MY STORY
Chapter Seventeen
The moment my Jack and I enter that mall
together, I get this uncomfortable feeling. I told you I don’t like "the
mall". Probably you’re thinking, what the hell is the big deal? Well, for
me, chicas, mall is—I don’t really know. I just sudden get this eerie feeling
that I don’t belong here, and like everybody is watching me- every step I make
and move I make- but I know everybody can go. Okay, it’s just me, all right?
I’m weird (not like you didn’t know it already ~_^).
I’m so quiet while my Jack is making
conversation, but I just end up answering him by shaking or nodding my head
even if I want to say something. Gosh, I’m so stupid—no that’s not the word—I’m
so-so- I don’t know the word I’m looking but let’s just use the word dumb (it’s
kinna the same as stupid but I like that) Okay, I am sooooo dumb (more
dumb than your mamma ~_~ JOKING! Don’t want trouble now!) that I’m letting my
chance to fly away to really get to know this hot guy walking beside me.
We pass the GAP, Hot Topic, Rave, and those
other clothes stores that I don’t go in. Wal-Mart is my store… he he he… The
mall is kinna empty and all we see are the old folks. I think Jack and I are
the only young ones. I guess it’s school day. Geez, I almost forgot, we have
skipped school! Oh, another thing to worry about tonight. Oh well… don’t give a
crap right now. What matters now is how to really get to know Jack. Well,
not physically, you big pervert! Not yet. ..he he he… (mischievous laugh)
So okay, ladies, we’re gonna start by making
small talk. Got it?
Okay, here we go. Clearing my throat, I open
my mouth to speak but Jack cuts quickly, "So why were you there?"
"Huh?" I reply back. Gosh, what’s
he talking about?
"Why didn’t you go to your first period
class?"
"Oh, I—I—uh—just didn’t feel like going
to class." And then, I decide to add some humor (not that it’s funny),
"I should ask you the same thing." I give him my shy-innocent smile.
He smiles back and says, "Hmm, I guess
the same reason. I didn’t feel like doing any work that’s related to school. So
I just, start wondering around that damn school." Then, he pauses and his
face gets serious, "I hope ya don’t mind me asking this, but why didn’t
you feel like going to class?" I know that question is coming!
Should I tell him the truth? Tell him that his
girlfriend was mean to me and almost made me cry. I don’t think so. I don’t
want to tell him that, and he might think I’m just making it up and then, hell
get mad at me. I couldn’t afford my Jack to get mad at me.
"Oh, it was something." I say,
looking down, "I just got emotional. That’s all!" Then, I give him a
smile that doesn’t reach my eyes.
He just nods but I know that he isn’t
convinced. I can tell by the suspicious look in his face. He’s looking at me
now. Still serious. My stomach is starting to form butterflies, and I just want
to tell him the truth now. I don’t like lying to my Jack. But I won’t tell him.
Gosh, his ocean blue eyes are staring at me
as if he’s seeing through me. So there’s only one thing to stop it.
"I need to pee." I say. Hey, I
can’t find anything to say to break his stare.
"Okay, there are restrooms near the food
court. " Then, we start walking in silence.
At the bathroom, I’m standing in front of the
mirror, looking at the reflection of myself. What’s happening to me? Why can I
just act normal when I’m around Jack? I want so badly to have conversation with
him without getting nervous or throwing up. I’m not the bad looking. My curly
auburn hair is okay. My body is just fine and I’m comfortable with it. I’m
short but I guess I look cute. I’m a straight A’s student. So what’s the
problem with me? Really, what’s wrong with me?
Taking a deep breath, I say at loud to myself
with a bitchy attitude, "You’re so beautiful, girl. You’re the hottest
girl ever and you’re way better than that bitch Laura. So what if you’re
not a cheerleader, huh? Jack is with you right now. And Laura is not."
Then, I hear toilet flushes and gosh,
somebody’s here! I thought I was alone. Okay, I need to leave before that lady
sees me.
Walking outside, Jack is nowhere to be found.
Where the heck is he anyway? I look around the food court but he isn’t there.
