. Where would you like to meet?"

Rose usually went to the fast food restaurant next door to the clinic for lunch or brought food from home, but she knew that her mother would disdain McDonald’s as a meeting place. "Why don’t you meet me at Angie’s Diner at 1:15?"

"I don’t much care for that place."

"It’s either that or fast food. That’s all that Masline has these days."

Ruth was silent for a moment. "All right, Rose. I will see you at Angie’s."

Another line rang on Rose’s phone, so she cut the conversation short. "There’s another call, Mom. I’ll see you then. Good-bye."

After she had answered the second call, Rose turned to the computer to log information about the visits to the clinic over the last two weeks. As she worked, she wondered what Ruth had to say about Jack. A part of her hoped that her mother had finally accepted her marriage, but given her reaction the last time they had met, she doubted it. She wasn’t sure what her mother had to say, but she suspected it wouldn’t be anything good.

Rose was right. As soon as they were seated in a booth in the far corner of the restaurant, Ruth started in.

"I’ve learned a few things about your husband that I was disturbed to hear."

"Such as?"

"He has a criminal record going back to the age of seventeen."

Rose took a sip of water. "I know."

"You know?!"

"He told me, the first time we talked. He was a gang member, specializing in petty theft."

"Did you know that he spent time in juvenile hall?"

"Yes."

"And yet, knowing these things, you still married him."

"He’s stayed out of trouble since he was released from juvenile hall."

"Except for that incident last May when he stole your engagement ring."

"He didn’t steal it. Cal slipped it into his pocket."

"And why would Cal have done that?"

"To discredit him in my eyes, most likely. He wasn’t happy about my breaking the engagement."

"You undoubtedly could have saved a lot of trouble if you hadn’t broken it."

"In some ways, yes. In others...well...let’s just say I’d rather be alive than dead."

"He wouldn’t have gotten so angry that he tried to shoot you if you hadn’t started the trouble in the first place."

Rose stiffened, but kept her temper, not wanting to cause another scene. "Maybe. But I doubt it. I told you how he abused me."

"You never showed any signs of being abused."

"Most of the time, it didn’t show. I wore clothes that covered the bruises, makeup to cover the slap marks. But there was one time when it was so obvious that I was hurt that I made up a story to cover it."

"When was that?"

"That morning back in April when I ‘fell down the stairs’. I didn’t fall down the stairs. Cal beat me senseless and knocked my head against the dining room table."

"Why didn’t you say something then?"

Rose was silent for a moment, still unwilling to tell her mother just why she had kept quiet. Finally, she asked her, "Would you have believed me?"

"I still don’t believe you."

"There’s your answer. Why should I discuss something like that with someone who would accuse me of lying?" Her eyes narrowed. "How did you get this information about Jack anyway?"

"I received a letter from Cal. He is allowed to send letters out from prison, you know, as long as the recipient doesn’t object. Of course, the letters are checked first, but information about someone else’s criminal history is allowed."

"And, of course, you lapped up every word of it, every word confirming what a foolish choice your daughter has made. Why should I marry a petty thief, when I could have married a would-be killer?"

"Rose!" Ruth looked at her sharply. "I was trying to warn you about what you’ve gotten yourself into. You have good reason to seek a divorce. After all, if you unknowingly married a criminal..."

"Jack isn’t a criminal, Mom, and I don’t want a divorce. I’m very happy being married to him."

"He is a criminal, Rose."

"No, Mom, he isn’t. He paid his debt to society. Once that was done, he was no longer a criminal. Some people do learn their lesson, believe it or not."

"Then why didn’t you give Cal a second chance?"

"I did. I gave him a second chance, and a third chance, and a fourth chance...you get the picture. He would hit me, and then act contrite, bring me flowers or something, and promise that it would never happen again. A month later, he would do it again, and act contrite, and apologize profusely. But the incidents got closer and closer together, and eventually he stopped acting so apologetic, except for when he knew he was really in trouble. He blamed me for his behavior, and I finally had enough."

