FEELINGS IN THE SPOTLIGHT
Chapter Sixteen

On their way home, Jack didn’t say a word, and Mandy wondered what was going on with him. She didn’t want to bother him, so she kept looking out her window. When they got to her house, Jack helped Mandy out of the car and opened the house door. Finally, Mandy got tired of his silence and grabbed his arm.

"Jack, something is wrong! What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing. I don’t know. I think I have that…what is it called…um…bipolar. You know, where you are happy one moment and then pissed off the next; you know, very strange mood swings," Jack said, turning around. He made a face, knowing that that was the biggest lie he had ever spoken. He felt so ashamed. She just frowned and followed him inside the house.

*****

A few days later, Samuel and Rose decided to move in together. They were happy, or at least that was what Samuel thought.

One day, as Samuel left for work, Rose hugged him and smiled when he left. Rose walked into the house and sat down on the couch. She didn’t have a movie filming; she had decided to take some time off. She turned on the television. As she flipped through the channels, she saw a gossip show. She started to watch it when Jack’s image came on.

"Well, on our list of hot bachelors, number three is Jack Dawson. He is currently dating model Mandy, but he is still on our list. He is known to be a hot bachelor. He gives all the ladies a chance." The announcer laughed. Rose turned off the TV and threw the remote control on the couch.

Ugh! Why can’t you just leave me alone? Everywhere I go, everything I see, there you are. I’m tired of this. I moved on! I’m sure I did. I stopped thinking about you a long time ago, and I want to keep it that way. Then why are you on my mind? she thought, frustrated.

The night came, and Rose and Samuel lay together on their bed. Samuel was already half-asleep when he wrapped his arms around her. He gently kissed her neck. She smiled at him, he closed his eyes, and she turned her back on him. He lay his head on her shoulder as he ran his hands along her sides. She was barely paying any attention to him. She felt so cold. She felt nothing. Then he was back in her mind. Jack. She closed her eyes hard, hoping that that way she would manage to get him out of her mind, but no matter what she did, he was there in her mind.

*****

The next day, Sarah called her.

"Hey, sis. I need a ride. My stupid car is giving me problems. I need a ride to the studio," Sarah said. She was now an actress, a starter, but she was very good.

"Yeah, sure. Just wait a sec. I’ll be there in a minute," Rose said. Rose got to Sarah’s house and drove her to the movie studio.

"So, you haven’t told me the name of this movie. What is it?" Rose asked, and Sarah didn’t answer. "Oh, come on, Sarah. It’s not like it’s one of those nasty porno movies that you know I would be mad if you made. Let me tell you that," Rose said, and Sarah laughed.

"It’s not a porno. It’s just I…I think you will be mad if…" Sarah didn’t answer as Rose parked.

"Why do you think I would be mad?" Rose asked as Sarah got out the car. Rose followed her.

"Please, Rose, can I tell you some other time?" Sarah asked, and Rose didn’t understand what she was talking about.

"Hey, kiddo!" a man yelled, and Rose quickly recognized his voice. Jack walked to Sarah, patted her on the back, and smiled, but quickly wiped his smile away when he saw Rose.

"Um…hi, Rose…um…I guess I’ll see you on set, Sarah," Jack said, and walked to his trailer.

"Oh, that is why you didn’t want to tell me what the name of the movie was!" Rose laughed nervously.

"I’m sorry, Rose; I knew you would get upset," Sarah said, and Rose looked at her.

"Why…why would I be upset?" Rose asked angrily. Sarah looked away. "I’m not angry…have a great day, Sarah!" Rose said, and left. Sarah walked to her trailer just as Jack walked out of his.

"Hey, Sarah, so did she…you know…get mad or disappointed, or was she plainly happy to see me?" Jack asked sarcastically.

"Well, she didn’t look too happy," Sarah said, sitting down in a chair. Jack smiled and sat next to her.

"Is she really…is she really going to marry that guy? I mean, not that it bothers me, but is she?" Jack asked, and Sarah looked at him and smiled.

"Yeah, but to tell you the truth, every time she tells me some of the plans for the wedding, I get the idea that she isn’t too excited about it."

"What do you mean, not too excited?"