Man, please don’t tell me he left me. I think it’s for the best if Jack and I
go back to school. I mean, I have to give up the chance of getting to know my
hottie. I’m his tutor anyway and that gives chance to spend time with him alone.
I can still see him but I know there’s nothing gonna happen between me and him.
So why take the risk of getting hurt? I’m already hurt that I saw him with
Laura and it hurts like hell (not that I’ve been in hell before. Just making a
point ~_^). I don’t know if they are going out yet but if they are, it
will hurt more. So why go even farther?
Okay, so if I find my Jack-er- I mean
Jack, I’ll tell him to take me to school, and I know I’m making the right
decision.
Walking around to look for him, I stop in
front of the glass window of a floral store. –sigh- Those red roses look
beautiful. They are so red, and I just want to have one on my hand right now
and of course, minus the thorns. I don’t want to prick myself now and bleed. The
sight of blood kinna makes me sick sometimes. But those lovely petals match my
hair and the stems match my eyes except they are greener.
"There you are," Jack’s husky voice
came behind me, "I was looking all around for you."
Turning around I said, "Sorry. I was
looking for you too and I---"My eyes widened the moment I saw what Jack
was holding.
"Flowers for you, lady," He said
giving me the flowers, "I bought while you were gone."
I take them and say, "Thank you."
Gosh, I am like so out of breath. Jack is so sweet. Can you believe that he
bought these roses for me? I was just looking at them few minutes ago and now,
I have them on my hands.
"Jack, they are beautiful. I just don’t
know what to say." Well, I’ve said something but really, they are—they are
exquisite. …he he he… Is that word familiar to you? Ha!
I’m starting to daydream now. The soft
background music is starting to play. Everything disappears and it’s just me
and Jack now, surrounded by thick white clouds. Small, cute, little hearts
starts floating everywhere, and Jack is smiling at me. His stunning face is so
breathtaking.
"Say yes, Rose." Jack says softly
while caressing the side of my face gently, "Go out with me, please, my
beautiful Rose."
"Yes, Jack. Yes." I say to him. My
heart is pounding and I’m in cloud nine. I just keep saying ‘yes’ to Jack.
Gosh, this is a great feeling. Wonderful feeling!
Jack puts each hand on my shoulder and says,
"Yes what, Rose? Are you okay?"
"Huh?"
"You kept saying yes."
"I did?" My cheek starts
getting red. It seems that I was daydreaming again and said stuffs out loud.
"I did!" I exclaim but it’s more like a question. I gotta think of
some quick before he suspects I was daydreaming about him. "Oh, I was just
thinking of something! Sorry!"
Gee whiz! Tsk tsk tsk. I thought I was over
with daydreaming! It seems it will be with me forever. ~_^
Jack laughs at me but he isn’t laughing at
me. He’s laughing with me. …he he he… I’m being silly again. ~_^
It took me by surprise
When I saw you standin' there
Close enough to touch
Breathin' the same air
You asked me how I'd been
I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine
Oh, but baby I was lyin'
What I really meant to say
Is I'm dyin' here inside
And I miss you more each day
There's not a night I haven't cried
And baby, here's the truth
I'm still in love with you
(And, that's what I really meant to say)
And as you walked away
The echo of my words
Cut just like a knife
Cut so deep it hurt
I held back the tears
Held on to my pride and watched you go
I wonder if you'll ever know
What I really meant to say
Is I'm dyin' here inside
And I miss you more each day
There's not a night I haven't cried
And baby, here's the truth
I'm still in love with you
(And, that's what I really meant to say)
What I really meant to say
Is I'm really not that strong
No matter how I try
I'm still holdin' on
And here's the honest truth
I'm still in love with you
And, that's what I really meant to say
That's what I really meant to say
That's what I really meant to say
- Cyndi Thomson
Gosh, isn’t this story getting more lame?
Sorry for the grammar mistakes too. So please, don’t blame me if the episode
starts with present tense and then changes into past tense and the go back to
present tense again. It’s just me and I know shame on me. And I call myself a
straight A’s student? … he he he…