ACROSS THE STARS
Prologue
The pain was like nothing she had
ever felt before.
The woman gasped, struggling not
to cry out, as the contractions grew stronger and closer together. She tried to
find her center, to release the pain into the Force as she had been taught long
ago, but to no avail. The pain came in waves, growing more powerful and closer
together, like the waters of a great ocean before a coming storm.
She cursed whoever had decided,
in some bygone millennium, that a Jedi should be able to release their pain and
anxiety into the Force. Whoever it had been, she decided, had never given
birth.
The baby was coming, and soon,
according to the medical droids who now attended to her. The tiny life that she
had carried inside her for nine standard months would soon be separated from
her, not only from her body, but from her life.
Gritting her teeth, she bore
down, thinking of the man she had fallen in love with, though a Jedi was
forbidden attachment, and her lover, too, had had obligations beyond himself.
But that hadn’t stopped them from loving, as much as they had at first tried to
deny it. And as the months had passed, they had at last given in to their
feelings for one another, no longer denying what they both knew.
It had been a year since she had
been to the Temple on Coruscant, a year since she had come to this planet to
help negotiate the end of a vicious, genocidal civil war. The war had ended,
though the bitterness and pain of many had not, and still she had remained,
convincing herself and the Council that she was still needed there.
But it had been the planet’s
Senator who had kept her there, not the suffering people who were slowly
beginning to rebuild their lives.
They had met when she had first
arrived here. He had greeted her when she had stepped from her transport, worry
evident in his face. Unlike many Senators, his sympathies were truly with his
people—all of his people—and the violence that had broken out on the outskirts
of the planet’s largest city and spread pained him. He wanted to put an end to
the war, an end to the suffering, as soon as possible.
She had worked with him to
negotiate with the two sides of the conflict, addressing the grievances of both
and working to end the war. Neither side had come out completely satisfied, and
the grief and suffering had applied to both, but the war had ended two months
later, and most of the combatants had gone home and the death camps had been
emptied.
The Senator had gone to his estate
to rest and recuperate after the strain of the war, and she had gone with him,
ostensibly to protect him from the small bands of still-angry people who had
refused to lay down their weapons. There had been more to it than that, of
course, and they had both known it, but neither had acknowledged the feelings
that had been there from the start—not to each other, and not even to
themselves.
At least not at first. Several
weeks had passed before they had allowed those feelings to show, and even then
they had kept their growing relationship secret—the consequences of others
knowing had been unthinkable for both.
She had known from the start that
their love was impossible, that it would never work—they were both dedicated to
duties far beyond themselves, and those duties had already dictated the
directions their lives would take. But the joy of those stolen moments had been
more than either was willing to resist, though both knew that their love would
only bring them pain in the end.
If things had been different—if
she had not been a Jedi, if he had not been a Senator dedicated to his
people—it might have worked. But there was no changing the people they were, or
the directions their lives had already taken.
Two months after she had
accompanied him to his estate, they parted.
She had considered giving up the
life she knew for him, but for them to be together would have required him to
also give up his obligations—something that, in the end, he had been unable to
do. He was the Senator for millions of people, and in the traditions of those
highly born or highly placed on his world, his future had been laid out long
before. To abandon that future would have been to abandon his people, to
abandon a planet only beginning to recover from a war that had torn people apart.
A week before they parted, the
woman to whom he had been betrothed for a year had come to the estate with her
family. It was a political marriage, arranged by their families to consolidate
their wealth and power, but to put a stop to it would have threatened his
position as Senator—and his planet’s chance at lasting peace. Reluctantly, he
had made his decision, and the secret lovers had parted ways, he returning to
his city home for his wedding and she traveling about the planet and seeking to
establish peace between still hostile groups.
A month after she had left him,
she had realized that something was amiss, and, after being examined by a
healer in one of the small villages she had defended, she had risked returning
to her lover’s city to confront him.
She was pregnant.
He had been shocked at first, and
then regretful—he would never have left her if he had known—but it had been too
late to change things. He was married, and a divorce was very difficult to get
on his world, even if he was wealthy and well-connected. He had offered to find
her a home on his planet, to make sure that she and the child were provided
for, but she had realized even before confronting him that his path in life was
irreversibly set—and so was hers.