"Well, who is going to be excited about marrying Samuel? He is boring and too into his job, too serious. He makes me want to puke," Sarah said, and Jack started to laugh. "To tell you the truth, I don’t think Rose really wants to marry him. She is just doing it because, to her, he is a great guy, and to forget about…some…to forget about this thing," she said, and Jack looked down and smiled.

"Thing? Well, I’m not too fond of him, either, but he isn’t that bad of a guy. Rose might be happy with him. She just doesn’t show it," Jack said.

"That is just it. Rose isn’t happy. If you only knew the kind of love and wedding she has dreamed of all her life."

"Well, tell me. What does Rose dream of?" Jack asked.

"Well, she wants that guy in the movies who everybody cheers for to get the girl because he is so great. She wants that guy in the movies who runs to the girl with flowers and for him to yell that he loves her. She wants that good guy in the movie. She wants a happy ending like in some of the romantic movies, but she has given up that dream. She says that being who she is, love like that doesn’t exist," Sarah said, and Jack stayed quiet for a moment.

"So, you think she doesn’t love that Samuel dude?"

"I’m positive she doesn’t," Sarah said, and Jack stood up.

"Come on, kid. Let’s go to work," he said, and she followed him.

"You know, I’m not that much younger than you. Why do you call me kid?" Sarah asked, and Jack started to laugh.

"Well, I used to call your sister Weirdo. Do you prefer that?" Jack asked, smiling.

"Um…I think I’ll stay with kid," Sarah said, laughing.

*****

Jack got to his house and again found it empty. Mandy was always gone, always too busy. He always found himself lonely. He called her, but only got her voicemail. He stayed up, waiting for her, but instead of thinking of Mandy, he thought of Rose.

So, she really doesn’t like that guy…what do I care…oh, my God! he thought. He closed his eyes for a while, thinking and thinking, when all of a sudden, Mandy was there.

"Hey, sleepyhead. How was your day?" she asked, and Jack stood up.

"Um…um…okay, I guess. Where were you?" he asked, and was about to hug her, but she walked to the phone and completely ignored him. He smiled and nodded his head.

"I was with some of my friends. We just had dinner. That is all," she said, and started to call someone.

"You barely got home, and you are already on the phone. Who are you calling?" he asked, and sat next to her.

"One of my friends. I forgot when we are going to leave the country," she said, and Jack was surprised.

"Out of the country? How come you haven’t told me?" he asked, shocked.

"Oh, we are leaving for a few weeks. Don’t get mad, Jack. It’s only for a few weeks," she said, getting up. Her attitude was frustrating him. For the past few weeks, all she had done was talk about her work, and she was hardly home.

"Well, when are you going to spend some time with me?" he asked.

"Oh, don’t whine, Jack. It’s my job, and I don’t have time to waste," she said, and she reminded him of his younger self. "I’m huge right now, and I have to live it!" she said.

"Well, I guess that includes leaving me alone," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Jack, be quiet!" she said, and she went to their room.

*****

The next day, Rose dropped Sarah at the movie set again, and again she saw Jack, but she tried her best to ignore him. The same thing happened over the next few weeks.

One day, Rose was in her house all alone. Samuel had left for a few weeks, and she was by herself. Her phone rang and she answered. It was her mother, who sounded stressed and sad.

"Rose, honey, it’s your dad…"

"What’s wrong?"

"Your dad had…a car accident, and he is the hospital right now!" Ruth yelled, and Rose started to cry.

*****

The next day, Jack was on set, waiting for his next scene, when he saw Sarah crying. He walked to her in worry.

"Hey, kid. What’s wrong?" he asked, and she looked at him sadly.

"My dad had…my dad had a car accident. My mom, Rose, and I spent the whole night at the hospital. They say he is getting better, but I don’t know," she said, and Jack hugged her.

"I’m sure your dad is going to be all right, Sarah," he said, trying to comfort her. "How is Rose doing?" he asked, worried.

"Oh, I think she is doing worse than I am. She is so down right now. I worry about her," Sarah said, and Jack didn’t know what to do.

*****

After the movie was done shooting for the day, Jack went to his house, and while he was getting out of his car, his phone rang. He answered to find Mandy on the line.

"Hey, babe, when are you coming home?" he asked, and she sighed.

"Oh, I don’t know, but I’m having a heck of a time over here. It’s so much fun," she said, and he just nodded.

"So, you don’t miss me?" he asked.

