MY STORY
Chapter Twenty-One
After that weirdo conversation with my
parents, I start walking to my bedroom. Gosh, it’s only almost noon, and I
can’t believe that they didn’t tell me to go to school. What ever happened to
my father who once told me that education is needed to be successful and
missing one day of school will make my life miserable? And what happen to my
mother who wants me to be modest and all that. I know it’s bad to say this, but
my parents are greedy! I mean, rich people are always in? I like—er—I
mean, I love Jack for who he is not because he’s rich, which he is.
-sigh- I don’t know if I should worry or not. I mean, my parents did not tell
me to stop seeing Jack and in fact, they want me to invite him! So, what’s to
worry about? OK, I worry a lot but starting now, I’m not. Okay?
I think I’ll take a nap. … he he he… I
haven’t done that since forever. Too many things had happened today, and a good
nap will take all the tension from this silly brain of mind. Well, hopefully.
Okay, so I remove my shoes and socks. I go to
my closet and open it, take out my oversize shirt and start removing my
clothes. Don’t even think of something nasty there, you big perv!
After I change, I go to my bed and lay there.
Positioning myself in a comfortable position, I close my eyes and relax. Oh,
yes, this is going to be good. Night night people!
Late at night when all the
world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too.
'Cause I'm dreaming of you
tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me.
Wonder if you ever see me
and I wonder if you
Know I'm there (Am I there)
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside
Would you even care?
I just wanna hold you
close but so far
All I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you
Yes I do
I’ll be dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me.
Ah-Ah
I can't stop dreaming of you
I can't stop dreaming
I can't stop dreaming of you.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that
You came up to me and said
I love you
I love you too.
Now I'm dreaming with you
tonight
'Til tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly.
--Selena, Dreaming of You
It is three in the afternoon when I wake up.
Gosh, my stomach is so empty, and I am hungry. I need to eat. I have skipped
lunch. The last thing I ate was my yummy chocolate sundae with Jack. –sigh-
Jack. My Jack. Where are you?
Going to the bathroom, I wash my face and
look at my reflection. Hmm, well, well, well, I look good! …he he he… who is
that pretty thing looking back at me with her curls loose and rosy cheeks?
ME!
I look really good. For the first time in my
life, I actually think I am good looking. But is it good enough for Jack to
love me? Is it? I know I won’t beat Rachel with her blue eyes and pretty,
straight blond hair, but do I meet the requirement so I can date Jack? Even
once, God please, I would die a happy woman if I get to go out with Jack.
My Jack. Really. I told you that I would stop
calling him that, but it seems like the right thing to do. It is still my
story, right? So why not call him that. I can call him whatever I want to! And
ain’t nobody can stop me! I can call him my bitch if I want too! (oops! Did I
say that?) Wow, I’m getting an attitude here!
Then, suddenly there is loud knock on the
door that scared the life out of me! I think I’m gonna have a heart attack.
Jeez, lately, I’ve been getting my heart with different situation. Talk about
getting nervous, then excited, and of course, being in love.
After my heartbeat returns to normal, I open
the door and see my mother and father standing outside the door. They have this
mischievous smile on their faces.
Goodness! "Mom! Dad!" I exclaim
suddenly. Jeez, you would do that too if you were seeing them now! I have weird
parents! "What is it? What do you want?" I sound demanding there, but
I say it very smoothly and nicely with my usual tone.
"Well, we don’t want anything, but
somebody else want something." Father starts saying.
I am confused now. "Huh?"
Then, the wicked witch—er—my mom butts in,
"Well, dear. If you still don’t get it, there’s a nice young man waiting
for you in the living room."
My heart starts beating faster again. Oh, my
goodness! It can’t be! Gosh, my heart. I can die now! OH yes and die I will.
BUT not yet. Not before I see Jack. It’s gotta be Jack, okay?! No one will ever
visit me except him.
I didn’t say anything but instead, I run pass
my parents and go to the living room. And then, the most beautiful romantic
background song is playing.
La la la la la. I, Rose DeWitt Bukater, am
floating in heaven. Wow! I can’t believe my two eyes. Am I just seeing things?
Am I?
I am so out of breath. Gosh, I must be really
out of shape that I get tired so easily knowing that the distance from the
bathroom to the living room is less than twenty feet! Or maybe it’s just me
again because the sight of this person takes my breath away.
He has changed clothes and is now wearing a
pair of khaki pants and a casual white shirt. Yummy, he looks good enough to
eat. Remembering what I am wearing, I look down at myself and see my oversize
shirt. I need to change! You might think oversize shirt is not bad but mine is
really bad. Talk about small holes and torn hem of the shirt. And did I tell
you that there is a print on the shirt? Well, there is. And it says: I love
Jack Dawson. Yeah, well I made that one night while I was thinking of Jack, and
since I thought he would never see this shirt, I made it. But I guess, I
thought wrong.
Anyways, it’s too late to change, huh?
"Hey," I greet, him but it sounds
more like a whisper.
"Hey," He smiles and looks from
head to toe, "I didn’t disturb you, did I?"