Things were changing in the galaxy,
conflicts growing more frequent and often more violent, and the need for
experienced Jedi Knights such as herself was growing. She didn’t know why it
was changing, or where it would end, but she knew that she had a duty to the
Republic that she could not turn away from.
She wanted the baby, but she knew
that she couldn’t keep it and continue as a Jedi. Even if she brought the baby
to the Temple to be raised as a Jedi and never spoke of their relationship, it
was inevitable that sooner or later someone would find out—and it would come
down hard on both herself and the baby. The baby might not even have the
potential to be a Jedi, and would be sent away once this was discovered.
Whatever happened, she would be unable to keep and raise her child.
Instead, she had asked the
Senator to take the baby. If it became known that he had an illegitimate
child—especially with a woman who was a Jedi Knight—it would bring him down and
destroy what he had worked to accomplish for his planet. But no one needed to
know that the child was his—the baby could be adopted at birth, the birth
records sealed. No one would ever need to know that the infant was his
first-born, or that its mother was a Jedi. Nor would the infant be tested for
Force-sensitivity—nothing would be done that might jeopardize either mother or
child.
He had agreed, realizing that
what she had said about the impossibility of her keeping the child was true—and
he would no sooner leave his own child to the tender mercies of a world too
often divided than he would abandon his people as a whole for a love that he
knew to be forbidden. He had spoken to his bride about it, telling her that
they would be adopting the child of a woman left widowed by the continuing
outbreaks of violence after the war. His wife had agreed—though the marriage
was not one of love, she did respect what he was trying to do, and was willing
to accept the baby as her own.
Now the Jedi woman lay on the
delivery table, straining to give birth. The pain was intense—she was unable to
release it into the Force as she had been taught—and she dreaded the moment
when the baby would be taken from her, perhaps never to see it again.
Though she dreaded it, the birth
was inevitable, and it wasn’t long before she felt the child at last slide from
her body, heard the first cries of the newborn infant. She pushed herself up,
wanting to see the baby—and perhaps hold it—at least once before it was taken
away.
"It’s a girl," the
medical droid who had delivered the baby told her, cutting and tying off the
umbilical cord.
She reached out, wanting to hold
her baby for a moment before she was taken away. The droid wrapped the newborn
in a blanket and placed her in her arms, allowing her a moment to see and hold
her daughter before she was taken away to her father, who waited at his city
home for the infant.
"Bring me my
belongings," she commanded the droid, turning her full attention to her
daughter. It was the only time she would ever hold her like this, perhaps the
only time she would ever see her, and she wanted to make the most of the few
moments she had—and leave a gift for her daughter, though the girl would
probably never know who had given it to her.
When the droid returned with her belongings,
she reached into a hidden pocket of her robe and withdrew one of the few things
she could truly call her own. It was a deep blue stone, mined from deep in the
ocean and rock core of her birth planet, Naboo, that had been cut into a heart
shape and suspended from a chain of glittering crystals. It had been a family
heirloom, one that her parents had insisted go with her when she had been sent
to the Temple at six months old to become a Jedi.
Now, she would pass it on to her
own daughter. She held the stone in one hand for a moment, feeling the odd
power that had always seemed to emanate from it, before tucking it into her
daughter’s blanket. She knew that the baby’s father would make sure that the
necklace was held in trust for her until she was of age.
Before surrendering her daughter
to the droid who waited patiently beside her, she had one last gift to impart—a
name. Though it was the custom of this planet that the father name his
children, no one but herself and her lover knew what the baby’s true parentage
was, and so it was her responsibility to give her daughter a name.
As the droid took the newborn
girl from her arms, she turned to it, telling it what her daughter’s name was
to be.
"Rosé. Her name is
Rosé."
"I will tell the adoptive
parents of the girl’s name," the droid told her, cradling the newborn
carefully as it walked away.
She watched it go, listening
until the last faint sounds of the droid’s footsteps had faded away, before she
lay back on the table and closed her eyes, trying desperately to overcome the
pain of giving up her only child.