"Ugh. Don’t start, Jack. Look, I have to go, but I’ll talk to you later. Okay? Bye!" she said, and hung up before he could even say bye himself.

He closed his cell phone angrily and thought for a few seconds. He returned to his car and headed out.

*****

Rose was sitting on the couch, crying and worrying about her dad. She decided to call Samuel for some comfort. He answered, and she told him everything about her father.

"Rose, sweetheart, I’m sure he’ll be all right. I’m in the middle of a meeting. Call me later. Don’t worry," he said.

"But can’t you come back for a few days?" she asked.

"Sorry, hon, but I can’t. Look, I’ll get there when my business here is done, which right now is far from possible," he said, and she sadly agreed and hung the phone up when the doorbell rang. She stood to answer it, and to her surprise and disbelief, saw the last person she thought she would ever see at her front door again. Jack.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" she asked, and he smiled.

"I came to give an old friend a hand, or, should I say, a shoulder. I heard what happened to your dad. I’m sorry, Rose," he said, and tears fell from her eyes. He wiped them away and hugged her. She let him in and both sat on the couch. "So, have you heard anything about your dad?" he asked.

"No. My mom just called to say he was being checked by the doctors. That is all I have heard about him," she said, crying. There was some space between them. He sat closer and wrapped an arm around her.

"I’m sure he’ll be all right, Rose. Your dad is a strong guy," he said, caressing her face, and she managed a smile. "Oh, Rose," he said, looking into her eyes. "Oh, Rose. My Rose," he said, and he smiled at her. She hugged him, and he hugged her back. The phone rang, interrupting their hug. She quickly answered the phone.

"Mom…yes…really? Thanks for calling! Oh, okay. Thank God. Okay. Bye," Rose said, hanging up.

"What did she tell you?" he asked.

"Dad is going to be fine. He just woke up laughing. I’m so happy, Jack," she said, smiling, and he smiled back.

"I hate to say it, but I told you, Weirdo," he said, and she started to laugh.

"Nobody has called me that in years, and it’s weird to say this, but I missed it," she said, smiling. He stood up and walked to her.

"I laugh, too, when I think back," he said, and she smiled.

"Did you change your mind about anything?" she asked, and he stared at her for a moment.

"No. I’m glad. I’m glad that happened between us. I always look forward to thinking back on those days. They were…were fun," he said, and she looked down.

"Thanks for coming, Jack. I needed someone to spend this time with. It’s been hard," she said, and he looked at her. There was a long, silent moment.

"What happened to us, Rose? Why aren’t we together? Why aren’t we living happily ever after? Happily ever after like in the movies," he said sadly, and she looked away.

"I don’t know, Jack. Pride, ego, I think in my case fear," she said, and he looked at her, confused.

"Fear?"

"Yeah. I was scared you would break my heart. The way you acted in the last months scared me, so I let you go before you would let go of me," she said, and he frowned.

"So, you broke up with me ‘cause you didn’t want me to hurt you? But you hurt me, Rose, and I know I hurt you. But I loved you. I loved you so much. You wouldn’t imagine how much," he said, and she looked at him. There was another strange silence. Then he took hold of her hand. "How did you do it? How did you forget about me? How did you let me go? Can you tell me now?" he asked, and her eyes filled tears.

"I can’t tell you how," she said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"I can’t tell you how I forgot about you, because I never have. I still think of you, Jack. You don’t leave my mind," she said, tears running down her face. "I can’t stop thinking about you, and every time I see you, my heart sinks and my pride takes over. When you get next to me, my breath goes short and I don’t know what to say. I hold onto my tears and my pride and look away. I act strong, but the truth is that I’m not as strong as I thought I was. I have had many nights filled with tears. I guess…the truth is that I’m still in love with you, and it kills me to know that, since I’ve tried everything to leave you behind. So, how did you do it? How did you forget about me? How did you let me go?" she asked, crying.

"I…didn’t. I have never forgotten you. I wouldn’t dare forget about us. I think of you all the time. Rose, that night in the restroom, when I stopped you, what I really meant to say is that I can’t take it anymore. I love you. I still love you, and that’s my secret. I guess we didn’t move on like we had hoped we would." He walked to her and placed his hands on her face. "I love you, and I haven’t stopped loving you even after you said good-bye. I love you," he said, and neared her lips, and like always, she finished. They kissed for the first time in years. He let go. "Can’t you understand? I can’t keep walking by you, pretending it’s okay and that I don’t remember you. I can’t keep pretending that I’m all right, because I’m not all right. Just your presence kills me. You took me over, body and soul. I need you, Rose. Did you ever miss me?" he asked.

