MY STORY
Chapter Nineteen
Well, HELLO there!
Guess who’s happy right now?
Me!
Yeah, me as in Rose DeWitt Bukater. The girl
who’s been boring you since the very first part of My Story. Okay, so what do
you think? I’m getting something finally, huh? YEY for me…he he he…how did the
last chapter end? I forgot. Just joking! Who could forget such thing? Okay,
okay, okay, so I asked Jack if the things going on was real and him was real,
but then, he kissed me instead. Not only an ordinary kiss, but a long,
passionate, kind of hard-with-tongue kiss…he he he…
I am out of breath for a while but then, I
quickly regain enough oxygen. Whew!
Man, that’s the stuff! And then, I notice
that his breathing is also uneven. We’re both out of breath.
Man, it took me many chapters to get this
far! Man, I’m slow. Other stories have things going on in their third chapters
(talk about getting it on ~_^) So, what’s gonna happen for me now, huh? Maybe
this is like one of those kisses (definitely not!) that he just does to a girl.
For example, remember the library kiss? Maybe that was what happened here.
Maybe he would forget about this tomorrow or even tonight when he gets home!
And I, on the other hand, won’t be sleeping because of that last kiss we’ve
shared. I’ll be dreaming about our wedding tonight, honeymoon (gotta have that
in my dream), our life together, blah blah blah…
So, what’s really the deal here, huh? Let me
ask him. Yeah, I’ll ask him. You think I don’t have the guts? Well, I’ll prove
you wrong.
Okay, here we go:
I open my mouth to speak and then,
"Thank you." Dope! What on earth was that? Oh my word! Did I say
that? Well, well, well, guess who’s right again? You, of course. So
what? So I don’t have the guts to ask what the deal here? At least, I was the
one he kissed, not you, silly! MUHAHAHAHA!
But anyway, really, I’m taken aback about
what just had happened. Man oh man, what is going on now. He’s not saying a
word. What does he think about what I’ve said? He thinks I’m silly probably
(not that he doesn’t know that already).
Oh yeah, just let you know, it has only been
seventeen days since I’ve met Jack. It looks longer huh? Probably there are
lots of chapters, but things are going so slow.
Anyway, there goes the silence again! There’s
not gonna be end to it, huh?
Then, he smiles. Golly, I’m lost again with
his smile. This smile is like a teasing and amused smile. It looks sexy, too.
"There’ll be more of that if you want
to."
Blood rushes to my face, and I’m burning red
again. How many times I’ve been blushing today? I lost count. What about you?
Well, it doesn’t matter! HA HA HA!
I can’t believe he said that! I mean—I’m—I’m
just speechless, you know? I mean, I don’t know what to say. If you were in my
position, what will you say or do? A help here will be nice. Fine, don’t help
me! Forget you then!
Again, I’m still blushing like some
schoolgirl in her cute little school uniform, and it’s embarrassing enough that
I’m burning here to death, but I just don’t know what to say to him.
Okay, something major has happened here (at
least for me), and I think this is my chance, our chance (not your and
mine chance…he he he…his and mine chance). I shouldn’t be standing here and do
nothing. I’m letting things go (I finally realized that! DUH me!), and I had
many chances in the past few days with him to do something, but I didn’t do
nothing—er—I mean anything. My stupidity and timidness hold me back from
getting something wonderful. I keep dreaming and saying stuffs that I would do,
but I’ve never done them, or if I do, they end up being wrong because I forget
what to do or say. If I do something now, something good will happen to me and
him, or if I do it and don’t get anything good from it, that’ll be okay (well
kind of but not really okay), but I’ll know how it feels to try instead of just
hiding everything inside me and not do anything about it.
~ taking a deep breath ~ So, I, Rose DeWitt
Bukater Dawson—er—just Rose DeWitt Bukater, will take things slowly and try to
work on my stupidity and timorousness (shyness or nervousness for those who
doesn’t know… he he he…). I will do better for the sake of my love for Jack
Dawson!