Stop the pretty act, lover boy, and just kiss
me, my mind say but of course, you know me, I won’t say anything like that out
loud. I am shy, remember? In case you are forgetting it. I’m burning red right
now. I feel naked after he looks at me from head to toe. … he he he …
"No!" I reply to him as soon as I
regain my thoughts back. I need to save them for tonight for me to dream about.
^_^ "You didn’t disturb me. So…"
OH, great, I can’t think of anything to say.
‘So’ is a word I use often cuz I’m not good with conversations, ya know?
"I have bad news for you." Jack
simply says.
Bad news? Oh, man! Am I in trouble or better
yet, is he in trouble? Will it affect our relationship? Oh yah, what
relationship? Damn.
"Bad news?" I softly repeat
while I look at his gorgeous face for some clue. But there’s nothing I see.
Nope. No clue as usual. How could he not show any emotion if there’s a bad
news?
"Well, not really a bad news, but the
roses I bought for you are no longer red, they are actually kinna blackish
red."
"Oh," I reply but it is a reply of
relief. I thought there was something wrong, but it is okay now. Who cares
about those red roses anyways? Well, me! Yah, I loved those roses and now they
are gone. Too bad. I was planning to preserve them in case I won’t see Jack
anymore. … he he he…
"I’ll buy you new ones," he
suggests as he sees my face. Yeah, I look like I am about to cry over the roses
that can be easily replaced. But really, they are special. But hold on, did he
say new ones? So, if he said that he would buy me new ones, that mean he wants
to go with me again, right? Or maybe I’m jumping into wrong conclusion again.
"Look, Rose, I came here cuz I wanna say something to you."
"Okay." I let myself sit on the couch
and then, I gesture for him to sit also.
He walks towards me and let himself down
beside me while facing me of course. He lets out a sigh and starts talking,
"I was gonna say something to you at mall, but your dad interrupted what I
was about to say and so--"
Am I seeing this? And I know you don’t, but
let me tell you what I am seeing. Here’s Jack sitting beside me on the couch,
which my mother bought from a garage sale something years ago for fifty bucks
(okay, this is not the point and I know that). Anyways back to Jack. As I was
saying, he is sitting beside me and he actually looks nervous! Him! The cool
guy. I watch him swallow and let another uneasy sigh. Aw, what a picture
perfect! What’s he gonna say this time? Wacha think? I don’t want to guess no
more or daydream about what he is about to say. Remember the last time I did
that? I thought he was asking me to be his girlfriend but really, what did he
ask me, huh? To be his tutor! Oh, that was shameful.
"Um, okay. You’ve asked me where we
stand and what I am doing with you. And I know I said I didn’t know cuz I
didn’t really know." He lifts a hand on his forehead and massages it.
"I’m not good at this, but I want you to know that the reason why I am
here with you is because--"
Background music starts playing again and
everything disappeared. I look into his ocean blue eyes, and I am melting with
happiness. He is now caressing my cheek softly with his manly hand. So warm and
comforting against my fair skin.
He opens his mouth and his beautiful voice
fills my surrounding, "…the reason why I am here with you is because I
love you, Rose. I want you so bad that it hurts me to look at your beautiful
face and knowing that you don’t belong to me. I want you to be mine. Will you
be mine?"
"OH, yes, Jack. Oh yes!" I squeal
girlishly and quickly wrap my arms around him. My heart is jumping with great
happiness, contentment, joy or whatever you wanna call it.
Thank goodness it’s not one of those
daydream, I say silently to myself, this is real. It has to be.
But then, the background music fades and once
again, my surrounding is back, and I’m with Jack, but I am still hugging him,
which I may add REALLY tight. Was it another daydream? Did my love struck mind
play this game with me again. Oh no!
Oh my word! No no no! Not again. Please not
again! But it is true! Oh, but this time, I got carried away, and I’m hugging
him. I have to let go of him now. Okay, here we go and I need to talk to him.
Gosh, I’m embarrassing myself again.
"I—I—I," I’m stuttering and it’s
not funny. "I’m sorry! I don’t know what had gotten into me—" I start
making lame excuses and trust me, you don’t want to hear some of them.
He takes both of my hand and says,
"Chill. Don’t say any more, okay? No need for excuses." He assures me
with his gorgeous smile that gives me comfort, "Let me talk first and then
you can say anything you want."
I just nod my red head while he continues,
"I’m here with you because—" I stop breathing as I look at him and
wait for him to persist to what he’s gonna say, "I like you. As I said
before, you’re not like any girls I know and that what makes you different and
fun to be with. I’ve never met anyone like you before. And I don’t know where
we stand. I think it’s not just up to me to make that decision. And it’s not
just up to you, too. It’s up to both of us to decide where we stand
here. I was thinking about that since I left you in the parking lot. So, I
think we both have the rights to know where we stand in this line." I feel
his grip tighten, "I want to see more of you. Not just during tutor time
after school like we normally do, and we both know that we can’t keep cutting
school all the time just to go out somewhere," He smiles, "So what do
you think?"
Am I hearing this? I know this is not like
what I’ve daydreamed about a while ago but this is good. This is not a dream.
Okay, slap me just in case.