"Yes. Every day," she said, tears running down her face.

"Did you forget about everything?"

"No!"

"Did you ever long to kiss me?" he asked, and she looked at him.

"Yes," she said, and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her. They kissed passionately for several minutes, and then he let go.

"Rose, I love you," he said, and kissed her again. "But Mandy and, I’m sure, Samuel, don’t deserve this," he said, and kissed her again. She looked at him and sadly looked down.

"They don’t. This is not their fault. It’s our fault. But what are we supposed to do?" she asked, and hugged him. She buried her face in his neck. "I should have never let you go. Now I’m haunted by these feelings. Time has not helped me forget you," she said, and kissed his neck and his cheek. He kissed her again. He could kiss her all night if he had the chance.

"You don’t know what you do to me. What you make me feel…but I can’t. I’ll hurt her like I hurt Regina. I blame you, Weirdo," he said, and she smiled. He took his hands away from her face and his phone rang. He looked at the phone and realized who it was. "I…I guess I have to go," he said, looking at her silently.

"Well…I guess you do," she said, looking down. He smiled and kissed her one more time, as if it were the last time. He didn’t let go of her until she needed to breathe. She smiled as he let go. "I missed you doing that," she said, and he smiled and slowly walked to the door. She slowly followed as he turned around and looked at her.

"Um…if you ever need anything or just want to call me because you found my number at the bottom of the laundry basket, here is my number," he said, handing her a piece of paper, and she smiled. She ripped a small blank piece from it and wrote her number.

"The same goes for you," she said, and he smiled.

"Okay. Well, I have to go," he said, and slowly exited out of her house. As he got into his car, he looked at her as she waited for him to leave. He waved, and she smiled. "Good-bye, Weirdo!"

"Good-bye, Creep!" she yelled, and he left.

Rose went to her bedroom and lay down. She smiled, Jack’s number in her hand. She had to admit, she had lost the battle with herself. She couldn’t help it anymore, but she still couldn’t be with him.

*****

Jack got out of his car and went into his house. He headed to his room. He placed Rose’s number on his bedside table. He lay down slowly, falling asleep, and thought about Rose.

The next morning, noise in his bedroom woke him up. It was Mandy, a frown on her face.

"Hey, babe!" she said angrily.

"What’s wrong? Why are you here? I thought you would be in Europe," he said, and she looked at him, disappointed.

"The show was cancelled! Now I’m back here! Stuck!" she said, and he looked at her, confused.

"Are you saying you’re stuck here with me?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes.

"Jack, I’m going to take a shower," she said, and walked away. Jack stood up and shook his head. The rest of the day was slow as he finished the movie. It was midnight when he got back home, to receive Mandy and a huge hug.

"To what do I owe the big welcome?" he asked, and she looked down.

"I’m sorry for being an idiot this morning. The truth is that you’re the only reason I would come back here. I missed you, Jack," she said, and he hugged her again.

"Yeah. Me, too," he said, and somehow didn’t feel right when he said that.

*****

Rose was shocked to see Samuel back so soon. He smiled at her and gave her a warm hug.

"I heard that your dad is doing better," he said, and she agreed.

"Thank God! I keep calling him. He sounds okay, and he says he is okay, so I’m very happy," she said, and Samuel smiled.

"I’m sorry for not being here. I had a bunch of work, and…"

"It’s okay. I’m okay." She smiled as she thought about Jack. He went to her and kissed her. To make it feel better, Rose imagined it was Jack. He went to sleep, and she sat in the kitchen, looking at the wall. She couldn’t sleep.

*****

Jack sat in his kitchen, as well, looking at his cell phone, thinking about Rose and how his life would be so different with her. Mandy kissed him good night ,and he didn’t answer back. He looked distracted.

"Well, good night!" she said, and left for their room. He sat still, looking at the wall.

*****

Rose stood up, looked at the phonebook, and stared at the little paper that was towards the end of the book. She stared at it and thought about it a long time. She made up her mind and grabbed the phone. She sat back down, stared at the numbers, and nervously bit her lip. She slowly dialed the numbers and hoped Mandy wouldn’t answer.