"So you turned to another man."

"Jack loves me. He was one of my closest friends even before I ended things with Cal. I’d loved him for a long time before I decided to act on my feelings."

"And how does Jack treat you?"

"With love and respect. He doesn’t hit me, or threaten me, or make me feel like I’m stupid and worthless—all of which Cal did."

"Rose...I just think you could do so much better."

Rose shook her head. "No, Mom, I couldn’t. Jack is the best, and I love him."

"You’re living in a run-down, rented house with two other people."

"There’s more to life than how much money we have. I’ll concede, we probably could afford to move elsewhere—but the fact of the matter is all four of us are content with the arrangement. The rent is low, the neighborhood is pleasant, and there’s plenty of room for all of us. We get along well, and there’s worse things than living with your friends." She paused, sighing. "Mom, can’t you please at least try to accept my marriage? I’m happy, and I’m married to the man I want to spend my life with. Jack gives me everything that’s really important."

"Which is why you’re working, at a time when you should be pursuing college full-time."

"I go to college in the evenings. It will take a little longer for me to get a degree—but I haven’t really decided what I want yet, anyway."

"You wanted a degree in business."

"No, Cal wanted me to get a degree in business. I was bored stiff. I like working, but I don’t want to be a businesswoman. It just doesn’t appeal to me."

"You have to make a living somehow."

"I am. I’m working as an office assistant, which, believe it or not, is actually a pretty good job."

"Your husband should be supporting you until you’ve finished your education."

"Did Dad support you?"

"I was already finished with college when I married your father. Don’t try to change the subject, Rose."

"I wasn’t trying to." Rose’s voice was tense. Ruth was beginning to wear on her nerves. "Jack and I support each other, as a married couple should. If it should happen that one of us becomes unemployed, the other will pick up the slack."

"I still think—"

"Mom, I’ve heard just about enough."

"Don’t speak to me that way, Rose."

"What do you expect? You call me at work, get me to meet you here, and then start in on how bad my husband is—when you’ve only met him twice and know almost nothing about him! Maybe you should get to know him before you make any judgments."

"I know enough, Rose. Enough to know that you’re going to get hurt if you stay in this marriage. You may think he’s changed, but one day you’ll find out differently."

"Then it will be my problem, and my decision as to what to do. Don’t judge all men by Dad, Mom. Just because he hurt you doesn’t mean that Jack will hurt me."

"Your father never laid a hand on me."

"But he cheated on you, ran around with other women, neglected us. You two would have been better off divorced, but not everyone is like Dad. Just because Jack has a questionable past doesn’t mean that he’s going to hurt me."

"That kind of man will always hurt you."

"Not always, Mom. I wish you would give him a chance before you start judging him." Unexpectedly, tears threatened, but Rose blinked them back. Glancing at her watch, she told Ruth, "I need to be getting back to work. I hope that next time we meet, you’ll be a little more open-minded." She got up and walked away, leaving Ruth staring after her, shaking her head.

*****

Rose was still thinking about the conversation with her mother that evening. Tense, and more upset over the meeting than she cared to admit, she went to bed early, taking a couple of aspirin to ease her headache. She was leaning against the bed, searching through her bookcase for something to read, when Jack walked in.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, sliding down to the floor next to her.

Rose nodded tiredly. "I’m fine. I just had a really long day. Mom called me at work, and got me to meet her for lunch. Of course, she immediately started in on how stupid I was to marry you, and how bad you are. Somehow, Cal managed to find out about your past, and told Mom about it in a letter."

"I suspected that he knew, right from the time he tried to frame me for the theft of your ring."

"He keeps causing trouble, even though he’s in prison."

"Don’t let it get to you."

"It’s hard not to let it get to me. I’d like to forget—but I can’t."

"It’s better that we don’t forget. That way, we’ll know to watch out for him."

"I know." Rose leaned her head against his shoulder, her book lying forgotten beside her.

"What are you reading?" Jack picked up the book and looked at the title. "Wild Western Desire?"