-slap!-
Ouch!
-slap. slap. Double punch!-
Holy crap! That hurt. What was that for? I
said, ‘slap me’. That means one. Not three and a double punch. But okay,
thanks for letting me know that I’m not dreaming.
I need to contain myself. Okay, let me chill.
Let me breathe. Just give me strength to do this without embarrassing myself
again in front of him. If he has a book that keeps track of the embarrassing
moments that I’ve had, I bet it would have been full but now (not really but
I’m over exaggerating here to make a point.)
Okay, let me say something now. –sigh-
"I like that. I mean, I want to see more of you." I mean, more
of you as in naked, Jack. Oops! My perverted mind! …he he he… I can’t believe I
thought of that. Well, actually, it’s not the first. Who wouldn’t want to see
Jack naked? I’ll be drooling to see him like that. That’ll be heaven. Oh yah,
baby.
Anyways, lets go back to reality. So, my
daydream wasn’t really completely untrue. The whole I LOVE YOU and I WANT YOU
thing aren’t real, sad but true, but at least the I LIKE YOU thing is kinna
true. Well, okay, WANT is very different from LIKE but oh hell! The most
important thing is that he likes me, okay? OH yah, I’m finally getting
something! Well, I got few kisses from him, but I mean, hearing things from him
is another situation, if ya know what I mean. Of course you don’t! HA HA HA!
Just joking! No need to bitch at me now.
"That’s a relief to hear. I was really
nervous about what you would say to me. But I’m glad that you agreed with
me," He slowly leans forward me and I close my eyes. My lips are ready to
be touched and I can feel his lips is about to meet mine when…
"So, anyone wants a cookie!?" It is
Mother, holding a tray with baked cookies. My fair face turns red again,
and Jack leans back from the couch with hint of disappointment. Who wouldn’t?
"I just baked these an hour ago and boy, I make the best cookie," Did
I ever tell you that she has this distinguish quality to brag? Well, she does!
My mother places the tray on the coffee table that is in front of us and
settles herself on the couch between Jack and me. Facing him, "You know,
it’s almost time for dinner, Jack."
"Mom, it’s only three!" I point out
to her shamefully. How could she do this to me now?
"I know, dear, but it’s only three hours
away, and since your father is here today, why won’t we eat early. That’s okay
with you, Jack?"
Jack glances at me and back to the witch I
call mother, "That’ll be nice, Mrs. Bukater."
"Aw, so respectful," Mother says
playfully while slapping my dream guy’s arm softly, "You can call me mom
or mamma, either one will do. I’m the best mother in the world, Jack and I’m
sure I need a son. And you’ll be perfect."
Am I hearing this? Oh gosh! Can you believe
this! My mother talking to the guy I love but not yet my boyfriend, telling him
to call her mom. I know my mother is shameless but not that shameless.
Gosh, Jack is probably thinking that my parents are wackos like I do. Thank
goodness, Dad’s not here in the living room with us.
"And you can call me Dad." Could my
life be more pathetic?
I look at Jack and he is not saying anything.
Oh, my gosh. I am so dead. I thought everything is getting better now, but my
lovely parents have to ruin the possibility of me being happy. I love my
parents and no denying to that, but they are killing my chance to get my own
life or at least to get to experience it. Dammit.
"I think it would be nice if I address
both of you with the normal formalities," Jack says softly.
"Nah!" Roger lets out a laugh and
may I add that it is a loud laugh with mixture of a snort, "No
formalities, son. You’re going to be part of the family so why not start
earlier by calling us, mom and dad."
"All right," Jack is giving me a
look now. Well, not the look that you’re thinking. I mean, like just a normal
look like these-are-your-parents look with a big question mark at the end. My
face is burning red now. I move my mouth to say I’m sorry but he just shook his
head and smiles. What’s up with all these smiles he’s been giving me anyways? …
he he he… Aren’t you sick of it? Not me!!
Jack and I didn’t talk for the next hour
because my parents kept him for themselves asking him with bunch of personal
and baloney questions. And there I was, sitting next to my mom, while I watched
Jack answered each personal question wittily and respectfully so he wouldn’t
offend my parents. Gosh, he might not be a bookworm but really, he’s smart.
Streetwise and knows how to charm people. God knows that his charms really
worked on me the day I first met him. Which I may add seventeen days ago. For
me, that was a long time ago.
Finally, my mother stands up and smiles at
everyone, "Well, I better get to the kitchen and start preparing dinner!
Rose, dear, why don’t you make some punch? I’m sure Jack will like that."
I smile at Jack and follow my mom into the
kitchen. What is happening to my life now? This is not how I want Jack to meet
my parents. I want him to meet them when they are acting sane, not like this.
Poor me. Poor Jack. Being the gentleman he is, he won’t deny the invitation of
my mother. Anyways, did he really have the choice? Yeah, but he chose to stay.
What about me? Did I ever get a chance to choose?
Hell no. I’ve never really had many choices
in my life. –sigh- Oh man! I’m still wearing my sleeping wear. I have to
change. Jeez! This is just not my day! Nope, definitely not.
Will my life ever get better?