Jack stood up and was slowly leaving the kitchen when his phone started to vibrate. He looked back as the phone lit up. He walked back to the table, took it in his hand, and looked at the name of the caller.

Bukater, Rose.

He didn’t know what to think, but his heart started to thump faster. He smiled and pushed the green button to answer the call. Rose nervously waited for him to answer.

"Hello…" he said, and she smiled.

"Hey…" she said, and he smiled. Just hearing her voice made him happy.

"Um…do you know what time it is?" he asked.

"Yep…12:57," she said, and he smiled.

"Sort of late, but I don’t care," he said. "To what do I owe this miracle?" he asked, almost giggling.

"Oh, I just found your number at the bottom of the laundry basket and thought, why not call this weirdo," she said, and he laughed and then looked back to see if Mandy was behind him, and was glad she wasn’t. She did the same, but Samuel was asleep.

"I was just thinking about calling you, but I wasn’t sure," he said.

"Oh, it’s the number to my cell phone. I always answer it," she said. "Do you have me under my name?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, I don’t know, but I would change it if I was you," she said, and he laughed.

"We sound like a cheating couple," he said, and she smiled.

"Oh, we are not, but it feels like it," she said, and they stayed quiet for a moment.

"Rose…" he said, and stayed quiet, not knowing what to say.

"Jack…" she said, smiling while holding the phone tight to her ear, almost wishing he was there.

"Rose…I miss you. I have missed you for years," he said, and it again went silent.

"Jack, I missed you, too, for years! I think I have missed you too much," she said.

"What are we going to do? You are going to marry Samuel, and I’m with Mandy. I feel like there is no way out. I’m drowning inside my own feelings. I don’t know what to think or do," he said, and she stayed quiet for a moment.

"Me, either…Jack, I have to go. Samuel is probably wondering what the hell I’m doing," she said, and he agreed.

"You sleep with him?" he asked, and immediately hit his forehead, knowing how daring his question was. "I mean, you live together?"

"Hmm…yes, we do. Well, I have to go, Jack…" They stayed quiet again, hearing each other breathing. "I…I love you…I love you," she said, and he stayed quiet, then answered with his heart.

"I love you, too, Rose. I love you."

Both painfully hung the phone up and ended the call. Jack looked at his phone, then changed Rose’s name to Weirdo in his phone book and smiled as he looked at it. He stood up and walked to his room to find Mandy asleep. He lay next to her and brushed her hair with his hand, but he thought of Rose. Again, he was being unfair to a woman by saying he loved her when he really loved another woman. He stopped touching her, fell back, and slowly fell asleep.

*****

Rose lay next to Samuel, who was still awake and watching TV. She covered herself with the blankets and heard the sound of the television turning off. She felt his hands running down her arms and her body. Samuel started to kiss her neck, and then her face. Rose closed her eyes, and Jack came to her mind. Nobody could compare. She noticed how irritated she felt by his touch and pulled away.

"I’m sorry, Samuel. I’m just not in the mood," she said, and he looked away.

"Okay. I’m not going to force you," he said, and went back to sleep. She closed her eyes, and her mind was filled with guilt.

*****

The next day went by slowly, and Rose was tired, if not exhausted. She arrived home from her new movie, which had just a short appearance by her. She sat on the couch, to find Samuel coming in. She looked at him, and he had a large frown on his face.

"What’s wrong, Samuel?" she asked, worried.

"Both of my new movies were cancelled, and my TV show idea was denied! I’m so pissed!" he yelled.

"I’m sure you’ll get another chance, babe," she said, trying to comfort him, and he looked at her.

"No! I won’t! And to finish it all off, I have to go to New York tonight!" he said, going upstairs and to his room. She followed him as he put his things in suitcases.

"I wish you wouldn’t leave, Samuel…"

"But I have to! It’s my damned job! Now, will you please stop giving me that look and hand me my socks?" he yelled, and she did what he said. He finished packing and started out the door.

"When are you coming back, Samuel?" she asked.

"Damn it! When I can come back!" he yelled, and pushed her out of the way. He was very angry, as she could see. He left, and Rose walked to the living room and stared at her cell phone. One name came to her mind…Jack.

Chapter Seventeen
Stories