WHEW! Did you like my little speech there?
…he he he… I sound serious in there (well, I am really)—well, except for some
mistakes, but I did well. …he he he…
Okay, let’s get down to business. Okay, let
me breathe. Everything’s gonna be okay. I need to do this. I will. I’m not
gonna chicken out now. You wanna bet? You still don’t believe me? Okay, we will
see. And you’ll pay later, by the way.
Letting a long sigh, I start softly,
"What’s going between us?"
"What do you mean?" He asks me. He isn’t
smiling, but instead, he has this steady serious look in his face.
God, give me strength. "I mean—I
mean—the thing between us." I’m looking at him, and I don’t think he gets
me, "I mean, where are we?" Well, that didn’t help either. Stay with
me, okay? I’m just starting, remember? "What are we?" Gee whiz!
What’s the right question I’m looking for?
"I still don’t follow, Rose."
Could you just get it, Jack? So it’ll be
easier for me? "Um, okay. We’ve only known each other for like—uh—two
weeks? Well, more like two weeks and three days. Or seventeen days and an hour
and a half. Or—" Looking at his watch, "basically two weeks, three
days, hour and a half and about thirty seconds. Not that I’m really
counting," I give an embarrass smile and continue, "But that’s not
the point I’m making here. What I’m trying to really say is that--where do we
go from here? I mean, what’s this thing between us? The relationship between
us—if you could call it like that. Where do we stand really?"
Okay, guess again. There goes that stupid
silence between us. One thing I have to ask you: how am I doing with all this
talking? Good? … he he he… by the way, where’s my money? I won the bet (did we
have one? …he he he…) I am talking to him right now, and I’m not chickening
out!
Oh, gosh, Jack is still not talking. He looks
gorgeous though. But really, this is making me nervous again. I could tell he’s
thinking. Oh, man. I feel like I’m gonna be disappointed, but I guess it is
expected in my case, huh?
His face is expressionless, and he says
softly, "I don’t know."
You don’t? But you’re the guy here. You
suppose to know, I want to ask him, but I keep my mouth shut. I don’t know
either. I mean, I think he should know after all, he brought me here after
skipping school and kissed me like that. I mean, he should know because I don’t
know! I’m trying here, and he’s not helping. I love him, but how does he really
feel about me? I need to know. Gosh, I feel like crying, but I won’t. I won’t
cry. I’m strong and confident now, remember?
Five minutes ago, I think, we’ve shared this
kiss, and everything was so good and exciting for me, but what about him? Did
he feel the same? Why did he kiss me then? Why? Is he playing with me? Does he
want to be with Laura instead of me, the boring mouse? Am I his little
amusement when he’s bored or when the great cheerleader is not around?
With a voice I usually sound when I’m
nervous, I ask weakly, "What are you doing with me then?"
Please don’t say you don’t know, I say
silently, please tell me why.
"Because I—"
"What the hell are you doing
here?" A voice that is so familiar cuts what Jack’s going to say.
My heart starts beating fast, and my body
turned into rock as I look at the person behind Jack. I feel like running, but
my feet are stuck. Oh, man! This isn’t happening to me!
"Rose, what the hell is going on?"
The owner of the voice demands to me, but then, he turns to Jack, who is now in
front of me as if he’s protecting me from the evil, villain guy (-sigh- so
heroic!) and says to him, "You, young man, have a lot of explaining to
do." Then, he, again, turns his attention back to me, "Young lady,
you will also explain, and it better be good. Is that clear?"
I am so scared from the look he’s giving me
that I just simply answer with my small squeaky voice, "Yes, dad."
O-oh… looks like I’m in trouble, huh? …he he
he… What am I laughing for? I’m so in trouble now! Dope! This is crap! Don’t
you think? Jack was about to answer me, and then we got cut by my dad! My dad!
You don’t know what he will do to me! I’m dead! I am! Later! See ya at my
funeral! Don’t forget to bring roses for me!