Rose blushed. "It’s hilarious and thoroughly without meaning—just what I need to relax."

Jack leafed through it. "Hmm...I see what you mean. This would put me right to sleep."

Rose laughed. "Have you ever read one of these romance novels?"

"Only once, when I was a freshman in high school. I wanted to see what the girls thought was so great about these books."

"And did you figure it out?"

"No. It’s romance."

"You’re a guy." Rose took the book back. "I don’t expect you to understand."

"I understand enough." He pulled Rose into his arms as she set the book on a shelf.

Rose relaxed, returning the embrace. They kissed, leaning back against the bed, until Jack pulled her closer against him and pushed her gently back against the carpet.

At this, a terrified look crossed Rose’s face and she pushed at him, breaking the kiss. "No! Stop!"

Jack looked at her, confused by her sudden change in demeanor. One moment, she was warm and responsive, and the next, she was terrified, shoving him away. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what was wrong. She had never reacted this way before.

Rose struggled, finally succeeding in pushing him away. Getting to her feet, she burst into tears and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Jack got up, more confused than ever. What was going on?

After a few minutes, he knocked on the bathroom door. Rose didn’t answer. He tried the door, and finding it unlocked, slipped inside. Rose was sitting on the edge of the tub, crying and rocking herself gently. She didn’t appear to notice him.

"Rose?" Jack sat on the edge of the tub next to her. "What’s wrong?"

She didn’t answer. He moved closer, putting a hand on her shoulder, but she cringed, moving away from him.

"Don’t...don’t..." She choked on a sob.

"Don’t what, Rose?"

"Don’t do that. Please."

"What?"

"Don’t...rape me."

"I’m not going to. You know that all you have to say is no. Have I ever given you reason to think differently?"

She finally looked at him. "No...but when you pushed me down to the floor...I thought..."

"Why? Why does the floor...make you so uncomfortable?" When she didn’t answer, he queried, "Does it have something to do with Cal?"

She finally nodded, not looking at him. "That morning...back in April...he took me on the floor of the dining room."

"It still upsets you."

"Yes. I know, it’s stupid to let it bother me after so long. It’s been almost seven months...I hate him!" She stood, suddenly furious. "He hurt me...he almost killed you...and he won’t let us be! He has a nice, cushy life in prison—"

"Rose, believe me, prison life is anything but nice. People who say it is probably haven’t been there. You may be provided for and taken care of, but you’re stuck with an awful lot of people who aren’t very nice, including the other prisoners. You don’t have any freedom, and you’re stuck there, like it or not."

"It’s still too good for him." She slumped, suddenly tired. "I never want to hear from him again."

"He has a restraining order. He’s not allowed to send you anything or phone you."

"But he does communicate with Mom."

"And that’s half the problem, isn’t it? She’s still angry that you ended your engagement in the first place, and she’s resentful of the fact that you’re happy."

"I never thought about it that way—but you’re right. She does resent the fact that I’ve found happiness. She and Dad were so unhappy, and she wants to believe that I’ve made the same mistake she did."

"I won’t hurt you, Rose. I promise. I meant every word of the vows I made on our wedding day. I won’t run around on you, or abandon you...or abuse you like Cal did. You have my word on that."

"I know. I don’t what got into me just now."

"You’re tired, and you panicked."

"Something else you learned from studying psychology?"

"Probably." He stood up, hugging her.

Rose leaned against him tiredly. "I’m sorry."

"Shh." He pulled her head against his shoulder, rubbing her back. "I think what you need is a good night’s rest. Just sleep," he added, when she looked up at him.

"I think you’re right."

They walked out of the bathroom together and slipped quietly into bed. Rose turned her lamp out and snuggled against Jack, putting her arms around him.

"I love you, Jack. Thank you for not getting upset."

"There wasn’t anything to be upset about." He held her tight. "I love you, Rose. That’s not going to change, I promise."

Rose’s only response was to kiss him and nestle closer, laying her head beside his in a gesture of love and trust.

Chapter Fifty-Eight
Stories